Synopsis: Every time Jason and his girlfriend’s make out sessions become heated, he always pulls away…almost like he’s ashamed of something. Weird.
TW: make out session, mentions of Jason’s death, autopsy scar/scars in general, insecurity, suggestive nsfw content
A/N: I really like this one:) Also uh back from hiatus tho i guess one would barely call it that lol
It was rare for Jason to take days off from his vigilante life, but when his girlfriend, Y/N, began to come into the picture, everything was suddenly different…on hold.
Tonight, Jason found himself in her apartment and resting on her couch. He wore some casual clothes, his jacket thrown over the armrest of one of her chairs. He laid on the couch, Y/N laying in front of him as the two watched some movie on tv.
He didn’t care about the movie, hell, he had no idea what they were even watching. He was just staring at his girl and smiling whenever her laughter filled the empty space.
“For someone to be a sneaky vigilante, I can feel you staring,” she said, turning her head to look at him.
Jason casually smirked, “can’t help it, babe. You’re distracting.”
Her cheeks warmed, but she didn’t shy away. Instead, she shifted closer, their thighs pressed together. The air between them thickened, and when Jason’s thumb brushed over her knuckles, she leaned in to kiss him.
It started careful—like always—but it didn’t stay that way. Y/N’s lips parted, and Jason followed with a low groan. His hand slid to her jaw, holding her steady as if she might slip away, while her fingers found the hem of his shirt, curling in the fabric like she wanted to pull him even closer.
She shifted, pulling herself up and climbing on him, straddling his lap. Her hands trailed up his chest, fingertips brushing against warm skin where his shirt dared to ride up.
Jason stiffened under her touch, and the kiss faltered. He drew back, catching his breath as he stared up at her.
“Wait,” he began. “We can’t…don’t rush this.”
Y/N blinked up at him, breathless, her hands still pinned gently against his chest. “I’m not rushing. I just thought—.”
“I know.” He kissed her again, slower this time, tender enough that it almost hurt.
“Trust me, I want this. I want you. But…” He broke off, jaw tightening for a second before he forced the words out. “I’ve screwed up too much in my life by moving too fast. I need to be sure. I don’t wanna hurt you, or mess this up.”
Jason Todd, the man who faced bullets and crime lords without flinching, was scared of her. Or rather, scared of not being good enough for her.
She lifted a hand to his cheek, thumb brushing the faint scar there. “You’re not messing anything up, Jason. Not with me.”
Jason blinked, “I just don’t want to mess up anything. I want it to mean something.”
Y/N leaned forward, her breath hot against his lips. “It already does.” She whispered.
Jason exhaled, a shaky kind of laugh escaping him. “Yeah. I know, and that’s what scares me.”
She gently kissed his lips and looked down at him, “do you not want me in the way I want you?”
“I do, Y/N.” Jason quickly said, “I do. Fuck, I do. But…there’s so much to me that I haven’t told you.”
“There’s more to you than being some vigilante that goes around killing criminals?” Y/N asked, raising a brow.
“Fuck, yeah.” Jason breathed out, “I have so many fucking scars, sweetheart, and I—.”
“Are you worried I’ll run?” Y/N interrupted, “because if you are Jason, you clearly don’t know me.”
Jason looked at her, their eyes meeting. “I don’t want this to be something I’ll regret.”
“How do you know if you don’t take the leap?”
Jason wanted to argue, tell her that he wouldn’t and that he’d continue to keep their relationship at arms length…nothing more than messy make out sessions.
“Christ,” Jason breathed out again. “You don’t make it easy, do you?”
Y/N smiled, “I’ve been told. But seriously, Jay, whatever scars you have…I promise I won’t run away screaming. Whatever you’re hiding…it won’t change how I look at you.”
Jason wanted to push her away again, but he couldn’t, not when she was sat and straddling him, looking down at him with those caring eyes of hers.
“Fuck it,” Jason huffed. “I want you.”
With that admission, he pulled her down for another deep, bruising kiss. This time, he let his hands wander freely with one hand cupping the side of her face while the other slipped lower to rest on the curve of her ass. He could feel every inch of her through the thin fabric of her pants, and he groaned into the kiss, unable to stop himself from grinding up into her.
He twitched painfully against his jeans, eager for release, but Jason knew he needed to slow things down. As much as he wanted to bury himself inside of her, he also wanted to savor this moment, to appreciate the fact that she was finally giving herself to him.
So he eased back, breaking the kiss and panting softly as he did. "I'm not going to lie," he murmured, running his fingers through her hair.
“Lie about what?” She asked, looking down at him. “Taking it slow?”
Jason chuckled darkly, shaking his head. "No, babe. About wanting you." He paused, his gaze dropping to her lips. "About needing you."
With that, he captured her mouth in another searing kiss, his tongue slipping past her lips to tangle with hers. His hands roamed over her body, tracing the curves of her hips and the swell of her breasts before dipping beneath her shirt to tease at the edges of her bra.
Jason was determined to make this night unforgettable, to show her just how much she meant to him. And if that meant pushing her boundaries a little, then so be it. Because after tonight, he wasn't going anywhere.
She softly moaned into the kiss, her hands roaming over his chest. “Can I…take your shirt off?” She asked.
But Jason stilled again…hesitating.
Jason hesitated, his heart pounding in his chest. He knew that once she saw all of him, there would be no going back. But he also knew that he couldn't hide from her anymore, not after tonight.
"Y/N..." He murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "There's scars all over me…they’re not very pretty.”
"I don't care.” She said, her tone serious. “I want to see you.”
Reluctantly, Jason nodded, slowly reaching back to pull his shirt off. His muscles rippled under the light of the room, his abs flexing as he tossed the shirt aside. Then his shoulders tensed as he prepared for her reaction.
The scars were old, some pale white, others red and raised.
She gently ran a hand over a long scar that ran from his chest and down his upper stomach. “What…is this?” She asked.
Y/N’s breathed hitched, “autopsy scar?”
“Y-Yeah,” Jason shakily replied. “I was dead for a while…they, uh, had to do an autopsy.”
Y/N lifted herself off of Jason and backed away, moving toward the opposite end of the couch. “You were dead? Like..?”
“Buried?” Jason concluded, propping himself up on his elbows. “Yeah. I was. Dead for three years.”
Y/N swallowed hard, trying to process what she'd just heard. "Three years? How is that even possible?"
Jason sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "It's a long story. Basically, I died, came back, and now I'm...different. Half alive, I guess you could say."
He looked at her, his expression filled with pain. "That's why I've been so hesitant, Y/N. I'm not...normal. There's a darkness in me now, a rage that I can barely control sometimes. I didn't want to drag you into that world."
Y/N was silent for a long moment, her mind reeling. Finally, she spoke. "Jason…I…I don't understand. How can you be half alive? What happened to you?"
Jason moved to sit up, “I found out my biological mom was still alive and went after her. I tracked her down to Ethiopia, and the next thing I knew, I was trying to save my mom while the Joker bashed my fucking head in and then,” he trailed off, his eyes far off like he was remembering something…something he didn’t want to remember. “And then…nothing but a searing heat.”
Y/N listened intently, her heart aching for him. "Oh God, Jason...I'm so sorry. That's...that's horrific." She reached out, placing her hand on his knee. "But you survived. Against all odds, you came back."
Jason looked down at her hand, then up at her face. "Did I though? Sometimes I wonder if the real me died that day. This version of me, the one that wakes up screaming from nightmares, the one that craves violence like it's a drug...is that really considered living?"
He shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "I shouldn't have told you any of this. Now you know what a freak I am. What a danger I am to myself and everyone around me."
“Okay, yeah, I’ll admit, I’m…overwhelmed.” Y/N nodded, running a hand through her hair. “I mean, who wouldn’t be after finding out their boyfriend is some guy who’s back from the dead?”
Jason found himself wincing at her words. “I know, and I’m sorry for dumping all this shit on you. I just…this is why I didn’t want to do anything with you because I knew I’d have to explain…I knew it would push you away.”
He reached out and removed her hand from his knee. “Listen, Y/N, I’ll leave if you want and never come back. I understand that this whole thing is really fucked up of me, and if you wanna forget I even existed—hell, I don’t blame you.”
Y/N took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. She didn't want him to think she was upset with him, even if she was a bit overwhelmed. "No, don't go," she said quietly. "I don't want you to go. This is a lot to take in, Jason. I won't deny that. But I also won't deny that I care about you. And I believe that you're worth fighting for."
She placed her hand on his cheek, turning his face towards hers. "So don’t give up on us yet, okay?"
Jason looked at her, surprised. "You...you want to fight for this?"
Y/N shrugged, "what else is new? I've fought for you since the beginning, Jason. Why should this be any different?"
He looked at her, his eyes softening. "I...fuck, Y/N. You're amazing. I don't deserve you."
She smirked and kissed his lips, “how about a fuck-therapy session?”
Jason chuckled, a dark sound that held more pain than humor. "Is that what we're calling it these days?" He leaned in, capturing her lips in a rough, needy kiss. His hands moved to grip her hips, pulling her onto his lap once more.
"I don't know about therapy, but I think I could use a good fuck."
