this is a true story.

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

@soupylemonade

they should make it illegal to end your story with an epilogue where your main female character is suddenly randomly married and has children when she's never once expressed a desire for this previously

sometimes i feel like im climing up this incline again alone but thankully sisypus and the itsy bitsy spider and here with me

holy shit is that kate bush

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

just roundhouse kicked an angels halo smoove off

little known fact about me i was actually isekai'd into this world from the video game world. i used to be a peggle orb

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

Christian babies have so far not found a purpose or use outside of baseball

With a glory hole you're having a threesome with the house

i hope all women get scarier and meaner