so much joy

Tunneling upward out of the darkness where they had lain in wait for 13 years, the latest brood of Disney child stars reportedly emerged from the ground Monday, filling the air with their mindless droning.

Thousands of spunky young actors, part of the child performer population known as Brood D, were spotted bursting out of the soil en masse within the 51-acre Walt Disney Studios campus, where they wriggled through the grass on their bellies in search of a vertical surface to climb up and cling to. Earsplitting screeches were heard as the child stars frantically delivered lines from yet-to-exist scripts about surfers who were secretly werewolves, preteen mayors who could speak to animals, and triplets separated at birth and suddenly reunited at the same hip-hop boarding school.

"Hi guys, welcome back to the channel, I've got a real treat for you today! You might notice the lab looks different, I didn't want to risk putting anyone else in danger with today's experiment and if you've been reading the news this week you'll know that a bunch of big important people on Earth are pretty mad at me right now, so I'm shooting this episode on the moon!

"This is uranium-238, an extremely rarified form of the uranium used in some nuclear reactors. If I get the camera closer, you see that 'snow' appearing in the image? That's caused by individual radioactive ions escaping from the uranium. It's warm to the touch and very pliable. See how easily it's bending? Compare that to how much force I had to use to flatten out that tungsten cube last week, remember how that took both hands?

"Anyway, I know what you're going to ask,"

*voice clip of Snake from metal gear solid saying 'But how does it taste?'*

"Well, we're going to find out! I'm just going to tear off a tiny bit here... Hmm. The taste and texture is similar to lead, but warm and a little fizzy. That would be from those escaping ions hitting the skin cells of my tongue and bouncing off. I'd better spit this out quickly, if one of those bounces back into the uranium it could-

*a loud but muffled explosion sound is heard*

"Okay, so that was what's called a fission reaction! A little nuclear explosion went off in my mouth! That was certainly a new experience, I don't think I want to do that again. It wasn't nearly as much fun as the lava I ate back in the Hawaii video.

sam thinks shes a trans woman who's transitioning in the modern era. super reasonable assumption based on what he knows ("captain america" is a man in all the history textbooks, but stevie actively makes an effort to get gendered right off the clock). he fumbles on pronouns like twice while figuring it out and then becomes Steve's Biggest Ally TM and never finds out he is aiding a cis woman with her gender dysphoria and not a trans woman. cool bro move regardless thanks man she needed that

natasha thinks steve is nonbinary and the gender role switching comes from that, because natasha has an insane relationship with her own body+gender and its connection to work. like her role as the femme fatale means she views being a woman as part of her job obligation/title; she views steve's gender situation as similar. she thinks steve is for real actually a man on the job and for real actually a woman off it and this makes so much sense to her.

tony thinks steve & bucky are gay men and refuses to delve into this because he is very worried steve fucked howard and he does not want the details. he makes a lot of mildly homophobic quips that he views as a status of him being progressively accepting (think the "no son of mine wears a skirt........that doesn't match his top!" jokes people made in the 2010s) which steve either totally misses or just views as sexist jokes that she ignores.

WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS MY FAVORITE TELEVISION SERIES OF ALL TIME (it's not out yet)