moved to greynovember111

“Rafe?” Your brows dropped in confusion as you looked up at him, his face shielded from the darkness of the hallway, the only illumination reaching his chest from the candles littered around your living room. “The hell are you doing here?” The two of you didn’t have the greatest history. Well, it was great...amazing at one point, until shit hit the fan and it was completely ruined.

“I don’t have anywhere else...I just need...” his words were all over the place, as was his mind. He didn’t look coordinated, as calm or collected as he usually was. His usually perfectly placed hair was now dishevelled, stray hairs framing the sides of his face. You liked it a lot more like that. The slicked back hair was too preppy for you. “Please, can I just stay here for tonight?”

Was he serious? After everything, he was just going to crawl back asking for a place to stay? Un-fucking-believable.

“Go home, Rafe,” was all you said before pushing the door shut. But before you could click the lock into place, Rafe’s hand came into contact with the door, his palm pushing it open again as he stepped forward. That’s when you saw the pleading in his eyes, tears threatening to fall. Rafe wasn’t much of a crier or an emotional person in general besides being fucking angry. So this was unexpected from him, and you didn’t particularly know what to do. So you let him in.

“Okay, come in quick before the neighbours shout at me for talking in the hall.” You ushered Rafe into your apartment, shutting the door swiftly behind him before securing the locks. Flicking the kitchen light on, you finally caught a glimpse of his face. His cut, bloodied, bruised face. And then his knuckles, torn and red. “Jesus, Rafe. What the fuck happened to you?” Your hand instinctively came up to his cheek as he leaned against the island counter in the kitchen, your fingertips lightly brushing over the contusions and blemishes that were starting to already rise on his skin.

“Its nothing, don’t worry abo-”

“Shit, well I’m obviously going to worry, aren’t I? Dipshit” You stated incredulously, staring at his face with a bewildered look plastered on your features. “You come knocking, bleeding on my floor and expect me not to worry?” Pulling out the stool stored away neatly under the island counter, you gesture for him to sit on it. Seeing the demanding look in your eyes, Rafe complies without question, sitting on the wooden stool with a low sigh. “Don’t move, I’ll get the medical kit.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Shut up. Rafe.”

By the time you returned, the small smirk from when you told him to shut up was still evident on Rafe’s face. He missed your ‘no-bullshit’ attitude. It was how you acted around everyone you met, your reasoning being that there was no point in beating around the bush to get to the point, you might as well state it as it was. People thought you came across as cold and bitchy, but it was actually what attracted Rafe to you. Knocking him down a peg or four was what made him realise he was in love with you.

He had seen you around the Outer Banks a few times, hanging out with JJ, John B, Kie and Pope at bonfire parties, attending Midsummers alone and spending the whole night talking to JJ as he barely fulfilled his role as a waiter. A few times he had tried to talk to you but without much luck. You often brushed him off, briefly apologising that you had to go meet up with a friend. It shouldn’t have bothered him, he had barely spoken to you and there were other girls who practically threw themselves at him. He could have fun with any girl he wanted, but for some reason, he couldn’t get you off his mind. Even Topper and Kelce noticed there was something off with him since he first saw you, teasing the shit out of him for having some girl on his mind. He ignored them, ignored their relentless comments. All he wanted to do was see you again.

The next time he saw you was at a party hosted by Topper. You had managed to drag the rest of the Pogues with you, promising free beer and a fun night. And what a fun night it was. JJ didn’t leave your side the whole night, dancing and drinking with you even when you told him to go mingle with other people. “Why would I do that when I’ve got you to party with?” He had said with his cheeky smile. Your friendship was entirely platonic, even though none of the Pogues believed that for one second. So when Rafe approached you, slightly drunker than you and entirely more obnoxious, you were not in the mood for it. Seven times you had tried to get rid of this guy. Seven times you had clearly failed.

“Why do you ignore me? A beautiful girl like you, a handsome guy like me? Put two and two together and its pretty clear what could happen.”

That was the first time you had slapped Rafe Cameron across the face. Hard. It left a mark on his face for days, the rings on your fingers cutting into his cheeks, causing red droplets to drip down his face. JJ stood behind you, prepared to defend you but could only let an entertained huff of laughter escape his lips as he watched Rafe’s shocked face come zipping right back to you.

“Say shit like that again, Cameron, and I won’t slap you in the face. I’ll kick you in the balls.” And with that, you turned on your heels, dragging a smirking JJ by the wrist and headed inside to grab more drinks.

No one had ever really slapped Rafe before. His charm was often enough to make a girl melt to the floor. But it had only drawn him closer to you when you slapped him. He was intrigued by you. And he wanted to know you better. So he left it a week before speaking to you again, completely by accident this time. You were down by the beach with your surfboard waiting on Kie to go surfing with you, sat in the sand and basking in the warm summers heat. Until your sunbathing was interrupted by someone calling your name. Shielding your eyes, you peered over at the male figure walking towards you, at first thinking it was John B wanting to join on your little surfing downtime. That was until you saw his face. That made you roll your eyes and lie back down, closing your eyes.

“Hey, look I wanted to-”

“You really don’t give up, do you?” You cut him off, eyes opening the tiniest bit, his form blocking the sun so you could see him. A somber look donning his features, the cockiness and smug look completely evaporated. “I thought that Topper’s party would have proved that I really don’t want to talk to you, Rafe.” He hated that he shivered at the way his name sounded rolling off your tongue.

“Look, I just wanted to apologise. I acted like a complete dick that night and it was out of line. I guess I was trying to build confidence to talk to you again because you seem like a really cool person who I could see hanging out with. Only if you wanted to obviously.” It was actually quite adorable watching him ramble like this, playing with his fingers as he looked at his shoes. During his apology, you had pushed yourself off the sand and brushed the grains from your body, a small smile pulling at the corners of your lips as he stumbled over some of his words. “But yeah, I just needed to say sorry for what I said. I shouldn’t have said it, it was stupid and disrespectful.” Finally, he took a breath and looked at you.

“Done?” You asked, crossing your arms as you looked up at him. He nodded silently. “Okay, well first of all, I never expected you to actually apologise for the shit you pulled. You don’t seem liekt he type of guy to admit to his actions.”

“Tough but fair.”

“But I kept turning you away because I thought that you just saw me as a girl you could use to have a good time. That’s all. I thought you just wanted to fuck or something, that’s why you were being nice to me.”

The whole time during your explanation, Rafe’s finally realised what had happened. As soon as you set foot in the Outer Banks, you had been warned of Rafe’s way with girls, his charm and cockiness, the over the top flirting that actually repulsed you. He never got a chance to introduce himself before the Pogues told you about him first. “That was never my intention. Ever. I wanted to get to know you as a friend. Yeah, you’re absolutely gorgeous, that’s impossible to miss. But I never spoke to you just to fuck you. Maybe ask you on a date or something, but never just for a fuck.”

A date?

“Oh,” you started, slowly beginning to feel a little dumb for pushing him away all these weeks. “That’s not what I expected you to say. Guess I should probably apologise for those scars then,” you gave a half-smile as your hand came up to his face, tracing over the red lines that had formed there. You felt him smile under your touch. You’d be lying to yourself if yous aid you didn’t find him attractive. I mean, look at him. So fucking handsome. And that smile. It could literally kill you, it was so fucking cute.

“No, I definitely deserved that,” he laughed, loving the feeling of your fingers on his skin. You laughed with him, reluctantly pulling your hand away from his face. He looked over your shoulder briefly, taking a sharp inhale as he noticed someone behind you. “Kiara’s calling for you.” You looked to where his eyes were focused, spotting Kie jogging down the beach, board under her arm as she waved to you from a distance. You waved back shouting “hey” before turning back to Rafe.

“I should probably get going. And, no, this isn’t me trying to get away from you again,” you joked, smiling at him, a smile which he returned.

“I hope not. I’d actually like to see you again. Intentionally this time.”

“Oh so this wasn’t just you stalking me to apologise?”

“Surprisingly no, I was just walking along the beach front to get a break from my family.” You couldn’t help but smile, his presence making you feel a lot more comfortable now. “So, what do you say?” Rafe asked, “do you want to hang out at some point? Maybe go out for a drink or something?”

“Rafe Cameron, are you asking me on a date?”

“Maybe. Would you say yes if I was?”

You bit your lip slightly, something that Rafe definitely noticed. “I would say yes. I’d love to go on a date with you.”

Two months later, you were dating. Two years later, you went through the worst break-up of your life. A month-long argument of Rafe’s drug addiction and behaviour when he was doing coke. He would never hurt you or touch you in any way that didn’t make you feel comfortable, but he changed a whole fucking lot from when you first started dating. And you hated that you still loved him afterwards. It had been four months since your split, and here he was, in your kitchen looking sorry for himself.

He stayed pretty quiet while you cleaned his cuts, only speaking to quietly murmur an apology for showing up out of the blue. Each apology you brushed off with a quick shushing noise. He sounded so broken, so vulnerable. It made you want to cry when he was like this, it was so unlike him. Something must have really affected him.

“So what are you doing here?” You asked him quietly, noticing out of the corner of your eye that his gaze drifted to your face, but you couldn’t meet his eyes. “Why didn’t you just go to Topper’s or Kelce’s?” You were secretly glad that here was here and not at either of their houses, he would probably just get shitfaced there and take advantage of the lines of coke most likely littering coffee tables.

“I didn’t want to see them right now. I wanted...I wanted to see you. I miss you.”

I miss you.

“Rafe, don’t-don’t say that,” you managed to speak, turning away to rinse the bloodsoaked rag. Facing the sink, you allowed your lip to tremble slightly. He missed you. You missed him. Of course you did. You loved him, even after all this time. You’d never stop loving him. You resented yourself for it.

You felt him come up behind you, his warmth seeping into your skin as he closed the gap between your bodies. He made no effort to push you against the sink, no effort to grab you and turn you around to face him. He just stood there, his fingers barely grazing your waist, but it felt as though his fingertips were burning into your skin. “But it’s true,” he whispered, his breath tickling your ear, sending shivers down your spine. Rafe left you enough space to turn easily between his body and the countertop, your body finally facing his.

“You know, JJ would kill you if he found out you were here.” JJ never really approved of your relationship with Rafe the entire time you were together, but since you were his best friend and he loved you like a sister, he never said anything bad against it. But when you ended things with Rafe, JJ was the first person to be there for you, to let you cry into his shoulder and get angry about the situation. He often sat there in silence when you didn’t feel like speaking.

“What JJ doesn’t know won’t hurt him. But he’s not coming here any time tonight, is he?”

“No, he’s having a bonfire at John B’s with the rest of the guys.”

“Why aren’t you there?”

You shrugged your shoulders, not really having a reason. You just wanted to be on your own for a little while. Needing the time to fully deal with everything by yourself. That was the plan until the root of your issues showed up at your doorstep.

“So I have to ask,” Rafe started, causing your eyebrows to raise. Rafe’s questions were often unpredictable and annoying. “What’s going on between you and JJ? You two a thing now or something?” Rolling your eyes, you lifted a finger and poked him in the cheek, directly over one of his cuts, causing him to wince in pain slightly and lean back.

“Nothing is going on. We’re just friends. Not that it’s any of your business, anyway.” your tone came out harsher than you expected. But Rafe remained silent, knowing he deserved it. He didn’t really have a right to ask, but the thought of you with someone else hurt him. He should have tried harder with you.

“You’re righ. It’s not,” Rafe admitted sadly, looking towards the floor. “I just...wish that I was better to you. That I treated you the way you deserved to be treated.”

“That’s the thing Rafe,” one of your hands cupped his cheek while the other gripped his jacket in your fingers. “You did treat me well you treated me perfectly. For the most part anyway. But when drugs came into your life, that’s when it all went to shit. I knew you still loved me, but that love was clouded by addiction.”

“I’ve stopped using. I knew-I knew how much it hurt you, and I wanted to stop so long ago. But it was so hard.” Rafe leaned down to rest his forehead against yours, exhaling shakily through his nose. “I just want to make it up to you. If I can.”

You processed this new information. “You’ve stopped using? For good?”

Rafe nodded quickly and eagerly back at you. Rafe had done a lot of things. But he had never lied to you. Not even the first time you confronted him about the cocaine you found in your bathroom.

Tilting your head up to Rafe, your noses bumped and you felt his breathing stop. “Of course I want to make up, Rafe. But I can’t go through that shit again.” Rafe nodded, understanding and agreeing with you. Never again would he put you through that kind of heartbreak again.

“Never again, baby,” he whispered before dipping his head and brushing his lips softly against yours. You melted into the kiss, realising how much you missed the feel of his lips on yours, his hands on your skin, his body against yours. He knew all the right places to touch you to make you break into breathy moans, all the right places to kiss to make your knees shake under his touch. But he held back, not wanting to overstep. Rafe was never a nervous person when it came to intimacy. He knew what he wanted. And what he wanted was to make you feel good. That was his goal. Everything else was irrelevant.

You tilted your head, deepening the kiss, silently encouraging Rafe that this was what you wanted. You wanted him to act the same every time he had previously been intimate with you. No holding back or hesitation. So Rafe took the hint and wasted no time. His tongue dragged across your bottom lip, begging for entry. You granted it to him almost immediately, letting his tongue explore your mouth expertly as it had done so many times in the past. This all felt so right, so normal. It was a feeling you had missed and craved for so long. Rafe’s hands glided down your waist to cup your ass, squeezing slightly to earn a small moan from you, your hands shifting to rest on the back of his neck. Your fingers tightened around the hair at the base of his neck as he lifted you up effortlessly and your legs naturally wrapped around his waist. Rafe never once broke the kiss as he walked to your bedroom, mentally recollecting where it was, opening the door with one hand as the other supported you and kicking it closed blindly behind him.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you so much, baby,” he mumbled against your lips, setting you gently down on the bed as his body hovered over you. “But if you don’t want this right now, just tell me and I’ll stop.”

You kissed him gently one more time, finding his nerves kind of adorable. “Rafe, of course I want this. It’s all I’ve wanted. Do you?” Rafe only nodded in response, his cute smile appearing so evidently on his face before his lips connected softly with your neck. He remembered all your soft spots all over your body, using them to his advantage. Slowly his lips travelled lower, pushing the oversized shirt up your body to rest above your breasts. You pulled the shirt up over your head, your back arching slightly to push your chest towards Rafe, and he took the opportunity to wrap his lips around one of your pert nipples, teeth grazing over the hardened bud. You tossed the shirt carelessly onto the floor, a whimper escaping your lips as he gave attention to the other breast while one of his hands drifted down your body to the hemline of your panties.

Rafe pulled away only for a few seconds to yank his own shirt over his head before carrying on leaving a trail of kisses down your body. Slowly, he dragged the tip of his tongue over your clothed pussy, your hips naturally rising towards his face, his nose briefly nudging deliciously against your clit. “So wet for me already, baby. I barely touched you.” The vibrations of his voice sent shockwaves through your cunt, an electric shiver coursing through your spine.

“Rafe, touch me. Please,” you managed to breathe out, feeling his fingers hook under your panties and pull them painfully slowly down your legs.

“God, I love it when you beg,” Rafe chuckled in a low baritone voice. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” And fuck, he did not disappoint. Rafe wasted no time in burying his face between your thighs, loving how they perfectly caged his head just where he wanted to stay. Licking a stripe through your soaked folds, he moaned at the taste of you, missing it, craving it. He ate you up like a man starved. Your hand found its way to his head, entangling in his blonde locks while your other hand gripped the bed sheets tightly. Your knuckles practically turning white as he found your clit almost instantly, sucking harshly on the bundle of nerves. He smiled against your pussy as you whined his name loudly, your hips shifting up to grind against his face.

He loved it when you used him like this, when you used him to pleasure yourself. All he wanted to do was please you, and from the noises coming from you, he was doing something right.

Rafe’s hands gripped your thighs tightly, his fingerprints no doubt bruising the skin for days to come. But you didn’t care. You wanted it to bruise. Wanted a reminder of his touches, his passion from this night for as long as possible. You could feel a coil tightening in your core, you were close, reaching the edge of bliss far faster with Rafe than the past four months of only your own fingers and toys to pleasure you. Rafe knew you were close, he could hear and feel the signs; your breathing hitched to short spurts for air, your head digging into the pillows, your grip on his hair tightening just enough to make his eyes roll to the back of his head. Your legs closed around the sides of his head, his ears pressing against the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs.

“Come on baby, cum for me,” he encouraged, thrusting his tongue deeper inside you to earn blissful moans fall from your pretty lips. “Cum on my tongue now, and you can cum on my cock later.” Those words alone made your eyes roll back, the coil snapping deep within you and letting pleasure flood through your veins, enveloping you in painful bliss. Rafe licked up your juices as you came down from your orgasm, not leaving one drop to waste. You pushed his head away gently, managing to whisper a quiet “too sensitive”, to which Rafe responded with a breathy chuckle. Kissing the insides of your thighs, his eyes drifted to your face, your neck exposed and covered in a thin sheen of sweat, glistening in the candlelight. Testing the waters, he gently bit down on your inner thigh, pulling your skin between his teeth and relishing the moans that escaped you. He started sucking deep purple marks into your inner thighs, marking you only in the places he would see you. Usually, he’d leave identical marks on your neck and around your collar bones and chest, but he thought better of it this time.

Crawling back up your body, Rafe’s lips met yours, his tongue dancing with yours, the taste of yourself tingling your tastebuds. “Please, baby,” you whispered against his lips. “Fuck me.”

He smiled as he kissed your cheek, one hand supporting his weight against the bed and the other slowly unzipping his pants. “Well, since you asked so nicely, how could I refuse?” You just rolled your eyes playfully at his response, but your playful act dropped when you felt the tip of his cock brush through your folds. You were practically begging for him at this point, all broken pleas and mumbles, fueling his lust for you to the point where he could cum right there and then.

Lining himself up with your entrance, a low whine bubbled in his throat as he slowly pushed himself inside you, not stopping until he was buried deep inside you, the curls at the base of his cock tickling your sensitive flesh and nerves. “Fuck, you feel so good. Fuckin’ made for me,” Rafe whispered against your ear, one hand gripping your thigh to secure your leg around his waist. Supporting his weight with his free elbow resting beside your head as to not crush you, his eyes searched yours for confirmation to check you were comfortable. A silent nod from you was all he needed to know to start moving. With each slow roll of his hips, the tip of his cock hit a soft spongy spot deep inside you that made soft moans fall from your lips. Your hands ran up and down his back, clinging to him as his pace quickened, his thrusts becoming stronger, harder. Your nails dug into his back, causing Rafe to hiss in slight pain which quickly merged into pleasure as he slowly got used to the feeling of it.

“Taking me so well baby, letting me fuck you like this. Want to hear those pretty moans all night, okay? No holding back.” Just the way he spoke to you alone could get you all hot and bothered. But mixed with the way he fucked you so good, fucked you senseless, you couldn’t get any more turned on if you tried.

So you didn’t hold back. You let every soft whimper, every moan, every scream of his name be heard by the neighbours as his hips snapped forcefully inside you at a quickened pace. Rafe’s face nestled in your neck, kissing and biting at your skin gently, but leaving no marks, even though that’s all he wanted to do. But the relentless teasing and interrogating by the Pogues would be unbearable to handle. Your heels dug into the small of his back, drawing him closer and deeper until he physically couldn’t get any closer to you.

So close after your first orgasm, you felt yourself quickly approaching another. “Shit, shit. Gonna cum, Rafe.”

“That’s it, beautiful. Cum all over my cock like a good girl.” And it was like the floodgates opened. Ecstasy filling your mind and body as you flooded his cock, clenching around him as he fucked you through your orgasm. Your head became empty as you screamed his name, definitely waking a few of your neighbours as you did. Rafe’s thrusts became sloppier, still powerful, but slower as his hips stuttered a few times. He managed to get a few rolls of his hips deep into you before releasing inside you, painting your walls in his cum. You could feel his cum seep out of you and drip down the backs of your thighs down to your ass, Rafe’s breathy pants tickling your ear as he whispered praises to you. “Did so good for me, baby. So fucking good.”

Reluctantly, Rafe pulled out of you, smiling as you whined softly at the empty feeling he left you with. “Easy, baby. I’ll only be a second. Gonna get something to clean you up.” And with that, he left you in the bedroom for a few moments, thoughts zipping through your mind. Did that seriously just happen? Was that a good idea or bad? Fuck, you didn’t want to think about that at the moment. Rafe didn’t leave you alone with your thoughts too long, coming back within a few minutes carrying a warm towel and a bottle of water. Kneeling on the bed between your legs, he dragged the warm, damp towel down your skin, collecting any evidence from your skin. He purposefully and “accidentally” applied pressure to your swollen pussy with the cloth, apologising with a laugh as you cursed at him teasingly.

After cleaning you up and making sure you drank something, Rafe climbed into bed beside you, turning on his side to face you. His hair was messier and more dishevelled than when he first came to your door, his lips red and plump and donning that adorable smirked you had come to know and love. Tracing a finger down your cheek, two fingers gently gripped your chin, tilting your head up to him and allowing him to press a soft kiss to your lips. You smiled into the kiss, tracing your fingers up his chest to cup the side of his neck, pulling him closer.

“Get some sleep, baby, yeah? You must be tired,” he winked cheekily, causing you to giggle and roll your eyes. “Says you,” you shot back playfully. “You can barely keep your eyes open.” He just rolled his eyes with a smile, pulling you into him with a hand around your waist, his palm tracing circles on your lower back and occasionally running up and down your spine. You melted into his chest, tickling his side with your fingers as you run them along his waist and hip.

“Night, Rafe,” you mumbled sleepily, content with having him back in your bed. You’d been struggling to sleep since the breakup, not used to sleeping alone. This felt normal and perfect to you.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he whispered in response, kissing the top of your hair and smiling as he felt you cuddle into him, your legs entangled together. You heard his breaths slow, soft inhales and exhales filling the silence as you lay there in his arms, quite happy at how soft he was around you.

“I love you.” You waited until you thought he’d fallen asleep to say it. It was barely audible, you almost unable to hear it. A whisper into the darkness. You kissed his chest softly before letting your eyes drift close. But you missed the way his heart jumped at the words, how his eyes shot open. And you missed the way he whispered the same words back to you with tears in his eyes.

I hope you enjoyed!

Requests are open!

rafe was a bit hesitant to take care of tommy alone.

it would be his first time looking after a toddler, and he wasn’t even sure if he could handle it in the first place.

but rafe promised you that he will take good care of tommy whilst you’re out for work.

he wasn’t quite sure what they should do for the few hours that you’re gone.

rafe stared at tommy for a good few minutes, just blinking at each other as he thought of something, anything, to do.

he pursed his lips, as he grabbed tommy from his high chair, lowering him on his playmat by the living room.

rafe flopped down beside the toddler, grabbing the remote control of your smart tv. he contemplated for a moment if he could watch a good action movie that was released on netflix yesterday.

was tommy even allowed to watch something intense?

he swiped through the choices on the home page, pausing for a moment when tommy suddenly let out an excited squeal. “melmo!”

he looked back at the screen to see elmo & friends displayed on the highlights.

rafe grinned at him. “oh, you love elmo, huh?”

“love melmo!” he nodded, eagerly waving the dinosaur plush in his hands.

“elmo it is, then,” rafe shrugged as he pressed play on the kid’s show.

you’ve lost count of the hours you spent at the bistro. all you knew was that you were incredibly worn out, and you just couldn’t wait to see your boys.

you let out a pleased sigh as you parked your car in front of your house, sluggishly making your way towards your home as you yawned.

“hey, i’m home.” you called out as you entered the house.

“hey,”

you snapped your attention towards the living room, your eyebrows raising at the sight of your boyfriend and your kid invested in watching elmo on the flatscreen tv.

rafe has his head perked on his arm, his body leaning on his side with tommy against him, their eyes trained on elmo.

they didn’t even bother to look at you.

you slowly made your way towards them, blocking their view from the television. “enjoying ourselves, are we?”

“yeah, yeah.” rafe mindlessly muttered his answer, tilting his head to the side to watch elmo and abby go out on a picnic.

tommy whined at the loss of elmo in front of him, and you sighed, moving away to leave them with the cartoon.

after a very much needed hot shower and a quick change of clothes, you walked back to the living room, this time with a bowl of popcorn and tommy’s baby bottle.

you silently sat down rafe, who now resided on the couch with tommy on his lap, and laid your head down on his shoulder as you offered him some popcorn.

it was quiet.

the domestic kind that made you want to stay there forever, wanting nothing more than to cherish the soft hours with the two people you love.

rafe finally turned his attention towards you when tommy crawled into your embrace, missing the warmth of his mother.

“how was work?” rafe whispered, planting a soft kiss on your forehead.

“tiring,” you murmured, shaking the baby bottle before feeding it to tommy. “did you really spend the whole afternoon watching elmo?”

“i just know that they put something in that show, i don’t know how i got so hooked.”

father figure taglist: @milkywqze @poulterfilms @melwilson @sammywilscn @abm111815 @carolineworld @darcylewisstan @octaviareina @sweet-creature98 @father-violet @faandomlover @judayyyw @in-my-body-bag @marvelsimps @thisisntmeok @matbarzalschain

You knew he had a drug problem. But most on the island your age had experimented, using it as a means to help cope with inheriting their parents' issues. A little here and there.. Mainly at party’s so they could fit in. That was normal.

Unfortunately, Rafe was anything but normal.

In the beginning you’d made him promise to try to keep it under control; For you. And of course he eagerly agreed. Because he loved you.

Way, way deep down. Under all the emotional abuse from his father. Beneath the rage that somehow was always sitting just below the surface, ready to explode in a moment's notice.

Underneath everything; Was his love for you.

It wasn’t healthy. You knew that. And deep down he knew it too. But you were the one thing Rafe felt kept him tethered to the ground. An anchor in the harsh ocean.

You stood in the mirror, staring at the reflection. The person it was showing you was a watered down version of the one you were used to seeing. The pale peach dress flows down from your waist, almost pooling at your feet. The bell sleeves that started below your shoulders and sat perfectly at your wrists, the seam along the top of the sleeve was open and the soft fabric felt feather light as it brushed on your arms.

It really was a gorgeous dress. Why did it make you feel awful?

Rafe stood behind you, staring at you in earnest.

“You look beautiful, Y/n.” He mumbled sincerely as he walked up behind where you stood, never taking his eyes off your reflection as he moved to ghost his hands up your arms. His eyes met yours in the mirror as he moved to rest his chin in the crook of your neck.

“Thank you.” Your voice came out strained but of course he didn’t notice. He was all too busy thinking of you to consider your feelings. The feeling of his breath on your neck left goosebumps on your skin.

“I know you didn’t exactly want to come to Midsummers this year.. But it wouldn’t be the same without my girl with me.” He spoke softly as he looked down over the front of your dress from behind you.

Midsummers was the opportunity for the Cameron’s to show the rest of Kildare County that they were the perfect family they wished everyone thought they were.

Before you could respond the sales lady walked up beside the two of you, a hopeful look on her face as she clasped her hands in front of her.

Without so much as a second glance to you Rafe took out a wad of cash from his pocket and waved it in front of you.

“We’ll take it.”

You didn’t even want to know where that money came from, but you couldn’t help yourself from wondering.

IT’S NOT THAT you hated being seen with Rafe— It was the complete opposite actually. You loved going out with your Rafe. But you never really knew whatever version of him you'd meet each day.

You knew all his promises were empty, spent frivolously in order to keep you around. That still doesn’t stop you from speaking as you sit in the car on the way back from town. A dress for you and a suit for him in tow.

“Rafe?” Your voice comes out more quiet than you intend it to.

He cuts his eyes over to you as he drives.

“What’s the matter, gorgeous?” He raises his eyebrows slightly as he looks over at you. You hesitate to speak for a moment, not sure really what you were trying to say.

Finding some comfort in the fact that today was sober. It felt as though your Rafe was back. It has been months since you felt this way for more than a few moments at a time.

In his sobriety he sees your nervousness; Reaching over and taking your hand in his. Used to the gesture would soothe your nerves, but now it just feeds them. You silently decide to just not say what you wanted to.

Please stay sober. Don’t try to escape from the real world, I want you here with me.

Instead you paint on a smile, one that you have to force to reach your eyes. Not wanting to ruin the good day.

“I had a good time today. Thank you.” You gently squeeze his hand in yours and he shoots you a sweet smile.

You wish you could take a picture of this moment. Because ones like it happen very few and far between.

“Anything for my baby.” He brings your hand up to his mouth and places a tender kiss on the back of your hand before moving it to rest it in his lap.

You allow yourself to feel the way your stomach seems to flutter at the gesture, the nickname and the tone in his voice as he spoke.

THE NEXT FEW DAYS pass with little to no word from Rafe. You try not to think about the possibility of him being strung out on the other side of the island. It was your normal after all.. But still you can’t help the way your hands shake as you grip the steering wheel.

Your car rolls slowly to a stop in the circle drive of Tannyhill. The one of the only texts you’d gotten from Rafe all week was today; Asking you to meet him at his house. You couldn’t help but wonder what trouble he’d gotten himself into this time.

Wordlessly you get out of your car and make your way into the too big house. Letting yourself in and making the all too familiar trek up the stairs to Rafe's room. Quietly opening the door to his room and walking in, shutting it behind you.

As you turned around Rafe met you, immediately wrapping his arms around you. His face going to the crook of your neck, pressing a wet kiss to the skin there.

“Missed you, baby.” He mumbled, his voice shaking as he spoke. You froze in his grip, pulling back slightly to look at him. He was high. In the middle of it actually. You could tell by the look in his eyes that the inevitable crash was only minutes away.

He couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eye before leaning down and pressing a needy kiss to your lips. You couldn’t make yourself kiss him back, you pulled away. His eyes grow wide in confusion.

“You’re high.” You shake your head. Bringing your hand up to wipe at your lip.

“No. No baby. I’m not. I promised you-“

“And you're lying to my face about it.” You nodded as you wrapped your arms around yourself. Trying to find any form of comfort.

His eyes searched his surroundings, hoping to find the words in the air around you.

“It’s just this once baby. This one time. After this— I’m done.” He moved to take hold of your hand and you stepped away.

“That’s exactly what you said the first time. And every time after that.” His mouth opened and closed frantically, searching for words. “You call me baby; say you love me. But this isn’t love, Rafe. To only call someone when you need them or want something from them isn’t love.” He started to shake at the words as they came out of your mouth.

“I do love you.” He shook his head as he looked into your eyes.

“Well you sure don’t know how to show it.”

He shouts something, and then he moves too quickly causing you to jump back. Shrinking in on yourself.

His demeanor changes almost instantly; his eyes soften and his shoulders slump tiredly. The look on your face telling him exactly what you felt.

You thought he was going to hit you.

Your worst fear. And your final straw. You quickly turn on your heels and open the door. Unsteadily you make your way out of his room, Rafe hot on your heels. Calling out your name.

“Y/n. Baby! Wait I didn’t— I would never.” He yells after you as you walk fast down the stairs, the front door and your car in your sight. Only a few more minutes before you could break. You shook your head as you took the last step, feet hitting the granite flooring. Before you could reach the door someone stepped in your way, you practically skidded to a halt. Balling your trembling hands into a fist as you looked up.

Meeting eyes with Ward Cameron. Your posture straightening as your froze.

“Is there a problem here, y/n?” Ward’s voice was laced with accusation. Wanting nothing more then to find one more fault in his son to add to the list. You shook your head. Clearing your throat slightly before speaking, silently praying to whoever could be listening that you didn’t look half as startled as you were.

“No sir. I was just leaving.” Ward stood, silently assessing the situation as he looked from you to Rafe. Who stood frozen to his spot on the floor behind you at the foot of the stairs.

He stood still for a moment before nodding,

“Alright then.” He smiled brightly. You always wondered how someone's eyes could be so stoic and cold even as they looked happier than ever. “Oh! You’ll be joining us at Midsummers tomorrow.. Won’t you, Y/n?” He raised his eyebrows and you nod,

“Yes sir, Mister Cameron.” You could almost sense Rafes relief from behind you. Ward pats you on the arm as he passes you.

“Walk your girlfriend to her car, Rafe.” his voice comes out cold as he practically commands his son. You stand still until you hear Ward’s footsteps grow further away.

Before you could reach the door Rafes in front of you, opening it for you to walk through. Without so much as a glance toward him you walk past him and quickly over to your car.

As your hand lands on the door handle Rafes hand lands on your other wrist. His grip is almost harsh, as you slowly turn to look up at him.

“I’m sorry.” He croaks. For a minute you almost feel sorry for him. Then you remember who you are, where you are and what just happens. And it feels like a slap in the face.

The blue sky overhead made his bloodshot eyes look as if they were on the verge of tears. And maybe he was.. Or maybe he was just that strung out.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” You nod your head. Loosening his grip on your hand as he dropped it. “My house. Six thirty. And please; Be sober.” You open your door and slide into your car as he nods eagerly.

“Yeah— Yes. Anything. For you.”

You give him one last look before you shut your door, cranking your car and driving off. Once you’re out of the driveway and Rafe is no longer in your rear view you finally allow your guard to come crashing down. The ever present tremble in your hands seemed to grow stronger by the minute. You throat feeling as if it was burning from the oxygen your lungs craved as you slowly breathed in and out.

THE NEXT DAY you were presently surprised when an actual, honest, sober Rafe Cameron showed up at your door.

You walk hand and hand with him as you enter the country club. You in your dress, Rafe in his cream colored suit and tie that perfectly matched the color of your dress. You couldn’t help but feel ridiculous as you walked through the double doors with the entire Cameron family making their grand entrance.

Rafe's hand gently squeezes yours, causing you to turn your head. Finding him already looking at you. A small smile pulling at the corner of his lips. You force all thoughts of yesterday into the back of your mind.

“You look absolutely gorgeous tonight.” He mumbles to you as he leans down, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. You couldn’t stop yourself from leaning into him before he pulled away.

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” You whisper against his lips as you open your eyes to look into his. A bright smile making its way onto his face as he laughs.

“Anything for my girl.” He moves to press a kiss to the top of your head before pulling you further into the party.

After a few dances and some almost painful small talk with your parents' friends, Rafe finally came up with an excuse to disappear on you. Pressing a chaste kiss to your lips and mumbling something about the boys before disappearing into the crowd.

That was an hour ago.

You had a sneaking suspicion where he disappeared to— You slowly made your way back through the crowd, into the country club. Following the signs that lead to the door of the men's bathroom; Stopping to listen for a minute outside the door.

Hearing Rafe’s voice from the other side of it. Anger gets the best of you as you rip the door open, and the small group gathered in the room turn around to face you. Namely Kelce and Topper. Plus a few others you never cared to learn the names of. They all look to you with surprised expressions. But they relax at the realization it was only you and not security or the cops.

Your eyes find Rafe's, who's standing in the middle of the room. His eyes grew wide as he realized he’s been caught red handed. Or white nosed, rather.

Without saying a word you turn around and start towards the front door, winding hallways not doing you any favors as you slow down actively trying not to get lost. Rafe easily catches up to you tugging on your wrist trying to get you to stop,

“Baby, wait.” He speaks quietly, you don’t stop as you pull your hand away from him harshly.

“Get away from me.” You shake your head as you finally make it into the front lobby. The front door just a few feet away and you quicken your step. Wanting nothing more than to get out of here.

As you push the doors open and summer air clings to your skin. As the door closes behind you Rafe finally pulls you to a stop. You turn to look at him, eyes wide. Anger evident in your expression.

“I asked you one thing, Rafe. One simple thing. And you still couldn’t do it. Not even for one night.” You pull your hand away from him and ball them into fists at your side.

“You said to show up sober..” Shrugged his shoulders dismissively.

“You knew what I meant.” You look over at him, before closing your eyes and shaking your head. You angrily pulled at the sleeve of your dress before looking back up to see his face. Evidence of his usage is still visible under his nose. “For fucks sake, Rafe. You’ve still got that shit on your nose.” You pointed up at him as you spoke and he wiped it with his sleeve.

You shake your head as you move to push your hair back out of your face angrily.

“I’m sorry, y/n.” His dilated eyes stare into yours as he speaks and you have to look away from him.

“How many times do I have to hear you apologize knowing you don’t actually mean it?”

“I do mean it.” His head shakes slowly, as if he's trying to convince you and himself of the fact.

“No you don’t or you wouldn’t keep putting me in this situation.” You narrow your eyes at him as you shake your head. His eyes cut away from you to look over the parking lot. He knows you’re right. Even if he doesn’t want to admit it yet.

The two of you stand there silently for a minute, your anger slowly turning into hurt. The feeling swirling around in your stomach making you grow nauseous.

You know what you need to do. What you should have done a long time ago but you’ve never been able to actually do it.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Your voice comes out shaky, Rafes eyes shoot back over to you as he realizes what you just said.

“What?” His voice comes out louder than you expected causing you to flinch. You look into his eyes, the blue of his iris’s almost completely blown black by his pupils. That along with the sheen of sweat that covers his skin tells you his high is peaking.

“This, Rafe.” You motion between the two of you, “You only call me when you want something from me. You disappear for days on end and I have no clue if you're dead or alive.” You shake your head, having to force yourself to say the next sentence. “We’re not good for each other Rafe.” Your voice cracks as you look away.

“No. You can’t.” Rafe's eyes grow wide as he shakes his head, his eyes rimmed red with tears. “I love you. You’re all I have. You can’t leave.” His hand is shaky and clammy as he reaches over and grabs yours.

“I love you too. So much. But I can’t keep standing around and watch you destroy yourself.” Your lip trembles with emotion as you gently squeeze his hand.

“You can’t. If you go I’ll have nothing. Nobody cares about me.” He slowly shakes his head, a look of derealization on his face. His eyes hardly showing any emotion.

“I care about you, Rafe. So fucking much.” You swallow down the burning feeling that's trying to claw its way up your throat as you let go of his hand, “But I can’t keep doing this.. Seeing you this way— It breaks my heart.”

The party whirls dully in the distance and the two of you stand there, not really knowing what to do. His eyes are transfixed somewhere beside you. The inevitable crash looming just below the peak.

“Goodbye, Rafe.” You mumble as you turn around and walk off of the front steps. Your heart breaks more with each step.

Rafe stood frozen on the landing as you walked away, not sparing a second glance back at him, afraid if you did you’d run back into his arms and forgive him. Believe his lies for the thousandth time and begin the vicious cycle all over again.

Halfway to the entrance of the parking lot you heard a pained yell from behind you, followed by a dull thud. You closed your eyes and you wrapped your arms around your waist as you walked.

The sound of the ocean in the distance was ironic. The waves rushing to the shore, only to crash violently into the sand.

People always have said that life was just one big ocean. Vast and scary. Merciless and ever changing.

If that was true— Rafe Cameron rode the waves, crashing violently into the shore.

“What’s gotten you in such a good mood today, baby?” His voice was huskier than usual, a deep low baritone that sounded like music to your ears. You interlaced your fingers with his hand that was resting on your thigh.

“Just happy, no particular reason,” you smiled, kissing his knuckles. “I am happy that we can finally relax tonight. You’ve been so stressed out with your dad’s business lately.”

“I’ve been stressed out?” Rafe laughed, turning down a dirt path leading to Barry’s trailer. “Says the one that’s been in a mood for the past week. I’ve never seen you so tense before.”

“Oh, ha ha, Rafe,” you rolled your eyes, laughing with him as you cast your eyes down the dirt path. “I have not been moody.”

“Hmmm...sure, baby.”

You kissed his knuckles again, following it with a sharp nip of your teeth on the back of his hand to shut him up. He hissed, laughing as he watched you side-eye him, playfully daring him to tease you more. Within minutes, Rafe’s car was parked outside Barry’s trailer, the dealer sat outside in the summer’s heat, working on his bike. He watched as the two of you got out of the car, Rafe walking around to kiss your cheek before making his way over to Barry. 

Barry took one last gulp of his beer before setting it down in the grass patch and getting out of his seat. “Well, well. If it isn’t my two favourite customers, Country Club and Trust Fund Princess,” Barry laughed, winking at you before turning his attention back to Rafe. 

“Yeah, good to see you too, Barry,” you rolled your eyes, leaning against the car as you pulled your phone from your pocket.

“Five minutes and we can go?” Rafe called over to you as he walked backwards in the direction of Barry’s trailer, not taking his eyes off you, hesitant to leave you out here alone. You nodded and smiled, watching as he went inside the trailer to grab his shit. Turning your attention back to your phone, you shot Sarah a text about some barbeque the Cameron’s were having that weekend. It was peaceful out here, away from all the people and the noise. Just the chirps of birds and the hum of the generator to fill the silence.

That was until a truck swerved down the same dirt path that you and Rafe had driven down. The driver showed zero care for awareness as he sped down the road, skidding into a halt next to Rafe’s car, narrowly missing several trees on the way. Three guys got out of the car, jeering and laughing with eachother, completely ignoring your existence as they made their way to the trailer, no doubt picking up their fixes. But their attention was soon directed at you when your phone chimed, alerting a message from Sarah. Shit.

One of the guys turned to you, his dark brown hair covering the tops of his eyes, a thick beard concealing the lower half of his face and along the top of his upper lip. His eyes raked over your body as he nudged the blonde guy in the middle blindly with his hand. 

“Well, what do we have here, boys?” the brunet boy stepped towards you, closely followed by his two blonde friends. Smiles were plastered on their face as they snickered at you, the way their eyes drifted over your face and chest making your skin crawl.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing in an establishment like this? Don’t think your parents would be best pleased with what you get up to in your spare time, now would they?” It was the taller blonde that spoke this time, stepping even closer to you. He practically towered over you, easily the same height as Rafe as his body shadowed yours. 

“Look, boys,“ you replied coolly, wishing that Rafe would hurry the fuck up so you could leave. You couldn’t even get back into the car without trying the move the shorter blonde who was leaning against the passenger door. “I’m not in the mood for conversation right now. I’m sorta busy, so if you don’t mind, just grab your shit and leave.”

“Not in the mood for conversation? The blonde leaned down, his hands caging you in as they rested either side of your head. His breath was hot against your ear and it took all of your strength not to punch him right there. “That’s fine, baby. I’m sure you’re in the mood for something else,” he whispered as one of his hands swiftly glided down your body to cup the flesh of your ass, the other gripping the back of your neck harshly to pull your face closer to his.

“Motherfucker!” You hissed, using all your strength to swing one of your legs up straight into his groin, causing him to release your ass from his grip and hunch over in pain.

An enraged bellowing “HEY” was all you heard before the blonde guy was ripped from your vision, the echoing sound of him being pushed up against his truck vibrating in your ears. Whipping your head to the sound of the noise, you saw Rafe with his hand wrapped around the guys throat, digging his fingertips into his skin. “If you ever touch my girl again, I’ll fucking kill you. Understand?”

The other two boys had already backed off, clearly not intending to actually touch you from the scared looks on their faces. Barry kept his eyes on the other two, ready to pull his weapon out if they made any move towards you.

“Yeah, I fuckin’ understand you, man,” the blonde answered, acting very nonchalant in front of your pissed boyfriend. He even had the nerve to chuckle in his face. “We were just having a bit of fun is all.”

“Fun,” you echoed, huffing a laugh as you rubbed the back of your neck. “Wouldn’t have been fun when I broke that hand of yours, you disgusting fuck.”

“Oh, baby. You know you liked it,” he winked. Big fucking mistake. In an instant, Rafe had momentarily pulled away only to surge forward with his fist, connecting with his jaw in a bone-crunching blow. You winced at the sound of bone breaking, the blood spurting from the blonde guys nose definitely signalling a broken nose at least.

“Rafe,” you called out to him, rolling your neck back to alleviate the pain a little. His chest was heaving, fists clenched, hair falling in front of his face. He was ready to kill him. “Just...just leave him, okay?” You walked over to him, gently laying your hand on his shoulder, squeezing it slightly to alert your presence. He looked over to you, his features softening immediately as a hand wrapped around your waist and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. Moving away from the blubbering blonde on the floor, his two buddies scarpered over to their truck, hauling their injured friend into the back seat and driving off as quickly as possible. 

“Don’t fucking come back!” Rafe shouted to them as they sped off, disappearing down the dirt road as quickly as they had appeared.

“Shit, Trust Fund,” Barry laughed, “you got one hell of a good swing in there. You good, though?” You nodded in response, watching him give you a small smile before retreating back into his trailer.

“Rafe, baby. Can we go home?” He hadn’t taken his eyes off the road, and he hadn’t made a move to loosen his grip on your waist either. Reluctantly he tore his eyes away after you poked his chest a few times.

“Yeah, let’s get out of here. You okay?” His eyes scanned over your features and down your body to check for any marks. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. I promise,” you convinced him as you kissed his cheek before heading back to the passenger side of the car. He opened the door for you to get in, closing it behind you and within seconds, he was right beside you in the drivers seat. His face still seething with rage as he turned the car on, pulling out of Barry’s driveway to head back home.

“Can’t believe I let them fucking touch you. I should find them and-”

“No, you shouldn’t. Unless you want Peterkin involved,” you tried to calm him, rubbing a soothing hand up and down his thigh. “Besides, you already broke his nose, I feel like that was enough.”

“Baby, he grabbed your ass. He put his hands on my girl. He shouldn’t even have his hands after that,” he managed to say through gritted teeth. You couldn’t help but bite your lip and smile a little at him calling you ‘his girl’.

“Now I think you’re the one who’s tense, Rafe. How about we just go home and forget about this? What do you say?” You didn’t want to make a big thing out of it, and he could hear it in your voice. He wasn’t going to stop thinking about it until he actively did something about it.

“Fine. Yeah, okay. But as soon as we get home, I’m putting you in the shower. Gonna get his dirty touch off you.” 

“Are you at least going to join me?”

He looked over at you, smirking at your innocent tone. “Well, I thought that was implied, babygirl.”

Leaning over, you moved to press a kiss to his cheek, but he angled his face at the last second to capture your lips with his in a soft but quick kiss. “Thank you, though. For getting him away from me. I did sort of shit myself a little.”

Rafe brought your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it a few times. “I’ll always protect you, baby.”

Hope you enjoyed!

Requests are open!

He realizes halfway home he has to circle back to the grocery store, where he’d completely abandoned his original plans once he ran into you, and you both literally dropped everything. He’s thankful for the sweatshirt and hat combination he’s sporting, not keen to interact with anyone he’d recognize that might ask him why he’s smiling the way he is.

“Sorry Wheez,” he apologizes upon his arrival at home, ruffling his youngest sister’s hair as he greets her in the kitchen. He tosses the box of hot chocolate packets she’d requested onto the counter, leaning up against it. “Got a little caught up.”

She looks up from her phone, considering him skeptically. “For over an hour?”

Rafe just shrugs. “Busy. It’s Thanksgiving this week, y’know. Lot of people buying a lot of food and… whatever.”

“Okay. Whatever. Do you want some?”

“Sure,” Rafe nods absent-mindedly, mind already miles away from the kitchen in which he stood.

The adrenaline of seeing you, getting to touch you and hold you again, was quickly shedding off of him in waves, shattering, cracking, and peeling until he’s barely anything more than an anxious mess with nothing to do but wait for you to be ready. Which he could do, he reminds himself.

“I’ll have one too, sweetie.”

His father’s voice immediately sets Rafe’s spine straight as a board, thoughts of you clearing and eyes shifting to the man standing in the entryway of the kitchen. Rafe doesn’t say anything in greeting, just nodding before glancing to the other end of the kitchen, ready to make his exit if—when—he needs to.

“Okay, so three mugs,” Wheezie murmurs, busying herself with pulling things out of the cabinets.

Things were always tense between Rafe and his dad, he can’t remember one moment recently where they hadn’t been—actually. But ever since his birthday, things had only been worse. You hung up on him and his hands shook with his next moves, typing in his dad’s contact to have the conversation he should’ve demanded months ago.

“Rafe, did you check in with Ezra like I asked?” Ward asks, the smile reserved for his sisters slipping off of his face in an instant once he addresses his son.

“Yes, sir. We wrapped up today for the holiday weekend.”

“You’re not working at all tomorrow?” Ward asks, looking surprised.

“No,” Rafe says, eyebrows furrowed, nerves coming to the surface. “Ezra said he cleared it with you, that the financial team was done today, ’til next Monday.”

“Huh,” Ward says in consideration. “Alright. If you feel like you’ve earned that.”

Rafe can feel Wheezie looking at the two of them, knows she’s picked up on the tone shift just like he has. Rafe almost sighs, concedes to logging some hours tomorrow. But then he thinks about you, what he told you, promised you. And himself. “I do. My department’s off tomorrow, dad. So I am too.”

But as much as he hates it sometimes, Rafe is his father’s son, because Ward doesn’t back down either. “Let me guess. Big plans with Y/n? Kelce’s dad told me about his uh—party?”

“It’s a bar crawl.”

“You’re taking Y/n to the bars?” he asks, sounding as if he’s barely holding back a laugh. Rafe doesn’t feel the same inclination to throw something at him like he would have a few months ago whenever his dad so much as mentioned your name, but it’s not exactly a terrible thing that there’s nothing within his immediate reach right now.

“Dad,” he warns, shooting him a look.

“Just seems a bit… beneath her.”

Rafe immediately heads for the doorway in which his father came, not stopping to look for confirmation. “I’ll meet you out on the deck.”

His father gives him about five minutes to pace the deck in contemplation, before appearing with a freshly poured finger of whiskey, one hand tucked into his pocket and an exasperated look on his face. “What now?”

“What now—dad,” Rafe starts, doing his best not to slip into son mode. He knows his father will be more receptive if Rafe treats this like business. He briefly contemplates an alternate reality, where he’s actively seeking out his father for advice on how to treat you right, not working overtime to protect you from him instead. But that’s a false reality his father had been chipping away at for years, until it was staring Rafe in the face over the summer. “I thought we understood each other, when we talked on my birthday?”

“Your birthday?” Ward asks, swirling his glass. “Ah, you mean when you called me after I sent you a nice bottle of champagne to berate me for looking out for you?”

“Look—looking out for me?”

“I’m just trying to get you to be realistic about this girl, son. She’s distracting you, and she doesn’t care how hard you work—”

“No. Stop,” Rafe says, willing his voice not to waver from the sheer frustration thrumming under his skin. “I told you to back off of her.”

“Huh,” Ward says, glint in his eye. “And yet I can’t seem to figure out why. Because it seems to be the consensus around town that you two aren’t really an item anymore.”

Rafe doesn’t let himself freeze, show any sign of trepidation or give any indication that he’d been caught out. He knew this was a possibility, your hometown was way too small sometimes. This self-preserving lie he’d kept up for so long—half out of his own assuredness you’d somehow find your way back to him, half out of the fear of the told-you-so look on his dad’s face, the one he’s getting right now—he knew it’d only stick for so long before he was found out. He feels his jaw twitch, but that’s all he gives before clearing his throat. “Yeah, well. Check your sources, then—just dropped her off.”

His father’s eyebrows unceremoniously shoot into his hairline, and Rafe feels the slightest sense of victory. “Really?”

“Really. But you know what? That wouldn’t even matter, dad,” he says. “I don’t care what happens—you can’t talk about her like that. Not in front of anyone, and not in front of me.”

“You can’t tell me what to do, son,” Ward says around a chuckle, bringing his drink to his lips again.

And then there’s this ugly, dark pit that had been settled in Rafe’s stomach since his sophomore year of college, when his father made him come home to work for him for the first time. And not just the minor tasks he’d been picking up since he was fifteen, or the ride alongs to construction sites he’d always loved as a kid. The first time he’d really had to work for his dad, be his son and his employee simultaneously. The first glimpse into what he’d always thought would be the rest of his life—what he’d warned you about that night on your roof when he asked you to be his. And he’d pushed the feeling about it down for as long as he could, ignoring the anxiety it’d cause him, the pure exhaustion and anguish it often left him with to work for his father.

Until he couldn’t anymore, on the night John B had pulled him aside at that stupid party to ask about you and Ward. When things had already been off between you two for weeks, and he could come up with no good reason as to why. Then you’d looked up at him through your tear-soaked lashes, wobbling lips and shaking voice repeating the words his father said to you. Everything clicked into place when he realized you’d internalized it, had been carrying those words around in your heart and in your head for weeks until you weren’t looking at Rafe the same way anymore, the way he’d finally gotten you to see him after all these years.

This is the first time he’s going to ever verbalize it, but this feeling had been pressing down on Rafe for years.

“You’re right,” Rafe says. “I can’t. All I can do is make it clear to you that this is a deal-breaker for me.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means,” he says, “She’s here to stay, alright? And I refuse to put her through the wringer with you. She’s smart, she’s kind, she’s so fucking good for me, and just so much more than think you she is—she’s the love of my life, dad. And I can’t be involved in the business like this if it’s hurting her. I actually won’t.”

“Won’t what?” Ward asks, looking thoroughly confused at this point.

“Work for you, dad,” Rafe finally admits, wishing he’d grabbed a whiskey too at this point. “She’s—Dad, that girl is everything to me, she always has been.”

“You’d quit the business for her?”

“If I had to put distance between the two of us, I would. And that’s the only way I can think to do it.” Rafe has to take a long breath to quell the tightness in his throat, staring up at the sky and blinking rapidly a few times before speaking again. “Not like there’s much else to our relationship.”

“Rafe, bud—”

“I love her dad. And if you can’t respect that—well, I guess I should polish up my cover letter, shouldn’t I?”

Rafe swears he sees hurt flash across his father’s face, but it’s hardly an emotion he’s ever seen in him before, so he can’t be sure. And he’s straightening himself out and taking another pull of whiskey, steeling himself before Rafe can even get a read anyways. “Okay. And where will you go?”

“I have options,” Rafe says. This wasn’t how he expected this to go at all, and maybe the slightest glimmer of hope you’d given him at the pool, the tiniest way you’d let your guard down—just like he’d seen you do the first time at the start of the summer—maybe that’s what gives him the push. He thinks about the internships he’d withheld from his dad over the past few years, the resume he’d built, contacts in a network he’d made all on his own. Because maybe in the back of his mind he’d always known it’d end like this. Fuck, he’d even finally accept Beau’s LinkedIn request if he had to—because he knew he deserved better than this, and so did you. “Plenty.”

“This is exactly what I was afraid of, Rafe,” Ward sighs, pinching his brow in anguish. If Rafe hadn’t spent years and years trying to prove himself to this man, only to be met with empty praises or unimpressed write-offs, he might have it in him to be affected by the disappointment. “She’s pulling you away.”

“No,” Rafe says, voice raising in anger. “No, that was all you. Okay? Maybe she gave me a reason. But it’s always been like this between us—you can’t even try to deny that.”

Ward sighs again, polishing off the rest of his glass. “She must be some girl, Rafe.”

Rafe grunts in frustration. “Dad—don’t you like, with Rose? Wouldn’t you protect her from anything you had to?”

“Your little high school sweetheart is hardly comparable to my wife—your stepmother.”

“Maybe to you. But shouldn’t the fact I’m willing to go to these lengths… that should tell you something, dad. And if it doesn’t, I’m not sure what else we have to talk about.”

Rafe leaves his dad’s frozen figure on the deck then, waving his little sister off when she asks about the hot cocoa and taking the stairs to his room two steps at a time, trying not to think about what he just did.

—

mccall: ok everyone is wondering so i’m just gonna ask. have you talked to redacted

davis: i think what this bitch MEANT to ask was how are u doing bb!? how’s home!!!

delilah: no but like… wren is asking too

y/n: he just dropped me off

The group FaceTime call commences in seconds, much to your chagrin—although what could you have expected at this point? Your friends had absorbed Rafe into their orbit within minutes of meeting him, even if it took McCall a few shots to warm up, she came around too once she got to know him. Just how everyone always did around him.

“Hey,” Delilah says, her voice breaking through the mess of log-on sounds and cut off conversations first. She gives you a sympathetic smile. “How are you, Y/n/n?”

“No, don’t answer that yet,” McCall says, voice cutting through before she’s turning back to someone off-screen. “Give me a sec. Mom, it’s my friends. Ex-boyfriend stuff, very important.”

Wren peeks into Delilah’s frame then, readjusting his hair and then waving at the camera. “Hey, Y/n. What’s going on down south?”

You’re rushing to shut your door, glaring at Dylan’s disappointed look aimed at you from across the hall, turning on your fairy lights. “Not much, um. Kinda late here.”

“Okay, I’m here,” Davis announces, his line finally connecting too. “What did I miss?”

“No—wait,” McCall urges. “Cyrus, get the fuck out or I swear—okay. Okay, I’m ready. What did he do?”

“Who? Hometown?” Wren pipes up. “Y’all back together?”

“Oh my god, Wren,” Delilah sighs, giving you an apologetic look. “Babe, please go refill our drinks, yeah? I’ll catch you up after.”

“But—”

“Please.”

“Okay,” Davis starts, blotting a serum into his face once Wren walks off. “Everyone should just shut the fuck up. Let her speak, then we judge later. You saw Rafe?”

“Yeah, on accident,” you emphasize, looking at McCall’s little FaceTime square, her unimpressed expression doing nothing to put you at ease. “I swear, we just ran into each other. There aren't many places to be on this island, alright?”

“Okay, and then what? Wait—did you guys hook up? Did you yell at him, or—”

“McCall,” Davis warns, eyes straying away from his mirror to shoot her a look through the phone.

Delilah is the first one to pick up on your distress, shushing the others. “Hey, so what happened? Was it good?”

“We didn’t—we just talked,” you say. A smile pulls on your lips despite yourself. “Actually, it was nice. He took me to the pool.”

“Ah, good one,” Wren says, appearing in the frame once again, head burrowing into Delilah’s shoulder after he presses a kiss to her head.

“Not gonna lie, have to agree with Wren here,” Davis concedes, hand over his mouth as he grins. “That’s cute.”

“No, stop, you’re all way too romantic. It’s literally so fucking hard being the only earth sign in this friend group,” McCall sighs. “Focus, Y/n. What did he say?”

“Oh, god,” you sigh, falling back onto your bed finally. “Like—everything. We talked about everything. And I didn’t just—guys, you know I wouldn’t just let him off.”

“McCall made sure of that,” Davis grumbles.

“Excuse you.”

“Excuse you, I live there too. I had to listen to every single lecture,” Davis says, readjusting his skincare headband. “Every fucking one.”

You’d tuned the lectures out at a certain point, exchanging listening to McCall’s opinions about the terrors of long-distance and hometown boyfriends for your own fantasies about you and Rafe getting back together. You loved her, and she meant well—but she was scarred, and it definitely affected her judgment. Against her will, too, because you knew she liked Rafe deep down. Very deep down, in a place usually only unearthed by alcohol. “Alright. Guys, I appreciated this Socratic seminar. I think I’m just gonna sleep on it.”

“No, wait—we could put it to a vote,” Delilah says. “Two votes for Rafe.”

She doesn’t even glance at Wren when she says it, who just nods his head and brings his beer to his lips all the same.

“You guys,” you groan. “Come on.”

“Do I get a vote?”

“No, McCall. Because we all know what it is and you still won’t win,” Davis says.

“Alright, go easy on her guys. Make good choices. Good night, Y/n/n,” Wren says, making the decision for everyone else to leave you alone. He ducks out of the frame again after a wave.

“I’ll be off too, my sweet. You got this,” Delilah says, waving. “Text us!”

When it’s just your roommates left, an awkward silence drags until Davis clears his throat. “McCall, hang up.”

“What!” she squawks, mouth falling open in indignation. “I’m being helpful.”

“Nope.”

“Y/n,” she tries, directing her words toward you now. “You know I’m just worried about you.”

“I know, and thank you, really,” you say. “I’ll text you later, yeah?”

“Ugh, fine. Bye uglies,” she says, resigned as she hangs up.

“Talk to me,” Davis says when the two of you are finally, blessedly alone. “What are we thinking?”

You suck in a breath before you unload. “Davis, it was… like. I literally had to physically make myself walk away before I just jumped all over him, or—”

“Okay, that’s not necessarily bad, Y/n.”

“I know, it just means I trust him,” you admit, because it’s true. “I don’t know, though. It was weird—I just felt like I needed to give myself some time?”

Davis nods, squinting in consideration. “I think it’s good that you’re thinking it through. Your man is nothing if not charming—”

“Oh, come on.”

“I’m kidding,” Davis concedes. “But also not. The pool? Come on. But look, he’s great, Y/n—you know I like him for you. And if you trust him, then I trust you. Even so, there’s still nothing wrong with taking some time. Maybe a few weeks while you guys finish out the semester?”

“Weeks?” you squeak, head rearing back from the screen.

“Okay, sorry,” he laughs. “Alright. What about at least a few days? After the holiday.”

“Days… plural. Yeah,” you nod, convincing yourself. “I guess I can think about that.”

“You don’t have to take any more time than you need to, you know that, right?” he says, voice softer. “You’re not an emotional thinker, Y/n. Trust your judgment.”

“I know,” you breathe, thinking of the way you’d felt seeing him. Everything had felt like it clicked into place immediately, but you had made him prove it to you anyways. And he had, ten times over. “I know.”

“But hey, what about the other stuff?”

“What do you mean?”

“You had some regrets too, didn’t you? I know you were beating yourself up over the thing with his dad. And the baby. Maybe you’ll feel better about all this if you tell him about that?” Davis says, lighting a candle in frame.

“Yeah, we talked about that too,” you confirm, nodding your head. “I think we’re okay there. He’s shit at accepting apologies, but—”

“Of course he is, he’s a man.”

“But, I think I got my point across. I hope I did.”

“Then what, my dear,” Davis says dramatically, finally finishing up his routine and giving you his full attention. “Are you waiting for?”

“I don’t know,” you groan.

“You’ll know when you’re done waiting,” he assures you. “It’ll feel right.”

“I guess you’re right.”

Davis sighs, smiling softly at you. “You’re not going to sleep at all tonight, are you?”

“Not a chance,” you agree. “I just wanna see him.”

“Go see him tomorrow,” Davis says.

You just look at him, smiling slightly. “I think I’ll be able to wait that long.”

“Bitch, you don’t even have to do that!” Davis says, clapping his hands. “There are no rules here—chug some chard and show up on his doorstep right now. It’ll be dramatic, and so, so romantic.”

You let yourself briefly consider it, shaking yourself out of it immediately after. “No, I—no. I’m too nervous. What am I even gonna say?”

“Okay, let me get some wine and then you can practice on me tonight. Grab a notepad.”

—

You’ve been sitting on the back deck since sunrise—maybe even a little before. It’s all a blur at this point, the sleep you got and didn’t get, the numerous scenarios you talked through with Davis until you couldn’t stand it anymore, the physical ache your body feels knowing Rafe is within your reach just down the road, all you wanted since August, and you’re not even being held by him.

The skyline of the town you grew up in, beautiful and familiar as it is, isn’t enough to distract you from your thoughts; if you overthought it, if you’re making him wait too long, if the way you feel like Rafe’s an ocean whose tide has always been pulling you in should scare you. Or if you should just run into it, arms and heart open, let him crash over you in waves.

“You’re up early,” your dad says from behind you, two mugs of coffee in hand. You shake your head and smile as you accept one from him, shaky hands settling around the warm ceramic as you bring it to rest in your lap.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“I know,” your dad chuckles. “Heard you stomping around all night. Thought Rafe might have been scaling the wall again.”

“That was one time,” you say around a smile. Rafe still has no idea your dad knew he was sneaking into the house all summer, and couldn’t care less considering he liked Rafe and you were both grown. Your dad had texted you the security camera footage the very next morning: ‘Might wanna tell your boyfriend if he isn’t going to hide his gigantic truck down the block anymore, he may as well start using the front door, too.’ You never shared it with Rafe because you knew he’d quite literally never come over again, and you were a teeny bit selfish.

Your heart sinks a little at the specific memory, Rafe showing up in the middle of the night. So worried about you—seeking your reassurances when you were the one that had been holding back. The first time your relationship was tested, and all it took to iron it out was you being openly vulnerable with your feelings for him.

You have to sideline the memory to give your dad your full attention—or as much of it as you can muster. “But I did see him yesterday, at the store.”

Your dad looks over from where he’d settled into a deck chair next to you. “Did you? That explains the stomping. And the fact that you came home with nothing.”

Your cheeks heat up, realizing for the first time he was right. You might have bid Rafe a good night quick enough that your family (sans Dylan, who texted you immediately to ask if that was Rafe’s truck he heard outside) didn’t see him on the porch, but you guess your dad was more attentive than you thought. “Yeah.”

“What’d you think? Need me to straighten him out for you?”

You roll your eyes, finally bringing your coffee up for a sip. You figure you can’t get any more nerve-y at this point, and you could use the extra energy as you tried to plan the rest of your day. “No, dad. It’s not like that.”

“I’m teasing, I’m teasing,” he says, a hand patting your forearm gingerly where it rests on the chair arm. “I know it’s not.”

“He’s not—he loves me, dad. I know he does,” you sigh, eyes welling up. “I don’t know why I’m holding back.”

“You’re protecting yourself. Maybe a little too much.”

You furrow your eyebrows, looking over at him. “Is that bad?”

“Not all the time,” he says, drinking his own coffee. “I’d rather you be too careful than not enough.”

Too careful. It’s something that you’d always been in so many different ways, but especially when it came to boys and love—when it came to Rafe Cameron.

It started with completely ignoring him whenever you couldn’t hide your feelings around him as a young teenager, no longer talking whenever he’d join a group, sitting as far away from him as possible in whatever classes you shared—even though you’d somehow always get paired up anyways. And it evolved into this practiced indifference that came across as disinterest once you two got older, once Rafe seemed to discover girls and you boys, but never each other. Even though you always knew. Even though you couldn’t help the times you slipped up around him, looked at him too long or pushed a “just friends” boundary too far, and could now look back and recognize the moments when he couldn’t either. These random moments of longing that never amounted to anything, and then you ran far, far away from him.

But the distance and the lessened communication that came with college did nothing to help you shake him. Just like Rafe, you were always prying for information from your friends, or seeking him out at house parties during spring breaks, even if just to exchange greetings and a quick hug. It was just years of hiding, pining, running—until you couldn’t run anymore, until you didn’t want to.

And you realize, you still don’t. And you’ll never want to again.

“Okay,” you say, standing abruptly, handing your coffee off to your dad. He smiles up at you. “I’m gonna go.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Where is this you’re going?” your mom says, making her way out to the patio as well, looking far too put together for this early in the morning. “Will you be back by lunch? You said you’d be home to help before tomorrow, remember? Speaking of—did you invite Rafe?”

“I’m going to see him,” you say, barely paying attention to your mom’s rambles until you hear his name. “Right now, actually.”

“Y/n,” your mother says, sounding slightly scandalized, taking in your attire. “Well not like that you’re not. At least run a brush through your hair, or put on a dress, sweetie—”

But you don’t care, can barely hear her, your messy hair and old embroidered college sweatshirt a mere afterthought as you made your way back into the house in search of your car keys.

“Relax, honey,” you hear your dad reassure her. “Rafe won’t care.”

—

If you could focus on anything besides how nervous you were, you might be the slightest bit regretful you hadn’t taken your mom’s advice. It was a rough night, and you could see it in your face as you sat parked outside of Tannyhill, the driving visor in your Range Rover flipped down so you could take in your appearance. Your best bet is to at least throw on some backup perfume and cherry chapstick from your center console, which you still don’t even do, forcing yourself out of the car as soon as you clock only Sarah and Rafe’s cars parked in the driveway. You really didn’t mind seeing Rose most of the time, but seeing Ward’s SUV in the driveway on the rare occasions Rafe would invite you over to Tannyhill was always enough to put you on edge, so you’re thankful when they’re nowhere to be found even at the early hour.

It’s not until you’re walking up the path to the front door that it dawns on you your realization moment had come nearly at the crack of dawn, the sun higher in the sky at this point but still low enough to paint it hues of pink and blue.

“Y/n?”

Your second thoughts about the early hour dispel at the sound of Sarah’s voice, and you’re waving at her lamely as she looks at you in disbelief. Ah, so Rafe had told her. “Hey, Sarah.”

“Uh, hey,” she says, breaking into a smile. “What are you doing here?”

“Rafe’s home, right?”

“Yeah, he’s home. Think he’s swimming though,” she says, making your eyes widen. “Don’t worry, inside. And Wheezie went to work with Rose.”

“Ah,” you say, nodding in understanding. You rock back onto the balls of your feet a bit awkwardly, hands clasped in front of you. “So, uh—how’s school? Did you end up rushing?”

“No,” she says, smiling. “My friend, Kie—she has this whole thing. Apparently sororities can be, like, wildly unethical?”

You nod, feeling yourself relax a little at the menial conversation. Sarah had always been great at talking your ear off whenever you came around, not that you minded. You always saw the effort Rafe put into connecting with Dylan, and you had no problem doing the same. “Well, I hope you’re still having fun.”

“Yeah,” she says, adjusting her bag in her arms, still smiling at you. “Are you here to like, talk to him… or—”

Sarah’s mischievous prying is thankfully cut off when the crunch of gravel distracts you both, signaling another vehicle pulling up in the driveway—the most disgusting brown van you’ve ever seen in your life.

Your unlikely partner in crime is waving from the driver’s seat to Sarah. But then John B sees you and he just points, a huge smile on his face. You have to refrain from laughing in disbelief, just smiling and pointing right back at him before you finally turn and make your way inside the house, patting a confused Sarah on the shoulder as you pass her by. “Have fun!”

The house is practically dead silent when you enter, the echo of the sound of the door clicking shut bouncing off of the walls.

The drive here and the walk-up was all fueled by pure adrenaline, surprise, fumes, sleep deprivation—who knows. Pretty much anything but the courage you actually needed.

Now you stand in Rafe’s foyer, only your insecurities standing between you and what you wanted. You blackout on the walk down the hall to the Camerons’ indoor pool—hardly the Olympic size Rafe was used to at Kildare Academy, but he said it did the job. If he wasn’t swimming in it during off-season, he was sneaking you and a group of friends in when his dad was out of town in high school—more often than not ignoring anyone else in the vicinity while he hovered around you.

But with so much time spent away you realize you no longer immediately associate Rafe’s home with the high school days—those memories replaced by the last summer you spent here. Intimidating dinners with his family, the random glass of wine with Rose every now and then, hangs with Kelce and Topper in the pool house, the times you’d crouched over the dining room table to help Wheezie with her practice SAT essays.

Rafe sneaking you upstairs to his room whenever he could, leading you out to the Druthers with a smile on his face, or the two of you quietly slipping down to the cellar near the basement to grab a bottle of wine before you went to sit on the porch swing and watch the sunset together. This version of Rafe that used to seem new, but was in actuality all too familiar.

You roll your neck and take one last shaky breath before you’re sliding the door to the pool room open.

He’s sitting on the side of the pool when you enter, chest heaving like he’d just finished a few laps, looking down at where his legs rest in the water. His hair is a wet mess, his goggles pulled up to his forehead. Rafe must not hear the door, because he makes no immediate move, stuck staring into the turquoise water until you clear your throat.

“Y/n/n?”

You’re both frozen for a second, until you speak again, realizing he was waiting for you to respond. “Rafe, hi.”

“W-what are you doing here?” he asks, his facial features slipping into worry once he assesses yours. “What’s wrong?”

“Can you—” you gesture wildly to where he’s still in the pool.

“Yeah,” he says, lifting himself over the edge. He grabs a towel resting over one of the chairs, running it quickly over his body and his hair, and part of you is just a little angry he’s shirtless and dripping wet while you’re trying to have this conversation with him—a conversation that requires judgment and focus. “What’s up?”

“I’ve been thinking. A lot,” you start. “Since last night. I really didn’t sleep that much.”

“Okay,” he nods, hands on his hips. He runs the towel over his hair again, gesturing to one of the chaise lounges as he nears you. “Do you… wanna sit?”

You shake your head firmly. “No.”

He sighs, shoulders deflating. His hair is stuck up every which way, goggle impressions encircling his eyes. You know he only swims nowadays when he’s stressed. “Okay. Whenever you wanna—you look… you’re scaring me, sweetheart.“

“No,” you say, hopefully stopping that thought before he can even think it, shaking your hands out. “No, don’t be scared. I’m just, like, really trying to hype myself up a bit here.”

“No?” he asks, stepping closer to you. “Y/n, I know you needed time. And I don’t mind, I was even thinking… if you need it, we could wait ‘til the holidays? And then we can talk again. I mean, I’ll still be… yours and everything—“

You shake your head again. No more time, no more waiting.

“No, no more time. I don’t want any more time, Rafe. I want…” you trail off, a hand coming to cradle the side of his face, your thumb swiping under his eye and your other fingers tangled into his wet hair. Rafe holds his breath, eyes never straying from your own as you search his entire face. “I want you. Now. We’ve already waited so long, and—I love you, Rafe. And I knew you were struggling a-and I didn’t say anything because I was scared, and I didn’t want you to know that I knew you were freaking out—and I should’ve just fucking told you about the baby as soon as I found out—”

Rafe grabs your hand where it’s on his face, squeezing it lightly. “Y/n/n, hey. No that’s okay, really—”

“No, it’s not, Rafe. Because I was worried just like you were, and I wanted to keep all of the hard stuff away because finally letting myself fall in love with you was just like—it was so easy, Rafe. Like I always thought it would be since I was a kid. But I wasn’t ready for the hard parts,” you say, breathing heavily at this point, trying to ground yourself through your touch on his face. “I thought it’d be easier to just not deal with it, but then not having you—after I finally got you. That was the actual hard part.”

Rafe just nods. “I know.”

“So it’s gonna be hard sometimes, yeah? But we have to figure it out,” you say. “I wanna figure it out with you. Everything with your dad, and where we end up, all of it.”

“I know, me too.”

“But you have to—Rafe,” you say, your voice breaking. You can finally say it, what you bit back at the airport, what some part of you had always known. “You have to know you’re it for me, right? Like there’s nothing—there’s nobody else better for me, that can give me more or be what you think I need, there’s nobody, baby—it’s just you.”

“It’s me?”

“It’s you,” you breathe. “So you don’t get to just freak out and break up with me.”

“Fuck—I know, never. I mean it.”

“You know?”

“I know.”

“So, can you—”

“Gonna kiss you now, Y/l/n.”

And Rafe’s glancing between your eyes and your lips several times, then finally bringing you into the kiss you’d been aching for for weeks, neither of you paying any mind to the way his hair is dripping water onto your forehead, his wet swim trunks leaving a watermark on your sweatshirt and jeans where he has your hips pulled flush into his, one hand on your back and the other immediately in your hair. He pulls back after a while, practically gasping. “I love you. So fucking much.”

“Love you too,” you say, arms around his neck as you tug him back down. “Missed you.”

“Missed you. More,” he claims, pulling back long enough to look into your eyes. “And I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

“No more secrets, for real this time,” he says, a hand under your chin. He kisses you when you nod. “I’ll tell you everything later.”

“And Rafe, with your dad… I just really want you to be happy, okay?” you say, pulling back to stare into his eyes. “I don’t care if he doesn’t like us together. Figure it out however you need to, and I’ll be there for you.”

Rafe sighs, eyes slipping shut as he thinks for a second. “I know. I’m figuring that one out, Y/n/n. It’s not going to be easy, but… think I have my priorities in order now.”

“Me too,” you smile, so happy that your breakup is already something you’re talking about in past tense. You bite your lip, eyes flicking across his face before you venture on. “I want you to know that I haven’t watered your plant once, by the way. And it’s still alive and kicking.”

Rafe grins at that, all attempts to keep you dry completely gone as he finally pushes you back into the main part of the house, hands firm on your hips. “Well, I didn’t even open that essay you edited. Found an old draft and just turned it in. B minus.”

“Rafe, I would’ve gotten you an A,” you say, reaching up and kissing just his bottom lip. You swipe your thumb over it, grin matching his.

“I will buy you a new plant,” he says, hand sliding into the strands of hair at the nape of your neck, still attempting to kiss you, talk to you, and lead you through Tannyhill simultaneously. “Promise. And you should also know you and those stupid jeans ruined my favorite movie franchise for me.”

You laugh out loud at that, fading into giggles as Rafe pecks your cheeks and chin where you’re pressed up against the stair banister, making his way down your neck before he has to pull himself back. “Yeah? Haven’t been able to listen to that indie band you hate in weeks, Cameron.”

“Okay, I’m not apologizing for that one,” Rafe laughs, the sound resonating in your chest. “I did you a favor. Also, I kept finding your hair everywhere.”

“Mm, wait—kinda love that one,” you preen, a hand scratching lightly at his scalp. “Still mine?”

“Still yours. Always been yours, baby,” Rafe says, glint in his eye when he pulls back again. “You didn’t correct that waiter at dinner, in California, did you Y/n Cameron?”

You have to push him off of you just long enough to actually make it inside of his bedroom—which he obviously makes harder than it needs to be. And then it’s water dripping all over the floor, your shoes being kicked off, a flurry of your bodies trying to reconnect in every single way as your voices did the same.

“I know. And I kept your shirt after you left,” you practically whine, still flustered from his last confession, letting him strip you of your sweatshirt as he presses kisses down your neck.

“Knew it was missing. I thought you might have added it to the collection,” Rafe laughs, walking you back toward his unmade bed easily. Your skin sings at the familiar brush of his cotton sheets. “That has to be at least five at this point.”

You just look up at him where he’s still standing over you, smirk on your lips. “Well. Six, if you count high school.”

“Mine,” Rafe breathes, practically melting down into you, lips pressing into every accessible part of your skin, two fingers tugging one of your bra straps down and to the side when he runs out of room. “Always been mine, too, yeah?”

“Yes, Rafe, fuck,” you keen, feeling his hand finally slip to the button of your jeans. He pauses his work on your neck, leaning back to gauge a reaction from you before he continues.

“Can I?”

“Please,” you nod, nerves on fire as he finally drags your jeans down your legs, dropping them to the floor underneath him. It’s barely 7AM, you got here maybe ten minutes ago, and you know you must look a disheveled and over-tired mess by the time Rafe has you nearly bare and back in his bed again.

But your boy just looks down at you in wonder, one hand holding himself up as the other tries to find a place to settle on your body, finally resting on the side of your face, thumbing at your bottom lip. He leans down for a searing kiss, basically just two smiles pressing together when the lust momentarily wears off and you’re both just grinning idiots; Rafe pulls back just far enough to whisper something against your lips.

“Hi again, dream girl.”

—

your eyes left your phone screen to look down at jj, currently standing in the pool and between your legs as your ankles dangled from the edge, both his hands resting on your thighs with his fingers gently stroking the exposed skin.

you locked your phone with a sigh, the screen going dark and hiding the recent pictures in your camera roll that had your attention before the boy’s dumb question made its way to your ears—it was previously open on one taken by rafe earlier this day, in the exact second jj pulled you by your waist and jumped into rafe’s pool with you because he didn’t like that you didn’t want to get you hair wet.

you didn’t even have to ask what jj was talking about, you knew he was referring to him and rafe because you’ve already had this conversation before—more than once. for some reason, jj was obsessed with the idea of getting you to tell them which one of the two you thought was a better boyfriend, no matter how many times you had told both of him that you could never pick because you love them both equally.

“are you really bringing this up again?” you grumbled, looking over at rafe at the other side of the pool in search of support in your attempt of making jj just drop this subject already. what you found, though, was a very intrigued look in his eyes as he seemed to wait for your answear as well. unbelievable. you scoffed and repeated for what felt like the hundredth time: “i don’t have a favorite!”

you saw jj’s eyes roll to the back of his head in sheer annoyance before he turned his back to you, shaking his head. “bullshit. you just don’t wanna admit i’m your favorite in front of rafe because it’ll hurt the prince’s feelings.”

“it wouldn’t if i knew she was lying.” you thought jj’s neck might have just snapped with the speed he turned his head towards rafe after his retort. rafe only shrugged, the hint of his cocky smirk forming at the corner of his mouth. “there’s no way you’re her favorite, dude.”

you huffed loudly, pushing your arms against the edge of the pool to gather impulse so you could get into the water—a sharp shiver ran down your spine while you did so, you’ve been out for hours now and night was already beggining to fall, bringing a cold breeze with it. you opened your mouth to start arguing once you were face to face with jj, but he was already talking over your unspoken protest.

“right, we get it. you don’t have a favorite.” his imitation of your voice was way too convincing your own liking—you felt your jaw slacking and heard rafe snort from afar when he tried to hold back a laugh. “but i have to be your favorite in something. who fucks you better?”

you couldn’t help it then, you burst out laughing. of course he had to ask that. you couldn’t even say you were surprised, you only turned away from him, swimming backwards to nowhere specifically, while muttering a small “jesus christ…” under your breath.

“i do, obviously.” you heard rafe say from somewhere behind you. “i’m older, have got more experience.”

“that doesn’t even make any sense!” jj almost shouted in return, the way his tone had turned defensive almost making another laugh pop out of you. “well, i have the biggest cock. we all know that.”

“no, you actually don’t.”

“oh my god, i literally cannot believe you’re comparing sizes right now.” you turned to rafe as you said, catching him already grinning at you in the process. “i have the urge to break up with you guys at least three times a day, did you know that?”

you sensed a tug on the strings of your bikini top, knowing it was jj approaching you without having to look back. a second later, you felt his chest touch your back. “don’t you even joke about that, princess. you would never be able to live without us, though.”

you only rolled your eyes in response, but you felt your lips tugging upward in a small smile. when you turned your attention back to rafe, he was starting to make his way towards you and when he had come close enough to do so, landed an arm across your shoulder to pull you away from jj.

“c’mon, let’s get inside.” he said, profusely ignoring the offended glare jj sent him from stealing you from him. you stiffled a small giggle, waiting for rafe to push himself out of the pool so he could help you out as well. “we need to get y/n drunk enough to admit she likes me better.”

you scoffed once again, now the one to be slightly offended. rafe offered his hands to you from the edge of the pool with a cheeky grin stretching across his lips, and you brought your hand up to splash water right on his face. “like this would work. i never get that drunk.”

you accepted his hands to pull you out nonetheless, and jj lifted you up by your waist from behind to offer more help—which you discretely chuckled at. it was always like that whenenver they would try to make you pick a favored one, doing everything to prove they were best than the other at every small thing. you were not minding at all though, you liked the attention and watch jj maybank and rafe cameron, a duo you never thought was going to work out together in anything, get all competitive over you was perhaps the most intertaining thing you’ve ever experienced.

once you were out, you went to cross your arms around to waist to try and provide you some warmth in the cool night air, but then rafe grasped your hand to intertwine your fingers with his, and you walked like that towards his house with jj following close behind.

“y/n, on the last time we did a drink night,” you heard him start, reminding you of the conversation you were just having before. “you punched me in the throat because i tried to kiss you.”

rafe let out a loud laugh, and you gasped while whirling around to point an accusing finger at jj, who wore the biggest grin ever on his face. “that was a one time thing! you caught me off guard!”

“silenzio bruno! silenzio bruno!”

the sounds of the movie playing on your television filled your ears. the three of you were on the couch, your fingers were running through tommy’s hair as his head laid on your lap.

it was far past his bedtime, but he insisted on watching luca before bed, a movie that he claimed was his favorite.

his soft yawn caught your attention, watching as his eyes slowly droop.

“okay, mister, time for bed.” you whispered, pausing the movie.

“but mommy, i didn’t get to watch my favorite part!” tommy whined sleepily as he rubbed his eyes to oust his fatigue.

“we’ll get to your favorite part tomorrow, okay? but right now it’s time for you to sleep,” you promised, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he sat up on your lap.

“c’mon, bud,” rafe smiled, extending his arms towards him to carry him to his bedroom. “say good night to mommy.”

“g’night, mommy.” he yawned once more before burying his face in rafe’s neck.

rafe opened the door to tommy’s bedroom, careful not to step on any of his scattered toys as he walked across the room.

as soon as he got him in bed, rafe turned on the star projector he bought for him for his second birthday, watching as the lights occupied the whole room.

he tucked the sleepy tommy in and planted a kiss on his forehead. “good night, tommy.”

“good night, daddy.” tommy whispered as his eyes fluttered shut, sleep finally taking over.

rafe froze, and he swore his heart stopped beating for a moment. he blinked, his mouth opening and closing in shock.

“what- what was that, tommy?” he whispered, slightly shaking the toddler. “hey bud, can you- can you say that again?”

he stared expectantly at the sleeping toddler, waiting for his response with high hopes.

when all he got in return was soft snores, he sighed, moving tommy’s hair away from his face and planted one last kiss on his forehead.

rafe looked back at him once more, a soft smile on his lips, before heading back out.

“hey, is he asleep?”

rafe looked up to see you preparing the gaming console. you raised mario kart and tekken, silently asking which game he prefers.

he pointed at mario kart and answered, “yeah.”

you and rafe spent the next hour playing mario kart. he could hear you occasionally whispering profanities at the other drivers. usually, he’d join in, the both of you would curse the other drivers together as you munched on some chips, and talk trash like a bunch of teenagers, but tonight, he was especially quiet.

you momentarily glanced at him before turning your attention back to the screen. “you okay, love?”

“tommy called me dad.” he blurted out, though his eyes were still trained on the television.

you froze, and immediately pressed paused on the game. “what?”

rafe had a prominent smile on his face, and it was making his cheeks hurt, but he doesn’t care. he was happy.

“he called me dad.” he laughed, tears of joy slowly blurring his eyes. his heart was nearly leaping off his chest at the warm feeling fluttering in his chest.

“oh, rafe,” you let out a watery smile, leaning across the couch to bring him into a hug. “god, that’s amazing.”

“yeah, i was- i don’t-“ he let out a shaky breath. “i never expected it, y’know?”

you nodded, listening to him as he continued to tell you how he feels.

“i mean, tommy deserves so much. i try my best to be his best friend, and that’s all i ever wanted to be for him,” he puffed out a content sigh. “but fuck, i need to step up my game now.”

rafe paused for a moment. sure, he was over the moon that his girlfriend’s son sees him as his dad, but would he even remember it when he wakes up? what if it was just a minor slip-up?

every what-if question and self-doubt started to cloud his mind, and you could practically hear the gears turning in his head.

“what if i don’t turn out to be the best for tommy?” he frowned, running a hand through his hair.

you grabbed his fidgeting hand and intertwined it with yours to calm him down. “you don’t have to worry about a thing, okay, rafe?”

“tommy loves you. he adores you.” you reassured him. “he looks up to you, y’know?”

“that’s what got me so worked up,” rafe confessed, leaning back against the couch. “what if i do something horrible, and tommy— he’ll be disappointed in me.”

“he’ll never be disappointed in you, rafe,” you pecked his lips. “because you’re one of the best things that ever happened to him— to us, and so far you haven’t screwed anything up, so you’ll be fine.”

“you promise?” he asked, wanting to hear the words from you, a comforting reassurance to ease his anxiety.

“you want me to make a pinky promise?” you teased him, wiggling your pinky finger at him.

rafe playfully rolled his eyes at you before tackling you on the couch. he buried his face into your neck, completely crushing you with his weight, but you didn’t mind.

you turned the television off and combed your fingers through his hair. your lips graced a soft smile as you felt him pepper light kisses on your neck.

“you know we love you, right?” you whispered, planting a kiss on his head.

“yeah.” he hummed. rafe didn’t think he’s ever been so content with the life he’s living right now, but he sure as hell would never take it for granted. “i love you, too.”