rita

holding celebrities to your own personal moral bar and feeling personally betrayed by them not living up to those expectations, is parasocial and not a healthy way to ingest media of any kind. You should maybe take a break from following celebrity culture altogether. you will not find an "unproblematic fave" in a hockey player. they don't exist in your real life either. you are also not 100% unproblematic, and i can say that generally without having any idea who you are.

we all have our lines for what we will and will not accept from a celebrity before we become unable to support them, and there's nothing wrong with saying "my line has been crossed. i'm done with this person." taking care of yourself should always be your first priority. you can drop teams, players, mutuals, whatever you need to do to feel comfortable, and no one can or should make you feel bad about that.

and here's the one the people from the first point aren't going to like. it's also fully acceptable to say "my life experiences have set my line way further down the road, so nothing that has happened is a deal-breaker for me." and carry on with your fandom identity relatively unchanged.

no one but you gets to tell you how to feel, and anyone trying is just trying to make themselves feel better. so just do what you have to do, and remove yourself from situations you don't feel comfortable in.