f.

he's on the phone, he's watching a movie, or he's not alone at all. you're hoping it's not the third option. the thought makes you sick.

"ugh, sh-shit," chris' distinct but strangled voice breaks through the sound barrier as you listen intently.

you know it's probably wrong to be eavesdropping. it's definitely wrong. an invasion of privacy regardless of what is actually happening, but you can't bring yourself to pull away.

your heart sinks hearing a muffled moan on the other side. well what you assume is a moan. that's your cue to walk away, but before your feet can even lift off the ground, his projected voice rattles against the door again.

"fuck, y/n" he enunciates your name so clearly, but your brain doesn't register it. you convince yourself that you're hearing what you want to hear.

against your better judgement, you drape your hand on the door handle and brace yourself to twist it open. when you finally do, letting yourself in, you close it softly, stepping feather light into his bedroom and staying close to the door.

when you turn around, your breath hitches in your throat. chris is on his back on the bed, eyes are shut tight, neck strained back into his pillow and his right hand wrapped is around his cock.

he's jerking himself off with passion. his jaw is slacked open and his adam's apple is prominent with every swallow that passes.

"fuuuck, y/n, keep going" he whimpers out, and you wish you could be in his head in that moment. you're dying to know what fantasy is playing out while he moans your name.

you squeeze your thighs together at the sight, and have a feeling you could start drooling if you opened your mouth. you bite your bottom lip, trying to stay quiet, not sure whether you should leave or stay.

you're too far gone, either way.

you're so lost in the sight of his grip around his throbbing tip that's glistening in pre-cum. he's rotating his wrist and putting all of his movement into his thick base, thumb dancing across his slit which makes his breath shudder, giving squeezes with each rub.

you inhale sharply against your will, exposing your presence. chris's eyes flutter open and he sits up suddenly, stopping his motions quickly.

"fuck" he spits, but his tone wasn't pleasant at all. not like those sweet sounds he was letting slip a moment ago. it was panicked. laced with worry.

you don't even give him a chance to react to seeing your figure. you're both in a trance.

"keep going." your voice is gentle.

"wh-what?" his tense shoulders visibly soften at your lack of a bad reaction.

"finish what you started, chris." you step further into the room, nearing his bed. he follows you with his eyes.

"th-this is not how i wanted you to find out," chris sounds out of breath when he speaks, following you with his eyes as you stroll closer to his mattress, kneeling on it, causing a ripple in his navy blue quilt.

“find out what?” you crawl onto the edge of the bed, holding eye contact with him.

you’re trying so hard to ignore the fact that he’s still slowly stroking himself, keeping himself firm. his bottom lip has a thin layer of saliva from where his tongue was rolled over it in focus.

“that i think of you like this” chris whimpers as his palm rolls over the head of his cock, keeping a teasing momentum as you settle yourself.

you lean back on your elbows, facing chris, legs arched as you hike them onto the bed fully and your feet almost touching his.

“that you think of me when you touch yourself?” you reach for the hem of your sweatpants, inching them down your waist so they're sat just below your bellybutton.

chris is giving an intense stare, his long wavy hair sweat drenched and a mess on his forehead. his plain black tee is scrunched up past his abdomen, clearing the view of his snail trail and prominent hip bones. his calvin klien boxers are tossed to the floor, grey sweat pants piled over them.

"i think about you all the time" he manages to respond, his voice barely above a whisper. he sounds so enamoured, entranced in his own thoughts and undressing you with his eyes.

"is that so?" you smirk, knowing you'll never be able to let that sentence go.

he nods, slowing his strokes almost to a complete halt.

"ah-uh, don't stop" you grin, shuffling your pants down to your ankles, making chris's cheeks flush red.

your exposed grey panties have a dark patch growing, and chris is looking. he's making sure you know that he's looking. he's snapshotting it in his brain. his blue eyes are fixed on the thought on what's behind that fabric.

"hearing you say that is gonna make me-" he trembles.

"cum? you gonna cum, chris?" you have no idea what's possessed you to be so forward.

maybe it's seeing him so vulnerable, so exposed. knowing that you are what he's about to get off to. you have him wrapped around your finger.

"fuck, y/n. you have no idea what you're doing to me right now" he throws his head back and shuts his eyes tight. when he drops his head forward again, you've already stripped your lower half completely.

"i think it's pretty clear" you take in all the features of his thick cock, pussy trembling at the thought of it between your legs.

with that, your legs are parting as you hold your gaze and chris looks like he's about to pass out.

his mouth is hung open, he's licking his bottom lip again slowly, and he murmurs out a slow, groaned, "fuuuck" watching you dance two fingers down your body and tease your thighs, just gliding around the crease where your leg meets your hip.

"is this really happening?" chris asks, rubbing himself at a steady pace, small cocky grin growing as you tease him with your actions.

"do you want it to?" your hand stops on your body just before you reach your heat, making sure you're not about fuck up everything between you two, permanently.

"yes, please, yes" he begs, stroking faster as his eyes dilate and glue to your pussy that you have on full display for him. just for him.

“so pathetic” you grin, licentiously, and it almost makes chris ejaculate then and there.

"i haven't even started touching myself yet and you're a mess"

"oh fuck, keep talking" he whimpers, watching intensely as your index finger finally glides over your wet, ready clit. the way his words are so dire as he implore you to continue.

"do you imagine that's my hand when you fuck yourself, chris?" a sweetness in your tone that makes his stomach knot, contrasting the unseemly actions you're playing out.

"m-mouth" he splutters. you grin.

you let out a small, airy moan at your cold fingers circling over your throbbing pearl, and watching him is making your heart race faster.

"keep going. fuck your hand, chris" your moaning reply challenges him, breath overpowering any strength that your vocal chords are fighting against.

it's surreal, watching him pleasure himself at the thought, sound, sight of you. it's making you clench your core, heightening your feelings and arousal even more.

"this is so hot" the words fall from his mouth as he squeezes his cock hard, hard enough that he hisses through his teeth, like he’s trying to hold back. his eyes twitch into a squint.

"look at me" you moan through inserting a single finger into yourself, and chris exhales heavy.

"if i do i'm gonna fucking cum" he almost sounds annoyed in himself, that he won't get to enjoy you if he lets go first.

"and i'm gonna watch you do it" you smirk, sliding your finger in and out of yourself, the wet, squelching sounds bouncing off the walls.

a sticky, luminesce patch is puddling underneath you. it's mixed with the sound of chris pounding his fist around his cock.

"when did you get so fucking dirty, huh?" he chuckles, breathlessly.

"did you want me to stop?" you taunt. he shakes his head miserably.

"don't you dare" his eyes blink a few times, to keep himself aware. to keep them open and on you, even if it's about to push him over the edge.

chris brings his hand to his mouth, spitting in his palm aggressively before wrapping around himself again, and you gulp at the vision. he's actively trying to match your pace, intently gazing at the way you slide in and out, in and out, of your cunt.

"fuck" you exhale, switching to use all four of your fingers to rub faster, creating a violent friction across every sensitive part of your heat.

"you look so pretty, all spread out for me" chris's voice is hoarse and tired, a lazy smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth before he bites into his lower lip, hard, and rotates his wrist around his shaft.

you watch his stomach tense, a quick rise and fall of his skin as he tosses his head back and groans loudly.

"fuckin-sh-shit" he lets out, jaw tense. he rubs himself faster, loudly, forcefully.

"y/n, i can't hold- i can't" he sounds so needy when he groans your name, desperate to release.

you're biting the inside of your cheek, trying to contain your own orgasm to allow him to let go, so you can enjoy the show.

"fuck, y/n" he almost screams when he finally finishes, eyes shut so tight that deep wrinkles form across his face from the intensity.

you watch his lower stomach and your own thigh get painted by his warm cum.

"ch-chris, ahhhh fuck," you can't help but let out a euphoric porn-star moan as he finishes hard, and you stop edging yourself. focusing on your middle finger rapidly, passionately massaging your clit until you too, break.

you suck air through your teeth sharply before exhaling your moans, broken and jagged. a sultry laugh escapes your lips as chris watches in awe.

"holy shit" he breathes out. you can almost hear his swallow at the sudden silence filling his bedroom.

"h-hang on, let me" he suddenly worries, dragging himself off the bed to swiftly grab a clean bath towel he has hung behind his door.

you drop back onto his bed, arms artfully behind your head as you smile, watching him. when chris returns you, he's hovering over you.

his free hand presses into the mattress beside your head as he wipes your thigh clean, gently. he cleans himself himself off quickly, grinning like an idiot looking down at you.

you're in a stare off, lust still prominent in both of your glossy eyes. he flashes his teeth, chuckling through his nose.

"you were pretty quick to join in when you caught me, y'know" he puts you on the spot, scrunching up the towel and tossing it onto the floor.

"well you-" you start tracing the veins on his forearm with your nails.

"-were fantasising about me" you reply with raillery.

"that, i was doing" his eyebrows bounce in a 'you got me' way.

your hand grabs his wrist, tugging it toward you, implying that you want him closer. he leans in from above you, his eyes staring at your lips, craving.

"what else do you think about, chris?" you whisper, as he lowers his face closer, and closer to yours.

there's a hunger in the way his big hand engulfs the side of your face, your own fingers still in contact with his wrist, not wanting to let him go as he pulls you to him by your jaw.

you can smell his cologne, a mix with the sweat that glazes his body. oddly enough, you enjoy it. it's a musky, spicy intoxication that fills your senses.

inches away from your mouth, his plump, peachy lips graze your own. your noses touch and his face is so warm, still flushed.

"let me show you"

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he usually plays with your hair whenever he’s in distress, so it being a way of comforting you is a change. matt isn’t touchy feely with anyone beside you.

"want me to kiss it better?" he adds, making you chuckle as you melt into your best friends touch.

“that might help, honestly. nothing else is working” you joke back.

matt, however, was not kidding.

“okay” he replies.

he’s watched you take ibuprofen every two hours, use a heat pack, support yourself with a pillow, contort yourself into unbelievable positions trying to get situated in a spot that makes you ache less. so, if this is the last resort, he’s not taking it lightly.

“what?” you look up at him through your eyelashes, playing with the loose threads of his burgundy silk sheets.

“i will” he reassures.

he shuffles his body further down the bed, sliding past yours. his palm rests on the curve of your knee, over the sheets, and pushes it down, forcing you to lay flat.

“if that’s okay with you” he glides down further, stomach pressed to the mattress as his face nears your stomach.

“i hate seeing you in pain” he adds on.

your lack of rebuttal isn’t enough of a green light, so he looks up at you from your hip, gently grazing the tips of his fingers on the hem of your shirt.

it could be the hormones, but any touch at all from matt feels unorthodox in this moment. you’re clenching through your sweatpants, chills covering your body.

a wave of insecurity rushes over you. it’s not like he hasn’t seen you before, but he hasn’t truly seen you. every emotion and feeling is heightened as you nod, and he lifts up your shirt exposing your naval.

“right here?” he grins, and your chest is rising and falling with worn, deep breaths.

“right there” you watch him intently.

“m’kay” he lowers his mouth onto your exposed skin.

his lips are warm as he presses a slow, short kiss just below your bellybutton. you’re almost positive he can feel the goosebumps rising. he trails another kiss along your lower stomach, narrowly edging your pelvic lines.

unintentionally, your breath hitches, making a small gasp part your lips.

“y’like that, huh?” matt perks up, and your cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“get back up here, oh my god” you erupt into laughter, trying to conceal any hint of shame.

“alright alright” he mumbles almost disgruntled, pushing himself up like he’s doing a push up then dropping back to your side.

“did that help, pumpkin? does your tummy feel better?” he teases, scooting closer to you and taking your head on his lap, so you can use his lower half like a body pillow to curl into.

you slap his leg, telling him to stop being such a smartass.

“it does not, but thank you for trying” you tiredly exhale a yawn, and he starts rubbing the back your neck comfortingly.

“so, what will actually help?” you can envision the sincere concentration on his face when he asks, all the curiosities running through his mind about what’s going on in your body.

matthew doesn’t believe that curiosity killed the cat, he's adamant ignorance did. meaning, he’s on a need-to-know basis for everything about you. anyone else, he couldn’t care less.

“well actually, what you were doing, but, ah” you ramble.

“but?” he pushes.

“but… lower?” you grimace at your choice of words, feeling matt almost stop breathing under you.

“oh” he speak in a “ah-huh” tone.

“maybe not exactly that, but along those lines” you continue.

“d-did you want me to, keep goin-”

“matthew!” you almost screech, sitting up abruptly with shock painted on your face.

“what? you suggested it!” he throws his arms in defence.

“you asked me a question!” you throw back.

“yeah okay and, y’know, you implied…”

“oh no” you shove your hands in your face, then into the pillow, hoping to suffocate in the process.

you could vanish at the thought of looking him in the eye again.

“hey now, don’t be silly” matt grabs your wrists in his strong, much stronger, grasp, restricting you from hiding again.

“i was just trying to educate you” you frown, and he scoffs.

“i’m more of a hands-on learner” he flashes a cocky grin and narrowed eyes, playing into your humiliation.

your jaw slacks open, dumbfounded by his blasé demeanour.

“you wouldn’t know what to do if it was served to you on a silver platter” you wrestle in his grip, and it’s officially war.

“take that back” his eyes are laser focused on yours now, and you’re trying not to crack a smile.

“no” you refuse.

matt grabs your wrists, using his legs to flip you over. he straddles your thighs, pinning you down.

“let me show you then” he sounds slightly out of breath, licking his bottom lip as he looks down at you.

“even if i wanted to entertain that idea, i’m still on my period, in case you forgot”

“what’s the point of having a sword if you can’t get a little blood on it?”

“matthew bernard, that was foul” you kick his stomach lightly, just enough to tackle him out of keeping you held down.

you grab a pillow and start to pelt him with it, and he’s erupting into laughter.

“okay, okay! enough, i’m sorry” he takes control of the pillow and tosses it across the room, knocking into a framed photo on the wall, but he doesn’t care. he’s fixated on you.

“there’s gotta be something we can do to settle this” he adds on as you admit defeat.

"what are you willing to do?" you scrunch your face.

"whatever you want"

your mind has been made up. you sit cross legged next to him, huffing stray hairs from your eyes, probably looking a mess.

“there is one way i can think of” you ponder, trying to see if he’s being serious or just shit-stirring. if he wants to play with your feelings, now is not the time.

“if it’s gonna help you, i will” matt leans against his headboard, putting the ball in your court.

you crawl, slowly, once again next to matt. you mirror his positioning, perched up against the headboard, shoulder to shoulder with him. your breathing slows, and matt raises an eyebrows. he's waiting for you.

“if you mean it, give me your hand” you put your own out, and wait for him to take it.

almost too quickly, he does. you envelop his warm, thick fingers in yours and guide his hand between your legs, over your sweatpants. you can hear matt's breath more prominent in your ear, as his jaw slacks open, and eyes follow your guidance.

he presses his palm into your crotch, and curls his fingers as though to penetrate but is restricted by the fabric. you're trying to be tame, but you feel yourself building up with pressure with every passing second.

"this is gonna work?" matt's voice is soft, curious.

"rub" you exhale sharply, and matt's chin is now resting on your shoulder to get a better position.

he obeys within a second, and focuses on moving the fabric in circles as you jive your hips to sync up with him. you know with the friction alone, and concentrating hard enough, you could probably build up an orgasm.

matt's breath shudders as his index and middle finger manoeuvre around your clothed cunt, trying to wiggle your panties underneath to feel between your slit.

he can tell by the way your eyes flutter shut, that you're relying solely on your own focus to make his touch worth it.

matt stops, making your eyes flash open, but his hand doesn't move very far. he begins to slide underneath your sweatpants, and you're inches away from aborting mission.

"let me, y/n” he persists, using his free hand to wrap around your waist and keep you in place.

“matty, we're gonna make a mess” you worry, but there's not a care in the world from the boy beside you.

“shut up" he breathes out, inching closer to your heat.

he slides under your panties, and your eyes shut again, trying to completely detach. even though you're not bleeding heavy enough, yet, you know how unpredictable it can be.

your muscles tense the second he makes contact between your folds, rubbing gently. you're soaked, clit throbbing, and clenching your walls with a pulsating rhythm.

matt digs his fingers into your hip more, and you're wondering if he's truly getting any enjoyment out of pleasuring you.

the tips of fingers between your legs hover over your entry, and you're clawing into the sheets.

"can i?" matt's lip brushes the curve of your ear, and you nod. matt pushes his index finger inside of you, using his thumb to circle your sensitive clit.

the moment he thrusts in and out of you, his lips attach at your neck making you jolt in shock. you tilt your head to the side to give him more access as he nips and sucks on your neck.

"keep going?" he asks.

you whimper a yes, and feel him smirk.

fucking his fingers in and out of you at an increasingly rapid pace has you arching your back, forcing matt to go along with your movements, trying to keep up.

"m-matt" you toss your hips, feeling your vulnerability increase, about to shatter.

"fuck" his voice drops an octave, concentration at all time high as he focuses completely on your clit again. he rubs fast, consistent motions over and over and over until the build up becomes undeniable.

"i-i'm gonna" you shake, as matt rubs faster, feeling a burning through your core until finally you release.

"sh-shit" you're a mess, mentally and physically.

you've already forgotten the touch is coming from your best friend, who after this, you're unsure he'll fall under that title. if he even wants to stick around after feeling around your insides and watching you moan his name.

you settle after your high falls while matt gently, slowly, pulls his hand from your pants. you slump against his bed again, regaining your concept of reality while matt grabs tissues from his bedside table and cleans off his fingers.

"so?" he asks, a smugness exuding from one single word.

"i feel better" you sound disoriented, but are overly aware that at any moment he could change his feelings.

"i'm sure you do" he kisses your temple, and you're filled with nerves once again.

"how are you so... calm?" you ask, resting your head onto his shoulder, confining in him still being your safe person, even if the topic of concern is himself.

"i told you i wanted to, y/n" he replies, stern.

"we're just not gonna tell anyone about this" your mouth moves fast.

"no, we're not. but i wouldn't mind doing it again" he shrugs, and you're back to being content, snorting inwardly.

that's when you know, there's no part of him that's strayed from being your best friend. he's all about you. even in this critical, brain chemistry altering event.

maybe except for the fact you can definitely see his dick outlining his grey sweats more prominently than before. but that's a topic for another day.

"you're a freak" you laugh softly.

"for you? yeah"

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