It’s funny how one moment he had been simply strolling through a museum, and the next he had been faced with the person that would change his life. He hadn’t even been looking for anyone, was too busy trying to recover from the trauma experienced in the battlefield, but he’d found Anton. He’d found him and he fell in love and built a life with him. This crappy apartment that they share together had become a home, even when the heating didn’t work and the floorboards squeaked. They’d bought Yoda together, painted the entire apartment together, at least tried to cook together, even if Michel had very nearly burned their kitchen down in the process. They’d picked out these sheets together, had decorated the rooms together, decided whose drawers would be whose, divided the bathroom equally, and Michel didn’t even mind when Anton’s crap ended up on his side. His mornings were made up of moving around each other in the kitchen and bathroom, and sharing kisses goodbye that lasted long enough to make them both late. His evenings were filled with soft banter about their days, being unable to keep his hands to himself and pulling his boyfriend close at night instead of pulling the blankets tighter around himself. Staring at Anton now, Michel can easily admit that every moment they had spent together had been the best moments of his life. Even when they fought with each other and he couldn’t stand the sight of his face that day, he loved Anton above all else.
“Marry me.” He lets it slip from his mouth, surprising even himself. The words have been on the tip of his tongue for months now, the ring had been sitting in his drawer for weeks and he’d imagined a million different ways he could do it, had been overthinking it so much that he simply couldn’t settle on one scenario, but none of them felt as right as this. In the midst of a soft domestic moment filled with adoration, and it’s so entirely them. Mica laughs softly, hands sliding up to cup Anton’s face between them as he smiles wide. “This wasn’t…I’ve wanted to ask for so long, and this wasn’t how I pictured it. But I meant it when I said this was my favourite part of the day, schatzi. You’re my favourite part of every day, and I want a million more moments like this. Just you and me and our life together.” His heart pounds at what feels the pace of a hummingbirds, excitement and nerves running through his veins as caution is thrown entirely to the wind and he hands over the power to destroy him completely. “I love you. More than I thought I could love anyone.“ He’d thought after he’d returned from war that such a thing wasn’t possible. He’d thought his soul had been darkened and twisted into something ugly and unlovable. And while that fact may still be true, Anton has pulled a warmth and lightness from him that he forgot even existed before. He’d made him feel human once more and he doesn’t think he could survive a single day without the light that Anton provided. “And I want to be bound to you in every possible way.”
His thumbs stroke across his lover’s cheeks and he wants to drink the moment in. He looks into brown eyes that he’s lost himself in a million times now and can not imagine never seeing again. His fingertips are brushing against dark, silky strands that he’s tangled his hands in more times than he can count, that he loves seeing splayed across his pillow morning out. His gaze falls briefly to the mouth that he’s elicited moans and gasps and laughs from day after day and he thinks he’d kiss him now if he didn’t want an answer so badly. Finally, his gaze returns to Anton’s and God, he loves this man. Loves the way he makes Mica feel, loves the fact that he has someone in this world that understands him completely and he would quite happily live out the rest of his days making sure Anton felt the same. He’s not a man of many words, but he makes a silent promise in that moment. He was going to be there through everything, thick and thin. He was going to go to every opening show and buy flowers every time. He was going to make a big deal of every tv show he was in and made sure everyone he knew made sure to watch it too. He was going to try and find the patience not to get mad every time he found glitter glue on the bathroom floor, and to make sure he made up for it when he got angry regardless. He would change the kitty litters without complaint, do the dishes after Anton cooked. And above all else, he would be there for him through everything. He would love him every single moment of the rest of his life. “So, Anton Louis Luxemburg. Will you marry me?”
he gapes at michel, somewhere between surprised and overwhelmed; slack-jawed and stunned and yet trying his hardest to not to cry. “you’re crazy,” anton laughs, sitting up in bed as quickly as he can, arms tight around michel’s waist to keep him from going anywhere. there’s a little voice in his head that’s telling him to hold on as hard as humanly possible, telling him to make sure he’s not suddenly going to wake up and find out this is a dream he’s been waiting on for so very long. ( he’s pretty sure he’s had this dream before - even while he’s been awake. pretty sure he’s imagined those words coming from mica’s lips as they’ve lounged in bed on early sunday mornings, legs tangled and breaths intermingled. he’s wanted to hear them as they’ve trudged home through the snow on many a winter night, holding on to each other’s hands as if they might suddenly lose each other in the cold drift. he’s wanted to ask the question himself, wanted to whisper it against his boyfriend’s neck or press it against his hair. he’s wanted to turn around in his arms in the middle of the night and say the words between them for years now. ) “you’re absolute crazy, i love you - ” anton cuts himself off with a sigh, burying his head against mica’s chest, unable to keep the biggest fucking smile off of his face, blinking away the beginnings of tears and almost shaking with excitement. this is not how he pictured it - not even close. he didn’t expect there to be takeaway on the nightstand and rumpled covers all around them. he didn’t expect michel to be in his lap, and he sure as hell didn’t expect his hair to be an absolute mess. he didn’t expect any of this. he wouldn’t change a single fucking thing. “i love you, you infuriatingly lovely man.” he tilts his head back, dark eyes bright and wet, bottom lip pulled between his teeth. “i can’t believe you just proposed to me here - ” anton gestured to their room, shaking his head with a giggle, “ - but i still love you.”
he doesn’t need to think about the answer, though; doesn’t even need to take his time, doesn’t need to mull over it for even the skin of a moment. because he’s pretty sure he’s known the answer since the first time they met, since he’d turned and smiled at a gorgeous stranger and felt absolutely bowled over. he’s known the answer since they moved into this shoddy flat, since they painted the living rooms walls that awful yellow and laughed into messy kisses on the newspaper covered floors. he’s known the answer all those very many times that he’s stood cooking dinner and blown over a spoonful of sauce, passing it over for mica to taste and smiling affectionately at his reply. hell, he’s known the answer on all those mornings when they’ve moved around each other symbiotically, getting dressed and doing their hair; pulling each other in for drawn out kisses and drinking their morning coffee pressed against each other on the tube. anton knows he’s a lot to handle - knows he’s more than what anyone’s ever tried to handle. he’s got a lot of baggage, literal and metaphorical. he steals clothes even though he has more clothes than he’ll ever wear; it takes him at least an hour to put his face on in the morning; he’s never been appropriate in his entire life, and he’s pretty sure he never will be. but mica’s taken him for what he is, whether that’s in skirts on a july evening out or hoodies in the dead cold of winter. he’s taken him for all his tantrums and insecurities, held his hand through every shitty performance review and kissed him goodnight even when they’ve had a row. anton knows, he does. he knows that michel’s got his own demons, that there are some things he’ll never understand, that his boyfriend has his own moments of impatience. but he wants to be there for every single one of them, and he’s known that for four years, ever since he caught sight of him in the middle of a crowded museum.
flipping them over, he pushes mica down onto the mattress until they’re face to face, chest to chest, legs a tangle of limbs. he wants this forever - them, their little world. in the end, he doesn’t really need much at all. “you’re my favourite part of every day too,” anton replies, knocking their noses together as he brushes his hair off his face and leans in for a chaste kiss. he’s never understood the point of family because he’s never had much of one, but. but michel is the family he wants - the family he wants to stand up and declare himself to, because this is the one person who can make his heart beat out of his ribcage and calm down all at once. michel is the one person he can give himself to and know he’s completely safe. his world is rose-coloured with or without glasses and anton can’t imagine a life without this man. “i love you too, shatzi.” he smiles, wide and easy and honest. he wants to see mica graduate art school and he wants another cat, maybe even a dog. he wants a wedding where they don’t have to pretend like they’re anything but who they are, and he wants a honeymoon where he can leave bruises and promises against mica’s hips. he wants an eternity of laughs shared over the bathroom sink and he wants to huddle close in the middle of every single night because he’s sure they’re together. he wants everything they can have in this lifetime, he’ll get the rest in another. “i love you more than you will ever know and more than i can ever tell you.” anton kisses his cheek, hands cupped around his jaw. “ michel johann kemmerich, of course i’ll fucking marry you.” laughing, he dips in for a longer kiss, insistent and sloppy. “i’m going to be the best goddamn husband you’ve ever had.”
