Play that Penis Music White Boy

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

sometimes people will insist a character is butch/masc and then you look at the character and they’re just fat. or muscular. or black. or indigenous. or some combination of the above.

anyone else think it's kinda fucked up that the wise men went to little baby jesus and brought him a frankenstein. really scary

Statement of Y/N, regarding their time in servitude to the entity formerly known as One Direction. Statement begins.

"You can suck penis but you can't pee suckness" sounds like a stupid YouTube poop line but it's actually the opening line of Hamilton

You should be able to say “don’t touch me” to anyone ever in any context and not have it be considered in the realm of surprising or insulting imho if we ever needed to normalize something it’s this

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

not me though. im girl with tanktop

Can you say something about fat people that doesn’t involve the phrase “tummy squish” or any variants thereof. Quickly

I know a couple fat guys and they're good electricians

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

Does anyone else get pissed off when you wake up just as you were making significant progress in some bullshit task you had to do in a dream? Like great now I did all that shit for nothing

*reading tarot* ouch! ten of swords. you mustve gotten stabbed a bunch of times recently

*flips next card over* by the devil

"you don't know what you have until you lose it" works for things that suck too btw. sometimes you need to experience life without something for a while to realise oh damn that was some bullshit