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Drops of Jupiter shuffled on

And I remember

All the lyrics

To the very first song a boy said I reminded them of

And I was a vegetarian in high school 😹

How could he miss me- fried chicken & soy lattes

And no matter how shit or bug infested

They’ve created their own existence

And eventually they have to lie down in it

I’ve put everything in my past behind me

Over come WAY more than this petty bullying

All I have is the present

And to worry about our planet

I won’t waste any more time or writing

On things that have happened

Why carry it out longer when it won’t be in my future

I really feel sorry for those people

Who don’t have lives, who aren’t living

Or appreciate the good things they have

Ugliness really is a disease

I don’t care what they are

As long as those people stay in hell away from me

As far as fucking possible from my energy

And just out of my way entirely

They don’t want to deal with that after math

I’m more powerful than numbers or stats

If I wasn’t so valuable to the world, people wouldn’t be using me to make their own miserable lives more important

Please, be reasonable, I have way better things to do or even think about, even sitting on my ass is more useful

then talk to anyone I don’t want to

What a waste of breathe

And this precious life we’re given

Such Idiots

Idc what happens to them

If I didn’t know what comes next for me maybe I’d actually truly be angry

But you only scratched me

A childish of damage as any

I’ll be over it in the morning

The world is opening up for me

And I know what’s coming is going to make me so happy

You can stay miserable, perpetuating the same cycle

I would have helped you, wanted the best for you

Instead you’re ungrateful, doomed to always be miserable

You mean less to me than I do to you

My writings always been better

Among more important things

Like my pure soul

You’re bothered, have something to prove

I don’t care about the same things you do

And to me

That’s a blessing

No more poems will reference him.

If he’s looking - any line he steals from me

Or idea for a song from me or my poetry

will be cursed beyond his comprehension

His soul will distort beyond recognition

He can try to rip me off (AGAIN)

Keep reading

Nothing from this day forward will be about him

He’s sold his soul to demons for a long weekend

Sealed his fate with his own hate

I won’t even give him the satisfaction

Of publishing a word about him

You can say that again

Bye & Good luck he’s gonna need it

But he’ll never receive it

Careful who you cross next time, they may be able to hex better than I can, hedonist.

Even if it’s not forever,

Even if it is only just a glimpse

Its worth millions of him

To simply know what exists

To get a chance to know a real man I’d sacrifice his decomposing soul over and over again

The world won’t know his name the same

He can be the one who bleeds until empty

No one is ever going to touch him like I can

See what comes from you crossing me 🤷

Dare ya to

No one would need to lie on my name unless I was intimidating

If you didn’t believe I was above you, I wouldn’t even be on your radar

You don’t cut people down who you don’t believe are a threat

And try to spread defamation about those you are not scared by their existence

You don’t try to silence somebody unless you’re afraid of them talking

Because you have guilt and shame for how YOUVE behaved

You feel jealous and angry at people who you feel hurt by

If I have never even spoken to you, you’ve never met me

And I have nothing to do with you

If you hate me or spread lies on me

You have no idea how protected I am

Because even coming after me

I don’t hate you

I don’t even dislike you

I don’t even consider you

You are beneath me

We are not equals

Because I am kinder than you

I’m dealing with my own world

I’m dealing with what is meant for me and who I’m suppose to be

I don’t know your names or your faces and I’m not interested or hateful

I have been before

I’ve been so angry with no outlet to give it to

I’ve done things or said things I’m not proud of

To someone who didn’t deserve it

Cried my pain to those who would listen

When I regret it

But not to him or anyone he’s got fooled

I regret having any involvement at all

If I knew how down right nasty the energy

I would have stayed away from the echo entirely

Meeting him has done nothing but hurt me

Hasn’t given me a single thing I need

I don’t need to lift a finger

I’m not out to destroy my own life

And those who try to will only sink theirs lower

Say what you want about me

But each lie is laced in venom

A pretty face doesn’t mean a soul that deserves to reach its goal

Or given grace for being rotten?

You don’t reach happiness with hate

even worse when you’re values are horrid

You’re so much drama it’s disgusting

I could throw up from it

It’s only upsetting because I believed him to be so much better than this

Boy was I as wrong as one can fucking be

I’m not miserable

But everything having to do with him has been

I thought he was sweet

Turns out he’s cruel and unkind

Not like mine

He must really hate himself

And everyone he keeps around him must hate themselves too

Because I know who I am

And I don’t let things like this under my skin

I don’t even care what you can infer from this

Have a nice life sure whatever

Or don’t I really don’t care anymore

you’ve finally crossed my line

And now all I think

Is that you were someone nice to look at only

An empty face

Soulless and wrapped up in him self

Selfish, borderline sociopathic

With no depth and you’re the one who’s dead

I wouldn’t even sink my teeth in

Thank you for alienating me and being a complete bully

I stuck up for you.. how wrong I was

To be rude to a real love

For someone so rude

Thanks for showing me finally how wrong I can be about someone

I don’t need anymore nails in my coffin, thanks

I want to give to him when or where he isn’t

I want to fill in the blanks for him

I want to hold his hand and walk him through anything he doesn’t want to do alone

I want to show him he is capable of anything

That I am more than worthy of his love

That it is not him or I on that pedestal

But our connection held high

That my love for him

And his love for me

Is what makes us both shining

That he is beyond enough

Because of my love

And I am greater than I believe

Because he loves me

That there is nothing I wouldn’t do for him

And there is no length he wouldn’t go to save me

On sad days I want to be his smiling face

On bad days I want him to remind me my grace

I want to support him in every way possible

And feel his immense apprication for me

I can make it all about him

Because that’s honoring my wishes

I don’t want the spotlight

I don’t want it to be about me but secretly

I want him to focus on me

So immeasurably that my wish is his command

And I wish for it to be about him mainly

For us to be what is worked on

For our connection to never waver and only grow stronger

If he blames me I will ask him what I am doing

If I feel neglected any he will be there to remind me he’s just busy and still loves me

My dreams will become our reality

And any accomplishment he sets out to conquer

Will be a success I reinforce further

I will always remind him when he is tired or wary or confused that he has all the clues

Nothing is out of reach for who

That this one life has blessed him with all of his wildest dreams

Together we’ll be unstoppable

I didn’t say your name

No gossip or details

The person I was speaking to

Told me I was glowing

I glow when I talk about you

To be the best looking man in the world to me

He doesn’t need to be the best singer to grace a stage

To be the best performer to me

He doesn’t need to play the guitar better than anybody

To be who plays the guitar best with me

He doesn’t need to be the tallest or the biggest, or the fittest

To have a body perfectly fit for me

He doesn’t need fame or following

For me to think he’s my favorite person in the world

He doesn’t need to cure cancer, or have the worlds highest iq

To make real change in this world for the better

He doesn’t need to have the largest heart metaphorically

To be able to love me endlessly and have it grow insurmountably

He doesn’t need me to mean much to anybody

For me to mean the world to him singularly

He doesn’t need saving

For me to protect him

All these things apply to me too

He loves me all the same as well

Any day, any time

We feel the same, because I know it to be true

We feel it in our bones

You think I’m fit for just anybody

I’ve died at the hands of-

And I’ve taken in self defense

And you’ve never been camping??

I am a survivalist

Don’t you think any of this

Would have been the death of me already

I HAVE died by all of this

Somehow in this life

For whatever is to come of it

All the tension leaves my face imagining

I’d be the happiest girl in the world

As I shake his collar in front of him

He’s on his hind legs

He’s jumping

Tongue flailing

We are dancing

He loves something so simple

My dog with a collar

Would do anything for me

He’s my obedient

But that makes me his queen

I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything

They involve seeing me

And me existing

No worry about a masculine expression or delicacy

a beauty unable to see

Centuries old was our stories told

We made a promise

To see each other again

To never lose sight of our spirit

But there has been no lock and key

Nothing saying you belong to me

Spirit of fire always

A soul so strong together we are not to keep

Burning villages so we can speak

No sacrifice too many

A fight at the end of the day

For more than just the love we carry

Something angry

Throats slit for the pure question of it

I know you feel me

I know you can make sense of this

The fight we’ve been through

Made sense back then

The craziness

A devotion that can only be described as honor

We would never have left each other

That’s why now it’s so unsettling

Because here we are living another love story

I have not had many lovers

In lifetimes what felt most inert and stable

Was what was least present

Then easy to accept and be absent of

The fight is between us

Because we are not perfect

A sword been forged for eternity

In so many bodies

You have protected me

Been led to me

Time and time again

But in these half of our stories

We must accept

Being with some body else

Someone more safe

Who won’t endanger us

In a time worse

But safer

Our love puts eachother at risk

We’ve never been granted peace

Other than when we let

Others love us

When you’ve allowed experiences out of our own protect(ion)

Alcohol - drugs - society & psychology

Other worlds we had dirt and mud

Huts on battle fields

On cots I’ve cleaned your wounds

I see you beyond what anyone else knows

Because I’ve cured your scars

Here I only tried to soothe you

But where we came from

We were not royalty

I was the nurse to your knight

And we both suffered

But our love was brighter

We fought for any second of love we could share

The pain we felt was all from over coming

I see a story I don’t know is true

But there is fact, that

I cared for you

And you hated everything that wasn’t me

You still are so annoyed with humanity

I’ve only loved the two of you

In life times unbeknownst to me

A prince admiring me but not always serving

Here he can be a man, I can help him

Here you are lost and unable to allow me to

I can’t remind you this time

I tried too

You know me

You know me

And you know what I’m capable of

I would never control or force you like I have before-

To take medicine

To let me gauze your gashes

Here you almost hate me

Because you wish you didn’t love me

Because I am too tired

We are both more worn in

Easily tempered and tantruming

A confusion

There’s just enough space

For us to see

But not act on it

In this world..

I am allowed to be with him

I don’t save as many

But you do less harm, less done to you

That’s our holy water, our silver lining

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen you

I see you always

In every life

You see me too

I could have run

Could have avoided the whole thing

But you always captivate me

I’ve cried here more for the taking

Then each story where you were taken from me

I knew you were mine

And I knew he was too

But here neither of you are

Because you’re shadows of eachother

Stories I’m so grateful for

But he simply loves me

Doesn’t know the realm of the devil you both carry with clairvoyance uncanny 

He doesn’t know how to hate

And he is half of my souls purpose

He needs me.

My purpose to fulfill

My time to be his knight

More than both you and your doppelgänger could comprehend here sadly

Because you both have always protected me

He wants to, but he needs it more from me

And I have to rise up

I have to be so much

That I can save him.

I am so grateful

for you, and for him

Tears fill my eyes for how many lives

I would be in demise

So much sooner than I’ve ever thought possible

But you’ve protected me always

And that’s why

In this life you still aggressively

Pushed me away

So I could love him

I wouldn’t have if either of you had chosen me

But here you are enraged by me

Here you allowed me to choose him

You begrudgingly let me

Knowing if you hadn’t

I never would

Your love for humanity

Is allowing me to see

What it’s like with somebody

You have enough faith

In how much I love thee

That you actually have a morbid curiosity

In seeing

If he can actually make me happy

If I would choose him

But the thing your hard heart doesn’t see

Is..

No mater how much I can love him

How much he can over take me

Just as you can clearly

That it doesn’t change a single thing

About how deeply I have fondly loved you

And how ingrained in me it is

To always want what’s best for you

You’ll meet someone more boring too

Someone who doesn’t see what I do

But sometimes maybe a simpler life

Means we both can breathe

Live easy

In this life you will get all of your dreams

It pains me to see you still unhappy

Thinking another will solve it

But they are not me

And he is not you

You are eachother

And somewhere out there my twin exists

Happy family

But right here, and now

We are experiencing limerence

We take drugs

And we want to become material things

I’ve overcome so much

I feel your touch

Hands on my chest

But your actions here

Are not what he would have ever done then

So you are not him

Who he was who loved

You’ve chosen himself

And I find solace in that

It won’t be another women

It will always be yourself

And I am at peace with that

What scares you

Is you know, me choosing myself

Means choosing someone who would always choose me

Even when I’m not choosing them

They are happy I choose anyone

As they think I deserve love regardless of the one

And that makes it him

You clenched me to tightly

As I did for/to you

Almost as if you were afraid of me

And I scared of you

Now I have no choice

I have to choose too

But to truly terrify you

I wish it wasn’t this way my love

But I lived so many lives

Scared for you

Now scared of you

It’s your turn to exist

In a world

You know what that feels like

I love you

I will always love you

And you know that’s true

It terrifies you

As much as thinking

When it’s never worked out before

When I’ve always been hurt or worse

Feels almost as painful as heart break

It’s easier to doubt

But that would be the biggest mistake I’d ever make

If every bad and traumatic thing

Led me to this moment

To put me on this path to see him

I need to trust in it

I need to give all of myself up to it

Release it from my grasp

Let go of any expectations

And just pray

Peace must wash over me

It must consume me

With all my strength

I need to rise to this

I need to know I’m almost alien

That I am so rare and unique

I was made for somebody

Who was also made for me

That there’s even more than I can even imagine

This world is a dream

Some escape all suffering

I once saw some similarly

When I was a preteen.

My first crush as a baby

And the first man I ever dated

Green eyes that shined

But none have ever compared to him

I see the same glowing

Feel the same sensations

But there’s something that happens

It’s not a feeling I can describe in my body

It’s not any one single thought my brain thinks

It’s a whole experience beyond my bodies capabilities of comprehending

As if I’m climbing through a window

Or answering the door

And what’s on the other side is beyond my comprehension

It’s something I could take my whole life deciphering

It’s greater than words or pictures

It feels like something I’ve spent my whole life searching

But never realizing until I saw them

That’s what I was missing

I felt so lost looking

Because I didn’t know what, who or where

Always assuming or questioning (settling)

But he’s right there

It’s through his eyes

It’s through mine

It’s greater than anything I could have ever imagined

I’m struck down, seeing stars

Think I’m delirious, easily called crazy

The most exhilarating and eye opening thing to ever happen to me

Terrifying because nothing I’ve ever known

Has been both

Beyond intense and blissfully comforting

Safe and secure

I’m choosing to trust it

Put my whole soul into it

Everything I have inside of me,

And everything around me

Everything surrounds this