Pancakes for Two

It’s been like three thousand years and they still haven’t figured it out.

the idea of getting banned from twitter for saying mean things is so unbelievably foreign to me . every time this site updates people tag staff and say shit like “gargle my dick and balls” whereas on twitter if you insinuate that maybe you’re not the greatest fan of Papa John’s and would like to stop seeing their ads twitter kicks your account into the void for a week

you have to unlearn social cues to be a lush employee

Lush employee once asked if i wanted to sample some soap. I said sure, thinking id smell it or she’d let me wash my hands with it or something. She takes me by the arm and leads me to a sink. And fucking washes my entire arm. Up to the shoulder. I short circuited from how bold and intimate that was. It was my first time in a Lush, as i was an edgy mall rat in my teens so they wouldn’t let me in growing up. I had no idea of the intricate rituals that take place there.

buttered bread really is the epitome of goodness & purity

This post has killed me.