My void

Are you hurting right now? I’m sorry. Times can get bad. Life can sometimes be down right shitty. Maybe you relapsed for the first time, or even the tenth time. Maybe you had a panic attack and isolated yourself from friends and family today. Maybe you’re someone who thinks they don’t have any friends or family to care about them. For whatever it is you’re going through, I want you to take a deep breath, fuck it, take 5 deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Relax. Remain calm. You can do this. Life will go on and you need to be around to see what happens next, okay?

shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

Nothing, really.

it fucked me up when it hit me how i’ve internalized my abuse. when it hit my that kids laughing and playing with their parents is genuine. that wives and husbands being in love wasn’t a ruse. when it hit me that others doing favors for me weren’t so i could owe them, that i don’t have to clean up after everyone, that i don’t need to explain myself all the time. it fucked me up so bad that i’ve never been loved enough in my childhood to know this. i cried for hours when it hit me.