EXPECTATIONS
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@parchment-and-paint
☼ The Sun & The Moon ☽
The passage of time has felt markedly different lately. These past months, my internal hourglass has felt like this, alternating between a state of fear and uncertainty interspersed with moments of fulfillment, clarity, and renewed purpose.
What have the cards held for you lately?
#warm colors#tarot aesthetic#weathered#weathered art
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◐ Watercolor moon ◑ Autumn is when I feel most alive and recharged; mentally, emotionally, and creatively. There’s something almost electric in the fall air; I could feel it the first day of October, as it was ushered in by the beautiful Harvest Moon. Anyone else feel it too? 🍂
Today I am the groove between tracks on a record/ The void between one song's end and another's beginning/ Today I am the tide between banks of a river/ The crashing current who does not know why she runs/ Maybe tomorrow I will be the song/ Maybe tomorrow I will be the shore
Maybe Tomorrow
Dear Diary, I'm sorry I haven't written in a while; It's because I'm finally happy.
You're amazing!
Thank you! This brightened up the slightly gloomy mood I've been in.
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You spent an hour telling me all about your feelings for her, how they're back, how you so love her presence but can't bring yourself to tell her, how it's so impossible but you can't stop thinking about her, can't stop talking about her, can't stop loving her. I spent an hour not telling you I feel the same way about you.
We Spent an Hour
3 little thoughts (9:41 pm)
(in which I write down what immediately comes to mind, inspired by @rose-infused-ink-blots)
1. I’m torn between two homes and the friends who inhabit them; It pains me deeply to leave one or the other, but how lucky I am to have two places I can call home.
2. She is elegance and grace, floral prints and coffee softened with cream. She is honest poetry and even more honest conversation. She is one to confide in, one to trust. She sees the loveliest traits in others but all too rarely recognizes them in herself. She is a dear friend.
3. I am sitting beside him exchanging stories and conversation just like old times, his eyes a warm comforting brown like the coffee we’re drinking. How easy it would be to sip coffee forever. How easy it would be to fall in love.
Today, two things happened: 1. This morning I had to get a shot. The nurse prepped my arm, gave me the injection, and then said, "This may hurt a bit." I was mildly confused as to why she'd done things in that order rather than warning me about the pain before it happened. A few hours later, my arm began to ache. Gradually, a deep pain set in and I found myself barely able to move my left arm without wincing. This must have been what the nurse meant. 2. Tonight you sent me a love song you'd written for her. There was no warning, no "This may hurt a bit." No several hour waiting period, no gradual ache forming in my heart; the pain was immediate and more excruciating than a series of shots. Each lyric stung far more than the pinch of a needle as I listened to you pour your heart out to her over the strumming of your guitar. Hours later and the ache still hasn't dulled. But hey, at least my arm doesn't hurt any more.
Today, two things happened
And just like that, you’ve become another little ache in the back of my mind, another unanswered letter, another someone who faded out of my life just as easily as you came into it.
On Coping with the Loss of a Stranger
I love you from a distance I love you from miles away I love you from backstage I love you during the silence in conversations and I love you up close I love you from beside you on the couch I love you from the comfort of your arms I love you from where my head rests on your shoulder I love you at 3 pm when we’re sipping coffee and 3 am when we’re fighting sleep and all the moments in between I love you from the day we met, from the bottom of my heart, until the end of time.
Friendship Vows
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I adore the elusive "you." I've fallen deeply in love with your eyes and felt your arms around me. I've walked hand-in-hand with you down the streets of unnamed cities, snuggled up beside you when autumn leaves began to fall, and shared kisses beneath Christmas lights. I've come to memorize the melody of your voice, I've grown to hear music in your laugh, I've learned the loveliness of your soul, and someday we'll meet.
The Elusive "You"
“Nocturne” - Watercolor.
Tonight the stars failed to make pictures. I gazed up at the black sky and saw it polka-dotted with white, a celestial paint-by-numbers whose lines simply refused to connect. My eyes traced no patterns, wandering, traversing the imageless, inky darkness, getting lost between pinpricks of light. Forsaken by Orion and Cassiopeia, I was left to navigate the night alone, gazing upwards at a sky I used to know. Tonight the stars failed to make pictures. Or maybe tonight I failed to make pictures of the stars.
Being Yours was my greatest role yet; I only wish I had known we were in a play.
And on every play the curtain must close
A piece of Heaven fell to Earth
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The world is loud like guns The world is rapid-fire, heartbreak, shattered-silence loud It's the period at the end of sentences that should have been continued And it's the red that should have been nothing more than the first color on our flag, but was instead the color of spilled blood But the world is also loud like pride The world is rapid-heartbeat, coming out, "love is love is love is love" loud It's the hands that lift us back up after we've been struck down And it's the chorus of voices that speak out, that say we will not let our community of love be destroyed by hate
The World Is Loud
Season of endless possibility, sprinkled with little magic moments- the flicker of fires against dark sky, laughter drifting on the warm air- that light up summer nights like fireflies
