𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔷

He was tall, with broad shoulders and an easiness to him that surprised you. You rarely saw the Scouts outside when they trailed back through the streets, looking defeated with their wounded barely hanging on and to see them so carefree was interesting. Another blonde joined the first one, clapping him over the shoulder and as the first one turned, you caught a glimpse of a familiar nose and a pair of eyebrows you couldn’t have mistaken.

Huh. So it seemed that Erwin Smith was still alive and damn had he only gotten more attractive. You recalled your school days, your silly awkward crush on him had evolved until you’d been unable to bear it any longer, confessing to him in a rush that confused the both of you. You still remembered the way he’d looked at you, with that soft kindness that was intertwining with pity as Erwin had run a hand through his hair. He’d apologised because of course he had and you’d remembered the sinking feeling of rejection, as Erwin had all but sputtered out he was intent on joining the Scouts and he didn’t know how long he’d remain alive once he was able to leave the Walls.

Why? You’d asked him that then, you’d ask him that now. Why had he pursued death so brazenly, to this day?

He, or his nosy companion, must have caught sight of your staring, as you were brought out of the memories of your childhood by the clearing of a throat close enough to you that you jumped. Eyes flicking up, you found a familiar pair of blue eyes studying you, his mouth quirking upwards as you met his gaze.

“L/n, it’s been a while. You look good- ah, um- not that you didn’t always but y’know, you’ve grown up now I guess?” He sounds unsure and you both ignore the way the sandy-haired companion laughs as he slinks back to join the Scouts now looking curiously towards the two of you. Erwin eyed the seat across from you expectantly and you pulled your lip between your teeth as you nodded, unable to stop the smile that itches onto your face.

“Thank you, uh, same to you! You’ve gotten so tall, I only recognised you because of your brows.” Erwin grimaced, folding into the seat in front of you, long limbs looking out of place against what now looked like a child’s seat. His broad shoulders hunched in a little as he leaned to rest on his elbows, looking up at you with those same, gentle eyes.

“We’re actually celebrating me becoming commander today, it wasn’t exactly the best of circumstances but Miche wouldn’t let me not celebrate. I think Levi is lurking here somewhere, just beware of a demonic-looking dark-haired midget and Hange is the loud one at the table- the dark-haired one looking straight at us.” You make brief eye contact with the Scout, a slightly maniacal looking individual who doesn’t shy away when you all but catch them staring. They smiled faintly, large eyes taking in you and Erwin before you turned back to him, noting the way his eyes were lingering on you before he seemed to catch himself.

“Congratulations then Erwin. I guess you’re still a little suicidal then?” Erwin slow-blinked before his mouth quirked up again with mirth.

“I guess so. You’re still living in this district or have you moved on? You’re not dressed like you’re in the Garrison or the MPs?” You laughed at that, ignoring the tightness that took hold in your chest. He thought you’d be one of them, one of those who chose the safer option, who served the useless royalty and upper class who hid behind the walls and the towns of less fortunate, policing the regular people and enabling the rich to stay that way.

You shook your head, a little more fiercely than you had intended and Erwin’s glorious brows bunched as he sat back a little, properly looking down at you and you wondered if the way he tilted his head was deliberate.

“I’ve moved on from our old district, I’m usually within Wall Rose but I have friends in Maria so I am often moving between the two. And although I considered the Scouts the most out of the three, I don’t think I’d be brave enough to risk my life like you all do. I’d prefer to do nothing but live for humanity than pretend to do something.” Erwin considered you, his features softening in a way that reminded you of when you were both younger, before he’d grown into his features entirely.

“You know, the Scouts could use brains like you. Hange over there is probably dying for another assistant- and don’t think I don’t remember how smart you are. You would be vital to the Scouts, even if you didn’t want to leave the walls. I’m the commander now, I’m sure I could make an exception for you.” You narrowed your eyes at him, choosing to take a sip of your drink rather than respond before you’d considered his words properly.

“I’ll get back to you on that, commander.” You let your voice drop a little on the title, noting the way his pupils blew and you were reminded of your crush on him at that moment.

“As much as I’m glad you’re safe here, there’s also a part of me that wants to know that you’re safe always. And you being one of us would be the ideal solution-” You snorted softly, flicking your eyes up to meet his again.

“You say that, but think of how I feel and how I would feel. I didn’t even know if you were goddamn dead until today, how would I feel watching you leave and not knowing if you’d come back? If you’d suffer when you died? If you lay injured for hours on the back of a cart, rendered unable to walk or worse, unable to even move? If you even want me to consider taking you up on your offer, you have to consider what you’re willing to put me through.” Erwin seemed to mull your words over for a moment, his face drawing in thought and you wondered if he understood what you were trying to admit to him without spelling it out.

“What will it take to convince you then, hmm?” There’s a glint in his eyes that spells trouble and he’s rapidly closing the distance between the two of you, his face very close to yours and you can smell the sharpness of his cologne as he leans in slowly. Your eyes dropped to his lips before you could stop yourself, lingering on the wetness left there from his beverage.

A wolf whistle from the table across from you both seems to snap Erwin out of his game and you don’t miss the cheeky smile he shoots towards the dirty blonde, who rolls his eyes at the two of you.

“Get a room!” Hange calls and you feel your gut twist at that, taking in Erwin’s reaction to the implicating words. He doesn’t outwardly react but the hand that finds your knee beneath the table squeezes once and the smile he sends you as you widen your eyes at him is warm and teasing.

“Shall we?” Erwin’s voice is warm honey and you stand slowly, hoping your knees won’t give in at the look he aims at you as you do. The dirty blonde whistles again and you ignore the table of Scouts as they all turn to watch the two of you leave, Erwin’s palm blazing hot as it finds a home on the small of your back.