moved back to @goldtinged

         (   part of the youtube starter series   )

‘  i told you, it’s not as magical as it sounds.  ’ ‘  oh boy, did he not like his box and he spent years in his box not liking his box.  ’ ‘  you have a habit for citing movies as evidence.  ’ ‘  kids kind of all look the same.  ’ ‘  when babies are born, everyone goes, ‘oh, what a cute baby’ eh, it’s a baby either your baby’s ugly or normal.   ’ ‘  i was a very ugly baby.  ’ ‘  i have the mind of a detective.  ’ ‘  you don’t have the mind of a detective, you just stumbled upon a good question for once that, you know, actually pertained to the story.  ’ ‘  what do you have against pennsylvania?  ’ ‘  it’s quite up there in pennsylvania, people to too much free time. you know what happens next.  ’ ‘  how’d that turn out? do we have any pictures of that?  ’ ‘  that’s not something you really tell someone in passing.  ’ ‘  who sold his son? he sold his son!  ’ ‘  anytime you have to say ‘it’s not incest, technically’ – that’s not great.  ’ ‘  did you just realize something? what just happened?  ’ ‘  did you not realize that until now?  ’ ‘  did i just solve something? i may have just solved something!  ’ ‘  the day you solve something, i’ll give you $500.  ’ ‘  $500 real dollars? i could go with disneyland on that kind of money. that’ll last me a couple days maybe.  ’ ‘  i’m not a sick-o, i’m just interested in– okay, maybe i’m a little weird.  ’ ‘  i love this right off the bat.  ’ ‘  i love it when serial killers have a fun little thing. i don’t approve of serial killers, but i think – if you’re gonna kill a bunch of people – you might as well have some fun with it.  ’ ‘  they don’t make serial killer baseball cards though, do they?  ’ ‘  everybody had an axe back in the day, huh?  ’ ‘  sometimes, even the most beautiful places, hold the darkest secrets.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna look up a slouch hat because that sounds like something i need.  ’ ‘  this guy sounds like a villain from rocky and bullwinkle.  ’ ‘  jazz it! honey, you gotta jazz it. i’m not gonna throw out this axe, so we better jazz it.  ’ ‘  let’s see how many of these fuckers i can make dance.  ’ ‘  i think, just, how about don’t kill people?  ’ ‘  i thought we were here to get into the mind of a serial killer.  ’ ‘  no, no, no, no. just a theory? it’s dumb.  ’ ‘  he seems like a cool dude.  ’ ‘  i think he just did it because he’s a badass.  ’ ‘  what’s so funny about that? he has a bomb.  ’ ‘  –you think james bond ever wore a clip-on bowtie?  ’ ‘  it seems like a bad idea to make your get-rich-quick scheme to be to impersonate a criminal  ’ ‘  which makes this, most likely, complete horseshit.  ’ ‘  they just said ‘unidentified object or some stupid shit like that.  ’ ‘  that’s interesting… if that’s true, that is interesting.  ’ ‘  cool guy. coolest guy in history. nice sunglasses. wow! bourbon’s great.  ’ ‘  and then he died?  ’ ‘  and then he died. talk about a guy who appreciates a cliffhanger.  ’ ‘  you don’t wanna make enemies of the deep state.  ’ ‘  he’s kinda starting to sound like an idiot.  ’ ‘  he’s a big dumb-dumb.  ’ ‘  that’s a good point. i never thought about that!  ’ ‘  in a lot of ways this dog is the real hero of this story, it seems like.  ’ ‘  i’d like to have something happy about this story and the dog is a regular lassie.  ’ ‘  oh. well, that’s a weird childhood.  ’ ‘  i can’t say i feel exhilarated right now.  ’ ‘  just try to picture one of the most famous people in the world trying to sneak into the tsa with a glued-on mustache and thinking that it’s gonna work out. i can’t believe he was even considering it.  ’ ‘  that’s avalanche of ‘he-done-it’ right there.  ’ ‘  oh boy… that’s uh… holy shit! is all i have to say.  ’ ‘  from my knucklehead perspective, this looks very bad.  ’ ‘  he dr. seuss’d his way out of a murder.  ’ ‘  this episode is bumming me out.  ’ ‘  you’re really hitting at their heart right now. keep going, keep going. maybe you’ll make a difference.  ’ ‘  i don’t like this guy.  ’ ‘  people were murdered… and this guy’s playing dress up?  ’ ‘  i feel dirty. i feel like i need to take a shower and then a bath and then another shower.  ’ ‘  i need a drink.  ’ ‘  don’t cite the internet.  ’ ‘  i mean, could you even detect ‘fruity garlic’ if it came down to it?  ’ ‘  i’m… li– if i were to– what is– what?  ’ ‘  shut up, you idiot. we’ve already decided!  ’ ‘  so you think this was all an elaborate hooky scheme.  ’ ‘  yeah, i don’t know, man. it’s just fucking weird.  ’ ‘  well, i think this theory is bullshit, but… anyways.  ’ ‘  it’s a real thing, pal.  ’ ‘  the whole idea of hysteria is that you don’t realize it. you’re not like ‘yeah, we all participated in a mass hysteria, it was a real riot. man, she got fucked up. she was having a great time. what a fun hysteria that was.’  ’ ‘  …and you don’t believe this, because?  ’ ‘  oo, this goes all the way to the top! i don’t know if we should be looking into this. some stones are best left unturned.  ’ ‘  meanwhile, they’re playing hot potato with a poison syringe.  ’ ‘  okay! you just shut your mouth. i’m done.  ’ ‘  i mean… shut up, you’re– i can’t even– this is… i thought you were like, on the level on this one.  ’ ‘  can you say, definitively, that she was not abducted?  ’ ‘  that’s it? fuck you! that definitively did not happen.  ’

ships that i wish were canon     ↳ emma carstairs/cristina rosales

‘there’s alotta white people up in here’

we’ll come out swinging, we don’t give no shits’

‘will you PLEASE stop rhyming and driving at the same time? you’re going to get us killed!’ 

‘we’re heroes. we’re sons. we’re men. we count for something’

‘okay, can you stop crying now? please.’ 

‘i just don’t understand why you won’t marry me.’ 

‘it’s just the thought–the idea of marrying you, being your bride, committing myself to you, it makes me want to…well…kill myself’

‘maybe i’m just a bitch. there’s mounting evidence that indeed may be the case’

‘yeah, all this love talk is really making me horny’

‘well, technically we didn’t have sex. we just ‘dined downstairs’‘

‘my english is also pretty damn atrocious’

‘thanks, dumb american!’

‘why is it that only crazy people are the ones worried about potentially running into other crazy people?’

‘you’re not at death’s door. or death’s driveway. not even in death’s zip code’

‘you’ll find a new bangpiece’

‘i’ve learned everything i need to learn’

goddamn, english is a terrible language’

‘dude, america looks like a prison’

‘it’s not like they can tell the difference’ 

‘i’m married. married years old. that’s me. super married.’

‘‘she’s a bitch. i mean i love her, but she’s crazy’

‘whatever it is, it is delicious.’

‘you want to sleep with my mom?’ 

‘are you hitting on me?’ 

‘i’m not really in the mood to be alone right now’

‘i mean—no offense—maybe you’re not an idiot, maybe it’s just the weed talking, but right now you sound dumb as a motherfucker’

‘what we did was not make love. there was no ‘love’ between these sheets. there was some stress, a bit of rage, and a shitload of frustration, but love had nothing to do with what we just did’

‘do me a favor. don’t die, alright?’

‘are you actually saying something nice about a man?’ 

‘i thought deserts were just sand and shit, but this is goddamn gorgeous man’

‘i’m anti-maternal’

‘love is bullshit.’

‘i love you. i’m here because i love you.’

‘love is just a bullshit story, a poetic veneer on why we get horny’ 

‘i don’t need your love, rolling solo is fine.’

fuck you lancelot, i can fight my own fights.’

‘i’m telling you straight up — this plan of yours is fucking dumbass as hell.’

tell him to go the fuck home’

‘i care about you dummy’

‘remember when you were grounded when you were 13 for shoplifting in kmart?’

triggering  /  nsfw   may  be  present ,   these  are  taken  from  varying  films.

“  With this candle… I will set your mother on fire. ”

“  Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine.  ”

“  With this ring, I ask you to be mine. ”

“  Please, there’s been a mistake. I’m not dead.   ”

“  If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain.  ”

“  If you cut me with a knife, it’s still the same. ”

“  I know her heart is beating, and I know that I am dead. ”

“  Isn’t the view beautiful? It takes my breath away.  ”

“  I’ve spent so long in the darkness, I’d almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is. ”

“  I feel my heart is aching, though it doesn’t beat it’s breaking. ”

“  Yet the pain here that I feel…try and tell me it’s not real. ”

“  I know that I am dead. It seems that I still have some tears to shed. ”

“  I was a bride. My dreams were taken from me.  ”

“  This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared!  ”

“  What are you doing here at this hour? You should be at home, prostrate with grief!  ”

“  What a story it is. A tragic tale of romance, passion, and a murder most foul! ”

“  Why go up there when people are dying to get down here? ”

“  This would stop his heart forever. Only then would he be free to give it to you. ”

“  If I hadn’t just been sitting in it, I would say that you’ve lost your mind! ”

“ You don’t know me, but I used to live in your dead mother.. ”

“ Be gone, ye demons from Hell! Back to the void from whence you came! ”

“ We must abide by their rules! We are amongst the living.  ”

“ Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose. ”

“  Hey, these aren’t my rules! Come to think of it, I don’t have any rules!  ”

“  Uh, I think, uh, they’ve had enough “exorcise” for tonight. ”

“  Not so fast, round boy. We’re gonna have some laughs! ”

“  And that, is why I won’t do two shows a night anymore babe, I won’t.  ”

“ My whole life is a darkroom.  ”

“ Don’t mind her. She’s still upset that someone dropped a house on her sister. ”

“ I will go insane and I will take you with me! ”

“ I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself.  ”

“ Uh, what I meant is, can you be scary? ”

“ Oh! I didn’t know you were asking me. Can I be scary?  ”

“  I don’t think we survived that crash.  ”

“  Please, they’re dead. It’s a little late to be neurotic. ”

“ Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can?  ”

“  Well, I’ve read through that handbook for the recently deceased.  ”

“ It says: ‘live people ignore the strange and unusual. I, myself, am strange and unusual.  ”

“ I, myself, am strange and unusual.  ”

“  I mean they’re gone, split, out of here, afterlife kids, deceased-ahh. ”

“ I was just wondering could you help me get out of here?  ”

“ Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? ”

“ You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age I would have been scared out of my wits.  ”

“  You must believe me. it was a horseman, a dead one. Head less.  ”

“  I think you have no heart. And I had a mind once to give you mine. ”

“ Villainy wears many masks, none so dangerous as the mask of virtue. ”

“ I have shed my tears for [ name ], and yet my heart is not broken.  ”

“  Their heads were not found severed. Their heads were not found at all. ”

“ He’s on the rampage, cutting off heads where he finds them. ”

“  That’s the problem; He was dead to begin with.  ”

“  What happened to you? Where are your parents?  ”

“  It’s not heaven he’s from! It’s straight from the stinking flames of hell!  ”

“ The power of Satan is in him; I can feel it. Can’t you? ”

“ He has been sent first to tempt you. But it’s not too late. ”

“ Sweetheart, you can’t buy the necessities of life with cookies. ”

“  You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. ”

“  If he weren’t up there now, I don’t think it would be snowing. ”

“ I don’t love you anymore. I just want you to go, okay? Just go. ”

“  Are you serious? I’m gonna lose you to that? He isn’t even human.. ”

“  Trust me, dearie, it’s gonna take a lot more than ale to wash that taste out.  ”

“ We could have a life, us two. ”

“  Maybe not like I dreamed. Maybe not like you remember. But we could get by.  ”

“ In these once familiar streets I feel… shadows… everywhere.  ”

“ You have a room over the shop, don’t you?  ”

“  Haven’t been there in years. People think it’s haunted. ”

“ You see, years ago, something happened up there. Something not very nice. ”

“ I tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen to me.  ”

“  If I see your face again on this street, you’ll rue the day you were born. ”

“  You’ll kill me, boy? Well here I stand! ”

“  You’re barking mad! Killing a man what done ya no harm! ”

“ Don’t worry no one’ll recognize you. You’re safe now.  ”

“ I’ve never had dreams. Only nightmares.  ”

“ I won’t slay anything. I don’t slay, so put it out of your mind.  ”

“ Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk? ”

“ Some says you survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter.   ”

“  There is a place, like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery and danger. ”

“  Why is it you’re always too small or too tall?  ”

“ You used to be much more… muchier. You’ve lost your muchness.  ”

“ It looks like you’ve run afoul of something with wicked claws… ”

“  What if it were agreed that “proper” meant wearing a codfish on your head?   ”

“ Do you know what I’ve always dreaded?  ”

“  I’d rather you didn’t. I’ll be fine as soon as I wake up.  ”

“  If you’re hiding her, you will lose your heads.  ”

“ I don’t care! He wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for me!  ”

“ I’ve been shrunk, stretched, scratched, and stuffed into a teapot.  ”

“  So, I’ve come to you hoping you might understand what it’s like. ”

“ There are questions I have to answer, things I have to do. ”