aryn !!

You weren't dating, not really, John Logan didn't do relationships, but you were together in all the ways a relationship conveys without the formality of a title. You cheered for him on game day, he would call you every time he had a bad day, you would always find each other at parties and at some point along the way you'd found yourself a spot at the hockey house.

The change started slowly, so slow it was almost unnoticable at first. Your first significant meet with Hannah outside of Malone's was at the block party, you'd been having drinks with the guys and a few girls who had joined in hopes of scoring a hookup when Logan noticed how detached Garret had been from the party. That was the first time you noticed the longing glances, but they still didn't register fully because he still spent the rest of the party on your side and you still ended up in his bed that night.

"Lo I think someone's knocking" Tonight a bunch of people were over at the hockey house, it wasn't a party per se, but the entire hockey team plus a few other friends were around. You were currently sitting on the couch watching the guys play a hockey videogame.

"No one ever knocks" Logan replied not taking his attention off the tv.

"Exactly" You pointed out making it clear that if someone was knocking there must have been a reason.

"Fine" He sighed and handed you his controller, he started walking away and then turned back around "Wait no, she'll score an own goal, pause it!" But you were already moving your little guy around the ice, in circles really instead of actually playing the game.

He didn't seem to pay much attention to Hannah that night, just an extra look when a half naked, straight out of the shower Garrett took her upstairs.

Your next encounter with Hannah was Beau and Dean's party. You had coordinated outfits with one of your friends, Logan was a bird aliongside Tucker's bee and you were all throwing shots when she walked in. Hannah looked amazing in her head turning bunny costume that made Garretts magician make sense now.

In all honesty, you wouldn't have noticed anything weird with Logan if it hadn't been for the way his hold on your waist had instantly dropped when he noticed her. You played it off as nothing when Tucker appeared next to you and dragged him away for their little tradition, but your brain filed it away anyways.

"Mmm we're late" You mumbled into Logan's lips, you were parked on a lonely dark street a few streets away from Malone's because he, verbatim, had said 'you look too good I'm not making it the whole night without a taste'

"Mmhmm" He mumbled against your lips grinding his hips up to you "Don't care"

"Oh come on" You separate a little, he follows as if you were connected by a string, chasing your lips "Karaoke night is my favorite"

"You won't even sing" He complained pushing his forehead against yours.

"Maybe tonight I will" You tell him.

"You're telling me if I drive us to Malone's right now you'll actually sing tonight?" You nod, it's not true, you're most definitely not singing tonight, but you know if you're any late you're gonna fall victim to Dean, Tucker and Beau's incessant teasing the whole night "You're on baby"

When you get to Malone's you get the great surprise of Tucker on stage singing Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy "Holy shit" You gasp hitting Logan's arm.

He chuckles, Jules walks up to you with the song request clipboard "I'll put you and Garrett up for Summer Nights" They say already scribiling down the words.

"I know that's a joke but I would kill Sandy" Logan replies "Anyways, put this one down for Shake It Off"

"Noted" Jules writes down your name and song.

"Do not" You say but Jules smirks and walks away "Jules!"

They don't even turn around, just puts their hand up and waves approaching another group of people, Logan laughs "Come on, let's get a drink" He guides you to the bar, Tucker's voice flowing through the place with the crowd joining in every chorus.

Garrett and Hannah are at the bar, Hannah seems to be enjoying herself as she says hi to you all giggily sipping on what seems like a piña colada "I'll take one of those please" You call out to the bartended who nods getting to prepare the drink.

"Logan!" Hannah exclaims after pulling you into a drunken hug "You fixed my car" She points at the man, Logan nods with a strained 'yeah'. The girl turns to Garrett "He fixed my car"

Garrett looks confused "You have a car?"

The brunette gives him a weirded out look "No"

You stiffle a laugh at her response and squeeze her a little when you notice her somber expression "Had a car" Logan clarifies "Great car"

"I'm buying you a very special thank you drink" Hannah announces then "And you, for being a new friend" She turns to you, then there's confusion in her eyes "We can be friends right?"

"Yes Hannah, we can be friends" You chuckle, she beams.

"Great!" Then she leans over the bar and whispers something into the bartender's ear "Okay you're gonna love it!"

"Hannah has discovered the piña colada tonight" That explains the girl's drunken state, she's probably had too many but thankfully he is with Garrett who is probably the most responsible guy in this bar tonight.

"I've only had one, or four" Hannah laughs, she seems to be having fun.

"Is that what I'm getting too?" Logan asks, you don't miss the way he says 'I'm' but you ignore it, for now.

"Mmm nope" She turns back to you and Logan just as the bartender sets your piña colada and two very bright blue drinks "Okay, for my mechanic, and my new friend, I call this the bluebaru"

She hands you each a glass, you look behind her at Garrett as if asking for help but he just looks amused "Oh! It looks like wiper fluid" Logan says as he inspects the drink.

You take a sip, your face scrunching up at the taste of it at the same time as Garrett says "That might actually be wiper fluid"

"It's mostly blue curacao" Hannah explains "With the secret ingredient" She leans in closer to you and Logan "More blue curacao"

"Oh! I'm so excited" You laugh at Logan's clear suffering at the simple thought of drinking this, you already know you're handing this to either Dean or Beau the moment you see them, those two will drink pretty much anything.

You've just found Dean and Beau, the latter being occupied with his tongue down a redhead, when Hannah's name is announced. "Here have this" You shove the drink into Beau's hand and slip into the seat next to him.

"What's this?" He asks but is already taking a big gulp of it "Fuck!"

You smirk "Hannah Wells' creation, the bluebaru"

"You've got some competition" Beau nods at Logan who is staring intently at Hannah as she performs, that's the first time you really notice it.

"Oh hell no" Dean speaks making you realize the redhead's gone.

"She's with Garrett" You point out.

"Right" Beau nods but the damage is done, for the rest of the performance you can't stop noticing the way Logan looks at her like she's the most interesting thing in the planet and how his look changes to a more somber one when Hannah starts serenating Garrett more openly.

"Kinda sweet isn't it" Jules approaches their brother when they notice the looks he's been giving the girl performing "Garrett being serious about someone"

"You think he's serious?" Logan asks.

"Everyone on fifth line seems to think so" Jules replies "They get more likes than anything else I post" When their brother doesn't say anything they sigh knowing the conversation isn't going anyways "Not that you should care or anything"

"What are you talking about?" He asks, Jules doesn't reply, instead they nod to the booth where you and Beau are watching Hannah sing and Logan can't help but to feel a pinch of guilt in his gut.

You don't sing that night, and you're surprised when, after a few hours of him hanging out with everyone but you, Logan comes over and asks if you're ready to go. Your roomate is out and Logan takes full advantage of that giving you multiple orgasms, you don't think about why he's being so good to you, he'd already shown how interested he was earlier, but he can't help but think he has to make it up to you all night long.

The last thing Logan wanted tonight was to end up talking about Hannah with Garrett but here he was because he couldn't help himself but to ask, and he hated himself for the relief he'd felt when Garrett basically confirmed they weren't together "Hannah was just a distraction"

"Yeah, I mean, sometimes you don't get everything what you want" Logan said "But… you're Garrett Graham, alright? Things are gonna work out for ya okay? They always do"

Garrett chuckled "Yeah well for you too man, I mean, you've got the girl, and you make it look so easy" Logan felt a pang of pain at the mention of you and his friend's perspective of your relationship, things there weren't easy, hell he'd been ignoring you for a few days now, giving you dumb excuses as to why he couldn't see you and it all was because he couldn't get his friend's 'girl' out of his head "And it's me and you in the bruins, that's the plan, right?"

Another lie he was keeping, the one where he was pursuing hockey alongside Garrett when he graduated "Yeah, that's the dream"

The next few weeks are like torture for Logan, you eventually wear him down enough for him to start hanging out with you again but he's distant every single time. In the meantime, he's trying his hardest to stop thinking about Hannah while the girl spends every free moment she has in their house because apparently, her and Garrett are officially together now. Every few nights he has to actually leave the house and stay over at your dorm because he can't stand the sound of his best friend hooking up with Hannah and his headphones are not enough.

Thanksgiving had been, surprisingly nice, Garrett and Hannah had gone to his father's to celebrate, Dean was away in New York and that left Tucker, Logan and Jules, the last one inviting you over even before the invitation had been extended to everyone who didn't have a place to go.

"He's gonna burst something" You mumble into Logan's ear, the man being surprisnigly affectionate today.

"Hey, he wanted to do all this" Logan replies squeezing your waist as he hugs you from behind making you giggle.

"Yo lovebirds, get to work" Tucker points at you with the knife he was holding making both of you to put your hands up in surrender before moving to do whatever you were appointed to do.

Logan ends up leaving with Jules a while later, they go to visit their mom at rehab even though that's the last place he wants to be and you stay behind with the rest of your friends. The turkey, much to Tuck's dismay, ends up being a disaster and you all migrate to the rink instead.

You suck at skating but you manage to stay upright enough to glide around as the group plays hockey using parts of the charred turkey as a puck. You've found yourself in the middle of the rink, with the help of Kendall, when Logan and Jules return with their marshmallow attack. You shriek as one hits you square in the chest and glide your way to them as good as you can but you end up slipping and falling straight into the arms of Logan who laughs as he helps you up.

"What are you guys doing?" You ask laughing as your friends in the rink shriek when the siblings keep pelleting them with marshmallows as they skate around.

"It's a Logan thanksgiving motherfuckers!" Jules screams and continues their attack.

"Let's call G and Dean" Tucker suggests, pulling his phone out.

That's where your night changes drastically, when the illusion that you'd been keeping up shatters, because while you'd spent today in Logan's arms whispering jokes to each other and sneaking in kisses here and there the moment Hannah and Garrett's faces appear in Tucker's screen he drops your hand and his expression falters.

Your hand immediately feels cold at the loss of touch and you can't concentrate on the words being exchanged, you smile through it and then when they hang up you unlace your skates and replace them with your shoes and get the hell out of there.

Logan doesn't notice until Jules mentions it.

You stop reaching out to him, your replies come out short when he texts and you always have an excuse as to why you're busy or he can't come to your dorm. In just a week you've shifted your entire friend group from the hockey team to the football team. They greet you in with open arms, you've hang out with them before and Beau adores you, you also find out that the football girlfriends are real good friends who you can girl talk with even though you haven't been close for too long.

"Honestly, good for you" Mia, one of the wide receivers girlfriend's says, you're telling them the story of why you've ended up hanging out with them more lately while trying not to freeze your ass off while you watch the team practice "For having a backbone"

"Men can be so dense" Lily shakes her head "I bet you he's still wondering what he did to piss you off"

"I think he's taken the hint" You shrug "He's stopped spamming me at least"

"Sooo now that he's out of the picture… you and Beau?" Mia asks suggestively wiggling her eyebrows.

"Nope" You deny immediately "Been there, done that, we're friends and that's where we're staying"

"Wait you've hooked up before?" Lily's eyes are so impossibly wide "Okay share!"

You chuckle "We were freshmen, it happened a few times and then we figured out we enjoyed hanging out with each other but neither of us wanted a relationship so it kinda fizzled out" You shrug "But I also became friends with the hockey boys and Dean and Beau come as a package so we just stayed friends"

"I've always wondered" Mia trails, her eyes following Beau as he runs drills "When people say they come as a package, do you guys think they like… have threesomes and shit?"

You choke on nothing, heat rising up your neck "Oh. my. God" Lily jumps pointing at you "You dirty slut" But there's no real judgement in her voice, just curiosity.

"Would you look at that? I think I better go work on my psych paper" You stand up ignoring the girls asking you to come back behind you.

Malone's is packed by the time you make it in, Mia and Lily insisting they needed you there so here you were. You knew the hockey guys would be here, it was after all their fundraiser, Logan is at the entrance when you arrive "Hey you came" He looks surprised about your presence.

"Yep" You nod "Here I am"

The air is only awkward for a few seconds before your savior, Beau Maxwell, steals you away with a quick comment at Logan and soon enough he has you at the bar with a drink in hand.

"Hey!" Hannah greets you, you haven't seen her since before thanksgiving either and although she is, unknowingly, the reason why you and Logan fell out, there's not a single cell in your bone that resents her "Great party right?"

"It always is" You nod with a smile "Although I kinda like this venue better than the usual one"

Hannah curtsies "Thank you, all my idea. Have you met Allie?"

You nod and wave at Allie who's behind the bar "Yeah, hi"

"Hey" She smiles back but then her eyes track someone behind you. You turn to see who it is and your mouth falls agape when you find Dean walking by, a smirk on his face as he squeezes your waist and continues in. You look back at Allie who looks exactly like someone who's been caught doing something they shouldn't be doing "I-"

You chuckle and shake your head letting her know she doesn't need to give you any explanation, thankfully for her Hannah had been too distracted with the band on stage to notice.

"Give it up for after hours everybody" Dean says once he's up on stage "And a big round of applause to my buddy John Logan for putting on this killer event" You clap alongside everyone, for all his faults John Logan really cares about the Little Canes and has always pulled through for them "Look at him, doesn't get any more good looking than that. And he's single ladies" The crowd of girls around the room cheer, you chug your drink.

Allie gives you a look sliding another drink in front of you before going back to paying her full undivided attention to Dean "I thought you and Logan were…" Hannah says confused.

"Nope" You reply taking your drink and walking away to find either Mia and Lily or Beau.

"Ugh look at him" You grumble staring at Logan's smile as he talks to Hannah, you're now a few drinks in and your filter is running thin "Like her boyfriend is not his best friend who also happens to be 5 steps away lik get a grip dude"

Mia and Lily chuckle, you've found yourself in the middle of them while each of them has their boyfriend with them, luckily for you, because as upset as you are you don't want Logan's crush on Hannah being public knowlege, the guys are too busy engrossed on a conversation about how awful their season is going.

"I think" Lily says "You need a little distraction"

"Mhm" Mia agrees scoping the crowd out "How about… him?" She points at a brunette guy.

"Too complicated, he's on the hockey team" You tell them.

"That would just make things more interesting" You shake your head "Fine, no athletes then" She thinks about it for a few more seconds "How do you feel about artists"

You look the way she is, her gaze locked onto Justin Kohl "That… I might consider" The girls giggle next to you.

You do end up talking to Justin once his set is done and find yourself entertained enough to consider leaving with him. Key word: consider because when you are getting your coat while he waits by the door to join him Logan stops you.

"Hey can we talk?" He grabs your arm, soft enough to not hurt you but strong enough so you can't just slip away.

"Uh I gotta go" You say "Someone's waiting for me"

"What- I mean, what happened?" You give him a raised brow "We don't even talk anymore and I just need you to help me understand what happened"

"Logan come on, you're not that dumb" The dumb comment doesn't affect him but you calling him Logan makes him recoil. You never call him Logan, it's always Lo or John.

"Please" He says "I- I thought we were good" You scoff "What?"

"You're in love with your best friend's girlfriend Logan" You deadpan, if you had had one less drink tonight you probably wouldn't have said anything, but here you are.

"What? No I'm not" He argues.

"Yes you are!" You tell him "And honestly? That's a problem for you and them because you and I weren't even together"

"Don't say that" He shakes his head.

"Don't say what? It's the truth. We had fun while it lasted but now you clearly have your sights set on someone else and I think that's something you really have to deal with soon because it's not fair for anyone" You look at him for a few seconds, waiting for your words to sink in and then you say goodbye and walk away no longer in the mood to hook up with Justin.

It takes Hannah and Garret to breakup, fighting and then making amends with Garrett and Hannah and Garrett getting back together for Logan to start to accept his feelings, and once again, he hates himself for it. You were right the night of the fundraiser, this crush he had on hannah wasn't fair to anyone.

"Okay no, this is ridiculous and we need to talk" Hannah stops him as he tries leaving the kitchen as soon as she entered it even though he was halfway through making a sandwich. Something he'd been doing for weeks, avoiding her at all costs "Garrett said to ignore it, that it would eventualy go away, but I can't keep doing this"

"Wellsy I don't know what you're talking about" He tries to lie.

"Stop that!" She points at him with that scary authority the guys had come to know and fear "Do you have a thing for me?"

"Well, this has been fun, but I think I'll go upstairs and kill myself now" He says attempting to walk away but her voice stops him.

"Sit down" He does so because although Hannah is comparably smaller to him, she's scary.

"There's no point talking about this Wellsy I think we both know what the answer to your question is" He sighs.

"Just… answer it"

"Fine" He huffs "Yes I have a thing for you"

"Why?" She asks after a few moments of silence that felt like hours to him.

"I- What?"

"I'm so not your type and we both know it" She lets out.

"You don't know that" He accuses.

"Oh yeah? Prove it, what is it that makes you have a thing for me?"

"I'm tired of the parties and hookups and hopping from girl to girl, you made me realize that, you with your movie nights full of cuddles and cheering at our games and cooking dinner and the looks you give Garrett-" She snorts then interrupting his rant "Why are you laughing?"

"Because you're not hearing yourself, Logan… you don't want me, you want my relationship" Hannah tells him.

"I'm not into polygamy" He defends.

"No thats… thats not what I'm saying you idiot" She sits next to him "You say you're tired of hookups and hopping from girl to girl but tell me, how many girls have you slept with this year?" He thinks about it and the answer is easy, one, you're the only one he's slep with in over a year "You want cuddles and movie nights and someone cheering for you at your games and someone to cook you dinner and give you loving looks well I'm sorry to break it up to you pal but you had all that already" The 'pal' should've hurt but it just gets lost in the middle of the rest of the words as Logan realizes the truth in Hannah's words "Logan… you had the girl and you let her go and for the longest time I kept wondering why because it made no sense and here it is, the reason actually makes no sense"

"Shit" He cursed dropping his head onto the counter.

"Yeah, shit" The girl patted his back.

"Wellsy did you get lost on your way to the popcorn? Because- oh what happened?"Garrett entered the room.

"Logan here just realized he's been a bit of an idiot" Hannah explains and although he can't see them, Logan knows the couple is communicating with stares.

"Oh" Garrett lets out "Is this about…"

"Yeah"

"I've lost her haven't I?" Logan mumbles looking up to his friends.

"Uhhh" Garrett looks at Hannah for help.

"Noooo" But her tone doesn't sound sure "I mean… surely there's something we can come up with to help you get her back"

Logan groans and drops his head once more.

"Woah, what's with all the somber in here?" Dean walks in with Tucker trailing behind.

"Girl trouble" Garret lets out.

"Oh shit, finally got your head out of your ass huh?" The blonde slaps Logan on the back making him jump up.

"Dude" Tucker scolds him "Okay so… what are we doing? How are you fixing this?"

"I don't know" Logan admits.

"Right" Dean nods and pulls out a notepad and pen from one of the drawers "Operation GLGB starts now"

"GLGB?" Tucker questions.

"Get Logan's Girl back" Dean says in a 'duh' tone.

"You could've just said that" Garret argues.

"Well yeah but Logan here is always making up these terms so I thought it was fitting" The blonde counters.

"Okay whatever you wanna call it just… anyone has any ideas?" Hannah stops the argument before it gets too far.

It takes the group two whole weeks to come up with a plan and execute it.

"Beau I swear to God" You complained, Beau had come to your dorm earlier and dragged you out with no reason even when you complained you were working on an essay "If I don't get to finish my essay because of you I will cut your season short"

"You'd be doing me a favor honestly" He grumbles "Team's still doing so shit"

"Maybe because you spend your free time dragging girls out of their dorms instead of practicing" You point out sarcastically.

"Usually I don't have to drag them, they come on their own"

"Yeah cause you don't know how to get them there" You tease.

"Oh you know damn well I can" He smiles back.

"Ew no" You make a face, you'd rather leave those days in freshman year.

"Anyways, wait here" You're standing under a big tree in the middle of campus where the block party is usually held.

"Why?" You question.

"Just… stay" He pleads.

"Woof" You retort he chuckles and jogs away.

You sigh looking around, there's nothing Beau could be remotely interested in here, just people walking to and from classes and or dorms which your friend tends to stay away from as much as possible.

"Hey" You hear that familiar voice behind you, you don't turn, instead you're planning an escape that he doesn't let you complete as he stands in front of you.

"Hi"

"I'm sorry" He lets out "About everything, and I know you don't want to listen to me but please just hear me out"

"I can't" You try to say "I have an essay I need to finish, I'm just waiting for-"

"Beau" He interrupts you "Yeah, I know, I needed someone to lure you out of your dorm" You scoff running your hands through your hair "Please don't go just… just let me get this out and if you decide you want nothing more to do with me I promise I'll never bother you again"

"Two minutes" He nods.

"This is where I saw you for the first time, block party, freshman year, you were standing right here on your own" He motions to the spot you're standing in now "There were fairy lights on the tree and they glowed all around you like a halo. Garrett caught me staring, he told me to make a move, and I did, and honestly? I thought the most I was getting out of it would be a hookup but then we started talking and I knew that I needed you to be in my life as more than that"

"We didn't hook up in freshman year" You tell him "We barely spoke after that"

"True" He nods "Because you had that thing going on with Beau, and Beau was Dean's best friend and I didn't want to cause any drama within the team. But then one night we were out and he mentioned you two were just friends and I thought okay this is it, this is my chance" The two minutes are close to being over but you don't mention it "Sophomore year I realized no other girl made me feel the way you did, I stopped hooking up with random girls, I had no one night stands and I found myself looking for you in every room I walked into. And I've been the biggest idiot, I got in my head, I have a million things going on right now and the only good ones are you and hockey, in that order" He points at you "You and then hockey, but I let myself get wrapped up on the mentality of the other guys, the one where I couldn't possibly have a girlfriend because that meant leaving hockey behind"

In the entire time you've known John Logan you've never known him to be someone who can stand still for too long, a hockey player trait probably because all the guys are the same, but through this entire exchange he's stood right in front of you staring you in the eye as if he will spook you if he moves too much, the distance between you is a couple steps and it's probably the furthest he's stood since the night you met right here.

"But then, Garrett stated dating Hannah, Garrett Graham, the guy whose determination when it comes to hockey is so strong he's shaped his entire world around the sport, got a girlfriend, and he was doing great, he was thriving, he was happy. And seeing him like that made me jealous because I wanted that, I wanted to have the happy relationship and I confused that with wanting Hannah" He takes one step then, so small it makes nothing to decrease the distance "But I didn't, I didn't want Hannah, and I realized it too late. I realized that I had all that, I had it all with you I was just too much of a coward to call it what it was"

"Lo-" He cuts you off.

"Please" You've never seen him this broken "Please don't call me by my last name, I can't stand you calling me Logan"

You nod "John I don't know if I can just… move on from all this like it was nothing. We were together for over a year and never made it official, and it was okay back then because it was what we both wanted, but I'm not sure that's what I want anymore"

"But-" You put your hand out stopping him.

"I hear what you're saying, but what's to say we get back together and you realize it really is not what you wanted?"

"It is" He's basically pr¡leading my now, sure he said if you wanted to he would dissapear from your life, but he's sure as hell not going to do it without putting up a fight first "I know it is because we already had it and I loved it" He stops then and something flashes in his face, recognition "I love you"

Your eyes widen "Lo"

"I do, I love you" He chuckles shaking his head and gone is the man who stood still for so long because he's now cut down the distance and standing so close he's blocking your view of anyone else "I love going to parties and having you by my side the entire time, I love going to sleep with you in my arms and waking up to you basically on top of me, I love late nights snacking on Tuck's leftovers and I love seeing you in the stands at my games, I love you"

You're smiling now because you can tell he's being serious.

"I never had a crush on Hannah, baby you're the only one I've wanted so please, please cut me out of my misery and say you'll be mine again" His brown eyes bore into yours and you can't help but to pull him down by the neck and kiss him.

"Only if we do this right" You say once you separate, not that he let you go far, his hands are on your waist pulling you flushed against him and his forehead is on yours "No more situationship or casual or whatever it was"

He nods "It was never casual" And he pulls you in for another kiss.

You break out of the kiss when you hear your friends cheering behind you.

"Hell yeah I did that motherfuckers!" Beau exclaims clapping loudly.

"This is my song!" You shout as the familiar dun-dun-dun-dun of Act Up starts blasting through the stereo speakers.

As if on auto pilot, you lean forward and look back over your shoulder, not caring who your eyes land on as you anchor your hands firmly onto your knees.

Locking into the beat, you drive your hips back in time with each drop of the heavy bass, sending a sharp ripple through your body as your ass moves in sync.

Beau’s standing to the side watching you dance as he waits for his invitation. He knows you’ll give it; you just need to dance to a few songs on your own first.

He watches you through countless songs, body moving appropriately to whatever the beat required. The song changes into a slower song and you gesture him over with a curl of your index finger.

Your boyfriend comes to stand behind you, hands on your waist as you gyrate to the music. Beau doesn’t need to guide you, if there’s one thing you know, it’s how to feel the beat of the music through your body. You push your ass back and roll your waist, “Fuck,” he groans into your ear.

Your arms raise to the air and your hands find his dark hair. He pulls you impossibly closer, nuzzling into your neck as one slow song blends into the other. Taylor really did have the best assists.   

Another pair of hands find your waist and you look up to see Dean smiling down at you.

“Hey gorgeous,” you purr as you wrap your arms around his neck.

The three of you find a comfortable rhythm. Hips swaying and twisting to the music. You feel warm, the mixture of the alcohol in your veins taking effect and the bodies moving around you acting as a furnace.

“Should we take this party upstairs?” Beau’s breath tickles your neck.

You look up at him. He has that look in his eyes, the one that completely contradicts his sweet, dimpled, smile.

“Great idea,” you smile, slipping out from between them. You grab hold of Beau’s hand and pull him behind you, swerving through the crowd with ease and running up the stairs. You’re well aware that your too-short skirt is putting on a show for anyone that happened to look up as you were going up the stairs.

Dean doesn’t need to be invited to know that he’s supposed to follow you both up the stairs. The unspoken agreement between you all having been in play for months now. He stops at the makeshift bar at the bottom of the stairs, his blonde hair catching in the strobe lights, as he grabs the tequila, salt, and limes.

Once you get into Dean’s room, you pull your shirt over your head and lie back on the bed. You know the drill by now, but the familiar routine does nothing to quell the spike of anticipation in your chest.  

Dean comes bumbling in seconds later, a careful smile playing on his face when he sees you’re ready for him. He quickly pours two shots, placing one small shot glass in each hand for you to hold. You focus your attention on balancing them as Beau leans over you, his dark eyes locked onto yours as he carefully shakes two thin lines of salt across your stomach, stopping just under the lace of your bra.

Dean puts the bottle of tequila on the nightstand and places a lime wedge firmly between your breasts before shooting you a wink.

“Open up,” Beau coos, placing his lime firmly in your mouth.

Your stomach knots, they’re both towering over you and looking at you with a ravenous desire. It’s intoxicating.

They slowly come to a kneel on the bed either side of you.

“Ready?” Dean asks, as they put their hands behind their back.

You nod your head, careful not to move to much and spill the shots balancing on your palms. In unison, they lean forward to pick up their respective shot with their mouth. It’s a competition now with them quickly downing the shot and spitting out the glass.

Dean gets to your stomach first, using the tip of his tongue to lick the salt. Beau’s tongue is flat and flush against your stomach. He licks a fat stripe up and past your chest. You feel his warm breath against your skin and it leaves a trail of goosebumps.

Dean gently bites one of your breasts before taking the lime that’s there as Beau’s lips meets yours to suck the juice from the lime. The blonde presses his face further into your breasts, thrusting his tongue between them.

“You look so fucking pretty like this,” Dean calls, lifting his face from where it was buried between your breasts. “Doesn’t she look so fucking pretty, Beau.”

“You really do look so pretty.” Your boyfriend accompanies his words with a kiss to the tip of your nose.

You smile around the half-eaten lime that’s still in your mouth. You and Beau had been dating a little while before Dean came into the mix. You couldn’t understand why he was so hesitant to introduce you to his best friend. That is, until you saw them together. You saw the bond that he was afraid you’d see and run from. He worried you’d feel jealous and make him choose. But you didn’t feel jealous; you saw it for the opportunity it was.

The night you finally suggested bringing Dean into your shared bed, Beau had pinned you down and fucked you so fiercely that even days later, just the memory alone was enough to leave you completely breathless and aching all over again.  

You shiver as the cold tequila is poured directly into your bellybutton. Two fresh lines of salt are sprinkled across your stomach, and the old limes are replaced. Taking their places on either side of you again, the men exchange a quick smile before leaning forward. Their tongues dive into your navel, brushing against one another as they lap up the liquid pooled there.

They make quick work of sucking up the liquid that had overspilled before tracing the salt lines up your ribs, each using their tongues in different ways. You love the way your body reacts to them.

This time, it’s Dean that moves up to your face. Instead of just taking the lime, he plucks it from your teeth and replaces it with his own mouth. He runs his tongue along your bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth until you dart your tongue out to meet his. He catches your tongue between his lips and sucks on it. He tastes of sharp tequila and a deep, intoxicating familiarity that should be reserved for your boyfriend.

Blonde hair falls across your face as he deepens the kiss, you had told him that you liked it when he kept it longer, he hasn’t cut it since.

Heat pools in your belly as Beau gently pulls down the cup of your bra away from your breast. His warm mouth settles over your tight nipple, swirling his tongue around the sensitive skin before sucking on it. His hand is heavy on you, groping your other breast and running a calloused thumb over the sensitive nub. You moan in Dean’s mouth as Beau’s fingers pinch the nipple.

The sensation of having four hands roaming your body and two mouths on yours sends your heart racing. Your short nails scratch Beau’s scalp, urging him on. Your other hand makes its way between your legs where you’re aching to be touched. You run your hands through your slick folds and a satisfied hum escapes your lips.

Your boyfriend releases your nipple and stands up, yanking his shirt over his head and pulling off his jeans. He watches as Dean leaves a trail of kisses down your body, the blonde repositioning himself to settle between your legs.

Dean pulls off your underwear and uses his hands to spread your knees apart. Although you’re completely comfortable with them, you feel a blush creep up your neck. You’re fully exposed as they eye you hungrily, Dean between your legs and Beau at the foot of the bed, fully naked now and gently palming himself.

Dean looks back at his best friend for approval, they were yours and each other’s, but you were Beau’s unless he told Dean otherwise. Beau gives him a curt nod.   

You cry out, back arching, as Dean takes your throbbing clit into his mouth. The warmth of his mouth around you has your hips rolling. Dean moves your legs onto his shoulders and leans back to spit directly onto your pussy. He watches the spit roll down before diving back between your legs again, flicking his tongue around your folds in his journey towards your clit.

“How does it feel?” Beau asks, voice husky, “tell him how it feels.”

“Feels… fucking… incredible.” Your thoughts are incoherent; all your brain power is focused on the overwhelming pleasure. You look at Beau through hooded eyes to find him looking at you. His dick is growing in his hand as he watches Dean pleasure you. His lips are parted and you can hear his ragged breaths. You can also hear the sound of your wetness between your legs, Dean’s slurping and dragging a finger between your soaking lips.

You’re too turned on, the need to combust rising quickly within you.

Beau’s still only gently palming himself, not wanting to get too caught up. He doesn’t want to come now; he wants to be buried deep in you when that happens.

Your hips jerk up as Dean slides a finger, then two, into you. He curves them inside of you as he flicks his tongue back and forth against your clit.

The combination of the blonde between your legs and your boyfriend’s hungry gaze has you quickly spiralling to an orgasm. You shudder then cry out as your orgasm crashes over you.

“That’s it, you like that huh?” your eyes roll to the back of your head.

Both men whine at the sound of your moans, it’s their favourite song.  

Dean gently pulls your leg from his shoulders; you’re still twitching as you come down from your high. A satisfied smile spread across his face, you’re a mess.

“You taste so sweet,” Dean says, as he sits back on his knees, you can see a bulge in his jeans. “I could eat you for every meal.”

“Let him know how I taste,” you encourage jerking your head towards Beau. You prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better view of the men at the foot of the bed.

Dean pulls off his shirt before climbing off of bed and pulling Beau into a hard kiss.

A jolt of electricity shoots down your body and settles in your stomach as you watch them. The sight never fails to make your breath hitch. The kiss is intense, their teeth are clashing and they’re moaning into each other’s mouths. There’s no jealousy in you, no concern that you’ll be pushed to the side. You unlocked this side of them and you get to reap the rewards of that.

Dean grabs the back of your boyfriend’s neck, deepening the kiss. You swallow hard, your hand coming between your legs again. You’re already slick, aching for the weight of them to pin you down.

Beau pulls back to unbutton Dean’s jeans, pushing the denim and boxers down Dean’s thighs in one motion. Dean kicks them off the rest of the way.

Both of their chests are heaving, grasping for air as they turn their gazes to you. You’ve taken off your bra and skirt, legs spread open and you’re frantically circling your clit.

“Look at her,” Beau murmurs, his voice thick with desire.

“Lie back, baby,” you breathe, “wanna ride you.”

Beau sits on the edge of the bed and lies back. He looks at you and slaps his thighs. “Come take a seat.”

Dean stands between Beau’s open legs and grabs hold of his erection. He helps guide you over Beau’s hips and down onto his hard, leaking, dick.

“Can you feel how wet I am for you?” You whine, taking him in inch by inch. The way you stretch around his thick dick feels so good, you take a minute to feel it before bracing your hands against his chest and beginning to bounce in a steady rhythm.

Beau’s hands slide along your thighs; your breasts are bouncing with each thrust.

“Dean, look at how my pretty girl takes me in,” Beau grunts. You make a show of riding him; lewd moans escape your lips as you alternate between bouncing and rolling your hips.

Dean’s still between Beau’s legs, taking care of himself with his hand. That won’t do. “Dean, come here. Wanna taste you.”

Your mouth waters, you love sucking off Beau but Dean’s dick is heavier and it falls on your tongue in just the right way.

You turn your head to the side as Dean comes to stand beside you, squatting down a little so you can take him in your mouth. Your tongue swirls around the tip before you take him all in. His neatly trimmed pubic hair tickles your nose as you bottom out.

Your bounces falter as you focus on the throbbing dick in your mouth. Dean looks down at your lips, swollen and stretched around him. “Nngh… your tongue… ah.” Dean’s babbling incoherently.

His hands come into your hair, pulling you towards him as he bucks his hips into you. “S-shit, fuck,” he whimpers and Beau’s hips snap up into you.

Every moan and whimper that your mouth gets out of Dean earns a snap of Beau’s hips up into you.

“That’s my girl, taking both her boys in.”

Your nails dig into Beau’s chest as Dean’s breathy moans grow louder and faster. He’s close. Your hand comes up to play with his balls and that’s all he can take. He pulls out of your mouth as he cums, wanting to coat you both with it. Warm cum trails down your chin as Dean spills the rest of his climax onto Beau’s chest.

His dick continues twitching in his palm as he comes to a seat next to you. He lazily circles your clit as Beau chases his own release, hips snapping into you in a dizzying pace. Your second orgasm hits you more forcefully than the first. Your eyes squeeze closed until you see stars. You cum with a scream of both of their names.

Engulfed in your wet, clenching, heat, Beau cries out.

“I’m gonna fill you up,” he rasps.

You don’t think you can move, too exhausted and sensitive as Beau continues fucking up into you with pace. You’re willing yourself to move your hips, you want to take good care of him.

“Fuck.” Beau holds you in place as climaxes into you. You feel him throbbing inside of you and you clench, milking him for all he can give you.

You choke back a sob as you lean forward, completely spent.

Dean’s there immediately, wrapping an arm around you and raising you off of Beau’s softening dick. He lays you down and cleans you off with a washcloth. He wipes you gently, aware of how thoroughly fucked you are, and your heart tightens. He puts you under the covers before cleaning Beau up.

Once cleaned, Beau moves to press up behind you.

“Dean, cmhere,” your words slur as sleep threatens to take you over.

Dean climbs into bed beside you and you immediately snuggle into his chest.

“Happy Birthday, boys, I love you,” you say. Two pairs of arms tighten around you and you fall asleep with a smile on your face.

Because in his current one he was experiencing a level of torture that he thought nobody was possible of inflicting on another person “you are going to get me killed.” Beau grumbled against your mouth as his hands rested on your waist. 

It made you grin “I’m just a girl chilling on her bed.” You played defensively as you gasped feeling his hips grind against you. 

The boy laughed “you say that like you aren’t in my shirt.” Beau pointed out as he looked down at the football training shirt. 

The grey fabric practically drowned you, reminding him out that day you were in his jersey “hey finders keepers losers weepers.” You stuck your tongue out at him earning an immediate laugh. 

Beau tucked your hair behind your ear “you’re lucky that it looks better on you anyways.” He murmured leaning in to kiss your neck.  

You shook your head as you let your hands cup his cheeks before you pulled his attentions back to your eyes “you know what looks better on me?” You batted your eyelashes at the boy who swore he melted into your bed at that moment. 

You had this way of looking at him like he was the only thing that mattered. Sure he looked at you like that too. 

It was funny how time had a way of stopping when you shut your bedroom door. The apartment had become your safe haven once the girls found out about you two, it became a place where you didn’t have to hide “what does baby?” Beau asked as he cocked his head. 

You ran your tongue along your teeth “if it’s off of me.” Your words were met with an immediate groan as his head fell onto your shoulder. 

It made you laugh which was only made louder when the door burst open “absolutely not!” Allie shook her head. 

She was stood with Hannah who grinned when you looked past the boy on top of you “you need to get ready.” Allie pointed her finger in your direction “and you need to go finish helping set up your stupid house for this.” She moved her attention to Beau. 

It made the boy groan “I hate your roommates.” He grumbled when he finally sat up. 

You mocked him with a pout “they’re my roommates.” You reminded him as you giggled “and we’re also the ones who keep your asses safe.” Hannah reminded you of remembering when Garrett had an impromptu drop in and Beau was left being forced into your room. 

In a way it was almost ironic that Beau dropped in on girls night, just for Garrett to do the same thing thirty minutes later. That’s how you ended up being forced to fake a cold for a week after you had to hide in your bedroom too. 

Beau sighed as he knew that the girls were right “what is it that you want from us?” He asked as he let his hand snake around your waist once more. 

Allie rolled her eyes “for you to go away so that we can get her dressed.” Beau looked down to what you were in. 

What was just his t-shirt “well I think she looks perfect.” He confessed making both girls pretend to gag “nice try.” Allie crossed her arms. 

Beau grinned “now go away.” She added making the boy frown. 

He reached for your hand “no don’t look at her she can’t help you.” Hannah stopped him making you laugh. 

The boy looked at you like you had just gone to the dark side “I will see you later.” He went to kiss you but your roommates remained strong “go!” 

You toyed with your necklace as you laughed seeing them shove him out “you know your boyfriend is obsessed with you right?” Allie shook her head and you couldn’t even argue. 

Because the feeling was right, and listening to people still calling him your boyfriend made your stomach feel funny. 

It came when the rain was pouring outside. 

Beau came over after he finished a late class and practically slipped into your bed with you the moment he got a chance as you had complained that you were too cold to practically do anything. 

That’s how the two of you ended up watching Mamma Mia on your laptop together “so just so we’re clear Sam’s the dad right?” His words made you pause your laptop, leaning up from his chest. 

You turned to Beau and let out the harshest sigh you possibly could have “it’s a good thing you’re pretty cause you my friend are wrong.” You shook your head as you felt his hand on your back. 

Beau cocked his head “it’s so clearly Bill!” You whined not realising that the boy in front of you had gone strangely quiet. 

His fingers brushed up your arm absentmindedly. His fingers were slower as if his mind had drifted somewhere else entirely “you’re staring.” Your voice was soft as it pulled him back to you. 

He smiled when his eyes flicked back to yours “no I’m not.” 

“Oh yes you are.” 

And then he paused as he let out a hard exhale “I’m just thinking.” He shrugged as he leaned on his arm “that’s dangerous.” You grinned as your eyes shone this glimmer of mischief. 

He rolled his eyes as he huffed out a laugh “do you ever think about how this started?” He asked quietly as his arm tightened around your waist. 

You blinked as you cocked your head “how you’re wrong about a piece of cultural history?” You spoke so simply that it almost made him laugh. 

Beau shook his head “I mean us.” You turned to be fully in his arms “I think about it all the time.” 

It made you smile “what about us?” You furrowed your brows. 

His thumb brushed against your waist, almost nervous in a way you weren’t really used to seeing him in “I don’t want to just be your friend.” His words made you grow confused. 

“I’m not tracking with you Maxwell.”

He frowned, trying to figure out how he was meant to say it “what are we?” His hand reached up to cup your cheek. 

You chewed at the inside of your lip “I mean.” You couldn’t find the words to articulate it “we’re serious.” You remembered that night when the girls found out about him when you confessed that. 

Beau nodded “they called me your boyfriend.” He reminded you as if it wasn’t something that you were already thinking about. 

You licked your lips “I liked it when they did that.” His confession made you melt as he sat up talk as if it was about to make what he said more proper than when he was laying down “I want you like that.” 

He ran his fingers through his hair “you do have me like that Beau.” You nodded as he shook his head “not officially.” 

That made you nervous “what about Dean-” his hands cupped your cheeks “I know I can’t have you in public.” 

It should have stung. It should have made your heart break “but I want you in all the ways that matter to us.” Beau forced his lips into a smile when you grinned “who would have thought I’d get Beau Maxwell getting all cute?” 

He pecked your lips “your boyfriend Beau Maxwell actually.” 

It lingered in your mind as you walked into the house “Dean might kill me in this.” You shook your head at the two girls who laughed “well then aren’t we glad that you dressed up for your boyfriend.” Allie took a cup one of the guys who smiled at her before she gave it to you. 

You downed it without thinking twice as you nodded “remember if you’ve got it, flaunt it.” Hannah patted your lower back when you guys finally spotted Beau. 

He was stood in some black shirt and a backwards hat that made him look dangerously good “I-I,” You cut yourself off as your throat felt dry. 

Now you were learning how the world felt as it was so unfair. 

And then he looked up and finally saw you.

Before he completely stopped moving.

It was almost funny how obvious he was when he wasn’t meant to. 

But somehow it felt like something only you guys were meant to know.

Like his body forgot how to function for a second every time you walked into a room “oh my god,” Allie whispered beside you, delighted “look at his face.”

Hannah snorted looking at the boy “he’s gone.” Beau really was, his drink lowered slowly in his hand as his eyes dragged down your body.

The dress.

Your legs.

The way the black fabric hugged you in all the places he already knew too well.

It was something that Allie found in her closet, and she knew the moment you put it on that it was practically made for you. 

And Beau knew it by the way his eyes looked back up at yours.

And the look on his face made heat crawl up your neck instantly.

Because that wasn’t secretive.

That wasn’t subtle.

That was him reminding you that he was yours.

You swallowed as Allie grinned wickedly, “mission accomplished.” Across the room, Garrett said something to Beau that clearly went unheard.

Beau forced himself to nod as you smiled “think your man is thinking the same thing.” You winked at Hannah, who turned the same colour of red you swore your cheeks were. 

Beau was the first one to make his way over “I’ll meet him there.” Hannah squeezed your hand as she walked to Garrett before he had the chance to unintentionally cockblock you. 

Allie squeezed your arm “oh that boy looks sick!” She giggled like a kid in a candy store “try keep him breathing after midnight.” She teased as she gave you one last twirl.

You barely got a chance to respond before he was stood right in front of you. The boy made sure that there was enough space for it not to be overwhelmingly noticable, but he was close enough that you could still smell his cologne.

His eyes dropped again, straight to the dress. Then your legs. 

And to round off the trip they went back to your eyes, and the look that he gave you was enough to make your stomach flip “hi there, handsome.” You smiled sweetly. 

Beau exhaled through his nose as his eyes sharpened “you are doing this on purpose.” His words were directed at Allie but his eyes never left you. 

He let out a low whistle “c’mon baby I mean.” He reached out to put his hands on your waist but he quickly stopped himself. 

It was the part that you hated, the fact that he couldn’t just reach out and touch you, it almost made you feel jealous of Hannah and Garrett behind you, who got to be real in front of everyone when Hannah was still crushing on Justin two weeks ago, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say that she was still crushing on the singer. 

Sure you knew it was wrong to not be 100% happy for your friend, but you craved the publicity that her relationship got, “you look like trouble.” Beau finally found the words as he made you smile. 

Of course, he’d notice when his compliments made your heart soar, but you’d do everything in your power to hide the effect they had on you “that’s not very nice.” You lightly teased him as he shook his head. 

Beau decided to step forward again, this time allowing his mouth to drop to your ear “last time I checked, I wasn’t trying to be fucking nice.” He grumbled as he let his hand run along your waist. 

Honestly, that moment had done more to you than anything else. The thought of him peeling you out of your dress was something that seemed to be on both of your minds. 

Which was a dangerous look to have on a man in a room full of people “you are going to be the death of me.” He mumbled as he leaned back to take a look at you in full again. 

His jaw flexed as his eyes darkened. Beau was really weighing up the consequences of throwing you over his shoulder and bringing you upstairs

But then it happened, “Beau!” Dean’s voice called out, making your boyfriend step back. 

The boy groaned while you instead laughed “hey Deano.” You smiled seeing your very drunk and very oblivious brother sling his arm around Beau’s shoulders. 

Dean let his eyes linger over your body “you clean up nicely.” He announced as you tried your best not to look nervous. 

“Thanks?”

Your brother ignored you as he saw how Beau smiled at you “see this is why I have rules.” Dean slurred as he pointed his finger accusingly at his best friend. 

It made Beau’s eyes widen, “what rules?” He asked as he tried his hardest to act like you weren’t there and you tried the same thing with him. 

Dean continued, “you can’t hook up with any of my friends.” You had to force a laugh out of your lips “oh please, I’d never.” You scratched your arm nervously as if your brother knew everything. 

Thankfully he stumbled shortly after, making Beau practically catch him you are drunk.” Dean shook his head “I am having a better time than the two of you it seems.” He corrected his friend as you smiled. 

It was nice seeing the boys together, you had to admit it “c’mon lets get you some water.” Beau’s suggestion fell onto deaf ears “we are doing shots.” 

Dean looked at you “without her.” That was what your brother was always like so you really weren’t annoyed. 

Beau frowned as he really didn’t want to leave you “have fun boys.” You sent Beau a salute as he got pulled back into the crowd, disappearing into the sea of people.

Before you knew it, the party had gotten louder. 

Hotter and somehow more crowded even. 

Allie disappeared outside to answer a call from Shawn while Hannah was talking to Justin in some corner as Garrett was in the bathroom. 

Which left you alone as you got a drink in the kitchen “you’re Dean’s sister right?” You looked up to see a guy that you vaugly remembered as one of the lowerclassmen on the football team. 

You nodded as you watched him smile too widely “that’s sick.” He reeked of alcohol, and it made your nose scrunch in disgust. 

The boy didn’t leave “you got a boyfriend?” He stepped closer to you instead.

Your heart skipped “why?” You knew you should have just said yes but you stopped yourself from having to explain this to Dean “because I think we should fix that.” 

He reached for your hand as you shook your head, “I’m good,” the boy didn’t stop “c’mon don’t shut me down that fast.” He made you cringe when you stepped back realising that you were now against the counter. 

Before you even had the chance to panic you heard him “pretty sure she’s good.” Beau clenched his fists as he stood behind you both. 

“Can’t you take a hint?” 

It made the other boy laugh “we are just taking.” You took the chance to wriggle out of his space. 

Opting to slot into Beau’s side instead “no she was trying to get away from you.” Beau wrapped his arm around your shoulder. 

He squeezed his arm making the other guy snarl, “why do you care?” Beau tensed against you “because she isn’t up for the taking.” 

Beau spoke so simply, unaware of the fact that you were just about ready to make out with your boyfriend in the middle of party, without caring who saw you “whatever.” The boy raised his hands in surrender as he walked off. 

The brunette turned his attention to you “you okay?” His expression softened as he made you smile. 

You softly laughed “a lot better now that you’re here.” Your words made him almost melt. 

His hand cupped your cheek as his eyes stared at your lips “fuck you’re gorgeous.” He murmured doing everything in his power to not kiss you. 

His words were sweet as you nodded “you’re not too bad yourself pretty boy.” You shook your head, as you leaned closer to him. Your lips mere inches away from him. 

And just like last time the moment was cut before it had a chance to begin “Beau c’mon someone is sick on our couch!” One of his roommates groaned making you sigh.

Beau was ready to stay with you and leave the mess for someone else to deal with “no talking to strange men.” Beau grumbled as it made you let out a low laugh “is that your takeaway from this?”

He wanted to plant his feet in the ground and never leave you “I’ll behave.” He didn’t believe that you would, but still he couldn’t stay.

Not when he was literally being pulled away “I’m serious!” Was the last thing that he said as he got pulled back into the crowd. 

Allie appeared beside you as you grinned “y’know he was ready to like actually fight that guy.” She squeezed your hand, making your cheeks turn red. 

You licked your lips “that guy was weird.” It sent a shiver down your spine. 

She gasped dramatically “no way, your secret boyfriend who is obsessed with you, got jealous?” She teased you as she let out a laugh when you rolled your eyes. 

The girl looped her arm into yours, leaning her head against your shoulder “I am literally living for this.” You snorted as you shook your head “you are enjoying this way too much.” 

Allie nodded as if it was the most honest thing that you could have said “because it took you two so damn long to let us in!”

She remembered how awkward you and Beau were when you first started sneaking around “y’know he used to look at you like a lost puppy.” Hannah reappeared next to you as you shook your head. “No he didn’t.”

Your defensiveness made them laugh “you love him.” Hannah elbowed your side as she slipped her arm into yours. 

You chewed at the inside of your cheek “yeah I do.” You nodded as you realised that you really meant it. 

Both girls squealed as they jumped up and down, seeing your eyes land on Beau’s. You did always managed to find him in the crowd. 

And like always, Beau was looking at you too. 

Allie stood in front of you as she grabbed your face “this is like the best day of my life.” Her words made you groan.

You shook your head “Allie!” You whined as you hated how well the girls could read you.

Hannah watched as you scrunched your nose “I hate you both.” You grumbled making her stick her tongue out at you.

Allie grinned as she let out a laugh “but we are still the ones helping you two sneak around.” She poked your nose as Hannah giggled.

And they were right.

Because when you couldn’t find Beau anymore. Rather than going home with the girls, you opted to slip up to his room to get some quiet and hopeful company “was wondering how long it would take you to come here.” Beau smiled as he toyed with his watch. 

The door shut behind you “I was waiting for you to come and get me.” You smirked as the boy stood up from his bed.

His steps towards you were painfully slow “was trying to do that most of the night.” His hand reached for yours as he smiled. 

His calloused fingers were rough against your skin “seemed like you didn’t do a very good job.” You let out a breathy laugh when he walked you back into the door. 

Beau licked his lips “you enjoy breaking the rules?” Your lips hovered over his as you smiled. 

He grinned “last I checked Dean said his friends couldn’t hook up with you.” He recounted the conversation as if you weren’t there when it happened. 

You finally scoffed as you sent him a confused look “and what are we doing?”

Beau brushed his nose against yours “I am dating you.” His lips engulfed yours when you started walking him backwards against his bed. 

The boy grunted when he pulled you down with him “do you enjoy wearing something trying to kill me?” Beau asked as his thigh drew these tiny circles against your inner thigh. 

You smiled sweetly, “you look pretty alive to me.” You batted your eyelashes, almost making the boy’s heart stop. 

Beau nodded “that’s cause I have been planning on getting you out of this from the moment you got here.” Your body squirmed as you clenched your thighs against him. 

“So what are we waiting for?”

Which honestly made sense considering the entire thing was one giant mistake. 

But the frat party was a mistake before Beau got involved. 

You hadn’t even wanted to go originally, but Hannah helped do your hair while Allie dug through her closet for something that was ‘slutty but classy’ which directly translated into tight jeans and some white top that now clung to your skin after some drunk idiot slammed directly into you with a cup full of whatever he had too much of “yo sorry girl!” He called out as he continued walking. 

But you stood there staring in horror. Because that once white fabric was see-through now, and that meant that your red bra had to be on full display for everyone to see “shit.” Hannah’s eyes went wide as you let out a huff “I need a drink if I’m meant to deal with this.” You grumbled as both girls followed you. 

They swore you would have gone home right when that happened, but instead you opted to fill your cup up again.

Then again. 

And again. 

Which is how you ended up upstairs half an hour later, annoyed, tipsy and actively trying to find a quieter space after you disappeared from the girls. 

You weren’t thinking when you opened the door to the first semi-empty room that you saw. Until you realised it wasn’t empty. 

Beau was stood there, leaning against his dresser as he looked for a new shirt for himself to wear, as he too was covered in someone’s drink. 

If you had to put your money on it, it was probably your brother’s doing.

His eyes flicked to you immediately, then dropped before they snapped right back up “you okay?” His voice was soft, like it always was when he spoke to you. 

You let out a dry laugh “do I look okay?” You asked as you shook your head. 

Beau’s jaw tightened slightly. Because he was looking again. 

Too long.

Too obvious. 

You crossed your arms out of reflex and that almost made it worse pushing your boobs up. So the boy looked away as if it would quickly reset his mind “what happened?” He asked as he scratched the side of his arm. 

“Some guy happened.” 

His expression immediately darkened “relax.” You saod even though your stomach still felt irritated, “he just spilled his drink on me.” You ran your fingers through your hair. 

Beau’s eyes flicked to your shirt again, the fabric clinging and the outline too visible. His throat moved as he swallowed “I can see that.” His voice was rougher; something about it made your stomach flip. 

Without thinking, you stepped further into his room. Which was a bad idea, as you were now closer to him.

Close enough to smell him properly, beer, laundry detergent and something sharp yet masculine underneath it all. 

Beau shifted slightly as he was suddenly aware of every inch between the two of you “here.” He reached for the Nike hoodie that was behind you “you should probably get out of that shirt so guys don’t look.” His words made your ears turn pink. 

Because not once had you ever thought that Beau cared about what other guys did when it came to you.

You stared at him for a second too long “why?” You asked quietly as Beau blinked, “why what?”

“Why do you care?” 

Silence. 

The music downstairs thumped faintly through the walls. Someone laughed too loudly in the hallway. 

Beau’s grip tightened on the hoodie “I just-” He stopped himself as he licked his lips “it’s just annoying, that’s all.” He said it like it was an answer that made so much sense.

You tilted your head as neither one of you moved, the hoodie was between you and Beau already regretted every second of this conversation “you’re drunk.” He gave you this look, as if it explained everything.

You shot back “so are you.“ And that got him.

A faint helpless nod came from the boy before a pause. It was longer this time.

The tension in the room shifted, never disappeared, just changed shape as if it was keeping up with the times.

You stepped closer without thinking.

Beau didn’t move away. 

That was the problem. 

He never moved away from you “you’re staring again.” You pointed out softly 

The boy dropped his hands “you’re in my room in a see-through shirt. What do you want from me?” His question made you quietly laugh. 

Because he was right, “fair,” but then you went quieter, “is it bothering you?” 

Beau looked at you properly this time, no pretending, “yes he said immediately. 

Your breath caught slightly “because of the shirt?” You teased, voice no longer as steady as you wished it was. 

He shook his head once “no.” That word changed everything as your stomach dropped “oh.” 

Beau stepped forward without warning, it was just one step but ut closed the gap between the two of you.

His voice dropped, “you shouldn’t look at me like that.” His eyes hovered dangerously over your lips. 

Your voice was barely a whisper, “like what?” You always thought he was cute, but you knew your brother would kill you if you ever vocalised it.

“Like you don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

Your heartbeat skipped. 

That was it. The moment that everything snapped. The floodgates of emotion and desire flew open and everything was about to come tumbling out. 

You didn’t think. You just grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down slightly. Beau froze for like half a second like he needed to reboot.

Then he kissed you. It was powerful.

Like he had been holding it back since he knew you and stopped pretending he could win.

His hand came to your waist, firm as it pulled you closer, making your back hit the dresser behind you. 

You moaned against his mouth, and that only made him kiss you harder. 

It was warm, dizzy, and completely unfair.

You didn’t even notice when he dropped the hoodie, or when your arms slid around his neck. All you knew was that Beau kissed you like he’d wanted it for longer than either of you was willing to admit. 

When he finally pulled back, it was so he could take in the sight of you, how your lips were now swollen “this is such a bad idea.” He muttered, making you smile, “yeah it is.” Neither of you pulled away. 

So when Beau kissed you again, he brought your legs around his waist before he used his foot to shut his bedroom door.

Because this was definitely going to be a cause of night one and not one night.

The two of you had been sneaking around for a while now, and you made it through the summer, sneaking around the house in Cape Cod. You made it through sneaking into each other’s rooms as if Dean wasn’t feet away. And honestly, you were both feeling like you were on top of the world. 

Because it was getting too easy, which meant soon that you’d both start playing recklessly.

That’s how you ended up in his car at 2 am after a late-night snack run that you practically had to beg the boy to go on. 

You were sat in the passenger seat, one of his hoodies swallowing you whole. Beau was in the drivers seat, turned slightly towards you with his forearm resting on the steering wheel like he needed something to anchor himself to. 

The windows were fogging up a little and neither of you acknowledged it “we need rules.” You announced as you sat up straight. 

Beau quietly laughed “rules?” He cocked his head as you nodded. 

Dean had asked you if you wanted to hang out with him tonight and you didn’t know what you were meant to say when you turned him down “because this is going to get messy.” You insisted even though your voice didn’t sound sure of it. 

Beau’s eyes flicked to your mouth for half a second before snapping back up “it’s already messy.” He pointed out as the only thing going through his mind was how he really wanted to kiss you in that moment.

You sighed as you fiddled with your rings “okay what are you thinking?” Beau shifted in his seat to give you his full attention. 

You nodded like you were in control of your entire life and not currently sat in his car after sneaking out of your dorm.

One rule should have been obvious: Don’t do this.

But neither of you said it, instead opting for “no public stuff.” You said it carefully as if you were testing the waters. 

Beau nodded in agreement and your heart did something stupid because he didn’t even hesitate, “no kissing at parties or touching were people can see.” You continued knowing that it would be the first thing to blow the two of you up if it happened.

Beau’s jaw tightened at the second one but he nodded again “no Dean.” He added, making you laugh.

It earned a smile from him “yeah none of him.” He was the one you were trying to hide this from after all.

The first two felt manageable, the third was where things were going to get tricky ‘no telling anyone.” You knew that this was something he’d tell Joanna, and before you knew it, everyone would know. 

Beau didn’t respond and that made you look at him properly.

His expression had shifted to something less joking and more serious, like he was actually thinking about the weight of it all “yeah,” he said eventually, “no telling anyone.” Your stomach dipped as you nodded.

Because telling nobody meant hidden, and hidden meant fragile.

Beau seemed to notice your face changed, his voice softened a little “we’re not doing this because we’re ashamed.” His words lingered in the air. 

You licked your lips slightly “then why are we doing it?” Silence filled the car for too long. 

Beau’s hand left the steering wheel and rested on your thigh like he was forcing himself not to reach for your hand “because I can’t stop thinking about you.” He said those words so simply. 

It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t rehearsed and it wasn’t said as if it just made your stomach do flips.

You swallowed “that’s not a rule.” You pointed it out as your brows furrowed.

“No,” he agreed quietly “that’s the problem.”

The air between you both changed. It was thicker now; it was less about the rules you set to make.

More about everything you were trying not to say out loud. You shifted in your seat slightly, facing him fully, “Beau…” You trailed off as he looked a you immediately.

Always immediate. Always like you were the only thing in the room (or in this case, car) that mattered “are we okay with this?” You asked softly “like actually okay or are we just-“

“Already in it?” The boy finished your sentence as if he had been thinking the same thing. 

You nodded, Beau exhaled through his nose, almost like he was annoyed at how true the statement was. 

Then he leaned over the centre console, not fast, not rushed, just inevitable. 

Your breath stuttered before he even touched you “yeah.” He said quietly as his eyes flickered between yours, “we’re in it.” That was all the warning you got before he kissed you.

Slower this time. Less frantic than before. But deeper in a way that made your entire body go warm instantly, like it had been waiting for him to do exactly that.

Your hand slid into his shirt without thinking, pulling him closer as his hand came up to your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek like he still couldn’t believe that you were real. 

The console dug into your thigh as your seatbelt clicked when you shifted. 

None of it mattered. 

Because Beau Mazwell kissed you like he meant it every time. 

When he finally pulled back it was only slightly, resting his forehead against yours like he needed a break “rule four.” You whispered.

It made him laugh against your mouth, “theres more?” He asked as you nodded, “just one.” 

He hummed against your lips “go on.”

You looked at him properly, your fingers still hooked into his shirt, “if this goes bad ever.” You said, trying to sound casual and failing completely, “we don’t ever talk about it.” Beau’s expression softened instantly.

He paused, “but it’s not going to go bad.” You gave him a look “you don’t know that.”

Beau smiled “I do.” That made your stomach flip again.

You held your pinky out and Beau stared at it for half a second before he laughed and did the same thing “taking this to the grave.” You said. 

Beau squeezed your hand gently “to the grave.” He nodded. 

You should’ve let go after that.

You really should’ve. But instead, you pulled him back by his shirt.

And Beau met you halfway, like he always would. Like there was never really going to be a rule strong enough to stop him.

But it was funny how that last rule really didn’t last long. 

Because the girls were the ones who found out by accident.

Mainly because Beau was a football player and that meant that stealth didn’t come to him naturally.

It was nearly one in the morning when he showed up at your dorm wearing a dark hoodie and a baseball cap pulled low, “okay Stevie Wonder.” You let out a snort, seeing his sunglasses on him too. 

He rolled his eyes “if you didn’t take so long to come get me I wouldn’t need a disguise.” He grumbled pecking your lips. 

You grinned as you curled the string of his hoodie between your fingers “hey now I could leave you out here.” You taunted him, licking your lips in the process. 

He let out a low whistle “now where would the fun be in making me go home?” His hands rested on your waist as your cheeks turned red “you’re lucky you’re cute.” You grumbled as you grabbed his hand. 

It made him grin, “you think I’m cute.” He looked as if he had just been told he was the best looking man in the world “yeah so lets not let that change.” 

You got to your floor as you looked around “c’mon be quiet.” You brought your finger to your lips as you had snuck him past the security desk for what felt like the tenth time that week. 

Beau rolled his eyes “I know how sneaking works.” He snorted softly right before he walked into one of the random tables that were out.

It made this loud echo “do you now?” You crossed your arms as he grabbed your waist, shoving the two of you behind some corner before the RA had a chance to appear. 

You bubbled into this silent laughter as you grinned, “you’re enjoying this too much.” Beau muttered as he shook his head “didn’t think you would be this bad at sneaking.” 

“Usually I don’t need to.” 

You were still laughing by the time the two of you got to your dorm suite. 

Where you froze immediately.

Because the once empty living room now had both Hannah and Allie sit on the couch eating cereal. 

With a perfect view of you and the man you were holding hands with “I knew it.” Hannah lowered her spoon as her mouth fell open. 

Your eyes closed “Hannah-” Beau squeezed your hand, reminding him he was there with you. 

“I knew it!” She shrieked louder as Allie clapped her hands, looking genuinely delighted, “oh my god, its Beau!”

Beau looked like he’d rather be taking a tackling drill to the face in that moment “that’s why Garrett said Dean was going on about you having some mystery girlfriend!” Hannah remembered how the hockey captain pointed it out as you were running to a lecture one day as the two studied in your living room. 

Your head snapped “he what now?” Your eyes went wide as Beau groaned from next to you. 

Allie gasped as her hand went over her mouth “you’re the one that give her the hickies!” It was after a party where you were in a low-cut shirt and Beau got a little annoyed seeing all the guys look at you. 

So he made sure you were left forced to wear borderline turtlenecks in the middle of August “this is humiliating.” You groaned as you leaned into Beau. 

Allie scoffed “correction, this is the cutest thing in the world.” She spoke in a duh tone as she placed her bowl on the table. 

Beau slid his arm around your waist as your head buried into his chest, refusing to look at anyone. 

And the girls noticed that immediately. And the worst part? So did you. 

Because the tiny movement said more than either of you had yet “wait are you guys serious?” Her eyes darted between you. 

You finally looked up from the boy’s chest to see his eyes looking right at yours, “yeah.” He nodded making your stomach flip. 

Allie clapped her hands together as she squealed, “you’re dating Beau Maxwell.” It was a massive jump from when you swore you were off of guys last year after another failed hook-up.

You laughed despite yourself, “don’t make it weird.” You groaned, making the girls laugh. 

Hannah shook her head “trust me it’s already weird.” She informed you “your brother literally thinks Beau is in love with some random girl while you’re literally sneaking him into our door.” She pointed out making you look up at Beau who sighed. 

He knew what he was getting into when he started sneaking around with you “Dean’s gonna kill me.” Beau chewed at the inside of his lip. 

Allie shook her head “while you’re probably not wrong.” She trailed off, looking at Hannah, who gasped. 

“Oh my god, we can help keep them a secret!” 

While the girls offer wasn’t something either of you needed to take just yet, it felt like as the weeks continued, something was changing between the two of you.

Somewhere along the way, the sneaking and fun around turned into something serious. 

Beau had texted you all about how he had a bad practice, and that was how you ended up in his room without a second thought. 

He was in his ensuite showering, blissfully unaware of what was sitting on his bed waiting for him. 

You found his jersey and had kicked your jeans off, leaving you in your underwear and his shirt, “holy shit.” His eyes went wide as he took in the sight of you. 

The first went down to your thighs leaving you looking as if you were about to be swallowed whole “hi handsome.” You grinned as you pushed yourself off of his bed. 

Beau felt his brain short-circuit as he dropped his towel to the floor, forgetting what to do with himself “couldn’t you have waited until I got dressed?” He asked quietly as he reached for his boxers from his open drawer. 

You swore you hadn’t seen him get dressed faster in his life “would that have been more polite?” You tilted your head, watching your boyfriend turn back to face you again. 

He was quick to shake his head, “it would have been a whole lot less distracting.” He countered, making you laugh softly. 

Beau reached you as one hand automatically wrapped your leg around him. It was a move that made your pulse jump. 

His thumb brushed absentmindedly against bare skin while he looked at you like he didn’t know where to focus first “you wore this on purpose.” He mumbled as he licked at his lips, “maybe I missed you.” 

It made his expression soften. Every single time it happened. No matter how teasing the moment started, the second you said something genuine, Beau looked at you like you knocked the air out of him. 

“I saw you this morning.” 

You rolled your eyes, remembering how good he looked in your bed “long time.” Your words made him huff out a laugh before he lay you onto his bed. 

The sight always made you squirm as his chain rested on your chin before he kissed you. 

The kiss always started slow with Beau first. As he enjoyed the build-up far too much to rush anything. 

His hand slid from your thigh to your waist, while your fingers curled into damp hair at the back of his neck. 

He tasted like mint and Gatorade.  

And god you swore you could feel the smile against your mouth when you tugged at his hair “you’re trouble.” He murmured as he looked away to look at you. 

You grinned, “you like it.” He nodded as he caught your lower lip between his teeth “I’m obsessed with it.” Your heart skipped embarrassingly hard at that. 

But Beau kissed you again before you could recover, this time going deeper. One hand pressed into the mattress under you while the other slipped under your shirt letting his palm spread against your bare waist. 

You made this tiny sound into his mouth that made him shudder, “don’t do that.” He grumbled as his knee dipped into the mattress.

You cocked your head feeling a little confused, “don’t make noises like that unless you want me acting insane.” His warning sound have made you squirm but instead you smirked. 

“Maybe I do?” 

That line got the boy as he groaned before he kissed you harder again. 

His body settled on top of you as his fingers traced up your ribs underneath the jersey, making your breath catch in your throat. 

“Beau-“

A loud knock slammed against the door as you both froze “Maxwell!” Dean whined from the other side of the door, making your eyes widen in horror. 

Beau dropped his forehead onto your shoulder “you’ve gotta be kidding me.” He groaned as he wanted to hit your brother in that moment.

Another knock came “c’mon Tucker is downstairs waiting for us!” And just like that you remembered why you weren’t meant to be seeing Beau until tonight. 

He was seeing Dean and Tucker after practice “hide!” Beau whisper hissed as he motioned you to slide under his bed “not your bathroom?” You scoffed, matching his tone. 

The boy panicked, “no time.” He pressed a kiss on your lips before you begrudgingly listened making sure that you hid behind where his practice bag was dropped “why aren’t you dressed?” Dean asked immediately, seeing the lack of clothing that his friend had on. 

Beau looked down as he ran his fingers through his hair “sorry bro, the shower ran long.” It was a stupid excuse, but the first one that he could come up with. 

Dean nodded as he crossed his arms “well just hurry up.” The blonde let out a dramatic huff that almost made you laugh.

Your brother looked at the bed, hearing your hand slap over your mouth “did your bed just make a noise?” He asked, making Beau’s eyes grow wide.

Dean shook his head as he sighed, “ignoring that are you gonna come out with us tonight?” Your brother asked but quickly groaned seeing Beau remain quiet “c’mon man mystery girl can’t be that special.” That was the nickname the boys gave you. The reason why Beau smiled at his phone, left parties early, didn’t attend poker nights if the puck bunnies were coming along, and most importantly, stopped flirting with other girls. For weeks now, Dean had been trying to figure out who was the reason his best friend went soft, blissfully unaware that it was the very sister whom he spent mornings ransacking her snack drawer. 

Everyone was trying to guess who you were and beyond for you, Beau, Hannah and Allie, nobody was going to be successful for as long as you all could help it. 

Beau gripped his hand at his door “look dude I can’t do tonight but give me a sec to get dressed and I’ll be down for Tucker.” He didn’t wait for Dean to answer as he shut his door, making sure he locked it. 

His head dropped as he helped you out from under his bed “next time I’m hiding you under my bed.” You grumbled as Beau sighed. 

The boy pressed a kiss against your lips “sorry princess your brother would have killed me.” He sighed as his hands rested on your hips “wait for me to come back?” He didn’t want to leave you, he really, really didn’t want to leave you in his jersey looking like that. 

But if you both wanted to make it through the night, you really had no other choice in the matter, “you know I will.” You leaned onto your tippy toes to kiss him again. 

“Don’t make me come back up there, Beau!”

Once Y/N bonds Malentine, the most beautiful dragon she’s ever seen, she hopes Dain will ease up on the rules. When he doesn’t, she has no choice but to end things between them.

A feat she once deemed impossible, yet here she is. Suffering through it.

‘So you admit you’re unhappy.’ Malentine’s voice echoes in her head.

‘It doesn’t matter.’

‘It matters to me. Go to your mate.’ The dragon demands.

‘I don’t have a mate.’ Mating is a dragon thing.

‘You know what I meant.’

Dain. Her dragon wants her to find Dain. ‘Dain isn’t my anything anymore.’ He was her lover, her best friend, her everything. But this place ruined all of that.

‘You are each other’s responsibility.’

‘Just because you and Cath are mates does not mean-’

‘You are dense, girl?’ Malentine’s voice rumbles through her. ‘We are mated because we are bonded to you imbeciles.’

‘I don’t- I’m sorry.’

It is unheard of for dragons to become mates based on their riders…entanglements.

‘You spend your days yearning for him. He spends his days yearning for you. Subjecting Cath and I to your nonsense. Go. To. Him.’

‘I can’t.’

Dain kissed her in front of everyone after she bonded Malentine. Immediately regretting the forsaking of his precious rules and regulations. Swearing to never display affection for her again.

Dain doesn’t want her anymore.

‘Yes he does!’ Malentine scolds, ‘if you were prisoner to his inner monologue, you would know that.’

Y/N sighs. Cath can speak to her through the bond. He just chooses not to.

‘The human loves you. What he’s done is eating anyway at him and he did not mean it. He is sorry, he is-‘

‘I want to hear it from him.’ Y/N decides. ‘Tell Cath to tell Dain that if he wants me, he’ll have to do his own groveling.’

‘Very well.’

————————————————————————

Another week passes without so much as a word between them.

Y/N climbs into bed, waiting for sleep to find her. Only it doesn’t, something else does. A molten wave of desire unfurls in her belly.

She lets out an involuntary groan. Screwing her eyes shut tight and willing it away.

‘Mal?’ She calls through the bond, holding her breath through a beat of silence before trying a second time. ‘Malentine?’

‘Not now, human.’ Cath’s voice finds her instead. ‘Go find your mate.’

‘I don’t have a mate!’ She shoots back, but the proverbial door is closed. She needs Dain.

Against her better judgment, Y/N changes back into her training gear. Abandoning her nightgown and opening the door to the hallway.

Dain has found her. Standing in the doorway, panting.

“Dain?” It takes everything in her not to sob in relief.

“Do you feel it?” He backs her into the room, kicking the door closed behind him.

Y/N nods, lips parting at the sight of him.

“We need to talk.”

Again she nods.

“And we are gonna talk,” he promises, cupping her face in his hands. No matter how badly every fiber of his being screams to be inside her.

“Why? So you can throw me away again to maintain your stupid rank?” Y/N spits, ignoring the ache in her chest. And even more pressing, the throb between her legs.

“For my rank?” Dain’s scoff is more of a sob. “Is that what you thought?”

“What else would possess you to hide me? To stay away from me?” Why else would you leave me?

“I was trying to protect you.” He says, “not to paint a larger target on your back. I thought…it doesn’t matter what I thought. I was wrong.”

Y/N swallows, hard. “What about the rules?”

“There’s no rules prohibiting this. It’s only frowned upon.” He’s sure of it.

“And you don’t care?” She challenges.

“I never cared. I thought you did.”

“Me?” Y/N rears back. “No.”

He huffs a tortured laugh, “I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah,” she nods, “you are.” So am I.

Dain nearly doubles over as a fresh wave of need washes over him.

Without warning, Y/N reaches for the closure of her pants, not bothering with her top. She’s done being an idiot.

Their clothing falls to the wayside in their haste. The pair of them tumble onto the mattress.

Y/N’s thighs part for him, instinctively.

His hand cups her sex between them, ensuring she is ready for him. The way he always does. “Do you have any idea how much a rider has to love another for their dragons to mate?” He marvels, sliding his length easily into her wetness.

Y/N hisses at the delicious stretch, it’s been a while. Too long. “As much as I love you.”

Dain drops his head to the crook of her shoulder as he begins moving within her. “I dreamed about this. About you. How I would make it up to you for every night we spent apart.”

“Dain.”

“I can’t stay away from you.” He admits. Not now, not after this.

“Then don’t, please, don’t.” Y/N insists. “Kiss me in the quad and the courtyard. On the mat after you pin me. Kiss me on the flight field. Kiss me anytime you want. Marry me after graduation. Stay with me forever.”

Dain nods. “I’ll ask you the right way, with a ring and everything. I want…gods, I’d marry you right now. I would’ve done it before I left.”

His thrusts are fast, desperate. Pressing kisses to the side of her face as it contorts in pleasure.

Y/N can only whine in agreement, her mind too far gone.

“I almost dropped to my knees when I saw you make it across the parapet.” Dain goes on anyway. “You are so strong. I love you so much. More than anything.”

Her fingers tangle in his hair, moving his mouth to hers. “I love you, Dain.”

The familiar flutter of her inner walls tells him she’s close. “Can you cum like this or do you need more?” His fingers on her pretty little clit.

“I want more but…I don’t know if I can take it.” She’ll surely combust with the inferno boiling in her veins.

“I’ll be gentle.” He promises, snaking a hand between them.

Y/N wails at the delicate brush of his fingers. Arching toward him, helplessly.

“That’s it,” he circles the bundle of nerves so sweetly. Never letting up on the pace of his thrusts.

“I’m-” Cumming. So fucking hard she stops breathing all together.

“Good job, baby.” Dain fucks her through it, “I can feel you. That’s perfect, sweetheart. I missed you so much.”

“Fuck!” She’s still cumming, unable to come down from her high.

Malentine and Cath are going to kill them.

Dain pulls out, spilling his release over her thighs and lower belly. A practice they’d adopted the first time they made love. An unnecessary precaution.

Y/N pouts up at him. “I need it inside.”

Dain is still rock fucking hard, he flips her onto her stomach. Pulling her ass high in the air.

Her back arches, presenting her throbbing need to him.

“Let’s get you full, yeah?” He coos, caressing the soft globes of her ass.

“Please, Dain. Please.”

“Shhhh,” he hushes her, burying himself to the hilt. “I’m going to give you everything you want. Everything you need. You’re mine. Everyone will know it.”

“Yes,” she cries, fisting her hands in the pillow as he presses deeper. “Yes.”

“You’re mine.” He says, a second time, “mine to protect, mine to train, mine to fuck. Mine to love.”

“Holy fuck, Dain.” She clutches the fabric harder. There’s nowhere to go. Nothing to do but cry out for him as he bullies that sacred spot within her until she sees stars.

Y/N screams her second release.

“Breathe, sweet girl.” Dain does not slow, propelling her toward the next.

“I can’t.”

He chuckles, a bit breathless himself. “You can, I promise.”

To her credit, she does try.

“Will you show me what’s in that pretty head of yours?”

She takes the hand closest to her head, pressing it to her temple. Granting him permission.

He climaxes a second time at the glimpse into her mind. Memories of him and her. Both of them together, the way they are always meant to be.

Y/N wriggles her hips, “I need-”

Dain pulls out, dropping to the mattress on his back and moving her over him. Now straddling his hips, “take what you need.”

She rises up, positioning his cock and sinking down. He feels impossibly large this way. Y/N tosses her head back, realizing that in the haze of lust she’s hardly kissed him. She bends forward, sealing her lips over his. But it’s nothing more than a sloppy exchange of teeth and tongue. She lets out a disgruntled huff. Unable to fuck him the way she needs to fuck him and kiss him at the same time.

“It’s ok, baby.” Dain understands, helping guide her hips to a greedy rhythm.

“I want to kiss you.” I want to kiss the love of my life.

“Here.” Dain repositions them so he’s sitting with his back against the headboard, Y/N still in his lap. Their noses brush with each cant of her hips. “Kiss me.”

She does, pressing her lips to his desperately as she climaxes again. It’s not enough, she wants more, needs it like air to breathe. And this…if it was a lot before, it is officially too much. The need is only intensifying. “I don’t know what to do.” Y/N says, in defeat.

“Just fuck me, that’s all you have to do. I’ll make it better.” Dain murmurs against her lips, though he himself is not entirely sure how. “I’m right here.”

She clings to him, sobbing her release into his neck, unable to stop.

“You’re doing a good job.” He cradles the back of her head as she resigns herself to whimpering against him. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I meant every word I said, you know that?”

She nods, allowing his free hand to slow her movements to a steady churn. Forsaking the ravenous pace, though the need does not subside. Harder. Faster. More. “I can’t cum anymore and I can’t stop.” The coil in her belly tightens again.

“Oh, baby.” He gentles her, “I’m sorry.” She feels like heaven around him, her walls constricting with her impending release. “Cath and Mal have to come up for air sometime.” Dain reasons.

“Does this happen a lot?”

“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out.”

Y/N nods. It’s going to be a long night.

you just looked at it all on your phone when you missed those certain moments. but jack thought you should get to properly look at them, and not just through your phone screen.

"sweetie, can i borrow your phone for a minute?" jack called out while you were in the bathroom, brushing your teeth.

"yup!" you mumbled against your toothbrush as you continued to brush your teeth, jack punching in your wedding date when your phone asked for a pin code, going straight to photos and the album you'd titled rosey posey with a heart at the end.

jack made sure to select all the photos and videos, sending them to himself, before putting your phone back down on the nightstand.

"what'd you need my phone for?" you chuckled while you emerged from the bathroom, a smile on your face as you walked towards the bed, "don't tell me you wanted to play hay day again. if you screwed with my farm, we're not having sex for a week."

jack laughed, raising his hands in surrender, "i just sent myself some pictures of rose. you can check if you don't trust me."

"i trust you." you bent down to press a peck on your husband's lips, "but i'm still checking my farm."

on a special sunday, you woke up to the sight of your daughter trying to shake you awake, a wide grin on her lips.

"what's this about?" you laughed, "mama needs her beauty sleep."

"it's your day!" rose exclaimed, and as the door creaked, you saw jack walking in, carrying a tray in his hands, your daughter turning to him and your husband shooting her a wink before the two exclaimed 'happy mother's day!' together.

jack set the tray down next to you, displaying two cups of coffee and a glass of apple juice (because according to rose, apple beats orange.) and a pile of pancakes that could rival an actual mountain.

"you're too good for me." you chuckled softly, pressing a kiss on rose's forehead before pecking jack's lips.

"before you eat, you should see what rosie made at preschool." jack said, looking to your daughter.

rose grinned, holding up a pink piece of paper that was in the shape of a heart once it was opened, 'happy mama's day!' written in rose's shaky handwriting on one side of the heart, and the first picture you took together on the other.

"i love it!" you smiled widely, pulling rose closer to you, pressing kisses all over her face as you squeezed her.

"ewwww!" rose feigned a struggle while the same smile that was on your lips remained on hers, before you finally let her go and her eyes zeroed in on the pancakes and the three forks next to the plate, "can we eat now?"

after the three of you had eaten your breakfast, rose had gone back to the living room to watch winx club while working on her handwriting workbook, while you and jack stayed in the bedroom.

"now, it's time for me to give you my gift." jack grinned. "our daughter is downstairs, jack. she could hear us." you gasped dramatically, making your husband snort.

"nothing like that." jack pinched your side before winking, "maybe later, though."

jack opened the second drawer of his nightstand, pulling out a thick book that he placed in your lap. the cover had floral patterning, along with a picture of you and rose in the middle.

"what's... what's this?" you looked to jack.

"open it."

as you opened the book, you saw a picture of you and jack posing with a positive pregnancy test. you saw all the ultrasound images, all the weekly pictures you'd taken of your stomach as it started to grow. you even saw pictures of your strangest cravings, and the baby stuff you'd bought for rose.

you saw the first picture of you and rose, with you looking like a zombie and rosie wailing in your arms. you saw the picture of rosie walking as you held onto her. you saw the picture of you and rosie as you stood in front of her preschool.

there were plenty of pictures between them, capturing all the memories of you and rose.

"why are there so many empty pages?" you laughed softly, trying to flick through the blank pages of the book.

"that's for future milestones." jack leaned in, pressing an intense kiss on your lips that made your mind feel even more tangled, that lit you up the same way that the first kiss you shared with him had.

when he pulled back, jack brought his hand to your cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin there as you pressed your eyes closed, leaning into his touch.

"this might be a bad time to say this..." you opened your eyes and looked to jack, your hand going to your stomach, "but next year, you're going to have to make a second book."

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. . . step bro!langdon who became your step brother when you were twenty nine and he was thirty two. your mom found his dad on a seniors cruise and, well… love works in mysterious ways. you wouldn’t know much about it, working as a divorce attorney. they married quickly; the wedding is where you first meet frank. he looks much like his father with his squared jaw and thick eyebrows, bushes of black pushed together as he takes you in.

“well, i’ve always wanted a younger sibling.” his words don’t match his actions, his eyes gliding along your figure until finally he makes true eye contact.

you decide then and there that you don’t have much use for him.

“keep dreaming,” you mutter, fixing your clothing (so stiff, so formal, so uncomfortable) before heading off to look for your mom.

. . . step bro!langdon who you see every blue moon and ignore just as often. it’s not until you land yourself in the emergency room, the skin along your abdomen grossly warm and discolored, that you really talk to frank langdon. dizziness hits you like a brick to the head, forcing your head back as your eyes screw themselves shut.

“stay awake, stay with me,” a voice calls. a pair of hands shake your shoulders, which gets you to open your eyes. “can you stay awake for me?”

another hand, gloved, feels along your abdomen, causing you to wince. “any recent injuries? any allergies to any medications?” your eyes drift over to a woman with black hair, squinting. “any recent injuries?” she repeats.

“fell down some stairs, couple weeks ago,” you manage, your eyes closing again.

“hey, what’d i say— gotta stay awake.” when you open your eyes, you see him above you. frank langdon. your step brother… and now your doctor, apparently. one of them, anyways. you let out a groan, turning your head away.

“could be a ruptured hematoma,” the young woman says to frank, “no protruding, it’s not a hernia. not a pressure sore, either.”

frank nods, “alright, let’s get a room.”

. . . step bro!langdon who doesn’t explain to anyone else why you stare at him so much. he jokes that maybe you find him handsome; you groan again, as if pained. what? no one knows that you’re step-siblings, the two of you don’t even look alike. is it really a compromise of objectivity if you’re still mostly strangers? and anyways, it’s not their business.

. . . step bro!langdon who’s surprisingly protective of you. trinity wants to cut and so does garcia, as if cutting is all they know how to fucking do. frank is more partial to nonsurgical methods of treatment for you, and since he’s your doctor, that’s what they try first. he explains everything to you, though the words go in one ear and out the other. all you can focus on is his tone: gentle, firm, determined.

. . . step bro!langdon who you wake up to after… god, you can’t even remember half of what happened. but you wake up to frank looking over your charts, humming some alt rock tune under his breath as he reads. you shift, your hospital gown rustling against the bed.

“easy, easy,” he says, turning to you, “feeling better?” he has the nerve to lean onto the side of your bed, his head tilting as he looks at you. “don’t worry, i didn’t tell anyone we were—”

you cut him off, “i’d like to discuss my treatment, if you don’t mind.”

“’course,” langdon breathes out. he walks you through everything that happened, the anesthesia, the surgical draining (”i hate to give dr. garcia credit for anything, but… she made the right call with this.”). it’s been hours since you first came in, it’ll be hours before you’re discharged. “being the good brother that i am, i’ll be checking on you frequently. you’ll want for nothing, i promise,” he murmurs playfully, a smile along his lips.

. . . how he can act so casual with you is far beyond your understanding. you can tell he doesn’t really believe it, the whole brother thing. frank only says it to get under your skin now that you can’t avoid him. payback, maybe, for dismissing him at the wedding.

“so, what do you do for work?” he asks during one of his check ins, a cup of pudding in one hand and a spoon in the other.

“why do you ask?”

langdon shrugs. “mostly for a higher patient satisfaction score.” shame? he doesn’t know it. “but i’d also like to know you.” he peels back the lid of the pudding container.

your eyes hone in on the treat in his hands. “is that for me?”

he sticks the spoon in, swirling it around in the cup, teasing you with the sight of it. “maybe. gonna tell me what you do for a living?”

“i’m a divorce attorney,” you reply, “you know. for divorce.”

“very eloquently put,” frank chuckles, scooping a spoonful. he brings it to your mouth. “for a higher patient satisfaction score,” he explains, pressing the spoon against your lips.

you take the bite, knowing he’s lying.

. . . step bro!langdon who keeps tabs on you for the rest of your time in the ER. you watch as the student doctors take turns checking in on his behalf. he’s a clever fox, using them as monitors so he doesn’t have to hover around you.

. . . step bro!langdon who snags your phone number privately as you’re being discharged— pity, you tell yourself, he only got it out of pity. finally, after a lengthy discussion about medications and rest, a call asking for a ride from a friend (not from a boyfriend or girlfriend, frank notes), and several emails to clients apologizing and explaining your current situation, you manage to get back home and lay down.

. . . it’s hours later when the text comes through. half-awake, you reach for your phone, assuming the notification is a message from your mom.

“hey, just checking in on you. let me know when you’re awake. i can bring over some dinner.” and, in a follow up text, “just trying to be a good brother 😇"

oh. it’s just frank. you frown down at your screen. what the hell are you supposed to reply to that?

ok niche hc but frank seems like the type to use the angel emoji with evil/mischievous intent in his heart. he ONLY uses it when he intends to be annoying. had to sneak in trinity as a character SORRY i didn’t like her at first but now i get it. quite frankly the whole crew cld pass me around.

"Jesus, kid, would you just sit still?" Han grumbles, large, rough hands pushing your shoulders down so that you're forced firmly into his lap. "I can't see if you keep squirming around like that."

He doesn't really need to see, anyways, but you're sure some part of this fantasy of his relies on you being crammed into the cockpit of the Falcon. You're hours into a routine course that'll take days, one that's already inputted into the ship's navigational computers, so there's no real reason for Han to be stationed in the pilot's seat right now. Nevertheless, he's wrestling you still, his cock sheathed fully in your needy cunt.

"I'm trying to move!" You huff, your parted, full sex aching for sensation as Han's dick takes up space within. It's something, sure, but it's not nearly enough, only a teaser. "Han, please, you said all I had to do was ask!"

Han's become increasingly intolerant of you dancing around the subject of sex. He wants your mouth, the same one he calls cute and pretty to spew the filth that inhabits his brain, the stuff you're sure can only be found on porn sites with categories you've never heard of before. He'd demanded you 'speak your mind' earlier, which had resulted in you stuttering out a very raunchy, embarrassing demand for sex. Now you're here, wrestled into stillness in Han's lap, miles away from being pounded into the mattress like you'd wanted.

"Yeah, you asked." Han scoffs, his hands sliding down to your waist and anchoring you still, "You asked to have my dick. So here it is, you've got it. It's inside of you. Feel it?" He wiggles your hips for you, only aggravating your sensitive sex further as it begs for proper stimulation.

"Han," Your teeth are gritted, frustration and mortification joining to produce tears at your lash line, "Please don't do this to me. Please-? I did what you wanted me to do. I asked you."

“good girl.. you did so good telling me you felt achy again..”

“s’cause i know daddy can fix it..”

“that’s right, baby.. i always take care of my girl, don’t i?”

you just nodded against his shoulder, whining as he pulled out to the tip and slowly pushed back in, groaning at the feeling of your soft, gummy walls sucking him in and squeezing him tightly. you dropped your head back onto the pillow, softening your eyes and staring up at him so sweetly.

“am i makin’ you feel good, daddy?”

“yeah.. real good, sweetheart.. makin’ daddy feel so good..”

you leaned up to kiss him, open mouthed and almost desperate, whining into his mouth as he softly kissed you back. he smiled, pulling away only slightly to kiss at the corners of your mouth, then your cheeks, then your nose and then along your jaw.

“such a pretty girl.. so soft ‘n sweet for dad..”

you turned your face and nuzzled your head back into his neck, whining into his skin and shaking your head—making robby chuckle and huff out a laugh.

“my sweet little girl doesn’t know how to take a compliment? c’mon baby.. let me see that pretty face of yours..” robby cooed softly, hand cupping your chin as he peels you away from his skin and forcing you to look at him. he stills his hip movements for a second, before tilting his head and watching your face, waiting until you smiled and only then did he slowly thrust back into you again.

“there’s my sweet girl.. such a pretty smile, baby..”

“you think so?”

“of course i do, sweetheart.. gimme a kiss, baby..”

you leaned up, planting a soft kiss on his lips, before pulling back and smiling up at him again. robby keeps slowly pushing his cock inside you, tip hitting your cervix until he hears you sigh out, legs shaking around him.

“where d’you want me to cum, baby?”

“inside?” you mumble softly, voice soft and sickeningly sweet as you stare up at him, doe-eyed and innocent. robby’s hips stutters and he hisses through his teeth at your plea—and he can’t say no. he stills his hips, bottoming out inside you as he drops his head to your shoulder, grunting lowly as he spills himself inside you, exhaling softly when he finally pulls out. you both lay there for a moment, before he gets off you, letting you get up and pee. you quickly return to bed, snuggling up beside him and giggling as he kisses softly all over your face until you both drift off to sleep.

robby knows that if he gets greeted by the people next door tomorrow morning, he’s sure to get an earful about what they heard—but he couldn’t care less. he’ll just wait for you to leave the room and sling his arm around your shoulder, kissing your forehead and walking off to his truck. and ever the gentleman, he’ll open the passenger door and let you climb in before going round to the drivers side and getting in. he’ll pull out of the parking lot, one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh, letting you snuggle into his arm as you drive off to the next town. and every motel stay after that, you’re both constantly terrorising the neighbouring guests as the sounds of him pounding into your slick cunt and whines of dad dad dad falls from your lips.

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Three weeks later, Derek had zero matches.

Not a disappointing handful. Zero. 

You on the other hand, had not bothered to download any apps.

You hadn't really meant to make a statement with this. It had just been a busy three weeks. You'd finished a full sleeve on a regular, taken three new consultations, and rearranged the whole studio. There simply hadn't been time to curate a selection of photos for a profile.

This was what you told Trinity on Thursday night, sitting in the back room of your shop, eating takeout.

"You haven't downloaded any apps," Trinity said, around a mouthful of noodles, "because you don't actually want to do this."

"I've been busy."

"You know what you haven't done?" She pointed her fork at you. "Anything. You have done nothing. Derek is out there failing spectacularly at the thing he begged you for and you are pretending this is a scheduling issue."

"I just don't think apps are really my.."

"Y/N."

"..thing, I'm more of an organic.."

"Y/N."

"..meeting people naturally kind of.."

"Y/N."

You looked up.

Trinity had put down her fork, which was how you knew she was serious.  "You have been with Derek since you were twenty. You have never, as an adult, gone on a date with anyone who wasn't Derek. You don't know what you like because you stopped asking yourself that question before your prefrontal cortex finished developing."

You opened your mouth.

"I love you," Trinity continued. "Derek is someone you have outgrown. You know it and I know it and I think somewhere in the part of him that isn't currently refreshing Hinge, he knows it too. This open relationship thing isn't evolution."

The shop was quiet around you. The flash art on the walls looked down from their frames.

"So," Trinity picked her fork back up. "Saturday. You and me. Roomie Dennis is meeting us at Dillon's at nine. You're going to put on something that isn't a work hoodie, you're going to go to a bar like a normal adult woman, and you are going to at least look at other human men and remember that they exist."

"I know men exist."

You thought about saying something. Several things, actually, arranged in a pretty solid argument about how you were fine, how the situation was fine, how you didn't need to go to a bar to prove you were a person. "Fine," you said.

"Saturday. Nine o'clock. Wear the black top." 

…

Dillon's was a bar that had been there forever. Dark wood, low lighting, a jukebox in the corner that still worked if you fed it right, and a bartender named Pete who remembered what you ordered after the second visit. It smelled like old leather and something hoppy and wasn't trying to be anything other than exactly what it was.

You had been here maybe a hundred times. You had never once come here with the intention of meeting someone.

"You look like you're waiting for a root canal." Dennis said, appearing with a fresh drink and an easy grin. Dennis was beautiful and knew it. But he used it as a resource for other people rather than a mirror for himself. He handed you the drink. "Relax. You're not here to find a husband. You're here to remember you are your own person."

"Trinity's been talking to you."

"Trinity texts me a lot of things." He clinked his glass against yours. "Drink. Look around. Remember that the world is full of people who aren't Derek."

You drank. The world was, in fact, full of people who weren't Derek. You weren't sure what to do with that.

The three of you had claimed a corner of the bar around nine, and for a while it was just good.  Trinity in her off duty clothes looking like someone had cut her loose and handed her a gin and tonic, Dennis telling a story about their neighbor's emotional support peacock that had genuinely no business being as long as it was, you laughing until something in your chest loosened a little. 

This was fine. 

Then, around eleven, Trinity met someone.

She was tall, with close cropped hair and had cheekbones that belonged in a museum, and she was looking at Trinity from three feet away like she had already made several decisions about the rest of their night. Trinity looked back. Something passed between them that was frankly none of your business.

"Go," you said.

"I'm not going to just leave you."

"Trinity." You pointed. "Go."

She did pause long enough to squeeze your arm and say "text me when you're home" and then she was gone, absorbed into the low light of the bar with the tall woman.

Dennis lasted another twenty minutes before he ran into someone he knew from his climbing gym, and then there were two of them, and then there were four, and then there was a whole situation happening at the other end of the bar that Dennis was at the center of like he always was, like a very charming sun with a small solar system of people around him.

You were alone at a bar for the first time in approximately a decade, with a drink that was three quarters gone and no particular plan for the next hour of your life.

You thought about going home. Derek would be awake, probably on his phone. You thought about what Trinity had said and the ten years that had quietly passed while you were busy building a life that was genuinely yours in every way except the one that mattered most.

You went to the bar top and ordered another drink.

"That's either a good sign or a bad one," said a voice to your left, "depending on what you're drinking."

The man settled onto the barstool next to you. He was older than you, late forties maybe, with salt and pepper hair that looked like it had started the evening neater than this.

He nodded at your glass. "Whiskey sour?"

"Whiskey sour" you confirmed.

"Good sign then." He caught the bartenders attention. "I'll have whatever she's having."

You should have looked back at your drink. That would have been the sensible thing. Instead you said, "Long night?"

He glanced at you, and there was something in it. A brief recalibration, like he'd expected to be left alone and had just revised his preference. "Long week," he said. "You?"

"Long decade, honestly."

The corner of his mouth moved. "That specific?"

"Very."

Once his drink came, he turned it once on the bar, a slow rotation. You noticed his hands. Large, careful, the hands of someone who used them precisely. You noticed other things too, cataloguing details. The slight wear at the collar of his shirt. The way he held himself, upright without being rigid, comfortable in his body.

"Jack," he said, and offered his hand.

"Y/N," you said, and shook it.

His grip was warm and brief. "So," he said, settling back. "The decade."

"I wasn't actually going to elaborate on that."

You looked at him. He looked back at you, and there it was the thing you hadn't been expecting, the thing that made you stay on your barstool instead of picking up your drink and relocating. He had the kind of eyes that were paying attention. Not performing attention. Actually, specifically, interested in you.

It had been a long time since someone had looked at you like you were something worth figuring out.

"Ten years with someone," you said, because apparently you were doing this. "We opened the relationship three weeks ago. His idea. He has zero matches thus far."

Jack considered this. "And you?”

"Didn’t download them. Instead, I cleaned my autoclave more times than necessary. If that gives you any indication of how I’m handling it."

Then the smile arrived "You're a surgeon?"

"Tattoo artist."

Something shifted in his expression, interest sharpening. His eyes moved briefly to your arms, to the ink there, the way people's eyes always did, and then back to your face, and unlike most people he didn't immediately start asking you what they meant or whether they hurt. 

"What do you do?" you asked.

"ER attending." He paused. "And some other stuff."

"Some other stuff," you repeated.

"SWAT medic shifts. When I'm needed."

No shit. You looked at him for a moment. His strong muscles pulling at his shirt. "So.. long week."

You talked for three hours.

Not continuously but always back to each other, always the thread of it intact. He told you about his army medic deployment without making it a hero story, just a thing that had happened to him that had made him who he was. You told him about opening your studio at twenty four with nine thousand dollars and a business plan you'd written on graph paper. He asked you questions like he actually wanted the answers. 

At some point you stopped thinking about the open relationship and Derek. You stopped thinking about going home. You were just here, at this bar, on this barstool, talking to this man who laughed at your jokes and it felt like something you hadn't known you'd been hungry for.

Which was exactly why, at half past one, when the bar was thinning out and the jukebox had cycled back around to something slow, you picked up your jacket. "I should go."

He didn't argue, just nodded in agreement. "Yeah."

You slid off the barstool and he stood when you did, the reflex of someone who'd been raised a certain way and hadn't bothered to unlearn it and you were suddenly aware of how much space he occupied when he was standing. How solid he was.

How close.

"It was good to meet you, Jack," you said.

"You too, Y/N."

You waited for him to ask for your number, but he didn't. He just looked at you with those eyes, easy and steady, and said "Don't forget my name."

You thought about saying something smart. Something that matched it.

Instead you just nodded, once, and walked out into the night air with your heart doing something complicated in your chest that you absolutely were not going to examine until you were home.

..

Your favorite coffee shop was four blocks from your shop, which meant you went there approximately every day and had therefore developed a loyalty that was less about the coffee and more about the fact that the barista at the counter knew your order.

Tuesday morning. Six days after the bar and you were waiting for your order, scrolling through a client's reference photos on your phone with one hand and thinking about how to translate a very detailed Japanese woodblock print into something that would read well on a shoulder, when someone stepped up to the counter beside you.

"Medium dark roast. Black."

Every single hair on your arms stood up. You looked up slowly, hoping very much to be wrong about what you were about to see.

Jack Abbot was standing inches away from you in what appeared to be post shift clothes. Dark pants, a grey fitted shirt with the sleeves pushed up. His hair was slightly disheveled. There was a tiredness around his eyes that hadn't been there at the bar.

He looked good and that was deeply inconvenient.

He turned and his eyes landed on you and did the same thing yours had just done. A half second of processing and then something that settled into warmth.

"Tattoo artist," he said.

"ER attending," you said back. 

The corner of his mouth moved the way it had at the bar, that almost smile. "Small city."

"Very small, apparently."

The barista set your coffee on the counter. You picked it up and held it with both hands and tried to look like a normal person.

"How's apps going for the boyfriend?" he asked.

"Still nothing."

"And you?"

"Nope." you said. Holding your tongue back from saying and it might have something to do with you. This person standing in front of me that I can’t seem to stop thinking about. 

He laughed and you couldn't stop yourself from enjoying it. Didn't want to.

His order came up. He took it, and for a moment you were both just standing there in the morning light of the coffee shop with your respective drinks, and it should have been awkward, but it wasn't. 

"How's the composition coming?" he asked.

You blinked. "What?"

"The shoulder piece. You were looking at reference photos." He nodded at your phone. 

You stared at him. "You could see that from over there?"

"I have good eyes." He looked down at his cup and smiled. "And..I was looking."

There it was again. That quality of attention. He'd just been looking, so he said so. Straightforward. 

"The reference is very detailed. Too much for the placement. I need to pull out what matters and let the rest go."

You were embarrassed then. By how much you were talking, but with him it felt easy. Felt like he wanted to hear it. 

"I have to get back," you said.

"Me too. Just got off a shift and my bed is calling my name. " He lifted his cup briefly. "Good to see you, Y/N."

"You too, Jack."

You made it exactly half a block before you stopped on the sidewalk in the thin morning sun and pressed your free hand briefly over your face and stood there for a moment, just breathing.

…

You didn't tell Trinity.

This was not a decision you made consciously. It was more that every time you opened your mouth to bring it up you got as far as so a weird thing happened and then something stopped you.

You couldn't name what the something was. Which was its own kind of answer, probably.

Derek had finally gotten a match on Hinge. He told you about it over Thai food from a spot he'd found near his office. He was nervous in the way he got when he wanted your permission for something and was working up to asking for it, and you gave it before he got there because it was easier and because part of you was simply, unexpectedly, relieved.

He went on the date on Friday. You worked late, finished a geometric back piece on a client who fell asleep halfway through.

You pulled out your phone. Derek had texted a photo from what appeared to be a rooftop bar, his arm around a woman with a bright smile, the caption reading she's really cool! Hope your night is good. 

...

You were between clients on a Thursday afternoon when the bell above your shop door announced someone.

This happened sometimes. The by appointment or by chance on the door was genuine. You believed in leaving room for the unplanned, for the person who walked past a window and felt something pull at them and followed it inside.

Some of your best work had come from chance clients. Your assistant, Bella,  handled walk ins on most days, did a quick consultation, got them on the books.

You were not prepared for the specific walk in that came through your door just now. 

Jack stepped inside and stopped. You'd designed the space with the same intention you brought to everything, It looked like a place that felt like home. People felt that when they walked in.

Jack felt it. You could see him feeling it, his eyes moving slowly around the room, taking it in.

Bella looked up from the front desk. Looked at him and then looked at you. 

"I've got it," you said.

She went back to her computer with the poorly concealed vibe of someone who was going to have questions. and lots of them.

You crossed the floor and stopped in front of him and waited for him to finish looking. His eyes landed on a woman's face in profile. One you'd drawn at twenty three. He looked at it for a long moment. "Yours?" he said.

"All of it's mine."

He nodded slowly. Then he looked at you "I was in the neighborhood." he said.

You looked at him and quirked a brow. "You were in the neighborhood?"

"Broadly speaking."

"The hospital is eleven blocks away."

"It's a big neighborhood." Not even a flicker of embarrassment. "I wanted to see your shop."

You stood there for a moment looking at this man who had walked eleven blocks out of his way on a Thursday afternoon and was telling you so without any apparent intention of making it smaller than it was.

Something in your chest made the decision your brain was still debating. "Let me show you around."

He asked questions that showed he'd already been thinking. About the difference between styles, about how you decided what went on the walls versus what stayed in your portfolio, about whether the design process started with the client or with you.

You answered them. All of them. More than you usually did.

He stopped at your station and studied it. "Organized," he said.

"Everything has a place."

"Same in an ER." He looked at the tray. "You have to be able to reach what you need without looking."

"Exactly." You paused. "Although my tools are slightly less.."

"High stakes?"

"I was going to say scary, but sure."

He laughed and you walked him back to the front and he stopped at the door and you were close enough that you were suddenly aware of the particular gravity of him, the way a room organized itself slightly around where he was standing.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a card and then turned it over and wrote ten digits on the back and he held it out. "In case you need it." he said. "For anything."

You looked at the number and smiled. “Anything?”

The almost smile arrived fully this time, unhurried and genuine and just slightly devastating. "Anything."

The bell above the door announced his exit and you stood at the front of your shop turning the card over and over in your hand.

Bella appeared from the back. "Who," she said, "was that."

"Just a walk in.” you help the card up to your lips, tapping it against the smile that refused to go away.

…

It happened on a Wednesday, which felt wrong somehow. Momentous things should happen on weekends, or at least on a Friday when the week had built to something. Wednesday was for grocery runs and laundry.

And yet.

It started with a broken pipe.

Your upstairs neighbor had a pipe situation at seven in the evening that became a ceiling situation in your apartment at seven fifteen, which became a you cannot stay here tonight situation by seven thirty when the super looked at the spreading water stain above your bedroom, calculating how much this was going to cost him personally.

Derek was in Portland.

This was the other thing that had happened, quietly, over the past two weeks. Derek had matched with the rooftop bar woman, whose name was Sienna, and Sienna lived in Portland, and Derek had mentioned a visit, informing you of a decision already made. You had said have fun and meant it, or at least a part of you had meant it, and now he was in Portland and you were standing in your hallway with a go bag and nowhere obvious to go.

Trinity was on a double shift. You knew this without checking because Trinity's schedule was a fixed star in your sky, reliable and brutal. And plus she and Dennis didn’t have that much room to start with and you felt like a burden.

You sat in your car outside your building for ten minutes, bag in the passenger seat, and considered your options. You took the card out of your wallet. You had looked at it more times than you were going to admit to anyone, including yourself.

Without thinking too hard about it you said a simple fuck it and you called him.

He picked up on the second ring. "Y/N."

Just your name. Like it fit naturally.

"Hi," you said. "I have a weird situation."

"Tell me."

When you finished there was a brief pause. "I have a guest room," he said. "It has a bed and a lamp and I think a spare toothbrush somewhere. It's not exciting but it's dry."

"Jack, I cant.."

"I’m off tonight and I was going to eat leftover soup and watch something forgettable on television," he said. "You'd be doing me a favor. I hate eating soup alone."

That got a laugh from you. You sat in your car in the dark and catalogued all the reasons this was a complicated idea. There were several. They were legitimate. You thought about the water stain and about Derek in Portland with Sienna, who seemed nice, genuinely.

"I like soup." you said finally.

"Then come over."

…

His apartment was on the fourth floor of a building that was older than it looked and better than it had any right to be. High ceilings, good bones, the comfort of a space that had been lived in deliberately. Books on actual shelves, not for decoration. A kitchen that showed evidence of real use. A couch that was deep and worn in exactly the right places.

It looked like him. Everything was where it was for a reason.

You stood in his entryway with your bag and felt suddenly like you were seeing something private.

"Soup's already on the stove," he said from the kitchen. "Chicken and rice. Hope that works."

"That's..yes." You set your bag down. "You actually made soup."

"I said I had leftover soup."

"I thought that was a.." you stopped. "Never mind."

He appeared in the kitchen doorway with a dish towel over one shoulder, looking at you. "Why would that be a figure of speech?"

"People say things they don't mean."

"I don't."

He disappeared back into the kitchen, and you stood in his entryway another moment, holding that statement in the quiet.

You hung up your jacket and followed him in.

…

You ate at his kitchen table with an ease that should have required more history than you had. He told you about his recent shift. Some small victories. And you told him about the back piece you'd finished the week prior, the client who'd fallen asleep halfway through, the way people sometimes came in for ink and what they actually needed was to be still for a few hours while someone took care of them.

"That's most people," he said.

"The falling asleep part?"

"The needing someone to take care of them part." He turned his spoon once in his bowl. "People don't let themselves have that enough."

You thought about ten years of being the one who smoothed things over. Who held the shape of everything together so it didn't come apart. You thought about when the last time was that you had simply let someone take care of you.

You set your spoon down. Looked at the table for a moment, then back at him. "I want to stay tonight," you said. "Not the guest room."

His expression shifted slightly, but he didn't say anything yet, just waited, because he could tell you weren't finished.

"I'm still with Derek," you continued, keeping your voice even. "The arrangement is..we're open, that's real, I'm allowed to do this. But I need you to know that's what this is. I'm not..I can't offer you more than tonight. I don't want you to think this is something it isn't."

You held his gaze while you said it because you'd made this decision and you weren't going to look away from it now.

Understanding arrived and something careful behind it. "I'm not asking you for more than tonight," he said quietly. Then, after a second, softer, "But I want you to be sure."

"I'm sure."

He looked at you for one more moment. "Okay," he said.

…

He was unhurried in a way. Like a deliberate kindness, even as he pinned your wrists above your head with one hand.

He shifted his weight, his limb unbuckled and cast aside on the floor, leaving him balanced over you. He moved with practiced strength, using his leg to help brace his torso as he loomed over you. "You've been looking at me like you're afraid I'll break," he rasped, his voice dropping low that made your toes curl. "Stop thinking. Just feel how much I want you."

He asked without asking. It wasn't in words, but in the way he moved. He reached down, his fingers slicking through your folds.

"You're so fucking wet for me," he murmured, a smirk playing on his lips when he heard your breath hitch. "Tell me you want it. Tell me you want me inside you."

You tried to say something, a nervous joke to break the mounting intensity, but it came out as a desperate whimper. He laughed and the sound of it against your skin made the air feel safe in a way you hadn't known you needed.

"Good girl." he whispered, the praise hitting harder than the touch. "Stay right there. Don't move a muscle for me."

The sheer size of him felt like a promise kept. He positioned himself at your entrance and he paused for a heartbeat, watching your face, before he drove home in one devastating motion.

You couldn’t help your back arching off the sheets as he filled you to the absolute limit. It wasn't a sharp spike. It was a swell, an all encompassing heat that filled every hollow place you’d been hiding.

His rhythm was a punishingly beautiful cadence. Because of his reach, he leaned heavily into you, his chest crushed against yours, his skin slick with sweat. He pulled nearly all the way out before sinking back in, each stroke hitting deeper, harder, grinding his hips against yours until you were sobbing his name.

"I’ve got you," his hand leaving your wrists to cup your face, forcing you to look at him while he wrecked you. "Take it. Take all of it."

Your walls clamped down around him, the friction becoming unbearable. He didn't speed up. He simply pushed harder, his movements becoming more urgent. The tension finally snapped, shattering into a thousand points of warmth. You shook beneath him and he followed you a second later, a groan escaping him as he buried himself to the hilt.

✦ jack abbot and samira mohan, your boyfriend and girlfriend who happen to do the same things, just… differently? it’s definitely subtle, but you’ve started to notice the similarities in how they treat and speak to you. for example:

✦ “hey, sexy”. a simple greeting, right? from samira’s lips, it’s playful, almost coy; she’ll smile and nudge your shoulder as she murmurs it, her gaze meeting yours in a manner that’s downright flirtatious. mohan’s flirtations are usually lively, so it’s not surprising for it to sound so lighthearted from her. from jack, on the other hand, it’s low and smooth, a sign that he’s already in the mood. it’s less flirtation and more of a warning as he wraps his arms around your waist and begins kissing at your jaw. “hey, sexy” from abbot always leads to the bedroom.

✦ kisses in the morning. it’s the first thing they do each and every day. samira says she likes to “start the day off right”. if you asked jack about it, he’d probably just get playfully defensive (“what, i’m not allowed to kiss you in the morning? is my morning breath too much for you, sweetheart?”). if you’re not immediately close to them, they simply find you, wandering half-asleep around your place until they spot you. of course, when you’re not home, the routine is interrupted, much to their dismay.

✦ dressing you. not fully, typically, unless you ask for that. it’s subtle; abbot helping you into your shoes or coat, mohan working on the clasp of a necklace or adjusting your shirt and pants so that they look nice. it’s nothing to them, a minor manner of affection. some days, you’ll have samira fussing with your shirt in the bedroom just for jack to slide your shoes on your feet as you head for the door. in another life, they’d be your househusband and wife.

✦ collapsing on you in the evenings. mohan always beelines towards you as soon as she’s inside, groaning dramatically and nuzzling into your neck while whining playfully about missing you. jack’s slightly more put together, taking off his coat and settling in before coming over and peppering you in kisses. sometimes samira will quite literally put all of her weight on you, letting you catch her or hold her. a princess deserves to be pampered after such a long and stressful shift, after all. she’s usually more mature, but with you, she lets herself be childish.

✦ hand holding. mohabbot + handholding = well, yes! they both love holding your hands, filling the valleys between your fingers with their own and brushing over your knuckles with their thumbs. they’ll bring your hand to their lips and smile as they kiss your skin. the kiss can mean anything: a promise, a tease, a silent declaration of love. samira and jack both initiate pretty casually, nudging your pinkie with theirs and seeing if you’re in the mood or not before backing off or fully holding your hand.

cutest tootsits… thank u mohabbot / 💌 anon for requesting more of them. they’re such a bisexual dream ugh i love it.

Doctors always make the worst patients. 

There’s no question about it. They’re certain they know best, they’re reluctant to accept help, and most of all, they’re clueless. 

Seriously, you once treated a doctor who had persistent panic attacks when confronted by her surgical attending. She swore up and down that there was no anxiety there. That it was just an illness that spontaneously consumed her each time she saw the older woman. 

It wasn’t until she finally projectile vomited all over said attending that she agreed that maybe she had a little anxiety. 

Unfortunately, Jack Abbot wasn’t much better. 

For starters, he was always at least twenty minutes early no matter how insistent you were that he didn’t need to be. 

And when your previous client, a young male resident from plastics, leaves your office, Jack stands. He starts for your room before you’ve invited him. He’s shoulder-checking the other man like this means something. 

“Good morning, Dr. Abbot.” You shut the door behind him. He never takes his seat before you do. 

“How many times are you going to make me ask before you stop calling me that?” He raises his eyebrows in an annoyingly-handsome fashion.

You take your seat in your large arm chair, and he sits on the loveseat across from you. He’s not in his scrubs today. Actually, you’ve only ever seen him in those once, and it was when he used one of his scarce breaks to swing by your office and reschedule with you after getting called in for a double.

Apparently, wearing scrubs makes him cranky. According to him and him only.

So, he’s usually dressed like this-- denim jeans and a plain-colored tee. Today, it’s a dark grey. 

“I like the lighting in here today,” he comments as you drag a sip of your coffee. “It’s nice. Brighter than usual.”

You hum, nodding as you set the paper to-go cup back on your table. 

“Thank you! I like it, too. I can’t have the windows open for privacy since we’re on the first floor, but I got these fancy new one-way glass filters that let the light in,” you share.

Some therapists may not feel comfortable engaging in such conversational topics with their clients, but it’s the only method you find Jack responds to. If you come at him too clinically, he responds equally as professional, and then nobody gets anywhere in your hour sessions. 

“It looks nice. When did you have time to do that?” He shifts his gaze from the window to you. 

Jack Abbot likes to stare. 

“I did it yesterday evening,” you reply, adjusting your posture again. “The sun was long-gone by then which made it feel a little silly. This morning, though… it looked beautiful. I feel like I need some plants in here now or something.”

He chuckles, nodding as his eyes sweep over the room for what must be the hundredth time. It’s a result of his military background. Always so observant, so cautious of what may lurk in the shadows. 

You’ve had around ten weekly sessions with him so far, and he’s made huge progress in his ability to be vulnerable with you. Still, you often find yourself tip-toeing around his thoughts until midway. Today, you’re determined to ease back on the chit chat and get into him sooner. 

“You did a good job on it.” He nods in approval. 

“Well, thank you. So, wh-”

He’s never interrupted you before. 

“When did you do it?” He cocks his head like he’s examining you closely, ready to note any minute facial expression you may make. 

You frown, leaning back slightly against the plush cushion. 

“What? My window?” You grab your coffee again, sipping while he nods once more. You’re certain you already answered this question. 

“You consulted on a patient in the ER this morning at 1:42 a.m.,” he says it as if it’s an explanation. Your mouth pops open, eyes widening at his pinpoint accuracy. Before you can comment on the inappropriateness of his topic, he starts again. “Don’t tell me you came back up here after an ER rotation to put up a window film. Is that why you’re so tired? You’re pulling a double?”

His astute observations shouldn’t surprise you anymore. Yet, Jack always finds a way to shock you with just how much he sees. 

“This isn’t an appropriate conversation,” you reply. 

“Sure it is. We’re both doctors. But I don’t need four cups of coffee before 10 a.m. to function on a normal day, and usually you don’t, either.” His head nods to your small trash bin that yes has three travel cups of coffee from the hospital stand. The fourth is currently in your hands. 

“If you don’t make your point, Dr. Abbot, I’m going to have to insist that we move away from this conversation.” Each time you try to be firm with him, it earns you nothing but the sight of that smug grin on his face. 

It’s hard not to let your gaze linger as he hooks an arm across the backboard of your sofa. 

“You just work a lot, I’ve noticed.” Is his final remark on the matter. “You’re young, it takes a lot out of a person.”

“Speaking of work,” you segue in the most unsubtle way, “how have you been doing with the fewer shifts?”

“It’s a lot of time to fill.” His voice is even as always. He never waivers. 

You nod, humming, waiting for him to continue. He doesnt. He almost never does. 

“How are you filling it?” You prompt. 

You miss the boyish gleam in his eyes when you ask it. 

“Not much. I added another workout in. Take my dog for an extra walk. I’ve tried sitting down to read a book, but I can’t focus. I’m thinking about what’s going on here the whole time I’m at home,” he finally confesses. 

“‘Here’ meaning the emergency department?” You clarify. If he meant here as in here, with you, that would complicate things. 

“Right.” The lie falls easily. 

You nod, taking note. 

“Dr. Abbot, I’d like you to hear me out for a second here,” you start hesitantly, “but have you ever considered exploring more social avenues? I understand that you have other priorities, but meeting new people can be a really productive use of your time.”

“How?” You knew this would take some convincing. 

“Maybe you could invite a friend to workout. Join a pick-up basketball game? You could always go to a Pirates game and talk with the person next to you,” you suggest. 

A sour expression twists his face. It’s the most offended, perhaps, that you’ve ever seen him look. 

“A Pirates game?” He leans forward. “C’mon. Don’t tell me you think so lowly of me.”

Raising your eyebrows, you thumb the hem of your skirt. Jack Abbot is a charming motherfucker, and when he gets on these playful little tangents with you, it can be hard to remember where you stand. 

“Is the offense there the setting or the team?” You tilt your head and he mimics, tilting his to match. “Tread lightly, Dr. Abbot. Before this is a safe space, this is a Pirates sanctuary.”

Loudly, he laughs. 

“You can’t be serious. How can someone so intelligent be so wrong about something this important?” His eyes are wide and you see it then. 

That hint of something that you’ve only seen in them once before. Like his guard has fully collapsed and he’s letting you in to see a little glimpse of the man who lives locked away inside of him. 

It’s gone as soon as it came. 

“Yankees?” You guess, looking out the window filter. “Giants?”

“No and no. You’ve offended me three times now, sweetheart.” It falls from his lips so naturally that he doesn’t have time to stop it.

“Dr. Abbot--”

“Shit, I’m sorry.” The smile is wiped from both of your faces. A sobering wave crashes over the room as you both sit in silence for a moment. 

It was inappropriate. You shouldn’t continue professionally. Not when you’re this certain he has romantic feelings for you. 

Selfishly, immorally, you’ve grown a little attached to him. You’re not ready to let him go. You’ve been overlooking all the flirty comments and confessions to make this work. But this was undeniable. Indisputable.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says after a long silence. 

When you meet his eyes, he’s already looking at you. Those dark eyes are burning with such intensity that it makes your stomach twist. 

“How did you mean it?” Your clinical voice is in full effect now. The boundaries are unblurring. You’re drawing the line in the sand because you have to. 

“Not like that,” he replies. Frustration, clearly with himself, is evident in his tone. 

“Can you elaborate?” You push. It’s your job to push.

He inhales deeply. 

“It’s just a habit,” he lies. “It won’t happen again. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That was a complete violation of our boundaries, but it wasn’t meant to be.”

You take a moment to sit with it. First, you appreciate the communication. At the beginning of your time with Jack, you could barely get more than four words in a sentence, and now he’s much more expressive. 

Then, you contemplate how to proceed. You decide that you can talk it out, medical professional to medical professional. 

“I understand. Do you think it’s ethical to continue our therapist-client relationship? If not, I have plenty of incredibly talented colleagues who would be open to taking you on as a client.”

“I want to stay with you,” he replies, not too quickly. Still, your pulse quickens. “There’s no lines being crossed. It was just a slip of the tongue, really. I’m sorry.”

Nodding, you take another sip of your coffee. 

“Alright then, let’s get back to it. I believe you were talking about how much you love the Pirates?”

A howling laugh fills your office, and you know you’ve made the right decision for yourself. A selfish decision, one you’ll probably come to regret when you’re not right in front of the most handsome man you’ve ever seen while he enthusiastically berates the Pittsburgh Pirates. 

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