~ lightly child lightly ~

I wanna clasp your hands, I want to kiss your cheeks, I want soothe you and want to breathe you in until I can soothe myself because of you.

Ht is stress smoking

i want to sit down with someone and tell them about my life. i want them to hold my hand and listen to a million things that are unnecessary when it comes to knowing me.

i want them to remember the quirks and flaws, to make me smile as they bring it up when i least expect it. i want to want to tell them everything.

i want the indulgence of intimacy. i want the niches and the intricacies and the details the define us as separate beings, but still bring us that much closer. i want them to want that.

because, did you know i’ve been vegetarian since i was 11? just because someone said i wouldn’t do it??

or, did you know that i might not remember much of my childhood, but one of the prevailing core memories is the pure delight i felt when i finished my first chapter book?

maybe even, did you know every time me and my best friend get together, we have to rewatch tangled and sing every song? it’s been 6 years.

let's talk about how mo's love for tian grew since the last time he saw latter smiling

in the first pic, the world behind tian IS disappearing (it didn't disappear but almost)

and in the second one, the world behind him doesn't exist at all

bonus \(^v^\)

when tian sees mo, the world doesn't exists, it's only him

Sometimes your mind waits until it feels safe to start processing things emotionally. It’s a powerful survival strategy, but it can really blindside you, because just as you start to feel like things are okay, you’re overwhelmed by the realization of how not-okay things were before.

1. Stop Explaining Yourself

The narcissist doesn’t care about your thoughts, feelings, reasons, or excuses. This is the nature of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Narcissists do not have empathy or genuine interest in others beyond the service or status others offer them. They are not listening, not thinking about your point of view, and not interested in what you have to say unless it relates back to them in some way. When you explain yourself, you put yourself on the defensive, which is never a good position to be in with a narcissist.

2. Stop Making Yourself Vulnerable

The narcissistic personality sees vulnerability as weakness, period. Those of us with emotional intelligence understand that vulnerability is part of being human and necessary for trust and and intimacy. Through our vulnerability we access our greatest strength and connectedness. But the emotionally primitive narcissist merely sees your vulnerability as an opening for manipulation, one-upmanship, or outright attack. Narcissists view life as a competition or, in more extreme cases, a war zone.

3. Stop Looking for Attunement

Attunement is what we all look for in our relationships, especially with our loved ones and friends. Empathetic mirroring, understanding, and emotional engagement with others is necessary for healthy development. It is essential for the child learning self-regulation, the teenager working on secure individuation, and the adult building intimacy in relationships. Sadly, the narcissistic personality misses attunement in early childhood and remains unwilling or unable to genuinely attune to others later in life. The narcissist craves and often demands attuned attention and empathetic connection from others but does not reciprocate it. Many narcissists actively negate others as a way of feeling superior and in control.

4. Stop Expecting Them to Change

Narcissists can change. But the nature of the personality disorder is a mindset of emotional alienation and delusions of superiority, which shuts out self-reflection and personal responsibility. As much as you may care about the narcissist in your life, it is important to recognize that people with NPD rarely change and only do so if motivated for themselves, not for you or anyone else. As long as you continue to look for change, you keep yourself in the loop of neglect and abuse.  

5. Stop Excusing Them