padme

“Oh, oh okay.” he said with a chuckle as he stood a little stiffly. Padme’s arms wrapped around him in a hug. This only lasted for a second longer before he relaxed into it; returning it in kind; it was probablly a strange sight for anyone. When Tessa walked in carrying a few supplies with some of the new batch of kids on his work program. She ushered them out quickly. 

“I mean  the cake is a pretty good start.” he teased pulling away from her. 

Few people could get a smile out of Wolverine nowadays. With the exception of the kids at the orphanage, and some close friends. Looking down at a fully recovered Padme; Wolverine gave her one of those rare smiles saved only for a special few. 

“You don’t have to thank me you know. I’m just glad I was able too.” he said a little flushed now as he scratched the back of his head. He wanted to ask about Luna but wasnt sure how to bring that up. So instead, clearing his throat he pat her arm, awkward but gentle. 

“How are you feeling? Did you’re people make it out okay?”  

She was well aware that he wasn’t a hugger--or rather, based on every interaction she’d had with him up to that point, she’d put together the pieces. Frankly, she didn’t care. Not at the moment. When she shock wore off, when she remembered that this was every day life in this game--death and almost death and the rare moments of heroics that reminded you not everyone had lost their mind when they turned to code--she’d go back to respecting personal space. Mostly. For now, it was hard to let him go. 

Finally, she pulled herself together and stepped back, coming off her toes so she was again much shorter than he. “Yeah, we’re all good,” she said, nodding and setting the cake down on the nearest table. “Luna made a full recovery.” She glanced a look back at Wolverine. She didn’t know what had happened between the two--if anything--but she knew that Luna had been the first person she’d wanted to see after she’d woken up in the hospital, the one she was most worried about. “They all did. Hades too.” At this, she smiled even brighter. 

He was quiet for a while before he nodded his head. 

“You’re right I did, and you know why I had to. I needed to be alone.” He swallowed the lump in his throat before hesitating slightly, only to finally rest his hand against the warm skin of her face, cupping her cheek fully so that she may look at him. “I hated to hurt you. I hated to have to put you both through that… But I couldn’t bear… I couldn’t live with myself if I kept hurting you the way I did if I had stayed.” They’ve talked about this, he didn’t want to have to bring it up again. 

“And every time I looked at you. Every time I would see and Rowan… I would think to myself, they’re why I’m doing this… I want to be better for them. I want to learn how to love for them… and for myself.” He took in a deep breath before moving even till he was but a breath apart. 

“And yes… One day, love may not be enough. I stand by that.” He licked his lips, eyes darting down to her own. “But what I hold for you… It’s so much more than just love. It’s respect, and trust and-and a feeling I can’t even begin to describe.” He wanted so desperately for her to believe him. 

“You’re more than just love, Jude. You’re my happiness…” It was her. It was always her and Rowan. “And I will fight for you this time.” And with that, he closed the distance between them and kissed her.

“I know,” she said. She wasn’t trying to drudge up the past, didn’t need to have him explain again what they’d been through so many times. In fact, that was the point, wasn’t it? His reasons made sense, and if they hadn’t changed, they couldn’t do this. But this time, she didn’t try to pull away, didn’t flinch, didn’t run from his touch. Not if he wasn’t going to be the one to run first, not if maybe--finally--this time, he knew what he wanted. 

It was a very nice speech, and she was sure that he meant it, but it was difficult to be logical, to think through every word, when he was so very close. She had promised herself that if this ever happened, she wouldn’t just run back into his arms. How many times was she supposed to take him back when he decided the time was right? But all her built up anger and defenses were crumbling when he looked at her like that, his eyes dark and serious, his thumb on her cheek, so close she could track the freckles on his nose like constellations. 

“Hmmm,” she mumbled. “And what exactly is this fighting going to look--” But she didn’t finish the sentence, not when suddenly his lips were upon hers, and as much as she’d wanted to believe that she was moving on, that she could see a future without him, that she was healing, it felt as if every empty spot inside of her was blossoming back to life. 

She could sense a groan wanting to come out, tightening the back of her throat behind her smile. This woman made things so hard. It wasn’t a bad thing. Padme was such a sweet, genuine person that Solstice felt an automatic inclination to keep safe and happy. But it was a struggle to maintain a healthy level of suspicion for her, especially when Sol had been really damn good at keeping up a streak of distance and distrust between her and most new people, especially those who were close to those she loved. It could have been worse, of course. Solstice might have had real reason to dislike Padme and be struggling a lot more with that. At least she could smile and bring her presents and feel it wasn’t an act.

“I am,” Sol assured Padme, her smile grateful and genuine but nonetheless a little forced. It’d been a tough week. “You’re right. It’s been a lot. I mean - the battling is nothing, I’m used to it by now. But you know the feeling of being grateful to have someone around with you but also guilty they’re stuck in the game too? Still not used to it.” The smile begun to fade. “I’m also still trying to understand everything’s Leo’s been through too… I’m still trying to wrap my head around the idea that Sawyer’s really gone.” She paused, gaze faltering. “I’d known that girl since she was still playing with dolls… I don’t want to believe it. I don’t want to imagine the kind of pain Leo’s been through, and is still going through. She was his life as long as I can remember…”

“But he’s had people with him this whole time. I’m grateful to you and your boyfriend. His- his ex. boyfriend.” Right? God, she wasn’t so sure if she got that right. Sol hadn’t wanted to pry or ask for names or details. Plus, it had been already a lot to meet Padme. “If he’s anything like you, then Leo wasn’t alone in any direction and he was well taken care of. I’m never going to be able to express how much that means to me.” She mustered up a smile again as she looked at her. “Which is also why I wanna be here… y’know, cast away all the madness of before.” She let out a breathy chuckle. “Make sure you know I’ll be around for all the girl talk and all the embarrassing stories later.” There was a brief grin.

“— I also don’t mind if you ever want to ask me about me and Leo. I mean, it’s been more than three years, much before Velia, and it’s- it’s really not awkward. I promise. We’re way past it all but I can tell whatever happened is still fresh for the three of you. I don’t know if there’s still a chance… I just hope whatever happens is for the best. I hope it makes you all happy in the end. That’s the best thing we can all hope for, right?”

She nodded seriously. She certainly knew the feeling. The closer she got to everyone around her, the more horrible the whole thing seemed to be. There were days she thought she could live out the rest of her life in Velia, thought that she’d been doing well enough for three years, what was a few more? But then she’d look at Rowan or Radish--or Leo--and she knew she couldn’t do it, couldn’t see them waste the rest of their lives fighting dinosaurs and giant gold fish and Allah knew what else. Every day in this game was a risk, and as grateful as she was to have them all by her side, she’d rather they all be home safe. 

At the mention of Sawyer, Padme looked away, back down at her bed where she carefully tugged at a loose thread upon the blankets. No matter how much time passed, no matter how much they told Leo--and themselves--that Cricket would want them to go on, want Leo to go on, that time would make things better, it was a very cruel world that moved onward without that little girl a part of it. “Yeah,” she confirmed, finally looking up again, the slightest of smiles tugging at her lips. “His exboyfriend. My current boyfriend. We were kind of.” With stiff and clumsy hands, she tried to hold up three fingers and made a rough sort of triangle, which she quickly broke. Those days were over. The more she accepted that, the more she looked to the future and stopped dwelling on that past, the better off everyone would be. 

Send a 🙌 and I’ll introduce you to an NPC related to my Muse

Send a 🙌 and I’ll introduce you to an NPC related to my Muse

Send a 🙌 and I’ll introduce you to an NPC related to my Muse

“After I let go?” 

Had he really, truly ever let go? He had thought he had. But then, he would dream about them at night, and wake up reaching for her in the morning… He would watch them with an aching heart, and his eyes would linger for too long. When Rowan told him about the Five, he couldn’t help but be terrified. When Jude had danced with him at the party, he wanted nothing more than to hold on and never let go. 

And he supposed he never did. 

“I never did.” He repeated out loud, tone soft as he kept his gaze on the flyers now scattered on his kitchen table. He swallowed thickly before he turned to hold Jude’s gaze. “I never could find it in myself. I didn’t want to. After you and Rowan let go, I tried to do the same… but I couldn’t.” 

He pressed his lips together before taking a tentative step forward. 

“I didn’t want to let go of that feeling I got whenever I looked at you. I didn’t want to forget about what it felt like to hold you, to be with you, to make you laugh.” He shrugged his shoulders before moving some of the papers around idly. “If only to keep those feelings to myself… to not forget… I wanted to keep loving you, even if it was from afar, even if it hurt to miss you.” 

Another pause. 

“And then it hurt too much at some point… And I had to make a choice. I had to choose to either let you go completely and to walk away…” The thought alone hurt him.  

He put his mug down before reaching out to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, already inconceivably enamored by her. “…Or to love you.” He took another step closer, cupping her face gently. 

“And my love, I never stopped.”

Jude’s fingers tightened around the edge of the table until her knuckles turned white. She wanted to yell at him to stop, not to say things he couldn’t take back, to get her hopes up again just so she would crash even harder when he changed his mind. She had finally forgiven him for leaving, finally wrapped her head around what he really wanted, finally decided he was right--that he had needed to take care of himself and maybe he couldn’t do that with her and Rowan by his side. But she’d never let go.

She gave a small laugh of disagreement, still not looking up, not meeting his eyes.  “We didn’t let go, Leo; you cut the rope.” A few months ago, that sentence might have been said in anger or sadness; now, it was just the truth. They had had to let go because there was nothing left to hold onto. But she had never stopped loving Leo, and though she and Rowan had stopped talking about it, she knew him well enough to know that he hadn’t either. But if they didn’t pretend otherwise, if they didn’t push down their feelings, they were going to lose a friend and split a guild. So they had sucked it up, taken one for the team. But they’d never forgotten. 

She waited for his last customer to walk away--her attempts to be grateful would sort of be a moot point if she scared away his customers--but once the coast was clear, she moved to the front of the shop and set a large triple chocolate cake onto the countertop. “This doesn’t begin to express how thankful I am to you, but it’s a start,” she began. Before he had time to answer, she rushed forward and hugged him tightly. 

He decided he liked hearing that. That she was proud of him. He wanted to make them proud. It made him happy. He was… he was happy. He turned to her and smiled before swallowing the overwhelming sense of right that got stuck in his throat. “Here’s hoping. And if there’s a body I need to hide, I know who to call.” He raised a brow at her before resting a hand on the small of her back before moving to the now whistling kettle. 

He hummed idly at her question, pouring the hot water into the mugs he had picked out. “It’s been going well enough. I still have a few bandages that need a couple more days, but other than that, I’m all better. How have you been healing?” 

He dropped two teabags into each mug before turning fully to Jude with a raised brow and an incredulous laugh. “Is that what she told you? That I let her go?” He wasn’t mad. Clara and him were more than over in that regard. Their story had come to a close and he was okay with just being her best friend. He walked the steaming mugs over to Jude and rested them on the kitchen table. 

“Quite the opposite, if I’m being honest.” He smiled in good nature before he shook his head. “But I suppose to some extent… I did let her go. I didn’t go after her, didn’t try to hold on. But I think we both knew we just… weren’t meant for each other.” He caught Jude’s gaze for a few moments before dropping it. 

“She left and I just watched her leave… I did that with every other person I’ve been with. Everyone except for… well except for you and Rowan.” He took a sip of his tea. “Try as I might, a part of me didn’t want to let that go.” 

Padme held up one arm as if to show off her muscle. “Gardners: we’re good with a shovel and bodies make great fertilizer.” She was joking--mostly. But in this game, it wouldn’t matter; there wouldn’t be any bodies. 

She tried to ignore the way her heart raced when his hand touched her, the way his proximity made goosebumps erupt on her arms. She cleared her throat, swinging her legs off the end of the table, and dedicated herself to listening to him, to turning off her brain completely before it could racing ahead of her to places it didn’t belong.

“Let me see you.” She said, snapping her fingers to get him to come closer so she could examine the bandages. She never did trust NPC doctors. “Actually, we didn’t talk about now you at all. More about teenage you.” She shot him a playful grin before returning to her investigation of his bandages. Deciding he was going to be alright, she let go and took the tea instead. 

He again couldn’t help it, the pride and warmth that seemed to swell in his chest. “I like to think archers have their own odd network within the game. He just knows the arrows I’ll give him’d be worth it.” He said with a small smile before shrugging modestly. He took out two mugs from his cupboard before warming the kettle. 

He then turned to see her looking at his posters and this time his smile was more present. He stood beside her and looked over his handiwork as well, arms crossed over his chest as he tried to not have his excitement (and anxiety) overwhelm him. It had been something he had been thinking of doing for a while now, maybe a year ago, actually. It just never came to fruition because he never gave himself the time. 

Now, it was both a good distraction and a good accomplishment. 

“Thanks. It’s been in the works for a while… I felt it would be a good project… And it’d be good for the guilds too. Reliable archers are a sparse commodity now-a-days.” He frowned at the thought. 

“Let’s see if I have the patience to deal with the lot of them.” He finished with a smirk, nudging her lightly. 

She nodded in understanding. Her guild--her family--would always come first, but there was a connection between the mystics and mages, no matter their affiliation. To do what they could, to see the world in that way--well, it was a feeling no one else could really understand. And ever since she’d taken on the training role of the mages in Catalyst, she’d come to truly understand the importance of that union. The archers deserved just as much. And Hades deserved it--that community, that comradery. 

“I think it’s wonderful, Leo. I’m really proud of you. This is going to help so many people. And you’re going to make new friends whether you like it or not,” she added teasingly, nudging him right back. “You will,” she assured him. “You always find the patience. When it’s something you care about...you’ll find it.” 

“Well counting you and my mother and sister, that would have been a whopping three votes,” he chuckled kissing her nose. “ But, thank you all the same It’s nice to have a supportive fiancee.” laughing once more, as he pulled Jude’s warm body closer to him. Truth was, he would have rather had his teeth pulled then run for any kind of office. Rowan thought he was doing a decent job as guild leader but even then he didn’t think he had the skills or talent for politics.

He was far too sincere and would more then likely get chewed up and spit out. Not to mention, walking around in a suit most days sounded like something his brother was fit for. Give Rowan some paint stained t-shirts and a pair of jeans and he was a happy man. “You do huh, what are these hot tips and tricks?  Do you have a cool loft like Aladdin did with a great view? ” he implored. Liking the idea of He and Jude living off their wits. Rowan belived that he could live anywhere and be happy with Jude. With or without money.

Shaking his head, he smiled sadly. “ It was easy. Easier then I thought it would be. I wanted to see the best in her. Wanted to help her find her footing because, I thought I was the one that lead her down the road she went. I indulged her and made excuses.” Rowan played with the ends of Jude’s hair as he thought about a bloody Venus and he shivered. “I can forgive a lot, but if you hurt someone I care about. That’s something I can’t ignore.”

Rowan was a lot of things, and he knew that he was far from perfect. But what S had done, to see how far she had slipped and how much she had changed, truly boggled the mind. Logically, he knew he wasn’t to blame for the person she was now. But at one point he had enabled her behavior; unwittingly sure. Still, he was at fault and it would stay with him for a long time.

Smiling, a genuine smile he chuckled. “You know me too well Gulum.” Jude was right. Rowan wasn’t asking for permission; the appearance of S reaffirned in his mind that he was going to help his friends. He had left them once before, and he couldn’t do it again. The fact that Jude seemed to understand this without him having to explain warmed his heart more then he could say. He didn’t think for a second that she liked the idea but at the very least; she wasn’t trying to stop him. “ You’re not the frist person to say it was too big,” he grinned hugging her gently making sure to avoid any important wires. “ I promise to be careful and I’ll come home whole and safe every night.” He added, kissing her on lips gently. “ Thank you gulum.”

“How many people really live in Turkey?” she asked through a yawn. “That’s like...at least a half a percent. Maybe the other guy will only get two votes.” With the high number of healing potions she was currently taking, Jude was finding it harder and harder to keep her eyes open, though she didn’t want to miss any of what he was saying. Not when it was clearly so important to him. “Fiancee,” she repeated. It sounded good, sounded right, to hear the word in the air. “I haven’t said yes, yet. I’m going to need to see the ring first.” 

She tried again to wink--she wanted the ring, that was true, but she didn’t care how big it was, and she’d have married him without it--but it was hardly better than her last try. “Of course I do,” she said. “All us street rats have a loft. But the guards never chase me. I have a very innocent face.” 

As he finished his story, Jude kept her face buried in his chest, so when she spoke, her voice was muffled in the fabric of his shirt. “I know, Aşkım,” she whispered. He wouldn’t have been him if he hadn’t fought for the other player’s honor, hadn’t expected the best from them. She only wished she could have him from the moments when that hope was let down. She hated to see him dissapointed. “Okay,” she agreed, and this time, there was definitely a tired slur to her voice. “I’ll hold you to that. I’m...just gonna close my eyes for a second, okay?” 

He tried not to smile. Tried very hard. But the mischievous glint in her eyes tugged at his heart and at the corners of his lips. He shook his head before turning to Cerberus, who in turn snuggled closer into Jude’s lap, Tartarus following in suit. Of course his animals preferred Jude to him, it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise. 

“Sure they did.” He drawled before walking back to his kitchen table where more of the flyers he had been making lay scattered across the surface. He smiled slightly and looked over his shoulder, brow raised before he tipped his head almost playfully. 

Almost. 

“You’re welcome, Jude.” 

He moved around his kitchen before beckoning her to come over. “You can stay if you want. I’d appreciate company with better feedback.” He turned to Cerberus and Tartarus with a frown, which they promptly ignored. 

“They did,” she insisted, though the worry of a moment before was completely gone now and she was grinning from ear to ear. “I was minding my own business, and they were mean for absolutely no reason that I definitely did not provoke.” She paused, then added, “That was really cool what you did.” He always had been a good leader, even if he hadn’t always realized it. 

As she struggled to her feet--it was difficult with two animals on top of her--Jude scooped Tartarus up into her arms and continued to lean down and pet Cerberus, even as she followed Hades into the kitchen. Her smile widened as she saw the posters Hades had put together. She wished she had a third hand so she could pull the papers closer. 

He looked up in a startle before raising a brow at the sight of Padme in his cabin. Padme was in his cabin. He blinked once… twice… before finally standing up. “I really… really hate to ask this… But what is going on?” Before she could reply, he heard the vague yelling of men and women running past and around his home. He closed his eyes and let out a breath before moving to just behind her to look over her head and out his window, only to find a group of NPC archers (sprinkled with a few solo players) running around in search of something. He looked down at Padme and frowned. 

Or someone. 

He was about to close his curtains, only to catch the gaze of an archer he was slightly familiar with. His eyes moved from Hades’ to Padme and an excited glint flickered in his smile. Hades’ eyes widened in panic before he raised a finger to his lips, gesturing for the archer to come closer. 

With a raised brow, the archer did as he was told, looking around to make sure no one was following him before heading over to Hades’ cabin. 

“Stay here.” He told Padme sternly before moving to his front door, pulling it open to find the younger player grinning up at him. 

“You have something I want, Hades.” 

“Yeah well, you shouldn’t be running around with NPC looters. I’ll give you some arrows next time, so just lead them away from my property, would ya?” The younger player pouted before nodding his head and turning around, only for Hades to reach out and grab him by the back of his collar. 

“Wait! I forgot!” He moved back into his cabin before grabbing one of his flyers, shoving it into the player’s chest. “You know who to tell. Come or whatever.” He grunted before promptly closing his door without another word, turning to Padme with furrowed brows. 

“Do you enjoy trouble?” 

Laying on his living room floor, Cerbeus practically in her lap, Padme looked up and opened her mouth to reply, but Hades was already moving toward the window. She was in half a mind to reach out and stop him, to tug on his pant leg or pinch him or anything it might take to keep him from intervening and possibly putting himself in danger. But then again, she’d already made him complicit by hiding in his house, hadn’t she? 

Her look of worry quickly turned into one of impressed respect and--though she’d never admit it--attraction. The easy way he took control, solved everything in a matter of seconds, the way the other player just listened to him--well, it was a good look on Hades. She stifled a laugh as she watched him push the flyer into the other’s chest and didn’t stand up until the archers had finally left. 

“ Isn’t that why you love me? I’m a sweet talker, that and my arms are really big.” Rowan grinned cuddling up closer to her. The pair of them, snuggled in each others arms. Whispering about how much they loved one another, in the same hospital no less. Some far away deity must have been smiling upon them; for as much termoil they had gone through ( and would have to go through) Those words of love and adoration never grew tired to hear. Rowan would never get tired of hearing it and he would never grow tired of saying them to Jude. Not in Velia or outside of it.

At her question about his family, he shook his head. “ My past wouldn’t  make me a viable choice for prime minister. Being affiliated with a crime syndicate will do that,” he grinned. “Truth is, I never had a desire to do anything other then art. I’ve fortunate but even without my company  I probably would have ended up a starving artist in the back alleys of London.”  his hand settling to the small of her back.

Of course, being a starving artist  would be preferable than being stuck in this death trap of a game. “ She was a lose cannon, I don’t know if it was the game that finally started to get to her or if she’d always been that way. She was dangerous and we couldn’t aford to take the risk .” It had been one of the hardest decision he had to make, because Rowan knew that he might have been to blame ( he always blamed himself when it came to S) Realistically, logically he knew it wasn’t his fault. Knew he had nothing to do with the slip in reality that the other faced. This knowledge did nothing to sway his guilt.

“ I don’t know,” he said parroting her own words. He really didn’t know, he didn’t know if he would start helping again after all this time. Rowan wanted to, but he had responsibilities. His primary obligation was to Catalyst, however, Rowan knew that deep down. If Mars, Venus or anyone eles from his solo days asked for his aid… he wouldn’t be able to refuse them. “ I want to say no,” he said quietly. “ - i just don’t think I have it in me to turn my back on them a second time it the need arises. Hades doesn’t want me involved at all but… i don’t know what to do.”

“Mostly the big arms,” she teased, wrinkling up her nose as she looked up at him, then curling herself back into his chest and burying her face against his shirt. He smelled good, which shouldn’t have been possible under the circumstances--not after battle, not in a hospital. But then again, he smelled like home, and anything but cold antiseptic was a welcome change. 

“I’d vote for you,” she assured him, though she understood his point. If they thought America was conservative about what scandals their politicians were or weren’t allowed to have, it was nothing to their home country--and either way, a criminal record made it impossible. Still, it was their loss. Rowan was the best leader Jude had ever met. She tried to imagine him in some tiny loft, painting away while the sun rose behind their crummy windows, her rushing off to bus tables at some little cafe. She smiled at the thought. “I could teach you how to be poor,” she said. “I’m very good at it. I know all the tricks and tips.” She wanted to poke his nose, but as she couldn’t quite manage it, she rubbed hers against his instead. 

“Hey.” She stroked his chest with as little momentum as her fingers would currently allow. “That must have been really hard. But you did what you had to. It doesn’t sound like she gave you a choice. It’s not your fault. You were taking care of everyone else.” Like you always do, she thought.