violent delights

guide take them by the hand, arm, or shoulder to guide them.

shelter protect them.

shove push them.

loop drape an arm around their shoulders.

touch a gentle touch like rubbing their back, hugging them, holding their hand. 

kiss a kiss on the cheek, knuckles, forehead, in their hair.

palm smack them upside the head.

bed rest gently push them back down when they try getting out of bed.

aid help them with a task.

note pass a note to them.

cry wipe away their tears.

wash wipe something off their forehead, cheek, so on.

bandage patch them up when they get hurt.

heal take care of them when they get sick.

book silently read a story with them. 

carry pick them up. 

scrap punch them.

cherry find blood on them.

sit help them sit down.  

medical wake up in the hospital and find them holding their hand.

steer place a hand under their chin to make them look up. 

beat dance with them.

stare stare them down. 

off track get lost with them.

no shaking their head in disagreement. 

yes nodding their head in agreement.

rush tackle them to the ground.

“  i’ve polished this anger and now it’s a knife.  ” 

“  i’m fine, i’ve had worse.  ”

“  death too must be earned.  ”

“  how do you destroy a monster without becoming one ?  ”

“  am i a bad person ?  ”

“  family isn’t who you’re born with, it’s who you’d die for.  ” 

“  are you flirting or starting a fight ?  ”

“  i’ll survive, somehow i always do.  ”

“  um.. that’s my emotional support knife collection.  ”

“  tell me; would you kill to save a life ?  ”

“  i am someone who did not die when they should of.  ”

“  i’ve never been good at emotional stuff. except anger. i’m good at anger.  ”

“  you can’t protect everyone !  ”

“  i have to try.  ”

“  turn the pain into power.  ” 

“  what doesn’t kill me better run.  ”

“  are monster born or created ?  ”

“  chin up kid, they’d kill to see you fall.  ”

“  if he puts his hands on you, cut them off.  ”

“  i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me.  ”

“  don’t play games with me. don’t ever think you’re capable of that.  ”

“  the question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.  ”

“  something had made your eyes go cold.  ”

“  you haven’t even seen my bad side yet.  ”

“  everybody knows that i’m a mess.  ”

“  i’m sorry i let you down.  ”

“  well, if it isn’t the feeling i was trying to avoid.  ”

“  you are not your father.  ”

“  even on your bad days, be kind.  ”

“  you don’t want me and i need to accept that.  ”

“  stay gentle. everyone is at war.  ”

“  the risk i took was calculated. but clearly i am bad at maths.  ”

“  i wonder which will get you killed faster, your loyalty or your stubbornness ?  ”

“  always be a little kinder than necessary.  ”

“  kind words cost nothing.  ”

“  i am being perfectly fucking civil.  ”

“  we’ll never be those kids again.  ”

“  i’m the original family disappointment.  ”

“  if karma doesn’t hit you, i fucking will.  ”

“  if you can’t be happy, at least you can be drunk.  ”

“  you can talk to me, or not talk to me, but i’m here.  ”

“  guess you’ll just have to fight me.  ”

“  i never asked to be like this.  ”

These are taken from this video here. Change things as you see them fitting. Enjoy! 

“ I’m in “ 

“ I’m not sure you are real at all. “ 

“ They even advised me to be very careful about you. “ 

“ Who are you? “

“ I’m an Army Intelligent. “ 

“  There was never a shred of doubt in my mind that I was dealing with an intelligent. “

“ How can I prove to you that I’m real? “

“ How can you prove that you are real? “

“ In truth, how can any of us prove that we are real? “ 

“ I’m not much of a stock market player myself but I’ve go a strong hunch hummus is going to be BIG. “ 

“ There’s an offer of a free toaster on at the moment and I’ve got my heart set on it. “ 

“ Don’t worry about getting a toaster. “ 

“ don’t delay. I don’t have much days here on Earth. “ 

“ When are you leaving earth? “

“ I have not seen anybody that is more unserious as you are. “ 

“ Even if I die soon, do you have to mock me with it? “ 

“ I had no idea we were talking about your Death. “ 

“ What were you thinking I was talking about? am I going to Mass? “

 “ Where’s Mass? Is that where the toaster is? “

“ Sorry I mean Mars. One of the nine planets of the solar system.“ 

“ Are we counting Pluto then? “

“ I just think if he doesn’t know it’s gonna be a shock. “ 

“ And there is no free toaster. “ 

“ Are you sure because I heard I was getting a free gift. “ 

“ What sort of costumes do you do? “

“ There is no bonanza going on. “ 

“ And even if there was, conditions would apply. “ 

“ Then how do you explain this? “ 

“ Toaster Bonanza! “

“ We will appreciate it if you do not bring up this gift thing again because you won’t get any.  “ 

“ Just to be clear; are you saying that if I bring it up again I won’t get it and if that if I don’t bring it up again I will. Or are you just saying that I won’t get it at all? “ 

“ Please stop talking of a free toaster. “ 

“ To me this sounds like a broken man. “ 

“ Of course I shan’t bring it up again. You have my word.  “ 

feel  free  to  change  pronouns  around  for  whatever  fits  best  .  fair  warning  some  of  these  are  “nsfw”  in  the  teenage  boys  are  gross  kinda  way  .

‘  even serial killers live next door to somebody .  ’ ‘  tough pill to swallow , i know , but it’s true .  ’ ‘  people hardly ever let you know who they really are .  ’ ‘  the suburbs are where the craziest shit happens .  ’ ‘  what’s with all the dirt ?  ’ ‘  lame , you’re better than that .  ’ ‘  vaginas are magical .  ’ ‘  it was on vacation dipshit .  ’ ‘  i would live up here if i could .  ’ ‘  i don’t know how safe that would be .  ’ ‘  it’s a conspiracy , it’s all connected .  ’ ‘  there’s literally no proof of that .   ’ ‘  you guys are animals .  ’ ‘  you are so dead !  ’ ‘  doesn’t mean i’m ready to give it up .  ’ ‘  always something that needs reporting .   ’ ‘  you asked to touch her boobs & she threw you over the railing .  ’ ‘  okay , now i know you’re full of shit .  ’ ‘  it smells like werewolf crap .  ’ ‘  i got needs , ( name ) .  ’ ‘  she’s like scientifically the perfect woman .  ’

you broke into my house?

you were taking forever in the shower.

are you sleeping with this idiot?

never been thrown out of anywhere before in my life.

something very disturbing’s just happened. it’s horrific, really. for the second time, i’ve been thrown out of a woman’s house.

i mean, i appeal to the virile urge in all wo/men.

you need to go undercover, because you’re our best way in.

why is she able to refuse my charms?

people don’t have power over us. we give it to them. you have to take your power back.

i need to take back control. i need to behave like i always have.

i mean, it seems obvious now, actually - i need to have sex with her.

are you gonna help me or not?

you’re quite adorable when you’re flustered.

i’m not flustered, i’m nauseous.

okay, look. let me make myself perfectly clear: i will never, ever, ever sleep with you.

playing hard to get? i like it.

wow. you’ve never been rejected by a woman, have you?

the odds are definitely in your favour out there - probably not batting for the same team, but you never know. go forth and conquer. i know you want to.

i promise, if anyone here hurt your sibling, i’ll find them. and i’ll punish them.

if you weren’t so pent-up sexually, we’d be firing on all cylinders, i’d say.

i certainly don’t need any help getting wo/men into bed.

do you honestly think you can just ask people to have sex with you and they will?

you forget. i love pain.

men - they always want to talk!

we can get him/her back to where s/he belongs, if you could just provide me with a weak spot.

seriously, darling. are you well? the berries are ripe and ready to be harvested - i mean, look at me.

don’t. please.

if i get an STD from this thing, i’m gonna kill you.

is there anyone you suspect that might do this to you?

do not shush me.

a deal’s a deal - especially one with the devil.

i do believe there’s good and evil and right and wrong.

does it scare you?

i mean, how could i be scared of something i don’t believe in?

do i scare you?

either way, he’s going to get someone killed. probably himself.

this love thing makes you all quite stupid, doesn’t it?

just hand over the cash, and no one gets hurt.

i believe that’s a fair request, actually, so just pop her around and the money’s yours.

greedy little jackal, aren’t you?

what is it about you and guns, eh?

what’s up, jackass?

hell truly hath no fury like a woman scorned.

i happen to be an expert on punishment, and i’m not sure it fits the crime here.

chlamydia, the clap, a raging case of crabs - that’s what you deserve. not death.

why do humans think they can rectify one evil with another?

why does everyone say that before they’re punished?

come on, shoot me.

son of a bitch, that really hurts!

i don’t bleed!

i don’t lie. but i don’t always tell the whole truth.

can’t sleep when you’re not home.

the models don’t appear to be wearing any clothes.

you were shot and you bled. no sharp objects until we find out why.

the danger of getting hurt is positively thrilling.

now come on, tell me your most dangerous desire.

we need to get out of here now.

i am dreamy, but try to contain yourself.

i got a taste of danger, and i want more.

that whackjob’s gonna totally get me killed.

tomato, tom-ah-to.

see, that’s why we make such great partners - the ‘he said, she said’ of it all.

when do i get my own gun?

i wouldn’t trust you with my kid’s lightsaber.

if i’m gonna be forced to work with you again, i call the shots.

bloody hell! that hurt! do it again.

you know, i’m quite skilled in restraints.

let me guess, you did him a favour.

i process tragedy through my work.

that favour you owe me… i’m calling in my IOU.

i was trying to prevent more death.

well, aren’t we the little saint?

you are the oldest young person i’ve ever met.

i’m not gonna drink at a bar where everyone hates me.

did you ever consider that they hate you for that very reason?

well, somebody’s not being crowned homecoming queen, are they?

surely you’ve heard the expression ‘deal with the devil’…?

people come to me to ask for favours and more often than not, i’m happy to oblige.

i don’t need your sympathy, but thank you.

firstly, let me state that i’m in no way standing up for my associate, but on behalf of myself, and only myself, i think you’re a complete sack of arse.

sadly, the only thing broken was that incontinent troll’s nose.

if i’m not going to look out for you, who will? hm?

maybe next time, i won’t be around to save your ass.

you and my backside used to get on well.

is it my thanks you want, or a kiss?

i don’t do favours for guys like you.

what is it with the men in my life?

act like a child, get treated like a child.

witnesses said they heard you making threats at the door.

no wonder he can’t get it up.

so you’re just gonna sit around and wait for revenge? that’s rather lazy.

i was promised a gang war, and instead, i get a crybaby. this is boring.

you know, they really don’t make bad guys like they used to.

after five years behind bars, a brothel would be my go-to.

i can’t be held responsible for what happens after i give someone a favour.

if there’s one thing the devil knows, it’s that people need to take responsibility for their own bad behaviour.

enough danger for you yet?

you do remember that bullets hurt, right?

you had your hero moment. stay down, or you’re gonna get shot.

ass saved. you’re welcome.

you’re addicted to creating chaos and seeing where the chips fall, to hell with the consequences.

you’re having another one of those ‘gut feelings’, aren’t you?

you’ve already wasted so much of your life.

oh, well the good news is that whilst all dogs go to heaven, you’d be surprised how many pigs are waiting for you in hell.

you were never as good as me.

keep your enemies close, right?

who gave that order?

if you come clean now, i’ll go easy on you.

if you really want to do something, you should.

shall we move the party upstairs?

so what unpleasantness felled this heap of unrealised ambition then?

let’s pretend for one second that you’re someone else - someone nice. someone mature.

i mean, getting murdered is probably the most exciting thing that ever happened to him.

i gave up an epic foursome to be here.

call me when you’ve got a murder with a pulse - or at least someone good-looking.

i was hoping for a good shag just as a palate cleanser to wipe the foul taste of boredom from my mouth.

i need your help like i need a third boob.

- knew that was a mistake the moment it came out of my mouth.

i’ll have two tropic wonders and your face smashed into the ground.

i believe they call this interrogating!

we were like fish and chips - salt and pepper - hipsters and condescension!

if we’re gonna work together on this, you’re gonna have to trust me.

nobody steals from me and gets away with it.

he’s not gonna change.

i thought you said lying was a bad thing.

you’re not from around here, are you?

you can’t just smash two people together like barbies and think that that’s gonna fix things.

pardon the intrusion, you village people rejects, but one of you has stolen something that belongs to me.

please identify yourself, so i can punish you accordingly.

i thought we were past you thinking you’re invincible?

a few bad apples shouldn’t paint us all in a bad light, now should it?

you like being considered a criminal, don’t you?

he’s hiding something. we need to force it out of him.

i’ve sat in a parked car and not had sex.

have i done something to offend you?

ooh, whip out the cuffs then.

why shy away from a little bondage fun?

despite all your weirdness, i actually really like working with you.

i have never lied to you. and i will never lie to you.

been a while since i had a good hunt.

you’d never lie to me, right?

stick within the limits of your intellectual capacity.

why do they blame me for all their little failings?!

one day they will all come to my funeral, just to make sure that I stay dead. but today is not that day. i am alive!