💫t✨

I am not okay. I’ve been fighting for ten years. Half of my life. And honestly even before that. And I am so tired. I’m so tired of fighting to be below average and fighting to be normal and still not. I’m “better” now but I still try and starve myself I still wanna hurt myself I still lose everything I’m still paranoid I still can’t sleep. I’m tired. Every “tiny step” feels like a fucking flight of stairs and I’m so fucking tired. I’m not gonna kill myself. Not right now not for a while. I still have good things going for me. I still have some hope. Obviously I crave it a little but not when I think abt it too long. But I’m just tired of being alive. Like what’s the point of living and staying alive if I’m just constantly suffering. It’s rly fucking hard. And Idk how much longer I can go. I’ve been trying to stay positive and stay calm and comfort myself but it’s just hard. I’ve lost so many people. And I’ve fucked up so many friendships and I’ve just fucked up I’m so many ways. I fucked up my entire left arm, I fucked up as a child and lost ALL of my teenage years. I fucked up in school and imthe 11th grade still when I’m supposed to be a junior in college. Im just so lost. My life took such a dark turn so young and it’s just rly hard.