This means, this isn’t a job interview. They are not asking the questions and you answer. You are both searching. They talk sex, you talk money. they make sexual jokes, you talk money. They ask for sexual photos, you talk money.

Life extends from the thoughts and emotions that you experience. This means that employing affirmations of positive words can have a powerful effect on how you feel and help boost you to new levels of achievement.

Affirmations are proven methods of self-improvement because of their ability to rewire our brains. Much like exercise, they raise the level of feel-good hormones and push our brains to form new clusters of “positive thought” neurons. In the sequence of thought-speech-action, affirmations play an integral role by breaking patterns of negative thoughts, negative speech, and, in turn, negative actions.

Repeat the below aloud and with conviction in the morning and after a few days you will notice the shift in your mood, perception, and interpretation of any given situation.

1.) I am the architect of my life; I build its foundation and choose its contents.

2.) Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy.

3.) My body is healthy; my mind is brilliant; my soul is tranquil.

4.) I am superior to negative thoughts and low actions.

5.) I have been given endless talents which I begin to utilize today.

6.) I forgive those who have harmed me in my past and peacefully detach from them.

7.) A river of compassion washes away my anger and replaces it with love.

8.) I am guided in my every step by Spirit who leads me towards what I must know and do.

9.) (If you’re married) My marriage is becoming stronger, deeper, and more stable each day.

10.) I possess the qualities needed to be extremely successful.

11.) (For business owners) My business is growing, expanding, and thriving.

12.) Creative energy surges through me and leads me to new and brilliant ideas.

13.) Happiness is a choice. I base my happiness on my own accomplishments and the blessings I’ve been given.

14.) My ability to conquer my challenges is limitless; my potential to succeed is infinite.

15.) (For those who are unemployed) I deserve to be employed and paid well for my time, efforts, and ideas. Each day, I am closer to finding the perfect job for me.

16.) I am courageous and I stand up for myself.

17.) My thoughts are filled with positivity and my life is plentiful with prosperity.

18.) Today, I abandon my old habits and take up new, more positive ones.

19.) Many people look up to me and recognize my worth; I am admired.

20.) I am blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends.

21.) I acknowledge my own self-worth; my confidence is soaring.

22.) Everything that is happening now is happening for my ultimate good.

23.) I am a powerhouse; I am indestructible.

24.) Though these times are difficult, they are only a short phase of life.

25.) My future is an ideal projection of what I envision now.

26.) My efforts are being supported by the universe; my dreams manifest into reality before my eyes.

27.) (For those who are single) The perfect partner for me is coming into my life sooner than I expect.

28.) I radiate beauty, charm, and grace.

29.) I am conquering my illness; I am defeating it steadily each day.

30.) My obstacles are moving out of my way; my path is carved towards greatness. 31.) I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.

32.) My fears of tomorrow are simply melting away.

33.) I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.

34.) My nature is Divine; I am a spiritual being.

Okay so I think I have actually cracked Tinder for sugar babies. My profile reads “I enjoy the company of classy older men who love to spoil me. I’m intelligent, curvy, vibrant and would love to get to know you over cocktails next to the waterfront.”

Then I match with guys with signs they’re wealthy in their profiles, then they message and always mention something about spoiling me. So I say okay let’s go out for lunch, take a walk then do a bit of shopping. And they’re so down. Then on the shopping trip you can test their generosity and get a sense for whether they’re worth seeing again.

Having travelled to numerous places to meet POTs, I have had a mental note of a little checklist that I always use. I am finally writing it down because I see that a lot of people are interested in travelling to meet their POTs, or sex workers/escorts interested in meeting with clients that are not from the same hometown and wish to travel. Travelling is a lot of fun but you must also be aware and stay safe. Here is a little check list that I have come up with that will help ensure more of your safety and comfort while travelling. Make sure you can honestly answer all these questions and fill it out fully before you travel anywhere!

Xoxo love J (IntlSugarBaby)

Checklist & Questions:

The Security:

1. Do I know his real name?

2. Do I know his business/work?

3. Do I have his real contact information?

4. Have I had a Skype conversation with him yet? (To verify pics are real)

5. Have I had a phone conversation with him yet? 

6. Have I researched him enough? (Is he on any criminal web pages, SB blacklist, anything in the news about him, etc.)

7. Did you give all this information to at least 2-3 trusted sources? (Give one to a friend that you trust in person, another one that is from the sugar bowl could be from tumblr, and etc. Make sure people have this information!)

8. Do I have security cash in case things go wrong? (Always make sure you have extra cash on you in case things go wrong. I would say maybe 200-500 extra on you. You never know)

9. Have I discussed intimacy with him? (Does he know that you will not be having sex on the first date you are down there? That you will not tolerate inappropriate behaviour?)

The Comfort:

1. Where am I travelling to? How long am I travelling to this area for? (I only recommend 2-3 days maximum for a first travel)

2. If I am travelling longer than 3 hours on a plane, am I getting first class? (You bet your ass you better be!)

3. Am I getting round trip flights? (Double check and call the airline to make sure it is valid! If you feel more comfortable booking yourself make sure you get all the money to book through PayPal for your trip!)

4. Am I getting my own hotel room? Is it booked with: Four Seasons, W Hotel, Trump Hotel, etc? (Non-negogiable. You must get your own hotel room. No ifs, ands, or buts. Call the front desk to guarantee it is booked and to make sure you have your own room. Make sure you are ALSO getting a nice hotel, not some cheap MOTEL!)

5. Have I discussed allowance and payments to come down? (Plane ticket and accommodation do NOT account for your time being spent down there. You must be paid for your time that you are with him. Usually for my 2-3 day rule I would ask anywhere between $1,000-3,000. It all depends for how many times you see him, how long you see him, etc.)

6. Have I discussed a “free-time” with him? (You need a break from him. You need your own time. Within each day you are down there say you need this which can be used to explore, have your own spa day, etc. You are NOT required to be with them at every moment!)

7. Do I have arrangements that a car is picking me up from my house/friends house/local area to the airport and back from the airport? As well as soon as I land in the designated town that I am being picked up by a car and drove straight to the hotel? (Never hop in a car with him straight from the airport. Make sure you go straight to your hotel from a limo/taxi car paid for by him you should not be wasting a dime on anything down there. If you need transportation to the airport from your hometown make that known to him!)

8. Have I discussed when I will be getting my payment? (I always ask for it as soon as I meet up with him in an envelope. This allows you that if no matter if there isn’t a connection there you still get paid! Do not accept payment after your date through paypal or any other way, or cheques. Always make sure it is in cold, hard, cash and in an envelope first meeting. No excuses) 

9. What is the itinerary once I get there? (Make sure you know a list of exactly what you are doing. Are you going to a broadway show? The casino? A dinner? Where is the locations + addresses? Make sure to always keep checking in with your “safety” sisters aka friends! Also plan! If you are going to LA and want to go to Hollywood tell your POT. Remember this is a little trip for you so enjoy it!)

What to pack in my suitcase:

1. Always bring a carry on or a large purse. It is a lot quicker to go through the airport without having to check any bags. Remember to always pack light as well because you definitely will be shopping down there!

2. Bring 1 casual outfit. This is for site-seeing, going out and exploring. Something you feel comfortable in (shoe wise) and can walk around for extended periods of time. I would suggest a pair of jeans cute sandals or flats and a super cute top. Accessorize to make yourself look better - nice purse, sunglasses, bracelets/watch etc.

3. Bring 2 nice dinner outfits. I usually am super indecisive when it comes to dinner outfits. I usually bring two really nice ones! One will be a tight dress medium-short length, and another a more longer dress that is classier. Once you arrive in the city you will know what fits in more there and what is easier and more comfortable to wear. Bring your best heels: Louboutins! And of course accessories.

4. Bring 1 Sleeping wear. Usually a comfy top and bottom, or if you are feeling more risqué bring a sexy night gown or something. Remember you have your own hotel room and intimacy is not expected on your first trip down there. This is purely for your comfort!

5. All your sleepover gear stuff. Toothbrush, small lube of toothpaste, make up remover wipes, hair and bobby pins, hair ties, deodorant, a super mini body spray (check your airlines for maximum you can bring).

6. Your make up and accessories. Bring your most used make up such as: Foundation, powder, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, a couple of brushes, eyebrow pencil and lip gloss. You can bring bronzer and blush as well but remember don’t bring your entire make up kit! Some stuff might get lost… bring stuff you DEFINITELY would use! As for accessories: sunglasses, a statement watch or bracelet, and ring possibly. Keep it minimum, stick to statement pieces! Don’t want to loose anything!

7. Bring 1 Bathing Suit. You know maybe you want to take a dip in the pool, go to the sauna, or head to the beach on your time off. Who knows, always great to have a bathing suit packed just in case - you never know!

8. Extra feminine supplies. Just in case you get your period on the trip, you never know! Also bring extra gravol, or advil that you potentially could need trying different foods, or just not feeling well on the trip. 

9. Pack anything else you think is necessary! Remember, pack light and research what the weather is going to be like when you get down there. Is it going to be warm? Rainy? Cloudy? Check all the weather and make sure you know and pack accordingly!

Plane Checklist:

1. Bring head phones, ipod (if you don’t have an iphone), phone charger, lip gloss, little compact mirror, passport, wallet with extra cash in it, your drivers license (if you are over age of 19 in Canada you can drink there, or over 21 in States! That way you don’t have to bring your passport along with you), a magazine, and little snack to enjoy. This is usually in my hand bag/purse that I also carry on the plane. It is your plane survival and extra time alone survival kit!

2. Get your boarding passes in order, text your POT that you arrived at the airport and just wait to board the flight!

Enjoy your trips meeting your POTs! Remember to have a great time and go through the check list. If they are hesitant about any parts of it or can’t answer and try to negotiate around some of the things… these are viewed as red flags. Immediately drop them. A POT will ALWAYS want your safety and comfort to come first. If he speaks of sex in the hotel, or anything that you are not comfortable with you immediately lay down the line saying that it won’t be tolerated. Make sure to stand up for your values and comfort. The worst thing these men can say is NO which is not a big deal at all. There is a million other guys to replace them. They are indeed replaceable.

Have an amazing trip to where ever you travel to. Remember to stay safe! Safety is a number one priority! Wishing all the hustlers the best of luck.

1.Always get in and out of a car elegantly. When approaching the door, stand with your butt facing the seat. Get your legs together, bend your knees and sit before sliding your legs into the car. Never spread your legs or jump in and out of a car. When leaving a car, wait for him to get the door, keep your knees together and slide them out first before leading over and standing up. Here’s a video.

2. Have a basic knowledge of the expensive part of town. Know the major streets, landmarks… and most importantly, where the stores are.

3. Work on your penmanship. Write neatly and know how to write in cursive. I’ve actually had an SD who said “Penmanship is how I tell the difference between posers and real money. Poor woman write like toddlers. “

4. Make sure your outfits are worn correctly. Make sure they fit correctly. Iron your clothes. Take care of rips, holes and missing buttons. Don’t mix metals. Make sure your shoes are clean. Don’t wear anything that needs to be adjusted or fixed every few minutes.

5. Understand money. Know the other major currencies and how they relate to the dollar. A Lot of high-end websites list prices in euros or pounds. You should have a close estimate of how much it is in dollars.

6. Start reading the news and understand what’s going on in the world, not just the stuff your friends put on facebook. I like bbc world news, wall street journal, Forbes and the business of fashion.

Buying dinner and drinks for someone doesn’t make them a gold digger or only after your money 😂😂 I pay for people’s dinner all the time and pay to take them out

Just because you bought a 2 for $20 meal deal for someone and gave them money for a taxi, doesn’t make them a golddigger.

Y'all act like basic courtesy and merely treating someone takes a massive toll on you. Like there aren’t real golddiggers being gifted with houses and expensive jewellery.

me:

We all know Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie, and Halle Berry are some of the gems we have in movies now. But I’ve watched a lot of movies that helped me gain the sugar personas I had and I want to share some of those with you all.

Girlfriend experience

This is one of the more popular movies for sex workers and it is now a tv series. I personally liked it because I was ending a relationship while I was sugaring and I did feel some of the ways Christine felt.

Another thing I loved about this movie was the documentation and research this girl did on her clients. I use to have a notebook filled with all my POTs and SDs info, status, job info, likes and dislikes, turn ons, etc. My ex stole it a while ago but lucky for me I didn’t write down searchable info, even the names were in code.

I would recommend this as the first to watch before you binge watch sex work movies like I did.

Memoirs of a geisha

This is one of my personal favorites because I love the Asian culture when it comes to beauty. The grace, the discipline, and the routine of these woman is really what got me.

When I saw that one look method I was determined to get it to work for me. The Kama Sutra movie below also helped me achieve this. But nothing gets a man across the room faster than an enchanting look from a beautiful woman in their direction.

From this movie I was able to learn how to move more gracefully which is very attractive for men who like “exotic” women. So if you got hips sway them, if you have long legs be swift with your steps, and if your hand are flawless move them like a water bender on avatar (anime joke).

The Treacherous

This movie is very gory so if that’s not your thing don’t watch it. But it does show some intense training for courtesans (old world Asia times).

The seductiveness of these women turned me on so I knew the same methods would turn any man on too. My favorite seductive move is the removing of clothes shown in the beginning scenes where the man challenged the woman to a strip game.

Another scene that showed me a lot of gems was the actual training of the women and how they were to taught to please. I even got some old school hoe tips for my Vag in this movie.

Kama Sutra

Yes it is spelled right and yes it is about using Karma Sutra. If you want a movie example of how some Karma Sutra techniques work then look no further.

This movie showed me how equally important foreplay is for men as it is for us. It showed little snippets of how even feeding can be sensual for men. My favorite tip from the movie would have to be the eye movements of the women while they danced. Those eyes have gotten me compliments from many dance teachers because they could see sexiness in my eyes.

Just look at these eyes:

Etiquette of a mistress

In case you haven’t noticed by now I watch a lot of Asian movies. This one in particular is informative and funny so you’ll really enjoy watching it.

If you’re a sugar that deals with a lot of married men this movie is for you. It shows you how to be properly discrete with your time together and how to deal with the cons of a married man. The best part of this movie is it shows the perspective of a veteran and a newbie, so I know my vets will enjoy this if they or helping any newbies out there.

Wolf on wall street

This is of course on here because of the famous Naomi character that we love so much. Her sharp tongue is definitely needed when you are trying to pass through all the BS talk. But another thing to pay attention to is her physical presentation of herself. Her style with her looks was like devil in a red dress but with diamonds add.

Two can play that game

This one is mostly for my brown SBs who are close to their mid 20s.

In the 2000s this movie was like the black woman’s player guide. I’ve used many of these strategies to get men back on track to what I wanted. My little black dress is still in the closet waiting for the day my fiance acts up.

One thing from that movie I don’t do is flaunt another man because doing that in this world can severe ties real quick.

A lot of people focus on Shante in this movie but I also loved watching Conny too. Mainly because I love Gabrielle Union’s acting especially in Being Mary Jane.

Whoresglory

I didn’t learn much from this movie for my personal gain but I did learn a lot about sex work around the world. So if you’re just interested in a movie that shows you different kinds of sex workers watch this.

Breakfast at Tiffany

I love a good Audrey Hepburn movie because her white woman swag is just as awesome as Marilyn’s. She taught me how to be sweet and

youthful while also being mysterious and unavailable.

Being sweet and youthful is what kept my men feeling lucky to have me. But being mysterious and unavailable at times is what kept them on their toes and more willing do what was needed to “secure” me.

Show Girls

I’m starting to think I should’ve tried stripping because sexy dancing is one of my favorite things to do. Expressing with my body is like art to me but I was probably right not to strip, I would get addicted.

This movie however made me more glamorous and aggressive when it came to my sexy looks. I never got a chance to see real show girls in Vegas but I’m pretty sure I would be in awe by them. I’ve never been a glamorous person but after this movie I started adding a little shimmer and glitter to my style.

Chicago

Again with the dancing lol, I’m sorry ladies but these women, even with out the dancing were phenomenal. The He Made Me Do It song was an all time favorite for me.

But as far as lessons I started to see how competitive women could be when it comes to money and credibility/fame.

I learned on movies like this how to out smart them when it comes to whales.There have been many new girls who tried taking my main SD away from me but they couldn’t get to my relationship quality. Even when girls did get some dates from other SDs of mine they didn’t last long. So please remember ladies quality and good relationships always wins when it comes to real SDs.

Josephine Baker Biography

My girl next door persona has always got me the most money. So when I saw this biography I started mastering it. Her happy demeanor and tiny voice was so close to mine it wasn’t hard to practice.

What made me the happiest, was that even though she was sweet, innocent, and goofy she was also sensual. She knew how to express her sexuality without taking away from her innocence.

The end of the movie was sad and showed a lot of her flaws but she was still iconic.

Confessions of a Brazilian Call Girl

I can’t remember if this is based on a true story are not but it’s amazing. Especially with the online social platforms we have now, this movie has been very useful. This woman on here became a high class call girl based on online status alone.

She was also another person I looked to for glam sexuality and showed many women that even average women can dominate the sex world. There were bad parts like her cockiness and drug use but if she would’ve stayed in her grind she would’ve still been raking in millions. One thing this movie can show you (on the bad side) is that you should never try to “Keep up with the Jones” even in the sex world because it’s never greener on the other side.

Call Me: The Rise and fall of Hiede Fliess

If you don’t know Hiede Fliess, look her up now. She’s the greatest when it comes to call girls. The tactics she used to get where she was is amazing. She really knew how to keep connections with her clients and how to get other girls money.

I don’t know what she does now but I do respect the contributions she’s made to the sex work industry. If you’re in LA or Hollywood you should really watch this movie.

Some notable tv women I watch

Joseline Hernandez

She’s so unapologetic about who she is and will get money by any means necessary. Her and Cardi B are like alter egos I wish I had sometimes.

Cardi B

She is one of the realest woman I’ve seen on TV and she used what she had to get her fame. Now that she got it she is doing here to the max and I’m happy for her.

Nene Lakes

I can see myself being like Nene when I get older and wealthier. She is a star in many forms and doesn’t let these women or her man interfere with her money. She went from housewife to breadwinner even outside of the show.

Whitley Gilbert

I get all my bougie ways from Ms. Whitley lol. Really she was a good representation of a high class but down to earth black woman for me. She started out a little too much for me but after some seasons she grew on me. I’m always a sucker for tiny voiced women because mines is tiny too (Not as annoying as hers).

Tasha Patrick

Now I’m going to be honest I just started watching power but I love this women’s attitude. She’s sexy, ride or die, and also strategically vengeful. I might update this after I finish the show but for now that’s all I have to say.

Phaedra Parks

This woman beats me in being bougie and extra. I’ve never seen anyone who goes all out like she does. When I was in college I always wanted to be a like southern belle with curves so when this show came on I was tuned in. If you ever wanted to see an example of a curvy southern belle that can still get a little ghetto, Here she is.

This list is just a few of the many women I’ve watched to perfect my personas.

Now, when I switch my persona it’s not to completely change who I am but helps me adapt to different environments.

For example: If my SD likes to watch football games from his box then I’m not going to go into my prim and proper mode, I’m going to bring out girl next door me.

Depending on what your daddy likes you’re going to be put in different types of atmosphere and if you’re black than your going to need to adapt. The way to more opportunities is by building your credibility which is usually based on how much people like you. You re like an undercover celebrity lol.

Now if you don’t want to change that’s fine but that’s what’s work for me.

I change up like a Johnny Depp Movie role

Hope this all was helpful to you ladies.

****Long post alert***. This is primarily for the asks rotting in my inbox for months. Apologies! I have been MIA from Tumblr and the bowl for a while now (sick). Anyway, the title of this post pays homage to two seductresses I admire a lot. My sugar daddies who have been great mentors. The horrible men I’ve dated who have equally taught me a lot. And Robert Greene (author of Art of Seduction and Mastery. Great books. READ them!),You become a master by observing first. Analyze. Learn. Practice. Experiment. Apply. Transform.  "When you learn the rules, you can dominate".

Lesson 1: Seduction is more psychological than physical. The physical aspect of it is important as well. That’s it’s own category. But when you understand what your sugar daddy truly wants, you can (dare I say, ) “manipulate” him better. Anyone can be seductive. From skinny to bbw to medium size to giant scar on your forehead. You can succeed as a sugar baby. You just have to understand how to play the game and yes, I do think it’s all a game. So next time your sugar daddy yaps about his robust, lazy wife who may or may not be fucking the foreign gardener and spends 9 hours at the country club; and his cocaine addicted son at Harvard, LISTEN. He wants a shoulder, so be that. The key here is to show that support, care, and understanding but at the same time, don’t tangle yourself in the drama that you become his on-call therapist. Don’t call him at 10pm at night to check up on him. Unless he’s willing to pay you $800 per hour. When you understand what a person wants/how their mind operates, you can cater to their needs/deal with them better. OBSERVE. When you master psychological seduction, you will be well on your way.

Lesson 2: Be mysterious/intriguing. If your mom kicked you out of the house when you were a fetus, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, at least in the initial stages. If you dropped out of college when you were still in the womb, keep it to yourself. When you reveal too much of yourself, you tire/bore people and eventually become forgettable. Everyone has a story. So save your sob story and ex boyfriend drama for the struggling author down the street who has been having writer’s block for the past 15 years.  What does Cleopatra,Marilyn Monroe, and Casanova all have in common? Mystery/leaving something to the imagination. These women/man armed themselves with an air of mystery that left those in their wake yearning for more. I’ve never seen Angelina Jolie as one of the most beautiful women on earth. But man there’s something about her that makes Hollywood go crazy. She shares bits of herself and her life but there’s always that edge of mystery. She leaves you wondering what’s going on behind the *is it fake or is it not fake* lips/smile. The key is timing. Don’t share too much.  Keep them guessing. No need for your sugar daddy or pot to know what cards you have up your sleeves. By sharing too much, you make yourself seem needy and DESPERATE. No bueno.

Lesson 3: Don’t always be available. I used to make this mistake, especially when I liked a guy. Never lasted long in my opinion. So I learned and changed tactics and mannnnn things definitely changed. Sometimes, saying NO works more in your favor. I don’t care if you’re bored out of your mind at home and counting the cobwebs on your ceiling. An occasional NO will put a sugar daddy in his place. It will tell him that you’re not at his beck and call. It will also tell him that you have other priorities outside of sugaring. Your life/time does not revolve around him. If he’s that interested in you, trust me, he will reschedule and work with you. Don’t turn into Mrs.NO to Everything but learn how to use it when applicable. This ties in a bit with mystery. When you say no and he asks what your plans for the day are, cultivate a story if you don’t have legit plans! You can say that you’re going on a short getaway with a group of girlfriends, going on a spa treatment for yourself only, etc. The key here is to appear that you have a fun, adventurous life outside. Your time is PRECIOUS.

Lesson 3.5: Create respectable distance. This ties in with 3. By creating respectable distance, you are again putting a sugar daddy in his place. You need space because you have a life. It will command his respect. The thing about a lot of men is that they loveeee a challenge. Especially wealthy men, who are used to having whatever they desire. By giving him what he wants, whenever he wants it, he will exploit that and before you know it, he will detach and disappear (which a lot of guys do). When you challenge him, it will drive him crazy. It will keep him on edge. He will come back for more. So treat yourself like a rare gem. There are vultures out here. So when you play into his wishes easily, well… easy come, easy goes.And before they go, they will devour you completely. When you allow him to insert himself in every aspect of your life, he will probably take advantage of you. The key here is to create enough distance that he’ll keep wondering about you but not so much that he completely forgets you. This can be tricky but it is not impossible.

Lesson 4: Confidence. I’m one of those people who believe that while some have innate confidence, others have to learn it. So if need be, LEARN confidence. It takes time and patience. Trial/error. Note what your shortcomings are and practice on bettering yourself. It could range from repeating daily mantras to yourself to changing a specific look about you, practice! practice! Note what your strengths are and USE it to your advantage. Again practice!  Marilyn Monroe wasn’t always a sultry, seductress. In fact, from her appearance, her voice, her make-up, to her persona, she had to practice it all to master it, especially in public. It took her years, but she eventually morphed into one of the most iconic seductresses of all time.

Lesson 5: Be bold/ assertive. There is a fine line between boldness/assertiveness and Mrs.Yes. It is okay to voice your interests, opinions, dislikes, etc. It is equally okay to disagree with something your sugar daddy says/wants. The key is to do it respectfully. Don’t try so hard to please him that you agree to everything (including things that make you uncomfortable). If he wants you to have sex with his bald, hairy micro-human friend from the country club and the idea makes your vagina retract in disgust, SPEAK UP. Don’t be Mrs. Yes because it can be dangerous to you. Plus you will give him the upper hand.

Lesson 6: Be playful. You don’t have to be serious 24/7. Make effective use of body language by using eye contact, touch, smiling, etc.Position your posture in such a way that you appear comfortable but not slouching. Engage him in fun activities sometimes. Show him what you enjoy doing/try to learn what he enjoys as well. I remember when I first took my sugar daddy to a rave. He was soooo out of place with his expensive ass suit but we had such a good laugh. It was fun. It is also okay to flirt and tease but do not over do it. . If he tells you of his former beauty queen ex wife who divorced him, took half his wealth, and got full custody of the kids, it will NOT be a good time to start flirting then or batting your eye lashes. The key is to know when to be playful and when to engage in a serious conversation with him.

Lesson 7: Stroke his ego occasionally, especially when he’s a good boy. Let him know you enjoy his company, his time, what he gives you, etc. It’s tough to balance but you don’t want to seem like you can’t do without the lifestyle he grants you. Remember, you are accustomed to a luxurious lifestyle. Men like feeling like protectors, especially wealthy men. So stroke that big fat ego and let him think it. When he misbehaves, adjust accordingly. 

Lesson 8: If all else fails, create/channel an alter-ego. It sounds somewhat extreme but I have one. I created a whole new persona for myself. When I first started out four plus years ago, I appeared too innocent. And that was my biggest weakness. My naivete showed and definitely I was taken advantage of and cheated but I learned. FAST. Soon after, I stopped telling men I was inexperienced. I stopped allowing myself to appear innocent. I became a chameleon.The person I am with sugar daddies/ on pot dates is completely different from the girl I am at home/school/work/with friends. With these men, I am a worldly, experienced WOMAN. I am used to ultra-luxury and deserve nothing but the best. Of course at home/elsewhere, I am a girl/ nursing student who studies a bit too much, curses a bit too much, enjoys being wild with friends and plans on attending medical school to become a psychiatrist. Find what works for you and channel her. We all have inner goddesses and seductresses in us. 

Lesson 9: “Be nice, be nice. Until it’s time to stop being nice…" Okay, this sounds psycho meets fatal-attraction-esque but no worries! know when to curse a  pompous, disrespectful son of a bitch out. Seriously, know when to walk away. Channel your inner Cleopatra/Bitchery and crush his ass. Do not be afraid to stomp an arrogant asshole out of existence (figuratively of course). I don’t care but no amount of money is worth being disrespected. If you allow a man to disrespect and treat you like a common commodity, he will not stick around for long. He will use, abuse, and break you. And frankly, You DO NOT deserve that. If he calls you a racial slur ( and claims it’s a joke, LIES), forces himself on you, disrespects you in anyway hurtful and dehumanizing, among other things, WALK THE FUCK AWAY and report the incident to authorities if the action warrants it. And let your middle finger do the rest of the talking. 

**All in all, I hope this helps someone out here. Remember, what works for one person make not work for you. But you can still learn from others around you** And that my friends, is the most important lesson of all.

xoxo

****Long post alert***. This is primarily for the asks rotting in my inbox for months. Apologies! I have been MIA from Tumblr and the bowl for a while now (sick). Anyway, the title of this post pays homage to two seductresses I admire a lot. My sugar daddies who have been great mentors. The horrible men I’ve dated who have equally taught me a lot. And Robert Greene (author of Art of Seduction and Mastery. Great books. READ them!),You become a master by observing first. Analyze. Learn. Practice. Experiment. Apply. Transform.  "When you learn the rules, you can dominate".

Lesson 1: Seduction is more psychological than physical. The physical aspect of it is important as well. That’s it’s own category. But when you understand what your sugar daddy truly wants, you can (dare I say, ) “manipulate” him better. Anyone can be seductive. From skinny to bbw to medium size to giant scar on your forehead. You can succeed as a sugar baby. You just have to understand how to play the game and yes, I do think it’s all a game. So next time your sugar daddy yaps about his robust, lazy wife who may or may not be fucking the foreign gardener and spends 9 hours at the country club; and his cocaine addicted son at Harvard, LISTEN. He wants a shoulder, so be that. The key here is to show that support, care, and understanding but at the same time, don’t tangle yourself in the drama that you become his on-call therapist. Don’t call him at 10pm at night to check up on him. Unless he’s willing to pay you $800 per hour. When you understand what a person wants/how their mind operates, you can cater to their needs/deal with them better. OBSERVE. When you master psychological seduction, you will be well on your way.

Lesson 2: Be mysterious/intriguing. If your mom kicked you out of the house when you were a fetus, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, at least in the initial stages. If you dropped out of college when you were still in the womb, keep it to yourself. When you reveal too much of yourself, you tire/bore people and eventually become forgettable. Everyone has a story. So save your sob story and ex boyfriend drama for the struggling author down the street who has been having writer’s block for the past 15 years.  What does Cleopatra,Marilyn Monroe, and Casanova all have in common? Mystery/leaving something to the imagination. These women/man armed themselves with an air of mystery that left those in their wake yearning for more. I’ve never seen Angelina Jolie as one of the most beautiful women on earth. But man there’s something about her that makes Hollywood go crazy. She shares bits of herself and her life but there’s always that edge of mystery. She leaves you wondering what’s going on behind the *is it fake or is it not fake* lips/smile. The key is timing. Don’t share too much.  Keep them guessing. No need for your sugar daddy or pot to know what cards you have up your sleeves. By sharing too much, you make yourself seem needy and DESPERATE. No bueno.

Lesson 3: Don’t always be available. I used to make this mistake, especially when I liked a guy. Never lasted long in my opinion. So I learned and changed tactics and mannnnn things definitely changed. Sometimes, saying NO works more in your favor. I don’t care if you’re bored out of your mind at home and counting the cobwebs on your ceiling. An occasional NO will put a sugar daddy in his place. It will tell him that you’re not at his beck and call. It will also tell him that you have other priorities outside of sugaring. Your life/time does not revolve around him. If he’s that interested in you, trust me, he will reschedule and work with you. Don’t turn into Mrs.NO to Everything but learn how to use it when applicable. This ties in a bit with mystery. When you say no and he asks what your plans for the day are, cultivate a story if you don’t have legit plans! You can say that you’re going on a short getaway with a group of girlfriends, going on a spa treatment for yourself only, etc. The key here is to appear that you have a fun, adventurous life outside. Your time is PRECIOUS.

Lesson 3.5: Create respectable distance. This ties in with 3. By creating respectable distance, you are again putting a sugar daddy in his place. You need space because you have a life. It will command his respect. The thing about a lot of men is that they loveeee a challenge. Especially wealthy men, who are used to having whatever they desire. By giving him what he wants, whenever he wants it, he will exploit that and before you know it, he will detach and disappear (which a lot of guys do). When you challenge him, it will drive him crazy. It will keep him on edge. He will come back for more. So treat yourself like a rare gem. There are vultures out here. So when you play into his wishes easily, well… easy come, easy goes.And before they go, they will devour you completely. When you allow him to insert himself in every aspect of your life, he will probably take advantage of you. The key here is to create enough distance that he’ll keep wondering about you but not so much that he completely forgets you. This can be tricky but it is not impossible.

Lesson 4: Confidence. I’m one of those people who believe that while some have innate confidence, others have to learn it. So if need be, LEARN confidence. It takes time and patience. Trial/error. Note what your shortcomings are and practice on bettering yourself. It could range from repeating daily mantras to yourself to changing a specific look about you, practice! practice! Note what your strengths are and USE it to your advantage. Again practice!  Marilyn Monroe wasn’t always a sultry, seductress. In fact, from her appearance, her voice, her make-up, to her persona, she had to practice it all to master it, especially in public. It took her years, but she eventually morphed into one of the most iconic seductresses of all time.

Lesson 5: Be bold/ assertive. There is a fine line between boldness/assertiveness and Mrs.Yes. It is okay to voice your interests, opinions, dislikes, etc. It is equally okay to disagree with something your sugar daddy says/wants. The key is to do it respectfully. Don’t try so hard to please him that you agree to everything (including things that make you uncomfortable). If he wants you to have sex with his bald, hairy micro-human friend from the country club and the idea makes your vagina retract in disgust, SPEAK UP. Don’t be Mrs. Yes because it can be dangerous to you. Plus you will give him the upper hand.

Lesson 6: Be playful. You don’t have to be serious 24/7. Make effective use of body language by using eye contact, touch, smiling, etc.Position your posture in such a way that you appear comfortable but not slouching. Engage him in fun activities sometimes. Show him what you enjoy doing/try to learn what he enjoys as well. I remember when I first took my sugar daddy to a rave. He was soooo out of place with his expensive ass suit but we had such a good laugh. It was fun. It is also okay to flirt and tease but do not over do it. . If he tells you of his former beauty queen ex wife who divorced him, took half his wealth, and got full custody of the kids, it will NOT be a good time to start flirting then or batting your eye lashes. The key is to know when to be playful and when to engage in a serious conversation with him.

Lesson 7: Stroke his ego occasionally, especially when he’s a good boy. Let him know you enjoy his company, his time, what he gives you, etc. It’s tough to balance but you don’t want to seem like you can’t do without the lifestyle he grants you. Remember, you are accustomed to a luxurious lifestyle. Men like feeling like protectors, especially wealthy men. So stroke that big fat ego and let him think it. When he misbehaves, adjust accordingly. 

Lesson 8: If all else fails, create/channel an alter-ego. It sounds somewhat extreme but I have one. I created a whole new persona for myself. When I first started out four plus years ago, I appeared too innocent. And that was my biggest weakness. My naivete showed and definitely I was taken advantage of and cheated but I learned. FAST. Soon after, I stopped telling men I was inexperienced. I stopped allowing myself to appear innocent. I became a chameleon.The person I am with sugar daddies/ on pot dates is completely different from the girl I am at home/school/work/with friends. With these men, I am a worldly, experienced WOMAN. I am used to ultra-luxury and deserve nothing but the best. Of course at home/elsewhere, I am a girl/ nursing student who studies a bit too much, curses a bit too much, enjoys being wild with friends and plans on attending medical school to become a psychiatrist. Find what works for you and channel her. We all have inner goddesses and seductresses in us. 

Lesson 9: “Be nice, be nice. Until it’s time to stop being nice…" Okay, this sounds psycho meets fatal-attraction-esque but no worries! know when to curse a  pompous, disrespectful son of a bitch out. Seriously, know when to walk away. Channel your inner Cleopatra/Bitchery and crush his ass. Do not be afraid to stomp an arrogant asshole out of existence (figuratively of course). I don’t care but no amount of money is worth being disrespected. If you allow a man to disrespect and treat you like a common commodity, he will not stick around for long. He will use, abuse, and break you. And frankly, You DO NOT deserve that. If he calls you a racial slur ( and claims it’s a joke, LIES), forces himself on you, disrespects you in anyway hurtful and dehumanizing, among other things, WALK THE FUCK AWAY and report the incident to authorities if the action warrants it. And let your middle finger do the rest of the talking. 

**All in all, I hope this helps someone out here. Remember, what works for one person make not work for you. But you can still learn from others around you** And that my friends, is the most important lesson of all.

xoxo