9 year old me: mom you’re beautiful!
My Mom: no, I’m ugly. The ugliest. I’m a horrible pig of a person
Other people: (to me) you look just like your mom
Me: so I’m ugly
Now:
My 9 year old: mom you’re beautiful
Me: thank you! I don’t always see it very well in myself though because my brain lies to me a lot and tells me I’m ugly even though I’m not. But I can’t be ugly because we look a lot alike and you’re beautiful. My brain is just a bully
My kid: that’s right! We’re BOTH beautiful!
Me: yes we are!
_____
And that my friends is called thinking about how your self depricating words can hurt other people around you. I can’t see that I’m beautiful most of the time but I can acknowledge that the issue is my ability to see myself in a positive way.
But calling myself ugly just hurts the people who love me. It could even convince my kid that they are also ugly and further the cycle
And sometimes it’s really hard just by saying “I’m being mean to myself because my brain lies a lot matters
My daughter: “mama, your belly is chubby.”
Me, internally: ouch
Me, out loud: “well, yeah! Because I am chubby! But also because I grew TWO WHOLE BABIES in it, and that stretched it out a bit!”
My daughter, in the most encouraging tone possible as she reaches up and pets my belly: “it did SUCH a good job.”
And y'know what? Hell yeah it did. #rockon
