Anne

they don't want you to know this but being weird and staying silly really helps you feel young forever

mfs will be like “I love the night :)” and then experience unliveable mental anguish the entire time

This time I'll fill my apartment with furniture and books and wine glasses. I'll buy fresh flowers weekly and cook only breakfast and on the weekends. I'll go for walks and wake up and mediate in the am. I'll put on soft music after lunch and nap. I'll buy that ice sphere mold for my iced coffee and marble coasters and a full length mirror. I'll lie on the floor and have the sun shine on me. I'll lie on my stomach and read and annotate books for new friends. This time when my friend comes down to the city, I'll invite her over. I'll cook her a home cooked meal the way she did for me in a city I was struggling to feel at home. This time I will not deny myself of basic necessities and even luxuries because why else do I subscribe to the nine to five rat race but to also benefit from capitalism. In whatever marginal way I can. This time I will buy an oven and go to the cake materials store and buy everything I need to make cakes and brownies and bread. I will allow myself to fail at the first and second and even third attempt. This time I will have a bed and a bedside table. This time I will make nooks and corners. This time I will buy a rug. This time I will decide to stay. This time I will not fear uncertainty. This time I will make a writing space for myself. I will fix my typewriter. I will go for ukulele lessons. I will find a pool and a park and a pizza place. I will step out. This time I will rely on myself while building a support circle to also reach out to. This time I will not cry alone. This time I will not make love with my misery. I will not marinate in my intrusive thoughts. This time I will allow home to hold space for me. For those I love. For those I want to get to know. This time I will make it mine.