Pandainate

The World Government has just found out that the Youth Panda group is taunting us Humans! They have started posting signs in random areas with derogatory statements on them and ridiculous pictures.

Thankfully this is in retaliation to the information our diligent agents have managed to find out. It has come to our attention that the Pandainate are only a small part of this scheme. We have yet to figure out who or what else is involved with the Pandainate. However we have our best agents on it.

In the meantime please keep safe and remember these rules.

Look the other way

Do not approach

Do not speak to it

Avoid Panda spray paint areas

Do not acknowledge its existence

Take a photo

If approached throw a piece of bamboo and run

Keep your youths from sight

Do not click on or watch any panda songs

Post photo on local media site with #pandainate

The Pandainate have started creating their own music videos!! It has come to the World Government’s attention that the videos are made by this new group of youth pandas. We are unsure of the purpose of these videos however we have our best pop culture agents on it. 

In the mean time we wish to stress the importants of not watching any panda related items. Based on what we have discovered so far the youth panda off shoot is a way to connect to the younger generation. These rebellious acts and cool music videos are a way to show that pandas are not only cool but relatable.

This is untrue. As we have stated before the panda is a species of bear and as such an animal. We must remember that no matter what the pandas do they are in fact a group of well organized spies. We are still unsure as to what the purpose of the Pandainate is however if any information is found please state “They are here.” and then repeat your information backwards into the empty air. Don’t worry we will get it.

In the mean time please follow these rules. 

Look the other way

Do not approach

Do not speak to it

Avoid Panda spray paint areas

Do not acknowledge its existence

Take a photo

If approached throw a piece of bamboo and run

Keep your youths from sight

Do not click on or watch any panda songs

The World Government has come across some very important information. A small faction of youth pandas have broken away from the Pandainate in a rebelion. We are unsure as to what or why they are unhappy with in the Pandinate organization.

However it just as important to keep in mind that even if they are young they are still Pandas. An agent from The World Government has attempted to get closer to theses rebellious youth Pandas to only be turned away by the silent staring of 10 Pandas.

A group of youth Pandas have been spotted in 798 spray painting the wall with a message to the older Pandainate members. We are unsure as to what the message is, but we have a photo of it so that you know what to look for in case you come across any of these youth Panda groups.

As this is a new group of unknown wants that has cropped up from the Pandainate group we have added a few new rules to follow incase of an encounter.

Look the other way

Do not approach

Do not speak to it

Avoid Panda spray paint areas

Do not acknowledge its existence

Take a photo

If approached throw a piece of bamboo and run

Keep your youths from sight

Post photo on local media site with #pandainate

Alert!!

It has come to our attention that there is a ride at the Beijing Theme Park, the one that has an uncanning resemblance to ‘Its a Small World’, has been infested! There is an entire section FILLED with pandas.

The World Government has come to understand this as a subtle way to integrate the thought that Panda’s are people to. This is not true. We your ever caring World Government know for a fact that Pandas are Ailuropoda melanoleuca. A type of bear!

These creatures are becomeing very smart in their infiltration tactics and we have decided to up the danger level to a 5 in this area.

If you are going to the Beijing theme park please remember these safety rules when in the presents of a Panda.

Look the other way

Do not approach

Do not speak to it

Do not acknowledge its existence

Take a photo

If approached throw a piece of bamboo and run

Post photo on local media site with #pandainate

New information on the Pandainate threat has just come in. It has been brought to the World Governments attention that a new panda statue display has been added in Xidan. These scheming pandas have made it so that you can run around several statues and take photos with them.

It has turned into a tourist attraction! Please, understand that this is not a joke. The Pandainate is a real threat and humoring them is not advised. The more panda paraphernalia that you buy and or hang around makes information gathering that much easier for them.

While the World Government understands that you find these things cuddly and dare we say cute, they are anything but. Remember to follow the rules for any Pandainate spottings, be it members or otherwise.

Look the other way

Do not approach

Do not speak to it

Do not acknowledge its existance

Take a photo

If approached throw a piece of bamboo and run

Post photo on local media site with #pandainate

It has been three months since our last update on the Pandainate. The lack of information concerning this vile and secretive organization was due to an officer that had infiltrated a base. In an effort to  keep him safe and prevent information leaks we had stopped all updates.

Unfortunately our officer was discovered and had to be released from active duty. He also developed an unusual fear of Bamboo. As such we must repeat that it is of the upmost importance that you keep a watchful eye out for any Panda activity near you.

As of yet we do not know what the main goal of the Pandainate is but we have spotted a new store that they are using as a front  for their organization. A photo below shows the store that they are using.

Stay safe, be wary of the Pandainate, and remember the following rules when you spot or have the unfortunate encounter with a Panda.

Look the other way

Do not approach

Do not speak to it

Do not acknowledge its existance

Take a photo

If approached throw a piece of bamboo and run

Post photo on local media site with #pandainate

Remember that we the World Government are here for you. If you have any concerns please dial Pandainate also known as (726) 324-6283. Please note that if you dial this number we will not answer, but we will show up at your location directly.

To all concerned citizens. A Pandainate member has been spotted at a local Kindergarten in Beijing. It was posing as a lovable mascot to infiltrate our Human education centers. Please be on the look out for this Panda. As of yet we do not know why it chose this school but there are many reports of its existence. As such we will try to catch this vile Panda and find out more information.

Until then please follow the rules for any spotted Pandainate member.

Look the other way

Do not approach

Do not speak to it

Do not acknowledge its existance

Take a photo

If approached throw a piece of bamboo and run

Post photo on local media site with #pandainate

The Pandainate or the Panda Illuminate is an organization whose main goal is to keep tabs on the Human world while spreading awareness of these events to Pandas around the world.

The Pandainate is based in China and sends agents out all over to bring back information. If you or a loved one see anything related to the Pandainate please walk the other way while discreetly taking a picture and add #pandainate.

Things to look out for: Abnormal events, displays, or an unnatural number of Pandas in the area.