Heyyy I'm Crow!
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@paintedcrows-caws
Heyyy I'm Crow!
they/them | 18+ | too sleepy to live
welcome to my reblogging/personal account! For just art, check out my art account!
Art Account: @paintedcrows

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The initial submission count is done. I will begin trimming down our 590 eligible men on Thursday (tomorrow I have a late doctor's appointment after work, so I won't be able to get to it sooner).
To tide you over until then, here are our official top ten candidates (per submissions numbers):
1. Shane Hollander (Heated Rivalry) - 26 submissions
2. Robert Robertson III (Dispatch) - 17 submissions
3. Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls) - 16 submissions
4. Wei Wuxian (Mo Dao Zu Shi) - 12 submissions
5. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce (M*A*S*H) - 11 submissions
6. Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune) - 10 submissions
7. Vincent "Vox" Whittman (Hazbin Hotel) - 10 submissions
8. Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) - 9 submissions
9. Bruce Wayne/Batman (DC) - 9 submissions
10. Arthur Lester (Malevolent) - 8 submissions
HAPPY TBOB-VERSSARY
feel free to ignore this :3
Mabel saying ‘you would make such a good mother’ to Ford like she does to Grenda in canon would be pretty funny
He knows she's trying to help 🥲
NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT ROUND 5 POLL 2
TUMBLR! Who's getting pregnant?
Megatron (Transformers)
Stanford 'Ford' Pines (Gravity Falls)
PROPAGANDA:
[Megatron]
"Just. Just look at this guy. He's already so big and so mad. He's going to be even more big and even more mad if someone knocks him up and he's going to make it everyone's problem, and he's capable of making himself a big problem for a lot of people. It's the middle of the 5 million year war and the Decepticons are more afraid of 20 tons of cranky warlord with morning sickness than of the enemy. The Autobots don't know what to do. The humans are getting a whole new education. It's a nightmare for everyone. Or it's peacetime and the peace progress and his post-war moral soul-searching just got a whole lot more complicated. Either way, no matter who did it - his deviously treacherous second in command, his loyal and possibly psychic third in command, his life-long Autobot nemesis/ex-boyfriend, his meteor-surfing co-captain, Tarn - there's going to be big drama.
Alternatively, it's Transformers One and he is a precious cinnamon roll who got his heart broken by everyone he trusted and now we can make it worse and make him even sadder!
Alternatively alternatively it's Bayverse and he might already have been knocked up before, we don't know where those hatchlings came from.
Basically what I'm saying is that there are infinite flavors of Pregatron and all of them are peak drama because that's how he rolls. Also you get to call him Pregatron which is always a win."
"He's got birthing hips and a desire to fuel the decepticon cause."
[Grunkle Ford]
"He has that pathetic nerd swag why wouldn't I want him pregnant. I know multiple people who would want to bang that senior citizen."
"okay so this is the most breedable motherfucker in gravity falls. sorry but its true. eldritch chaos god triangle wants him so bad he ended the world about it, genius engineer wanted him so bad it made his wife divorce him, aliens want him, everyone in the town keeps calling him a silver fox and hot, etc. his autistic swag, presumable complete sexual inexperience in his 60s, and whimsy are a recipe for all to feel extreme lust when gazing upon his visage.
reasons that he is so mpreg-able aside, it is actually somewhat plausible that he is currently, as we speak, mpregnant. the new gravity falls book, the book of bill, had a website that was released to promote the book and also relay a bunch of new fun information and arg things. this new book, in universe, is written with the intent to be read by ford, and for the website, it is showcasing ford's laboratory. so one could view all of the material with the perspective of it being directed at ford.
one of these messages on the website is an image of an ultrasound of a baby-- a triangular baby. on it, there is the message "congrats, guess what's growing inside you right now! see you in nine months, papa!"
so…. ford might be mpregnant with his ex, bill ciphers baby. yayyyy."
"He's just so submissive and breedable. he should get a sci fi abortion. he would not enjoy fatherhood."

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NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT ROUND 5 POLL 2
TUMBLR! Who's getting pregnant?
Megatron (Transformers)
Stanford 'Ford' Pines (Gravity Falls)
PROPAGANDA:
[Megatron]
"Just. Just look at this guy. He's already so big and so mad. He's going to be even more big and even more mad if someone knocks him up and he's going to make it everyone's problem, and he's capable of making himself a big problem for a lot of people. It's the middle of the 5 million year war and the Decepticons are more afraid of 20 tons of cranky warlord with morning sickness than of the enemy. The Autobots don't know what to do. The humans are getting a whole new education. It's a nightmare for everyone. Or it's peacetime and the peace progress and his post-war moral soul-searching just got a whole lot more complicated. Either way, no matter who did it - his deviously treacherous second in command, his loyal and possibly psychic third in command, his life-long Autobot nemesis/ex-boyfriend, his meteor-surfing co-captain, Tarn - there's going to be big drama.
Alternatively, it's Transformers One and he is a precious cinnamon roll who got his heart broken by everyone he trusted and now we can make it worse and make him even sadder!
Alternatively alternatively it's Bayverse and he might already have been knocked up before, we don't know where those hatchlings came from.
Basically what I'm saying is that there are infinite flavors of Pregatron and all of them are peak drama because that's how he rolls. Also you get to call him Pregatron which is always a win."
"He's got birthing hips and a desire to fuel the decepticon cause."
[Grunkle Ford]
"He has that pathetic nerd swag why wouldn't I want him pregnant. I know multiple people who would want to bang that senior citizen."
"okay so this is the most breedable motherfucker in gravity falls. sorry but its true. eldritch chaos god triangle wants him so bad he ended the world about it, genius engineer wanted him so bad it made his wife divorce him, aliens want him, everyone in the town keeps calling him a silver fox and hot, etc. his autistic swag, presumable complete sexual inexperience in his 60s, and whimsy are a recipe for all to feel extreme lust when gazing upon his visage.
reasons that he is so mpreg-able aside, it is actually somewhat plausible that he is currently, as we speak, mpregnant. the new gravity falls book, the book of bill, had a website that was released to promote the book and also relay a bunch of new fun information and arg things. this new book, in universe, is written with the intent to be read by ford, and for the website, it is showcasing ford's laboratory. so one could view all of the material with the perspective of it being directed at ford.
one of these messages on the website is an image of an ultrasound of a baby-- a triangular baby. on it, there is the message "congrats, guess what's growing inside you right now! see you in nine months, papa!"
so…. ford might be mpregnant with his ex, bill ciphers baby. yayyyy."
"He's just so submissive and breedable. he should get a sci fi abortion. he would not enjoy fatherhood."
ATTENTION LOYAL DECEPTICONS: WE ARE FALLING BEHIND.
PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:
THAT IS ALL.
ATTENTION FORD FANS, PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:
FORD ALSO HAS TITS AND A TRAMP STAMP!
AND A NECK TATOO!!
He let a pig alien with a mohawk and tentacle arms tattoo that on his neck at age 40. He just can’t stop letting aliens do things to his body, even when he should know better. Like pregnancy.
so i'm gonna propagandize from a new angle, as someone deathly afraid of actual real life pregnancy. tw for metaphorical sa and abortion
stanford pines is a fantastic vehicle for pregnancy as body horror.
his entire story involves him making a series of extremely questionable decisions in the name of curiosity and scientific acheivement. this pathology partially emerged from lifelong insecurity, specifically over his polydactyly.
as a result of this mutation he could not control, stanford constantly oscillates between two contradictory extremes: obsessive exertions of control over his body (strict diet and exercise to try and avoid being a wimpy nerd on top of a "freak"), and a stunning disregard for his bodily wellbeing and autonomy (staying up inhumanly late working, running into danger for the chance to study dangerous creatures, the regrettable tattoos, and most damning of all, allowing an interdimensional demon the indefinite right to possess him at will).
yes, the deal was under the false pretenses that bill would continue ford's work while he slept, and that said work would bring prosperity to the world and ford's career, instead of reigning in the apocalypse. but you can't deny the eagerness with which ford agrees. bill didn't stipulate the "from now until the end of time" part (marriage vows much?) ford just Said That Shit. he sounded near-breathless saying it too. what in the utter fuck dude.
because most people would be kinda hesitant in ceding their own body like that, right? in becoming a Vessel for another being, in allowing their body to become not entirely their own. there's a pretty ripe pregnancy metaphor there, frequently expressed in horror media via possession, alien parasites, etc.
but ford, perhaps in part due to his lack of respect for his own body and its perceived limitations, is super excited to transcend his humanity with the help of a trusted higher power he regards as a close companion. it's like a special little secret, an affair.
he's sooooo "innocent maiden showing up to school/work lovesick and giggly after a late night rendevouz with her Secret Boyfriend"-coded
of course, when bill's betrayal is revealed, that trust dissolves into paranoia, heartbreak and violation. ford can't back out of the deal, is now being periodically possessed against his will and scrambles for years to escape it, eventually succeeding with a surgical metal plate around his brain.
gee, i wonder why this narrative resonates so much in a time when people are rightfully anxious over diminished ability to end unwanted pregnancies.
there are so many contradicting possibilities for how ford might react to an actual pregnancy, because of what a contradictory, traumatized character he is! personally, i think he'd be horrified given his past experience with sharing a body, but you could go the opposite direction as well by taking into account his scientific curiousity and prior willingness, dependent on who/what is impregnating him and when in his life.
so cast aside discussions of what character should get pregnant, would be a good parent, etc. frankly, i don't care about actually exploring parenthood. fuck them kids. instead, let's consider the relevant themes (autonomy, submission/trust, body as vessel) and potential catharsis via tragedy, comedy and horror. ford is practically made in a lab for this. get him pregnant NOW
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
A brief strategic absence (which had absolutely nothing to do with karaoke night) ends with Bill finding Ford obsessed over a horror movie instead of building their portal. His plan to get Ford back on track does NOT backfire even a little bit.
@tempusedax-rerum's contribution to the
Billford Egg Hunt 2025!
Be sure to check out all three fics as they're posted! Happy Easter!
Siblings, raise your hand if this is a relatable experience.
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
happy holidays. 👍
Instead of theraprism bill day i shouldve decreed it was Ford Gets Held Down Day and we all sjouldve drawn that man slutting it up in various restrictive positions
Alright everyone, Saturday the 5th, pencil it in
happy holidays to all who celebrate!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I recreated the Lightners Live sprites from the trailer for your jamming pleasure
fucking gotem lmao
PUTTING THE "ROT" IN "EROTIC"
prints

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
teehee
silly little warmup