anne

"Sometimes I think our relationship was better on tour," You spoke with a heavy regret as soon as you said it.

"Really? You think it was better when I was away all the time?" Elijah questioned quickly, very clearly mad.

"I think it's better than this!" You defended yourself, standing up. "Do you have any goals outside of your band? Any for our relationship?" You asked back.

"Things are unstable right now, that'll come with time-"

"Time! It's always 'time' with you, everything!" You sternly said, trying hard to avoid yelling, "Newsflash, Eli, nothing is stable! Nothings ever going to be, you treat me like i'm the other woman."

"The other woman? Oh so now you wanna imply I cheat on you," He rolled his eyes.

"That's not what I'm saying and you know it. I'm saying i'm an afterthought. It's always the band, the tour, the album, the demo. At least while you were on tour I could justify it," You rambled.

"We're together plenty, for christ's sake, we live together!"

"Does sitting in a room together, you working on a demo and me reading count?" You asked, completely flabbergasted.

"Why wouldn't it?" He said, genuinely.

You put your head in your hands, shaking it. "I can't do this, I can't do this," you mumbled, pacing, "I'm gonna go to my Mum's, you can..." You waved your hand around, symbolizing that he could do whatever.

"Are you serious, baby-" He grabbed your arm before you tore it away.

"Don't touch me! I'm going, I wanna sleep, I have things to do, I don't have time to argue with you."

The next morning, Elijah played the last interactions in his head over and over and over. Particularly, your last line- "I don't have time to argue with you."

The singer believed in a lot of things, one of those was that arguing was important. You two needed to argue, to show that you care. How you ended it felt like the opposite of that. You didn't care to fight for your relationship anymore, that you had bigger and better things to do. This notion grew and grew until he became an inconsolable insecure ball beneath your comforter.

How could he win you back? Should he even try? You clearly had already mentally moved on, so maybe he should too.

One day on the last tour, he went out wandering, and ended up at a jewelry shop. Sitting there was an oval diamond engagement ring, with smaller diamonds around it. The price would put a dent in his wallet for months. But, god did it remind him so much of you. So, he walked out with a ring in his pocket and a dent in his wallet.

The ring was still in his bag from tour. It released memories into the air like mold released toxins. He couldn't return it, he had completely forgotten where he had gotten it. He couldn't give it to another girl, that idea made him sick.

You weren't sure what time it was when you opened the door to your flat, only that it was late. You had a long talk with your mum, bringing you the clarity needed to figure out the rough patch in your relationship. "Eli?" You called out. Nothing. It was weird for Eli to not be up at this hour, being the night owl he was. You crept towards your room, pushing the door open. He was underneath a pile of blankets, asleep. "Baby?" You asked as you pushed the blankets off of his face.

Once his eyes fluttered open and met yours, he ditched his plan from earlier. He needed you. He needed to fight for this relationship. "You're back?" He whispered.

"Yeah... have you eaten?" You questioned, looking over him. He looked a mess. There were tears stained on his face and he looked nearly gaunt. He shook his head.

You took him to the kitchen, letting him sit down on a stool infront of the island as you heated up leftover pasta. "Do you still love me?" The guitarist's voice was quiet, nearly inaudible.

"Of course I do. Why would you ask that?" Your brow furrowed.

"You didn't care to argue with me," It sounded dumb now that he said it out loud, but you immediately knew what he was talking about.

You slid the pasta to him, "I'm sorry, I was just focused on work, I didn't wanna get up all exhausted because I stayed up last night," You paused, "I suppose we both got too focused on work. We should take some time for us."

He nodded. "I, uh, I do have goals for us. Just so you know. I just don't want to push us into something and we end up having to cut corners or it ends up being too much for the little time we have," He explained.

"I get it, I do. But, I don't care for extravagant things, Eli, I care for you," You told him. The singer pursed his lips, trying to fight back a smirk. "What did you do?" You asked, as a smile slowly spread across both of your faces. He shook his head, trying to get out of answering.

After a few minutes of pressuring him, he spoke, "Uhm, there's a ring." You stared at him dumbfounded and happier than ever. "But, you aren't gonna see it for a while. I don't wanna propose while our relationship is still troublesome. We fix our issues and I'll propose when the time is right," He assured you.

"Please tell me it wasn't that expensive," You spoke.

"It... It's perfect for you, that's what matters."

"Eli-" You begun before being cut off.

"No, you deserve nice things. I get that you don't want me to spend a lot of money on you, but I want to. Let me treat you well," He explained.

"Fine, but nothing more," You said.

The bed shifted, alerting you to your daughter's presence. Maeve was the perfect mix of you and Josh, her curly brunette hair and introverted personality was from Josh, while her features made her look like a carbon copy of you. Bleary eyes blinked open, and Josh’s eyes met her’s. “Daddy, breakfast?” She asked, crawling over to him.

“Yeah, baby, just give me a minute,” He responded. It was early, he could tell by the sunlight streaming through the windows and the stillness of the world. He willed himself to get up, fighting every part of his body that told him to go back to sleep. His daughter’s impatience was palpable, she wanted her breakfast sooner rather than later and she would stop at nothing to achieve that. He learned that after he tried to go back to sleep one day. He finally sat up, much to your daughter’s happiness. He snagged Maeve from the bed, carrying her out to the kitchen after tucking you back in.

Once Josh had found out you were expecting again, he did everything in his power to make sure you got the most rest, food, and anything else you could possibly want or need. Often times you found yourself wondering how you ended up with such a perfect man. You had both agreed to keep the fact you were pregnant again away from your daughter, for the time being. As much as you loved her, kids don’t really understand secrets. So, to prevent anything getting out before you told your families, you kept it from Maeve.

As Josh put the bowl of yogurt and berries in front of her, you stepped out into the dining room, rubbing your face from sleep. “Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Your husband greeted you.

“Hi mummy!” The brunette girl cheered. You couldn’t help your smile in seeing them.

“Good morning to both of you,” You returned. Josh gave you a peck on the cheek.

“Do you want some food?” Josh asked.

“Yeah, just whatever you two are having,” You answered. “How’s your morning going?” You asked your daughter.

“Good,” she responded, too focused on her yogurt to care much for anything else. She was nearly three, and every sign you got of her growing up made you tear up. Which, could’ve been an aspect of your pregnancy, but you chose not to believe that. She could get down stairs by herself, and her vocabulary expanded day by day. She was a bookworm, truly after your own heart. Your thoughts were interrupted by Josh returning with two bowls in hand.

He placed them down in front of the chairs beside your daughter, before pulling out one and gesturing you to sit in it. “Such a gentleman,” You complimented him when you sat down. He returned to his seat and you noticed the considerably more amount of food in yours compared to his. You looked up to mention it to him, only to see him quizzing your daughter on a multitude of things.

“What’s the color of the chair?” He asked her.

“Brown,” she responded.

“Good job, how many blueberries are in your bowl?” He asked.

“Five!” She said, happier now that she knows she’s got it right.

You smiled to yourself and returned to your meal. You had noticed being more hungry lately, but you thought it was something only you noticed. Josh kept an eagle eye on you throughout your pregnancy, which at 16 weeks was starting to be really helpful. You brought a spoonful of yogurt to your mouth and noticed in your peripheral, your daughter staring confusedly at your stomach. Josh noticed this too, and followed your daughter’s eyesight to your bump. Oh fuck.

You were wearing low-rise sweatpants and a tank top, leaving your bump out. You had noticed it before, but it wasn't nearly as obvious as it was now. Your mind was reeling, completely unable to think of how to go about this. You and Josh hadn't talked about when or how to tell her.

"Uh, so Maeve, uhm," You stumbled over your words.

"You're getting a sibling!" Josh supplied. Maeve only looked more confused and now upset.

"There's a baby in mummy's tummy and that baby is your new little sibling," You told her in the gentlest voice possible. You tended to stay away from baby talk, but to avoid upsetting her, you chose to use it.

"Is... Is it a boy or a girl?" She stumbled through the sentence, getting used to the idea of a little sibling. It was a bit upsetting to her.

"We don't know yet, what do you think the baby is?" You asked her.

She made a face, deep in thought. It reminded you of Josh's face when he was so focused playing guitar. "A boy," she declared.

All three of you smiled. Your daughter would come around to it and everything would even out, or at least, that’s what you told yourself. Deep down, you worried about having another kid and how Mae would like or dislike it. "Think of it like having a new friend," the guitarist told her. This didn't seem to make her any more content with the idea of a little sibling.

"What if we go to the park?" You asked her to distract her and were met with a smiling nod.

You pulled one of your husband's shirts over your head and walked out to the living room, where he and Maeve were putting on their shoes. Your feet stopped in front of the mirror, your bump looked more like you were just bloated with the shirt on.

“Let’s go!” Maeve decided, pulling on Josh’s arm and calling to you.

“So bossy…” You giggled.

“Wonder who she got that from,” her father spoke. You smacked his arm playfully. “Ow! What a bad influence your Mum’s being,” He said to your daughter.

“Don’t ever hit anyone, do as I say, not as I do.” You sternly spoke to her. She was all giggles, not taking anything you were doing seriously. You three set off for the park after the bickering.

The park wasn’t too busy, as it was still early in the day. A few older kids ran around, their parents nearby watching. “Where do you wanna go first?” Josh asked her.

She thought intently for a minute, before answering, as she always would, “Swings.”

You watched as he pushed her on the swings for only a few minutes, as she decided to go play on something else.

“She’s so independent.” Josh said, walking over to you. You can tell it was upsetting to him, he missed his little girl.

“All the parenting books I’ve read say this is normal for her age,” You responded.

“You and those parenting books…” He begun.

“They’re very helpful, I’ll have you know!”

“I know, I know. I just… I don’t think anything compares to having her and holding her. That experience is a lot more impactful than a book.”

“And that’s why I plan everything and you keep her entertained,” You reminded him.

He just smiled, “As long as I’m with you two- you three, I’m fine with doing whatever.” He looked down toward your bump, “I'm worried about Mae. What if she never comes around to the new baby?"

"Josh, give her time. We've got a while until the baby is here. She's just confused by it all, trust me." You told him. Your daughter came back to you awhile later, wanting some juice but needing a nap. She chose to have her dad carry her back home, her arms around his shoulders and face in his neck. By the time you all got home, she was nearly asleep.

"There you go sweetheart," Josh softly said as he tucked her in for her nap, with a kiss to her forehead.

"Does the baby nap?" Maeve asked, looking towards you.

"Uh, no, but when the baby comes out, he will," You responded to the best of your abilities. You try hard to not make her any more upset by the baby than she already was.

"When's that?" She questioned.

"A while." You said. She hummed, content with your answer.

“I can’t get over how happy I am," Josh spoke as you left her room. He sounded blown away by the concept of how much joy he had. “Thank you,” He turned to you with a smile.

You just giggled, “You’re welcome… You know the kids are a gift to me too right?” You giggled, which made him smile. “Come on, we’ve got things to do,” You reminded him, which made Josh groan.

Waking up alone would've made you feel confused, if it hadn't been that you were awoken by giggles coming from the kitchen. Your feet hit the plush carpet of Bobby's bedroom gently, you crept out slowly, inching your way towards the kitchen as quietly as possible to not disturb their moment.

Bobby was waving the spoon full of medicine in the air, clearly trying to airplane it to her. But, Enya who was sat on the counter infront of her father, stayed with her mouth shut, shaking her head everytime it got close. "C'mon, baby, it'll make you feel better," her dad tried to plead with her. She shook her head.

"Ennie, do you want some food before you take your medicine?" You asked, leaning against the doorway into the kitchen. Bobby turned, unaware that you had already woken up. His eyes tracked you up and down. If there was some superhuman in this world, he was sure it was you, with your ever present beauty. "Quit staring," You told the bassist with an annoyed tone.

Your daughter shook her head, the sickness had clearly taken over her, gotten rid of her appetite, whimsy, and joy for this moment that would've typically been riveting for her. "Baby, you have to eat," Rob started, "And we have to give you medicine or else you won't feel any better."

"...Can I have some strawberries?" Enya eventually asked after staring down at her feet for long enough.

"Of course, you can have anything you want," the bassist said with a kiss to her burning forehead. He lifted her off the counter and towards a seat in the living room. Despite how much he tried to battle it, he was quite the stereotypical seperated dad. He had a very austere living space, a couch he got from his Grandmother's basement and a chair from a thrift shop, with blankets he got from god knows where laying all around to make it cozier.

You walked out a few moments later, plate with cut up strawberries in hand. "Can you stay?" Enya asked, reaching out to grab the food you offered.

"It's your dad's weekend, pumpkin, are you sure?" You questioned. You didn't want to take time away from them.

"It would better to have the three of us together, no?" Bobby butted in.

You gave him a look that read confusion. It wasn't a negative look at all, but a confused one still.

"Yeah! Mummy, can you stay? Please?" Enya asked again.

You looked over at the bassist, who nodded, encouraging you to agree. "Okay, I will," you told her, running your hand over her back as she ate.

As the day continued, Bobby's weird actions only persisted. After Enya took her medicine, he brought you coffee, made just how you like it. When Enya took a nap cuddling with you on the couch, you caught him staring at you multiple times. Not your daughter, but you. He even called you "baby" at dinner! Now, tucking in your daughter, he kept an arm over your shoulders as you two said goodnight to her and sat with her until she fell asleep.

"Isn't she so perfect?" Her dad admired her, stroking a finger over her cheek. The bottom half of her face was identical to his, she had your eyes, ears, and hair type, but the color of her father's.

"Yeah, she's our perfect little girl..." You responded before standing up, "I think I'm gonna head out now." You headed out into the hallway, unaware of Bobby at your feet. You heard the door click closed behind you, making you turn around.

"Why?" Bobby asked urgently.

"I've been wearing these clothes since last night, I wanna go home, change, and sleep."

"I have clothes you can change into here, please."

"Why do you not want me to leave so badly?" You giggled through the question.

It made him stop and think through what he was doing. He thought through his reasons- I want you to be there when Enya wakes up. I want you. I love you. I want us to be the parents Enya wishes she has. You make me feel less crazy. You make me feel like I can do anything. I need you. His mind was moving a thousand miles a minute so, he gave up on thinking things through and spoke the first words to come, "I love you."

Your shoulders dropped and your face melted to one a pity, and immediately it brewed regret in Rob's stomach. "Nevermind, forget it, leave," Bobby harshly said, opening the door to his room as you grabbed onto his arm.

You reached up to his face with your other hand, turning him towards you. It felt like you were moving in slo-mo. Every move was so intentional yet so messy and impulsive. You went up on your tippy toes to place your lips on his and it felt like you turned on an old re-run. You did, in fact, love him and have loved him all along. Rob refused to let you go, his arms as tight around you as possible. The gentleness of the kiss was thrown out the window, as he chased to make up for the lost time. You shifted and your back hit his doorway, it was utterly sloppy as your teeth clacked against the others' and your lips moved in tandem. Your hand slid up onto his chest, gently pushing him back to break the kiss.

The brunette stared at you with a heaving chest. "I love you too, but, we really need to take this slow," You said once you caught your breath.

"Yeah... Yeah that's a good idea," Bobby responded.

It felt weird and paradoxical, to be back together again. Somehow, it felt like uncharted territory despite being so familiar to both of you. Bobby was absolutely buzzing, his life was so complete. He had you, Enya, and the band, there was nothing more in life he could want. And speaking of Enya... "I don't think we should tell Ennie anytime soon, just incase... this doesn't work out," You spoke, "I don't wanna break her heart."

Rob nodded, "Yeah, yeah, that makes sense to me."

So, you had your path set, and with that, you lazily grabbed his hand, guiding him over to the bed and sinking down into it with him. Your limbs shifted around until he was spooning you, holding you comfortably in a locked position. The love in not only the room, but the flat, was palpable. Deep down, you knew that the Keatings were going to be okay.

"Honey, i'm home!” Eli said in a sing-songy voice. While he was preoccupied taking off his jacket, a pillow fell by his feet, clearly thrown by someone in a grumpy mood.

“Sweetheart?” He called, walking toward the couch where you lay. He looked over the back of it to be met with a pale face. “Oh, baby, you’re sick.” He cooed, putting the back of his hand to your forehead to check you for a fever.

You pushed his hand away, “Thanks Captain Obvious,” you scoffed, “I feel like I’m about to die.”

“Do you want me to get you some medicine? Tea? Write your will?” He peppered you with questions as he ran his fingers through your hair. “Do you want me to brush your hair? Give you a bath?” You hated how well he knew you, and his never-ending ability to make you smile.

“I don’t know,” you groaned, “I want to rot and melt into this couch. That’s what I want.”

“Doesn’t sound very healthy,” the guitarist scolded you, “C’mon, get up, I’ll give you a bath.” He slid his hands under your back and knees, carrying you bridal style into your bathroom.

“Eli!” You shouted, not trusting him very much to pick you up. Your feet hit the tile floor surprisingly gently, considering his clumsiness. At one point in time, he tripped carrying you into the bedroom, leaving you with a bruised tailbone and pain that radiated for weeks on end.

“Did you already take medicine or should I get you some?” He asked as he turned on the water.

“I took some,” You responded, stripping yourself. You stepped by him to feel the water temperature, turning it up even more.

“What is wrong with you? Why do you have to have your water a degree away from Satan’s pool temperature?” Eli questioned you.

“God, I’m sick and you won’t even give me a break!” You joked back. You both fell into a fit of giggles following it.

Once the tub was filled, you submerged yourself. The temperature was as you liked, despite your boyfriend’s judgement. You felt your tense muscles relax and the body aches slowly but surely dwindle away. Unfortunately, your throat still hurt and your head was still pounding. The door clicked open, making you look over. Eli entered, despite you not even knowing he left, holding a cup of tea. “Here, I put some honey in it to help your throat.” He handed you the cup. Bringing it up to your lips and feeling it glide down your throat felt like heaven, it was the first thing all day to help your pain.

“Thank you,” You looked at him with a sense of deep gratitude, that you hoped would show on your face. No matter how many times you two poked fun at each other, you still needed one another. He met your eyes with a deeply loving mien, something that could make even the most austere nun pine for love. Deep in your bones, you were sure he was always going to be there, by your side for everything and anything. His ability to make you feel okay on even the worst of days was a superpower beyond any belief of yours.

“Do you want anything else right now? Do you want me to wash your hair? Read you something? Bring you anything?” He asked.

You took another sip of your tea, trying to get your throat to feel better so you could speak, “Wash my hair, please.”

He took the cup from you, placing it on sink counter to make sure no bath water got into it. Then, he grabbed the shower head, bringing it down and pointing it away from you in the bath, before turning it on. He waited for it to get summer-in-hell hot. You leaned up against your knees watching his every move like a lapdog waiting for a treat. He brought the shower head over to you, but in his own clumsiness, gave you a face full of water.

‘Are you trying to waterboard me?” You scolded him.

He was laughing hysterically, still holding the shower head, but this time, pointing it at your scalp and not your smile. “I’m so sorry,” He giggled.

“Elijah Bob…” You begun. He was still laughing as he ran his fingers through your hair while wetting it. He turned the water off before standing up again to put it back. When he crouched back down, you heard the click of the shampoo bottle opening. You would’ve been able to smell the floral aroma, had you not been so stuffed up.

Eventually, you felt his gentle fingers meet your scalp. He scrubbed the shampoo into your hair’s roots, and brought his hands down over your ends to spread the soap out evenly. You leaned harder into your knees, feeling like you were melting away. Your pain felt fleeting as the gentle touches softened your tense body further.

In a blink of an eye, your hair was washed and the bath was being drained. You stood freezing in the bathroom, in a robe holding your cup of tea. The humidity from the warmth of your bath and the pretty much useless fan in your bathroom kept the tea warm, making it feel like a second gift when you lifted it to your lips.

“Do you want a shirt of mine or do you want to stay in the robe?” Eli asked you, leaning against the bathroom door.

“Shirt, please.”

He turned off to find one before returning with his beach body shirt. “Eli, I love you, put that thing away,” You spoke in a sarcastically stern tone.

“What’s wrong with my shirt?” He feigned offense.

“That thing is on its last legs, it’s time to let it go,” You joked as he brought you a different shirt. “Thank you,” you told him as he brought it to you and took your tea from you. You leaned in to kiss his cheek and watched him smile dumbly afterwards, like he just got a compliment from God herself.

Letting the shirt slide over your head and body, his scent encapsulated you. It felt like you were transported to a world were only you and him existed, and you were fine if you did. He was all you needed.

“Can I bring you to bed?” He asked, sliding his arm around your back, prepared to pick you up.

“Baby, it’s like ten steps, I can walk, I’m not-“ You were cut off as he picked you up again, setting off towards your bed. He sat down with you, forcing you to lay down practically on top of him and cuddle with him. Your legs were tangled together and your head was on his chest.

“‘M not letting you lift a finger until you feel better, just say the words and I’ll get it,” He whispered to you, tightening his arms around you so you couldn’t leave.

“Will you pull the blankets over us?” You asked him gently, too tired to give him any more snark about anything. You felt the comfort of the duvet over you, the warmth radiating from both sides made you feel like you were in some oven that was simultaneously a cloud. “Did you grab my tea?” You asked him.

He looked down at you with a look that said he completely forgot and was not about to go grab it. “It’s so late, and we’re so cozy, aren’t we?” He asked as you started to giggle at his stupidity.

“Think very deeply about what you’ve been saying, and go grab it,” You swatted his arm and rolled off him. You heard a deep sigh come from the singer, and the bed shift as he stood up. The tea was delivered back to you, and Elijah slid back into bed, wrapping an arm around you as you took a swig from your tea. He leaned your body into his and let his head fall onto your shoulder, exhausted by the day. “Was that so hard?” You poked fun at him.

“Yes,” he spoke, “I crossed treacherous lands for that tea.” His dramatics made you giggle. “All land is treacherous when you’re not with me,” He whispered, toying with the duvet. You leaned over to put your tea down before returning to bury yourself in his arms.

“Maybe I should go with you everywhere then,” you whispered back.

“I would like that,” He said.

Bobby stood akimbo as he watched you push your daughter on the swingset. She was getting so big, he realized, now that she was four. Tour really did take up too much of his time. "Daddy, look at how high I go!" Enya yelled down to him. Bobby smiled, "Yeah sweetheart, be careful!"

Being a dad was so complex. Your daughter wasn't planned at all, but you were both content in having her. Then, the cracks started showing. When only a few weeks after you gave birth, Bobby had to go on tour, it made you realize a life with this man was impossible. You two split. The bassist occupied himself with tour and increasingly rare visits with your daughter. But, after the latest tour, you sat him down and told him to get his act together. From then on out, he would have her every other weekend and a weekly playdate with the three of you. Even if majority of them ended in arguments between you and the bassist.

Once Enya had gotten tired out, Bobby carried her back to the car, her arms over his shoulders and legs around his waist.

"Bye sweetheart, have a fun time at your dad's!" You told your daughter.

"Love you mummy!" She called out as you walked away. You blew her a kiss as her dad loaded her into the car.

You had all already gotten dinner, so Bobby was able to just put her to bed when they got home. These new playdates were definitely helping her, she was so much more joyful recently. It made Bobby so happy. He hadn't realized how much of his happiness was tied to his daughter's until recently. He looked down at his sleeping child, her brunette hair matched Bobby's. It was fanned out over the pillow and he couldn't stop the feeling of pride filling him. "I love you," he whispered, kissing her forehead before slipping away to his own room.

You woke up around 1am to the sound of buzzing- your phone was ringing. You reached over to see your ex calling. "Hello?" you groggily picked up.

"Something's wrong with Enya," Bobby rushed out, "She woke up and she's hot and, and, she's like crying and she keeps asking for you, she's got a fever of 39," Bobby was rambling. He was clearly freaking out and his freak out was not helping anything.

"Hold on, i'm coming over with medicine, just, run her a lukewarm bath and I'll be over soon," You had been fully awaken by Bobby's panic.

In as quick as possible, you were over at Bobby's with a bag of children's medicine from your cabinet. "I ran her a bath as you said, she's in it right now," He told you as soon as you stepped into his flat.

"Thank you," You said. It was rare to hear that from your lips towards him. A smile broadened across his face despite the circumstances.

"Hey sweetheart, mummy brought you some stuff that's gonna make you feel better, but it doesn't taste too well, can you take it for me?" You spoke softly to your daughter. She sat up a bit in the tub and looked at the cup of medicine you were holding.

"Yeah," she croaked with a nod, letting you bring it to her lips and have her drink it down. Her delicate features scrunched to a face of pure disgust, making you smile.

"I know, baby, it's gross, but you'll feel

better soon." You told her.

Enya just grumbled, completely upset at how sick she was and then she had to drink some gross medicine, and worst of all, she was completely exhausted. Bobby noticed it first, her pouted lip and furrowed brows. There was a meltdown coming, unless you two did something to stop it.

"Why don't we get you into bed Ennie?" He asked her.

She continued her pout. Getting into bed meant being away from her parents and that was the last thing she wanted right now.

"Here, let's get you out the bath first, then we can figure out what to do," He spoke in his most gentle tone. As you went to grab her a towel, the bassist drained the water.

"You can get her some pyjamas, I'll dry her off," You told him once you came back with the towel. She hooked her leg over the tub wall, her foot meeting the bath mat, then did the same with her other leg. You were there to carefully dry her off. Unfortunately, this only seemed to make her more upset as she laid her head on your shoulder. Her pout had only gotten bigger, and by the time Bobby came back to dress her, her bottom lip was wobbling.

By the time he noticed this, he had already pulled Enya's nightgown onto her. He crouched down, "Hey, pumpkin, what's going on, talk to me," he talked softly to her. You put your hand on her back, rubbing gently. To see both of her parents faces so full of concern, and being completely unable to voice how she was feeling, she broke down.

Bobby immediately wrapped her in his arms, as did you. It was an awkward fit, leaving Bobby's knuckles against your stomach and your arms touching. It was weird to feel butterflies again from a man's touch, especially from Rob. But that wasn't an important thought to dwell on, your mind needed to be on your daughter. "I wanna go to bed..." she mumbled, "But I want both Mummy and Daddy," she went back to bawling.

"Do you want to sleep with both of us?" You asked, trying to get clarity of Enya's mind. She nodded repeatedly into your shirt, soaking it with her tears.

Bobby had no qualms with this, more than happy to fulfill his daughter's request. "Okay, let's go to bed baby," the brunette dad said, standing back up and picking up your daughter.

It had been ages since you had been in his bed. Just slipping underneath the covers had brought back memories. Before Enya was even a thought, you used to lay in his bed listening to him strum up a bass line for whatever song the band was working on at that point in time, the deep plucks lulling you to sleep. But that was ages ago, at a time both of you were still in love.

You had planned on only staying till you fell asleep, but Rob's arm had found its way under your head. The little brunette girl was asleep inbetween you two, clutching onto both of you like you owed her money. There was something to familiar and innate about the situation. Maybe there was some love still left inbetween you and him, no matter how much you denied it. You felt your eyes get heavier and heavier.

Bobby was completely enamored by your beauty and grace, how you took care of the situation seemingly without a second thought or stress in the world. How you still look so beautiful despite it being the middle of the night and the fact you were exhausted. His heart swelled as he kept his eyes on the image infront of him, his daughter and her angel of a mother.

"I love you," was the last thing you heard from Bobby's lips before you fell asleep. You were sure it was directed towards Enya, but you didn't know that his eyes were on you.

a/n: okay this is so self indulgent bc i love these au's (funny how i dont want kids but love them in fics...) anyways sorry this took so long! love u guys

For the first time in forever, Dublin was sunny. You had taken the opportunity and clipped the leash on your dog, Poppy, preparing for a long stroll around town, to the park, and about any place as long as the sun was out. The sun brought out good moods and graces as you watched couples stroll along. But in seeing this, a jealous pang struck you in the heart. People seemed so happy and content all around you, but your loneliness only grew. How many years were set up of just you, Poppy, and your work?

However many bad thoughts permeated your mind, you tried to stay happy. Poppy sure was delighted, so be like her. Walking along the paths in the park, the shade brought you a much needed break from the bright rays of the sun. You were sure you had gotten a sunburn. As you were lost in your thoughts, Poppy’s barking broke you out of it, as she chased toward a tattooed brunette man. He was, just as you were, soaking up the sun. The only difference is he was wearing headphones, likely listening to music or some audiobook. “Poppy!” You called out after her, trying to tug her away from the stranger.

“Oh, hi puppy,” the man cooed after seeing your dog run towards him. He had reached up and taken off his headphones, before crouching down and petting her. Poppy enjoyed all the attention she got, unfortunately she was quite the diva. “Is this your dog?” He asked.

“Ah, nah, I just walk her and feed her and take care of her, whatnot,” You replied sarcastically. You felt awkward as he didn’t respond. Your joke did not at all land how you wanted it to.

Ryan, on the other hand, was too preoccupied with the cute dog to even hear your response. A cute girl with a cute dog that ran up to him during a sunny day? Was this heaven? “She’s really cute… It’s a girl right? What’s her name?” He peppered you with questions. The dog was small, a mix of a variety of breeds likely, tan with fluffy fur. It reminded him a lot of his own dog, only that his dog was white.

“Yeah, she’s a girl,” You giggled, “Her name’s Poppy.” The tan dog was started to get all too comfortable, laying down on the dirt to have the man stroke her belly. “Well, it was nice to meet you, we should get a move on,” You proposed as you tugged gently on Poppy’s leash to get her to sit up.

“Ah, well if you insist,” the brunette said, gesturing you off, “Great to meet you too, I really hope to see you around.” He immediately mentally cursed himself as you got Poppy up and attempted to walk off. How could he let you walk off? Strangely enough, Poppy refused to move. He could see your frustration, by now the sun was setting and pretty much everyone was wrapping up their time outside. You still wanted to walk the entire path and had to walk back home and Poppy was stuck on her butt, trying to get this man’s attention. “I could walk with you two, if you wouldn’t mind,” He offered to solve Poppy's attention issue.

And that’s how you ended up taking a stroll at sunset with a stranger and your dog. You learned his name was Ryan, and he was a drummer. "Well, there's a lot that goes into it," He says when you ask about the band, "It takes a lot of work. I have to stretch before I play... Does that make me sound old?"

"Definitely."

He sighed, "Most days on tour I feel a sneeze away from death."

You giggled and moved your arm to rub his back in a joking way. He took the moment in a different way, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You decided to keep your arm around him and he did the same. The feeling of his skin on yours was lighting fireworks underneath your skin. Poppy seemed to be very happy by this development, skipping along ahead of you guys and soaking up every last bit of sun.

Ryan found himself, instead of looking at the foliage, looking at you. He wondered how a mind as beautiful as yours could be behind a face as life changing as yours. He felt a flower inside of him blossoming, a light shining in his soul as you two talked. For once, he felt uncomfortable being anyone but himself.

"So, with tour, that's gotta be lonely right?" You asked.

"Yeah, but not at the same time. I mean, I'm lucky enough to be friends with my bandmates, so I always have them. And the crowd, sometimes they feel more like your family than your family does. I think music just connects people in a way nothing else does," He spoke.

You nodded. "When you find something you love, it feels like breathing to do it, to live in it as you do," You replied.

"Definitely," He spoke, "Can I bring you home?" Your eyebrows shot up. "No- I-, I am so awkward. I am so sorry, I didn't mean to word it like that," Ryan very anxiously corrected himself, "I meant like, can I walk you home?"

"Ohhh!" You giggled, "Of course, I'd prefer it if you did. And for the record, your awkwardness is adorable." You meant it. His awkward charm had you tripping over your words, cheeks blushing, and making you totally head over heels for him.

By the time your walk through the park was over, Poppy was completely exhausted and the sun had fallen. She had begun to walk right by you two, on Ryan's side of course. You felt content, like you could stay here with the brunette's arm around your shoulders forever. You'd be fine giving up the sun if it meant staying with him forever.

As your flat approached, dread bubbled up inside you. You didn't want him to leave. Ryan felt the same. He didnt want this moment to go to waste, to watch you slip out from under his arm into the dark of your flat and never see you again. "Do you think I can get your number?" He found himself asking.

"Of course!" You responded cheerfully. Poppy laid down at the feet of Ryan as you two exchanged contact information infront of your flat's building. He squeezed your shoulder softly before taking his arm off you. The feeling lingered, up your neck and down your arm. It made you so fucking giddy. This guy was dangerous with how he made you feel.

"Alright, well, I'll see you," He said pointing at you with a very determined face. He wasn't gonna let a girl as beautiful and amazing as you slip away. "And..." He crouched down to Poppy, "I'll see you too!" He ran his hand over her side. She was very happy about her successful plan to get this

previously strange man to give her attention. Only he gave you attention too, it was an all around win. He gave you an awkward smiling before turning around and heading towards his own place. Poppy was too tired to try and run off after him, which you were thankful for.

As Ryan walked off, he noticed how dark it really was. He supposed your light kept the world around you bright and warm, and in being beside you, he was encompassed by your light.

Your body was vibrating, mind racing and your smile was as wide as the Amazon river. You felt changed and somehow just the same as yesterday. "Alright Poppy, we should get to bed," You told her, opening up the building's door and bumbling upstairs with your dog.

The darkness permeated each inch of the world like molasses. Dublin seemed as dark as hell as Bobby walked upstairs toward your flat, bags in hand. After what felt like ages, he was finally home, back to suprise you for a bit before going back off to tour.

You gripped the knife with both of your hands, pointing it towards the door. You watched the knob shift, fear bubbling up inside you. Then, the door opened, and instead of some scary masked murder, it was the beautiful face of your boyfriend. Your shoulders dropped, fear gone but you still unfortunately remained slightly shooken up by his tomfoolery.

"Oh my god," Bobby giggled while dropping his bags off on the floor, "Were you going to murder me?" Despite the situation, his smile was wide, all teeth bared. You always loved that about him, his ability to find the silver lining.

"I thought you were going to murder me," You clarified, setting the knife down and wrapping your arms around him. "I'm so glad you're back. I missed you so much baby," you murmured into his shirt.

"I missed you too," Bobby spoke as he toyed with the hem of your oversized shirt, "Who's shirt is this?"

"Oh, my friend's, he outgrew it so he gave it to me."

You watched the bassist's mien shift, from being giddy to insecure. "Bobby, don't get upset, it's a friend's shirt, it's not serious," you stated, with a tone that came off more pissed off than anything. His hands left your body, reporting back to by his side. A million other things came to his mind, thoughts of doubts in your relationship that he had been keeping to himself to keep you both afloat.

"Just... you don't come to our shows anymore-"

"I'm busy," you interrupted, "And for your information, I make good effort to come to your gigs, and I haven't gotten that decency from you in ages. But I deal with it because I know that you are busy with your 'work' in the band. I don't get why you can go off and delay your life with your buddies but I have to be there for you every single moment," You spoke. The brunette abruptly turned, grabbing his bags and opening the door, walking out before slamming it shut, shaking your flat. Guess that explains how he felt about it. You went back to bed.

The flat was somehow more empty than it was when your boyfriend was on tour. Was he still your boyfriend? Your head was spinning. You should've gotten up and ready for your shift, but you couldn't think about anything besides the bassist who, at one point, shared the bed with you. Some all too responsible voice in your head pointed out your hypocrisy, that you spent all your time at work when he was with you, now he's not and you don't want to get out of bed. That thought made you sit up.

You fought yourself to get your uniform on, grabbing your keys and heading out the door. For some reason, walking towards the office building made you feel like being a ghost. Like your soul wasn't here at all but your body remained. You can't believe all this started over some boy who you don't even think twice about. Maybe Bobby was right, maybe that was a bit too much. What if he was interested in you? I mean you said you had a boyfriend, but Bobby was a ghost most of the time. But so were you.

You went and sat down in your office chair, going through the motions of work without your head even in it. It mimicked your relationship, just staying together to keep the status quo. You only looked forward to getting home, to lie in your bed and cry. The day seemed to drone on, each hour longer and longer until it hit 5pm.

"Oh my god!" You jumped as soon as you walked into your flat. The brunette boy held his hands up, proving his innocence. There was a bag laid in front of him, you presumed he was grabbing things to bring back to his family's home. "You really have to let me know when you're coming home, please," You told him. It felt like a mockery, to have a moment so similar to yesterday's tragic event.

"Sorry... I'm just grabbing a few things and then i'll be out of your way," he said. His tone was completely detached and if his puffy blue eyes told you anything, it's clear it had just as heavy of an effect on him as it did you.

"Please don't leave, let's talk," You pleaded while walking over to grab his arm. "I'm really sorry for snapping at you last night. And for basically calling you dramatic when you were upset at me wearing that guy's shirt. You were trying to set a boundary and I completely ignored it and disrespected you," You stated. Bobby didn't turn to look at you, he kept packing. You reached out and touched him arm gently, then he suddenly turned, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his head into your neck. "I'm right here, baby, I love you. I'm not gonna leave," you whispered, rubbing his back gently.

He remained silent with his face in your neck and a death grip of your waist. When he finally spoke, his voice was shaky, "I love you too, so much."

Your heart swelled, you had him back. And hopefully, this time it'll be forever.

"Do you wanna get married?"

Josh's words made you stop in your tracks. Your relationship was always simple, streamlined. You two took it slow, there was a mutual understanding that you guys had all the time in the world. A silent confirmation that he was "the one". Confusion crept in with insecurity, why wasn't this enough?

"What do you mean?" You asked, walking over and sitting down next to him.

"What do you mean 'what do you mean'," He shifted, with a concerned look on his face, "I'm asking you your thoughts on marriage." Josh's mind was now turning, what if you didn't think of your relationship as that serious? What if you didn't want marriage at all? What if you didn't think he was the one?

"No, I know that," You said, "But why are you asking about it right now?"

"I don't know, I mean, we're getting older," Josh took both of your hands in his, "I love you, and I suppose, I want to take that next step, make this more serious." Your face was one of skepticism. "I mean, my mom's been talking a lot about it also," He said.

You gave a look, "So do you want to get married or does your mom want you to get married?"

Josh paused, "the latter."

Both of you erupted with laughter. You felt an arm around your shoulders, and then fingers on your jaw, pulling you into him. Your lips met his so softly, a reminder that what matters to both of you is what's in your arms. "I'm sorry for letting my family get in my head," he whispers against your lips, "I just... I love you a lot and I don't want you to think that I don't if I don't propose for a while."

"Baby, don't worry about that," You spoke with pity in your eyes, "You know... i've got an idea. Do you want a wedding?"

You stood in your closet digging through the clothes laying around, boxes of things from past years, until you found it. That white, unassuming box. Opening it, you were greeted with your grandmother's wedding dress, along with a photo of her. She looked so beautiful, so happy. Would that be what you looked like today?

A knock broke you out of your mind, "You almost ready?" Josh called.

"Yeah, just uh, let me get this on and I'll be out in a minute."

Josh was pacing. He really, honestly, had no clue why he was so nervous. You loved eachother. But still, he was nearly about to set the carpet on fire with his pacing. That was until he heard the door click open. Perhaps the most gorgeous sight to ever grace anyone was in front of him. You looked like something out of an old film. You looked like the rest of his life. "You ready?" You asked him.

The walk to the courthouse was surprisingly long. Well, factoring in a couple detours was probably what made it long. You had to get flowers and picked up a polaroid camera to capture the day.

The courthouse felt empty, in the best way. It was Josh and you, forever. The sound of pens scribbling was filling the room, and suddenly, just as quickly as the ceremony had started, it was over. Your lips meet and that was that. Josh's arms around you and his lips on yours start feeling like all there is in this world.

"To explain why I love you is hard, because loving you is so easy. It feels like common sense, like breathing. Which, makes me unsure if I could function without you. So, i'm doing what will bring me the most possible happiness. May we go through rough patches, and spend time worlds apart, and still reunite, recover. I'll never give up on you," Josh read from his notes app. You sat on the steps of your apartment, arms and knees touching. In your streamlined, organized relationship, you realized you two never took time for sentimentality as he read his vows. The happiness of hearing those words from his lips bubbled up inside of you, growing and growing until you felt like your heart would be puked out onto your lap when you opened up your mouth. You unfolded your paper and leaned on his shoulder to read it.

"I was, for so long, anti-marriage, at least for me. I begun to realize, though you, that marriage can be anything you make it to be. For some reason, our souls are so intertwined. I don't think of our love as something to preform, but as a state of being. Like how the sky is blue, I love you. The grass is green, you are all I need. Even when you are away, our love remains constant. So, i'll never stop being proud of you, wanting and needing you, I promise," As you finished, you noticed Josh wiping away a tear that dripped onto his cheek. It felt like your souls had become one, in spite of everything you've thought. And the fact that you two are now husband in wife purely in spite of his family.

"Alright, enough with the sentimental stuff, let's get upstairs so I can take this dress off you," Josh replied, standing and pulling you up. You just rolled your eyes, letting him sweep you off your feet just like he did when you two first met.