Deep Breaths

tbh the best way that i explain to other people what it feels like to live with an anxiety disorder is the one time when i had to get a fingerprint and background check done for a job and i, someone who has never received so much as a speeding ticket my whole life, spent thirty minutes panicking that i would fail because i might secretly be a criminal and have no idea 

why do people in dnd each occupy a 5ft by 5ft square, how far apart do you think people need to be? why are dnd minis afraid of touching

dnd minis standing five feet apart in a dungeon cuz they’re not gay

look, if the guy to my left has to do the turbo-macarena while charging a bolt of flesh melting while the guy on my right is doing every bruce lee move at the same time and the guy in front of me is flourishing a broadaxe like hes doing yo-yo tricks im going to give each of them enough floorspace to not liquefy myself

i realize this is about turning 30 but my brain keeps saying it’s about the Dust Bowl happening again but in the 2030s

I’m dying this is wonderful. 

Why do people think the laws of man and nature don’t apply in beach bathrooms? What is it about beach bathrooms that makes people enter the heart of darkness and decide that toilet paper can go anywhere?

I hate it when I say “suck my dick” and people say “oH bUt yOu DoN’t hAvE a DiCk” you fools. Blithering idiots. I mean my soul dick. My metaphorical penis. I don’t have a physical penis protruding from my body but the aura is there. Suck my spirit dick, peasant.

@jewishprincess it me lmao

Happiness Will Come To You.

when tho

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.

honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March

Wouldn’t mind some happiness in late March.