Papa Shango is Late

When I’m sitting next to all of WWE at a bar and I play Nicki Minaj on the jukebox.

Only a few sources have it, but an anonymous testimonial from a current developmental Diva on Reddit (http://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/2y5iiv/bill_demott_and_sexual_harassment_coverup/) was, apparently, the last straw:

http://www.wrestlinginc.com/wi/news/2015/0306/590102/bill-demott-announces-he-is-stepping-down-from-nxt-head-trainer/

One assumes that someone (let's go with HHH, because it sure as fuck wasn't Vince or Dunn) realized that their internal investigations weren't worth shit since DeMott himself had scared the active roster into silence.

No, Brood Harder.

Harder ...

Harder ...

This is AJ Lee.

She is a three-time WWE Divas Champion. Her first reign with that title is the longest in history, at 295 days. By certain metrics, she is the most popular (and certainly the most prominent) women's wrestler in the WWE since Trish Stratus and Lita.

She is also among the best, a charismatic and relatable performer with a track record of great performances over several years on the main roster.

As it happens, she is married to CM Punk, who no longer works for WWE.

Did you know that? Did you have that widely-available, endlessly-reported piece of information? Are you one of the tens of millions of people who possess that knowledge? Good for you!

If, however, you chant CM Punk's name when AJ Lee appears in an arena, I'd like to offer this:

FUCK YOU, YOU MISOGYNISTIC, MOUTHBREATHING, FOREVER-ALONE PIECE OF SHIT.

Oh, you wanted to tell WWE that you remember CM Punk? Because, I guess, you think they forgot that smarky smarks like CM Punk? And what's that — you'd like to do it when his wife appears?

Oh, well then FUCK YOU, YOU MISOGYNISTIC, MOUTHBREATHING, FOREVER-ALONE PIECE OF SHIT.

We may approach this from a feminist perspective, wherein we point out that it is disrespectful (some would say dehumanising) to acknowledge a female performer only in terms of who her husband is.

We may approach this from the perspective of the true CM Punk fan, who should be aware that he has personally requested that no one chant his name at his wife. (Also, CM Punk hates you, as well he should.)

We may approach this from a wrestling fan's perspective and make the (correct) argument that hijacking an unrelated segment of a show with a silly chant derails the proceedings in a way that's not productive to the show or the overall evolution of the artform.

But — perhaps most appropriately — we should approach this with the following argument: Your chant is fucking stupid. So you believe that CM Punk was mistreated and underappreciated by WWE and it's unjust that he's no longer part of the company. So you feel that WWE is trying to sweep Punk's achievements (and allegations) under the rug. So you feel that AJ Lee's presence is a reminder that Punk exists as, like, an entity. So you want to take the opportunity to remind WWE that you like CM Punk and you don't like them very much.

Yeah, I'm sure they fucking care. I'm sure that they are really distressed that a bunch of dudes who have just contributed financially to their most sustainable stream of revenue decided to yell the name of a guy who has no intention of ever wrestling again. I'm sure that really pisses them off. Boy, Vince McMahon must be fuming that the people who literally just handed him money yelled a name for 15 seconds! Boy, I bet that they'll have to bring Punk back in the face of this overwhelming chant! I bet that Punk, so touched that a bunch of people yelled his name at his wife over his express wishes that they not do so, will suddenly love professional wrestling again and come back to win 20 world titles at 20 consecutive Wrestlemanias before becoming the CEO of WWE and turning it into 2003-era Ring of Honor!

Oh wait. Literally nothing will happen when you chant CM Punk's name, because of fucking course it won't.

Nothing, that is, except you revealing yourself as a misogynistic, mouthbreathing, forever-alone piece of shit.

If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. But assuming that this guy is full of shit — and the last word from the Reddit mods was to consider his shit-level full indeed — we've reached a new plateau of internet fan stupidity.

Because this guy is actually trying to Wag the Dog and change the Wrestlemania main event from his laptop.

I don't think that this is a case of someone trolling to troll for the sake of trolling. There's method to this madness. Guy hopes that he posts this rumor, Reddit — to which HHH/WWE pays attention — gets behind it, then the Observer gets behind it, then WWE has to address it, then WHAT HE TALKS ABOUT ACTUALLY HAPPENS and Brock doesn't want to work with a guy tied to PED rumors.

Again, there's a 5% chance this guy is legit, and probably a 10% chance that this guy has received bad information that he's treating as gospel. But I'm pretty sure he's actually trying to pull the strings on a masterful scheme to book Wrestlemania himself.

Fastlane Stuff

This match was awesome and I'm pumped for Reigns-Lesnar now.

If you didn't watch this and accept that Reigns is a long-term main eventer, you weren't paying attention. I have concerns about how he would do against an opponent who couldn't call the shots — hence why the Kane/Big Show matches are so bad — but this was a legitimately exciting match with lots of drama and a fine main event.

About the only problem with Reigns-Lesnar is that it's at Mania. Admittedly, it has neither the mega-match feel of a Rock-Cena nor the story of something like Wrestlemania XXX. But take the context away (in other words, be less of a mark). If Reigns-Lesnar were the main event at Fastlane or No Way Out or In Your House Rock Bottom or whatever, you'd be pumped.

Fastlane Stuff

Shit was good.