Tales of a Tooth Fairy

Hello! I’m currently a licensed dentist practicing in Taguig, Philippines. Wow! I never thought I would end up working here! Life has been ups and downs but mostly ups!!! AHHHHHH too much excitement! K bye

Not yet even officially hired from the job that I applied because I still have to attend the Pre-employment training before being officially employed, I'm thinking of quitting. Yup, sounds inconsistent and disappointing. I know. But I have to do it since I can only work for a month and quit, that would be more damage. I'm still studying Dentistry. I wanted to work so I can save up for my Dent Materials so I wouldn't have to ask from my sister and parents all the time. Sounds like I'm in it for the money? Sort of. But I also admire the job!! Japanese Tutor! Loved interacting with other cultures! Wish I could do both! So sad and overwhelmed.

People rant this in social media about a certain person going out flaunting nice photos even though some people know they're having troubles. NO. THIS IS NOT RIGHT. You can't say this to the world. Each person has a problem. Don't tell me you're not troubled by anything? Come on! You judge people too much that sometimes it turns out your just judging the mirror of your reflection. Reality check: We're not perfect and our lives are definitely not perfect. Unjust even. Stop saying a person can't take a break and try to be happy for something because they're lives are "miserable" already. Stop, think and maybe you're just like them too.

Our CI told me that it would be hard for me to make the dentures, I had to repeat all over again because her face was distorted so they opted to let her rest and told me to change my patient. I said “Of course” since my guilt would really eat me up if she continued to become my patient and would suddenly have stroke again. I couldn’t afford it. And for the short span that nanay and I bonded, I really felt warm around her. Afterwards she went home and Doc Ar told me that it would be best to change patient because she might have stroke on my hands and it might get worse. He told me that it was going to be okay, they were going to help me look for another patient. That day, Doc told me to wait for the agent whom supplies us with patients. I went to the library since I was too overwhelmed to deal with everything, I just wanted some silence in the quiet room which I was alone since it was class time. Then, I cried. I forced myself to let it out. There I was alone in the quiet area, sobbing my eyes out. I did not see it coming. For all the chances that my patient would have stroke, who would have thought it would be me? During our first interview and case history she really sounded healthy to me. Me and my friend who was in the other section, we have the same patient, she also thought we got lucky with our patient since she was healthy and would even help us out. But tragedies happen and we hoped it doesn’t happen to us but it does and what happens next is what matters most, not what happened. When I remembered my friend whose going to change px also, I stopped crying, studied for the exam the next day and went back to the room. The agent told me that she was going to get another patient for me next week. My friend came to the classroom and asked me if it was true about the stroke and changing patients. And I told her that it was and it was going to be okay and that we were going to do it next week. Everything we’ve been doing the past 2 months, we were going to do it again in 2 weeks. Huh. Never thought of it that way. My friends were really sad for me and I felt touched by them. They said that why could it have been me of all people? For all the students, why can’t it be the arrogant smartass student? That’s what they kinda told me except they actually mentioned a name. They shared their sympathy for me but I told my friend “Don’t be sad for me, dli man ako nastroke. Ako mang patient. Sya man ang luoy.” And that was that. I realized that anything could really happen. I didn’t want to control and expect so much of my life afterwards but it didn’t stop me from catching up with my classmates. I was gonna start from scratch. Luckily, I had a new patient but my other friend didn’t because it there was somebody else assigned to my patient for their class. She reassured me that it was okay, since I did not wanna waste time because I had classes during that afternoon. And a week after that, I would only get one day. I sit in after my other subject and thank God the CIs allowed me! And I did not even fail to attend my other class so I finished it quick and get back to CD. The information about our patient spread to the faculty room. So Doc B, thank you so much for allowing me to get out of class early. I could see a lot of sympathies and help from everyone which helped me to get back up and try really hard. The Prostho CIs are all kind hearted! I admire them so much. When Christmas vacation came, I didn’t catch up yet. But when classes began with the new year, I think I was optimistic. I think January has its way of making it a month full of possibilities and after weeks of a compliant patient with a kind heart, we catched up to our classmates. When Feb came I was becoming late in our meetings and realized that 2 weeks later so I speed it up. And there I was, about to cook my dentures. My friends would ask me how I did it, I would simply tell them that the CIs really helped me out a lot. But my dentures was still not perfect although I am proud to have tried so hard for to be. And THE SATISFACTION of seeing my patient smile is absolutely breathtaking. Yes, when I saw him smile, I lit up. My patient had better teeth than I had! Haha! He was really glad I made it earlier. He said that his past dentures didn’t fit anymore. I was glad he liked it. I was so happy I think that’s why I fell in love with Dentistry. All the stress felt nothing compared to that smile! In all honesty, it really did. Resto: It was just filling the preps. Just filling the preps. Or so I thought. Again, I was behind schedule and this time I didn’t saw my midterm grade. I was trying so hard in Resto but it looked like I was slacking off. I tried but maybe it wasn’t my best. The lectures were really easy to understand. But when exams came, it was very difficult to comprehend. It was a challenging subject. All the other subjects brought a lot of drama too such as Anesthesiology. It was my first time to inject someone in the mouth. It was dramatic. I was so sad when my partner told me that she failed it. I had a good grade. It was really making me feel guilty even though she said it was okay. Oral Pathology and Orthodontics were fun for me. I had a lot of failures last sem. Specially in my lab finals and lec final exams. But, I passed second sem! Barely! Holy shit! I could tell you so much more stressful stories last sem but I want to end it here. Thanks for taking your time reading this long post! Next up, clinician years: J1, J2, S1, S2. Holy shit. Plus reevaluation before becoming one. I know I’ll fail resto a lot. So help me God.

Sorry, long post coming! This school year 2016-2017, Dent 2 Proper, is indeed one heck of a school year I did not see coming. Although, to be fair my higher year friends told me that it was gonna be the toughest year, I was still not convinced. I still hoped that they exaggerated it for us, just to prepare us from what's ahead. And honestly, I always had this kind of "beginner's luck" ish way back in pre dentistry and dent 1 wherein a subject is a friend to me. But boy was I wrong big time! It was the "transition" year and it was damn hard! Blood. I had a lot of wounds this school year. Sometimes I cut myself because of the carvers/cutter. Lot of times, I burnt my skin because we had to use a hot boiling water and a torch. Blood was definitely shed that school year. 1st sem was a heck of a ride at first. I guess the trouble for me the 1st sem was adjusting and of course: money. I know money is a sensitive topic but I wanna share here my dentistry life in all honesty so I just wanna say that I'm not saying that this applies to everyone in my batch, just me and this is my brutal honesty on how I really survived the Dent 4 life (NOPE NOT DENTISTRY YET). Money is a big part of Dentistry. Each dentistry student knows that. And I know my CIs are just simply following the system so when I refer to them, I meant: the system. So here it goes. When I summed up the total of the instruments I was going to buy, I was very shocked! It reached 20k! Shookt! And that was just the 1st month! I know my parents are not rich and I already know that my tuition is already a burden. So I cried. Yes I cried with that calculator in my hand. It was too big and I was very scared because I know this sem will reach 30k or more. And the next sem will be the same which is like 60k whole year exclusive of the dorm and tuition! Imagine that. So I called my mom, told her about this and she reassured me, told me that it was going to be okay. They will find money but it may take time. I was a bit behind the deadline when I bought my requirements. I don't like the fact that some subjects have deadlines on the requirements that are not yet needed. I know it's for assurance that we will have materials earlier rather than rushing and ending up with no stocks left but it's really inconsiderate (but it turned out it was just one subject that told us we would get demerits for it). When that happens, I borrow from the other section to surpass the checking then just return the materials afterwards (sorry doc!). I remember tweeting: So what to show to my CIs tom? I think just my poor soul. But thank God for friends who helped me during the checking of requirements. I did asked my parents about it again and again and I know I was too much already but I did't know it that time because "deadline" on the requirements were really important to me at that time. Stupid Jyms that thinks money grows on trees. So with that spent on materials (which are also investments since we can use it until we die please, I hope so!), the pressure was on. It was my first time to be in a Restorative Dentistry class (the one where you have pasta ba), it is and still is the hardest subject for me. We still use the amalgam filling (silver pasta) so we have to make the conventional way of doing a cavity prep on our typhodonts which is good because we can train our dexterity. But boy it wasn't easy at all. I was way behind schedule. It was very hard for me to practice my dexterity at first because honestly, I was never so gentle. I even slap people sometimes specially when I laugh (which I really tried to stop doing bc it was immature). Fact is, I am not gentle so when I did the prep, the preps rather, I was faced with a lot of "repeat"s from my CIs. In all honesty to God, I did so many repeats that I had to sit in during the other section's class just to catch up on our midterm assignments so that I could get my midterm grade! But towards finals (which was kinda quick) I really was speeding up, my preps were becoming better? I'm not sure or the CIs are becoming more kind? Not sure but I knew I was doing something right and then I was done with Resto 1 with no extensions in the laboratory. But the lab was not the only problem in Resto, the lecture exams were the worst. It kills me all the time! Our exams are what the higher year tell us are like the board exams. Multiple choice. Before, I didn't believe that all the choices could be the answers, I just directly answer on my answer sheet. Hay bugo braggy jyms. But when Resto lec exams came, it was true! They were all good answers! It was so hard! The answers were all ish right and I had to pick the most true/except/false. Damn was it hard! So when we got our midterm grades, most of us failed, including me! I got 3.1! But when our CI gave me that, I was smiling afterwards because I really almost passed! Hahah! That's just half of 1st sem. Here are what added to the stress during the 1st sem: Fixed Prosthetic Dentures: I failed the lab final exam, I was so sad at that time because I always always pass FPD lab works and when finals came I tried my best, but I failed. Of all the time I could fail, it was on the finals lab exam! When I saw my grade, I was shocked! I never received that kind of grade before in my lab works and I really tried so hard. So I went in the bathroom to breathe and when my friend asked me "are you okay?", I told her I failed the lab exam and after I said it, a tear came down from my face. It was the 1st time I cried because of my grades in college. I really didn't expect to cry. I was so shocked I wiped it immediately, looked myself in the mirror and I was still crying so I went to the stall before letting it all go down and made the sob face that looks like I tasted all the bitterness in life. Haha! Yup! I wouldn't let my friend see that face lol so I wiped it all and reassured my friend that I was okay. And I did looked okay in the mirror. So I went back to the room and asked my other friend who was Korean and smart if she ever cried because of grades and she told me what I needed to hear: Sometimes when I study, I just know that I can't make it and I just cry. Amazingly, I really felt better after she said that! Thank you so much Jihye! You see after high school, I promised myself not to cry because of grades because grades didn't defy me and such. But when I think about it, why would I make such promise? Grades matter! So what if you cry jyms? At least you let it out and not bottle it up. You're stressed and that's okay. Roent/Radiology: This subject is the reason why my friends fought each other. Bc of the freaking use of 1 Xray room. We were all using it even the higher year were! It was hassle! Also, when final grades came, we were all shocked! My final grade turned 6/7 points down from my midterm grade. But I know my lab grades were not that good since my films were kind of underdeveloped/overdeveloped and the slide exam was hard because I didn't study well. But Roent was fun because of developing of the films, I felt like I was a photographer, I captured a photo through the xray and developed it afterwards (which is kinda like so). Pharma: It was the adjusting part that I had trouble with. All the words were gibberish! Name of the drugs, and there functions and so many more! Pharma taught me to be amazed at those Pharmacists. Sorry for the ones I mistakenly called "ate" in the drug stores! At first it was really hard to memorize the spelling but along the way, I really got it, I really had a good final grade! I think I like drugs hihi. For the other subjects (Oral Physiology, General Pathology), I was okay. I survived the 1st semester! But I had a low grade now. I was a bit surprised at first but I guess it's life showing me that it ain't always easy. Everyday in the Dentistry world is the hardest, sometimes I hoped the next day wouldn't be as bad as today but then it just makes way to beating that day. So I get confused on really what was the hardest day for me last school year (omg "LAST SY", so done with Dent 2)!

‪Me: Mafeel mn nako kung kahagbongon ko, pero bahala pag mahagbong ko kapila, bahalag mubalhin kog skwelahan. Basta kay dentistry gyapun ko.‬

Morrie, Tuesdays With Morrie

Morrie, Tuesdays With Morrie

me and my brother's shenanigans yesterday night. Story: Our mom brought us to this graduation party that she was invited to. Only her. And we were just there bc she didn't want to cook and she wanted us to insert in the guest list. Haha! And yes, we did eat there and even bonded! Haha! Oh and thank you to that Mechanical Engineer cutie graduate! We are so proud of you! And thanks for letting us eat in your party! Haha!

Scared of the clinician years! But Lord thank You! I'll spend my summer the best way I can!

Were you taught to point out the wrong things a person makes every time? Were you taught that it is "okay" to tell someone "I WANT YOU TO FAIL" when it's almost the end of the semester and everyone's worried?? Do you feel better now that you've proved that person that they're wrong? AND TO THINK YOU WERE GROWN INTO A FAMILY THAT AS SOCIETY CALLS IT "PRIVILEGED" AND U DONT HAVE THE MANNERS TO TALK TO SOMEONE WITH RESPECT AND DECENCY??? R U REALLY THAT SHALLOW?? Because if you were YOU FUCKING SUCK AS A PERSON! YOU UTTERLY SUCK. GOD BLESS U IT JUST SHOCKS ME HOW A PERSON COULD BE SO BLUNT, MAY HAVE A LIL BIT above average IQ BUT VERY INAPPROPRIATE AND STUPID EVEN. TO THINK REALLY THAT U WERE RAISED BY A ""decent"" FAMILY U FUCKING SUCK // UR FAMILY IS NOT EVEN INTO BAD HABITS OR ANY VICES BUT U TURNED OUT TO BE THAT KIND OF PERSON HUH U SUCK