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I found this somewhere and it inspired me to analyze some of Jevil's Japanese dialogue on my own! Which includes answering the question to the pronouns thing.
I know only a little Japanese and I mostly relied on Google Translate and research to get the idea of the text, so any corrections from anyone who knows more would be appreciated!
If anyone wants to see the dialogue themselves, you can find it in the Japanese Deltarune Wiki.
* SO LONELY, AM I? SO LONELY, I AM... / Samishī yo? Samishī ne… / さみしいヨ？ さみしいネ…
* LOOK, IT'S TIME FOR A VISIT. / Hōra goran yo menkaida. / ほうら ごらんよ 面会だ。
* THE 3 STANDING OVER THERE... / Soko ni tatteru 3-ri wa… / そこに 立ってる3人は…
* WHO COULD THEY BE? WHO MAY THEY BE? / daredaro na? Daredaro ne? / 誰だろナ？ 誰だろネ？
* INNOCENT, AM I? INNOCENT, I AM... I WANTED A GAME. THAT'S ALL IT WAS... THAT'S ALL IT IS... / Mujitsuda yo? Mujitsuda ne… boku wa gēmu ga shitakatta. Soredake sa… soredake da… / 無実だヨ？ 無実だネ… ボクは ゲームがしたかった。 それだけサ… それだけダ…
* THE GAME IS SO VERY FUN! BUT THE KINGS ARE SO VERY BORING. "THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS," THEY SAID AS THEY GOT ANGRY. / Gēmu wa tottemo tanoshī no. Demo ōsama-tachi totemo tsumaranai. `Keshikaran' to okotta no. / ゲームは とっても楽しいの。 でも 王様たち とても つまらない。 「けしからん」と 怒ったの。
* THAT WAS THE WISH OF THE KINGS. MY BODY IS LOCKED UP AS PUNISHMENT. IN THIS CAGE. / Sore wa nozomideshita ō-tachi no. Watashi no karada o batsu to shite tojikomeru. Kono Ori ni. / それは 望みでした 王たちの。 ワタシの体を 罰として 閉じ込める。 このオリに。
* BUT I'M QUITE FAST ON MY FEET! MY HEAD IS ALSO SHARP. MY HEAD SPINS. / Washi wa ashi ga hayai zo yo? Atama mo kireru. Atama ga mawaru. / ワシは 足が速いぞよ？ 頭もキレる。頭が回る。
* THE VICTORY OF THE CHASE IS MINE. THE ONES WHO THE KINGS CAPTURED ARE THEIR OWN PEOPLE. / Oikakekko wa bokunokachi.-Ō-tachi ga toraeta no wa jibun no min. / 追いかけっこは ボクの勝ち。 王たちが捕えたのは 自分の民。
I have no idea why google translated it to that, but it's pretty much the same sentence as the English version.
* IF YOU LOOK AT THINGS FROM THIS SIDE, YOU WON'T SEE IT THAT WAY, LIGHTNER! / Kochiragawa yori mono mireba sō wa mienu zo raitonā! / こちら側より 物見れば そうは見えぬぞ ライトナー！
* THAT'S NONE. I'M GETTING LONELY MORE AND MORE. IN THIS SMALL FREEDOM. / Nondesu soreha. Samishiku narimasu dondon watashi. Kono sasayakana jiyū no naka de. / ノン です それは。 さみしくなります どんどん 私。 この ささやかな 自由の中で。
* SHALL WE PLAY? WE SHALL, SHALLN'T WE? SHALL YOU PLAY A GAME WITH ME? / Asobou yo? Asobou ne? Boku to gēmu o shite asobou? / 遊ぼうヨ？ 遊ぼうネ？ ボクと ゲームをして遊ぼう？
* I WILL TEACH YOU WHAT TRUE FREEDOM IS REALLY LIKE!
(i dont know if shalln't is even a word)
☆ IF "PLAY A GAME" IS SELECTED
* FIND THE KEY, AND IF YOU FIND IT, I'LL SET YOU FREE. / Kagi o mitsukero mitsukereba jiyū ni shiteyaru omae-tachi. / カギを 見つけろ 見つければ 自由にしてやる おまえたち。
* THE KEY SHOULD BE HIDDEN. FROM THOSE EYES. THE OLD SHOPKEEPER KNOWS. THE SECRET. OF THE KEY. / Kagi wa kakusa rete imashou ne. Sono-me kara wa. Toshioita tenshu ga shitte imasu. Himitsu. Kagi no. / カギは 隠されていましょうね。 その目からは。 年老いた店主が 知っています。ヒミツ。カギの。
☆ AFTER FIXING THE KEY
* U-EN HIHHI U~ENHIHHI... IS THAT THE KEY? IT'S THE KEY, ISN'T IT? / U~ēn hihhi u~enhihhi… kagidesu yo? Kagidesu ne? / ウェーン ヒッヒ ウェンヒッヒ… カギですヨ？ カギですネ？
* RELEASE IT! LET IT OUT! THE AWESOME FUN! / Tokihanate! Tokihanatsu! Maa~aberasuna o tanoshi mi! / 解き放て！ 解き放つ！ マアァベラスな おたのしミ！
* NOW, OPEN THE DOOR. FREE YOURSELF. / Sā akeru nodesuto bira. Suru nodesu mizukara o kaihō. / さあ あけるのです とびら。するのです みずからを 解放。
☆ IF "DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR" IS SELECTED
* ALL CHOICES ARE GONE! HAVING COME THIS FAR, THAT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE! / Nakunarimashita sentakushi! Koko made ki toite sore wa nashi! / なくなりました 選択肢！ ここまで来といて それはナシ！
I'll kill you instantly in a lick! / Name pu de shunsatsu shite yaru ze! / 舐めプで 瞬殺してやるぜ！
* U~ENHIHHI! U~ENHIHHI! THAT'S MY LINE! I'LL MAKE YOU LICK THE GROUND! / U~ēnhihhi u~enhihhi! Sore wa kotchi no serifudesu! Jibeta o name sasete yarimasu! / ウェーンヒッヒ ウェンヒッヒ！ それは こっちのセリフです！ 地べたを 舐めさせてやります！
* LET'S GET STARTED! WE WILL GET STARTED! ON THE BEGINNING OF A VERY FUN GAME!! / Sā hajimemashou! Hajimeru yo! Tanoshī gēmu no makuake sa!! / さあ 始めましょう！ 始めるよ！ 楽しいゲームの 幕開けサ！！
Now, to clarify...
舐めプ (Namepu) means to lick, which is why Susie's line is translated to "I'll kill you in a lick". In this context, it means to underestimate and disrespect someone, not taking them seriously, like "licking" it off as a joke.
Jevil turns this line against them and turns it into something literal to say that he'll utterly humiliate them.
"That's my line" ("Sore wa kotchi no serifudesu" / 「それは こっちのセリフです」) is a Japanese phrase that means "I should be saying that to you, not you to me".
☆ IF DEFEATED WITH PACIFY
* OH, HOW GLEEING, INVIGORATING, AND UTTERLY REFRESHING! WHAT ENERGETIC CHILDREN, YOU ARE! I'M COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED! / Yukai tsūkai kibun sōkai! Nanto genkina kodomo-tachi! Watashi wa sukkari tohetoheda! / ユカイ ツーカイ 気分ソーカイ！ なんと 元気な子供たち！ 私は すっかり トヘトヘだ！
* I GUESS I'LL NOW GO INTO A DEEP SLEEP FOR 100 YEARS, HUH? / Ware kore yori 100-nen no fukai nemuri ni tsukimasho ne. / われ これより 100年の 深い眠りに つきましょね。
* UNFORTUNATELY HOWEVER, YOU GUYS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH SUCH SWEET DREAMS. / Zan'nendesukedo kimi-tachi wa ama ~ i yume to wa go muen sa. / 残念ですけど キミたちは あま～い夢とは ご無縁サ。
* YOU WILL WAKE UP. INSIDE. OF YOUR HEART. A BAD NIGHTMARE WILL WAKE YOU UP. / Mezamerumasu. Anata no kokoro. No naka ni. Warui akumu ga mezamerumasu. / 目覚めるます。あなたの心。のなかに。悪い悪夢が 目覚めるます。
* IN THE SHADOW OF THE EVIL HAND OF THE "KNIGHT" / `Kishi' no ma no te no sono kage ni. / 「騎士」の魔の手の その影に。
* CAN YOU LIGHTNERS STOP IT? / Raitonā-tachi ni tome rareru? / ライトナーたちに 止められる？
* U~EN HIHHI U~ENHIHHI! / ウェーン ヒッヒ ウェンヒッヒ！
* WELL, IN ANY CASE... QUITE SERIOUS THIS IS, SERIOUS. CHAOS, IT IS! IT IS CHAOS...! / Mā izure ni shimashite mo… korya taihen sā taihen. Kaosuda ne! Kaosuda yo…! / まあ いずれにしましても… こりゃ大変 さあ大変。カオスだネ！ カオスだヨ…！
* LIGHTNER! FROM WITHIN YOUR NARROW CAGE... / Raitonā yo! Onore no semaki ori no uchi yori… / ライトナーよ！ おのれの 狭きオリの内より…
* BRING THIS OUT! GIVE IT YOUR ALL! THE BEST AND THE STRONGEST! / Kore o mochi dase! Furishibore! Saikō no saikyō o! / これを 持ちだせ！ 振りしぼれ！ 最高の最強を！
ユカイ ツーカイ 気分ソーカイ (Yukai tsūkai kibun sōkai) is a playful and rhythmic Japanese phrase.
ユカイ (Yukai): means "fun" or "pleasant."
ツーカイ (Tsūkai): means "refreshing" or "invigorating."
気分ソーカイ (Kibun Sōkai): "気分 (kibun)" means "feeling" or "mood," and "ソーカイ (sōkai)" means "refreshed" or "clear." Together, it means "feeling refreshed."
There is no way to give an exact translation to English, so I decided to go with "how gleeing, invigorating, and utterly refreshing" according to the context of this situation.
☆ IF DEFEATED THROUGH FIGHTING
* HAHHAHHA. THIS IS SO FUN!! / Hāhhahha. Korya tanoshī!! / ハーッハッハ。こりゃ楽しい！！
* SO FAST! SO QUICK! YOU ALL SURE ARE VERY STRONG! / Subayai ne! Subayai yo! Minasan tottemo tsuyoi no ne! / すばやいネ！ すばやいヨ！ みなさん とっても 強いのネ！
* BUT YOU SHOULDN'T LET YOUR GUARD DOWN. THERE ARE STRONGER AND FASTER ONES OUT THERE, YOU KNOW! REALLY, THERE ARE! / Dakedo sa yudanhakinmotsu sa. Motto hayakute tsuyoi no ga irukara ne! Irukara yo! / だけどさ 油断は禁物さ。もっと速くて強いのが いるからネ！ いるからヨ！
* THE EVIL HAND OF THE KNIGHT IS APPROACHING. / Semari kuru wa `kishi' no ma no te. / 迫りくるは 「騎士」の魔の手。
* SOON, THE "QUEEN" WILL RETURN, AND THE ROAR OF HELL WILL ECHO FROM THE DEPTHS... / Jikini `joō' modora rete fuchi yori hibiku wa jigoku no hōkō… / じきに「女王」もどられて 淵より響くは 地獄の咆哮…
And then he says the same stuff. But yes, "this" is replaced with "me".
THOUGHTS!
So, in English, Jevil speaks in a somewhat poetic manner.
Jevil in Japanese sounds more like an excited child.
He uses a lot of "ネ/ne" and "サ/sa" and such, which gives a more playful vibe. He's also a bit more manic and/or excited maybe, perhaps a little more aggressive, and sometimes makes odd pauses between words, like you would if were trying to correct yourself or elaborate after saying something.
He, to me, overall sounds more like a messed up, childlike villain.
Instead of his trademark repeated words, he does something more unique to Japanese.
For example, "chaos, chaos!" is "カオスだヨ？ カオスだネ！/ kaosuda yo? kaosuda ne!" ("ネ/ne" means something as in "isn't it?" to see if another agrees) Not sure how to explain it, probably because of my lack of knowledge on Japanese, but he repeats a word but phrases it in a different way. This is difficult to communicate in English.
Speaking of that, let's talk about pronouns.
As the screenshot on top says, Jevil uses various "I" pronouns to refer to himself. But this doesn't just apply to himself, but everything.
He calls the fun gang "omae" one sentence and "kimi" on another. And he overall just uses various ways of phrasing throughout his dialogue that are unique to Japanese. It doesn't matter what these different ways of phrasing are for or what they mean, whether it be formality or friendliness and such, he just uses whatever whenever he wants and seemingly likes to switch between them, which is pretty fitting for the character methinks. The guy just does not care.
Oh wow, that comment up there is from my husband!!
I really appreciate your input in wanting to do some personal research into the Japanese version of Deltarune and especially Jevil's character, but if you don't mind, I would like to add a few corrections here and there to your post in places where google translate was unable to accurately translate certain aspects of text/spelling and also add some much-needed context and analysis to the dialogue!!
There are some errors in the translation you presented, not so much in a word-to-word basis but rather a cadence and context basis.
The main one I noticed was your translation of his "head" line. You inserted "I/my" pronouns when there originally were no pronouns whatsoever in the Japanese text. My husband translated all of his dialogue as well before ever posting this comment and it should read more like this:
The head. Not "my head". There is an implied disconnect in this sentence. The usage of the word "kireru/キレる" has a double entendre that you may know of, being that it's also the phrase for "to be disconnected/ broken/ to be split", and with the katakana spelling it is almost exclusively used as a way to describe one "snapping" or "losing temper/control", implying Jevil's head/mental state is broken or split and he is aware of this fact. This double-meaning would work very well for the read that Jevil's mind is split, or that he is plural, or even just that his head is literally broken from his body. I think this context is deeply necessary when translating Jevil's speech, and all options and meanings of this world should be considered especially since Toby is known for using puns and wordplay in his translations (see: all of Spamton's JPN dialogue).
Secondly, you did well in translating certain words and phrases and adding a bit of clarification, but I couldn't help but notice there wasn't much genuine analysis to the conversational, contextual aspect of these terms. Back on the topic of pronouns...
There is another intriguing analysis to be had here. "My body is locked up as punishment…" is spoken politely. A soft voice calls through the bars (hence the "cutesy"/excited appeal of most of his dialogue that you picked up on already) but then, "I'M fast, don't you know?" is spoken with "WASHI", more of booming voice. It's a pronoun for elders, mostly. It directly contradicts the context of his usage of pronouns like "watashi" and especially "boku."
I would challenge the idea that his constant switching of pronoun usage both for himself and others is simply meaningless chaos, as that's not really how localization works when you are trying to add context; Toby Fox himself has stated very recently that he actually attempts to make the Japanese version less vague. Not to mention the fact that Jevil's English phrasing is literally supposed to read like mistranslated text, while his Japanese phrasing is much more sensible and clear, giving us the idea that Jevil's Japanese is better than his English and it is meant to be interpreted as such, therefore his strange "Jevilisms" in Japanese are deeply intentional. His switching between "you" pronouns such as "omae" and "kimi" are also referential to closeness and feelings towards others when used in Japanese conversation, which actually further implies he is constantly switching between different feelings towards the Fun Gang and it's not out of simple randomness or boredom (again, this wouldn't make a lot of sense to a native Japanese speaker in this context and would add virtually nothing to his character when compared to all of his other speech quirks).
Ultimately, I think Jevil's Japanese dialogue is actually proof that he does care and he chooses his words with great intention and inflicts meaning upon each and every sentence he says, which lines up with not only his character but also a statement Toby himself made during a stream of Jevil's battle: "It only appears random. All chaos is order."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This is a little behind the scenes document that goes into the story of how this silly little webcomic came to be, the work process, as well as little extra goodies such as concept art and all that jazz. Completely free of charge of course.
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