Overthinking Should Be My Middle Name

But that all changed when we were on a hunt. Dean had gotten injured, and we didn't think he was going to make it. I remember the hopelessness I felt then. Sitting in the back of the impala with his head on my lap, tears streaming down my face, begging him to stay. 

That's when he'd whispered the three words I'd always only dreamed of him saying. 

I had started whispering them back, wanting him to know just how much I meant them, if those were going to be our final moments together. 

"I love you." I said, bringing myself back from the memory, reminding myself that we'd made it to the hospital in time. That Dean was alive and safe right next to me.

His face broke into the biggest grin. He pulled me down to give me a kiss. "I love you, sweetheart." 

The happiness I felt everytime we kissed was like nothing I'd ever felt before him. A giggle escaped my lips, as I leaned back down to kiss him.

We decided to spend the rest of the morning in bed, just talking and enjoying each other's company. 

Around 12 in the afternoon, I heard my phone ring. "Do you have to answer that?" Dean said with a groan.

I looked at my phone to see who was calling. "It's Chloe."

"You can call her back later." He threw his arms back around my waist, pulling me back to bed. 

"We've been in bed all morning. We should get up." I said turning back to him.

"I don't wa-" he started saying, but his stomach grumbled, cutting him off. "I think it's time we get up and get something to eat. I'll talk to her and meet you in the kitchen?" I pecked him on the lips as I got out of bed.

"Yeah, sure." 

__________ "So what did Chloe want to talk about?" Dean asked as he sat down next to me at the kitchen counter, with a plate of toast, from which, I stole one.

"Hey! That’s mine!" But before he could say anything else, I gave him my puppy dog eyes. He narrowed his at that. "You’re lucky I love you."

"Believe me, I know." I said, making him blush. I always loved the fact that I can make him do that.

He cleared his throat, "So what did she say?"

"Oh, well, she wants me to help her out on a hunt."

"Should I pack us a bag?" Dean asked, already getting up from the table, his plate in his hands.

"Yeah, I guess."

Just as Dean is about to walk out of the kitchen, Sam walked in. "Hey, I just found a case a few states over."

"Well Y/n and I were about to go help her friend Chloe-."

"It's okay. You both should go on the hunt Sam found. I'll join after I finish helping Chloe. It doesn't sound too crazy, from what she's told me."

Dean looked a little conflicted at first, but when I gave him a reassuring smile, he started caving in.

"You promise you'll be safe out there?" Dean asked, turning to look at me with a worried look.

"You know I always am." I said, and he knew that I was being serious. "Plus, I'm too good at this. I had an amazing trainer." I added playfully.

Dean finally smiled a little, though his shoulders were still a bit tense. "Okay then." Dean walked closer to me. Taking my hands in his he said, "Promise me I'll see you again in one piece."

"I promise."

__________

I wish I could say that I had kept my promise.

But the hunt went incredibly wrong. Chloe had thought there were only 2 werewolves targeting this town. So we had prepared accordingly. But when we broke into their hide out, we found way more.

We were able to kill them in the end, but there was no celebration or relief. They had managed to take us down with them.

I could see Chole laying crumpled on the floor, a halo of blood around her head. Her chest was still, and from the amount of blood, I knew it wasn't possible for her to be alive.

A sob broke its way out of me, as I mourned the loss of a close friend, while also knowing that my end wasn't too far away either.

As I lay there on the filthy warehouse floor, I only wished I could see Dean one last time. Feel his arms around me, his kiss on my lips. But I knew it wasn’t possible. I was too far away from him or any other form of help I could call for.

So I resorted to the only thing I could do. My one hand was trying to press on the wound, while the other reached for the phone in my pocket.

I tried to unlock it but my blood smeared fingers weren’t working on the screen. I somehow finally managed to make it work, and called Dean.

As the phone rang, I tried to calm myself down, taking deep breaths, but doing that also made me cough out blood.

After the phone had been ringing for a few seconds, I'd given up hope of it being answered. But finally, Dean picked up.

“Hey, sweetheart. Did you finish the hunt already? That was quick.”

I clenched my eyes shut to stop my tears from falling as I heard his voice. I decided I wanted to have one last normal conversation with him before telling him what had happened.

“Hey.” I replied, trying my best to sound fine. “Yeah I did.” I looked over at the dead body of the werewolves we had managed to kill, trying to alleviate some of my guilt. ‘I’m not exactly lying to him, right? It's bad enough that I've already broken my promise.’ I try my best to let out a slight believable laugh, “I told you I’m too good at this.”

Dean chuckled, “I trained you after all.” His voice turned a bit serious as he asked, “You okay there? You sound a little winded.”

“Yeah. I’m just a bit tired.” I say with a sigh. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too sweetheart. So are you coming over to help us with this hunt?”

“Actually, I might stay at the bunker. This hunt was very exhausting.”

“Okay. We're almost done here anyways. We'll be back at the bunker pretty soon too.”

“I'll see you there then.” I say with a sigh. “I love you. More than anything. You know that right?” I added.

“I know. And I love you more.”

This brings back the memories from all those nights we stayed up watching Tangled. He'd watched it with me a thousand times just because it was my favourite movie, but I was pretty sure he loved it too.

“I love you most.” I said, realising that we'll never watch it together again. We'll never be together again.

I will never get to see him smile, or count his freckles, or get lost in his green eyes, or-

All these thoughts overwhelmed me and before I could stop it, a sob escaped my lips.

“Y/n? Baby, what's wrong? Are you crying? Sweetheart, are you okay?” Dean's voice comes through the phone, sounding worried.

"I love you." I repeat, with another sob this time.

"Y/n where are you? Where's Chloe? Are you guys hurt? God please tell me you're okay."

After a small pause I hear him shout, "Sam! Track Y/n's phone and get help to her now."

He speaks again, in a soft whisper, "We're coming sweetheart. Okay? Just hold on for me. Please, Baby."

I shake my head, knowing it's too late. I'm too far away from them or any populated area to get any help in time.

"It's too late." I whisper back.

"Don't say that. Someone will get to you in time and you'll be fine, okay?" Dean sounds like he's on the verge of tears as he adds, "I love you. I need you. I need you to be okay. God, I don't know what I'm gonna do, I can't do this without you. So please baby, hold on for me."

I am about to reply when I hear Sam's voice call out to Dean, " We are a two hour drive away from her. I've contacted the closest authorities to get help to her, they're already on their way."

"You hear that sweetheart? Help is on the way, okay? And we're on our way too. Just keep talking to me. You're going to be fine."

As I start to see my vision turning darker around the edges, I know I have to remind him of the promise he made, hoping he keeps it even though I failed to keep mine.

"Dean, remember you promised me you won't do anything stupid if I were to ever die. You have to keep that promise."

"Y/n, I can't li-"

"Yes you can. I want you to keep going. Keep fighting. Keep saving the world. And join me when your time comes. Not a secnd before that." My voice is a weak whisper by the end. I knew I didn't have a lot of time left.

"O-okay. Okay. Just hold on for me. I love you baby. Please."

"I love you, too. So much." As soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel my energy drain away. The phone drops from my hand, the other hand on my wound no longer being able to apply pressure.

I think of Dean, smiling, green eyes sparkling, wanting that to be the last image in my mind. I think of the future I'd never get to have with him. I feel my eyes close one last time, as I slip into oblivion. The last thing I hear, is Dean calling out my name through the phone, and then, nothing.

__________

Three Months Ago

I had been sitting in the chair next to Dean's hospital bed for hours now, waiting for him to wake up.

'I can't believe he almost died today. I don't know what I would have done without him.'

As I felt him stir a bit, I immediately sat up, wishing for him to open those beautiful green eyes of his.

And when they did, I jumped up and huged him close, being careful of his injuries and the hospital equipments.

"Thank goodness! Don't ever do that to me again, okay? I have no idea what I would've done if I had lost you today." I said, still holding him close.

He chuckled. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

I pulled back a bit then, looking into his eyes. "I love you." I repeated what I'd whispered to him over and over again in the impala.

His smile grew impossibly wide, "I love you too."

I leaned down to kiss him, which caused his heart rate to spike. When I heard the machine, I strated laughing. Dean's cheeks were a slightly red now, as he pulled me back down to finally kiss me.

When we pulled away, I saw his cheeks were still red. "Just so you know, my heart's pretty much doing the same thing in here." I said with a shy smile.

"Come here." Dean shifted making space for me in his bed.

I got in carefully, placing my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Hey, Y/n" Dean whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid if I do die."

I pulled my head up to look at him. I wanted to protest, but then I thought of how I wanted him to promise me the same thing.

"Only if you promise the same."

He smiled and noded, giving me a peck on the lips. I put my head back on his chest.

When I remembered I should probably call the doctor to tell him Dean was awake, I looked up to see him asleep again. 'I guess that can wait a bit longer.'

As I laid there looking at his peaceful face, I only hoped that neither of us would ever have to fullfill that promise any time soon.

__________

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____________________

Sam had placed Dean on the kitchen counter, after giving him a bath, while he put together something for him to eat.

Just then Y/n walked into the kitchen. "How's the little guy doing?" She asked as she bent down so they were face to face, petting his head.

'would they stop calling me little?'

"Did Dean answer?" Sam asked from where he was standing near the stove.

Y/n lets out a sigh and looks down at her phone, her expression suddenly turning worried. "He still isn't answering his phone. I'm really worried Sammy."

"I'm sure he's fine. Why don't we wait a day, and if he still doesn't contact us, we'll go looking for him. Okay?"

"Yeah." Y/n replied half-heartedly, sitting down on a stool, already trying to call Dean again.

____________________

A few hours later, Y/n and Sam were sitting on the couch with Dean in between them, as they watched TV. Dean was curdled up against Y/n while she was busy trying to call him on his phone, eventually just giving up and turning her eyes towards the TV, though she wasn't really paying attention.

Dean had tried telling them it was him by barking and pointing at himself whenever his name came up, but it wasn't working out. He was keeping an eye out for any photographs of him, thinking maybe that would help. 'Until then I have to stay like this I guess.' he realised.

As Y/n started petting his head, he looked up to see her worried face. 'I wish I could tell her that I'm fine.' he thought to himself as he nudged himself closer to her, almost climbing on her lap.

"I'm off to bed." Sam announces as he gets up. "Do you want to keep him for the night or should I take him with me?" Sam asks Y/n.

"I'd like to keep him for the night, if you don't mind."

"Sure. 'Night."

"'Night."

Y/n and Dean are sitting in silence for a while when she speaks up, "I forgot to talk to Sam about a name for you" She says as she picks him up and places him completely on her lap. "I'll do it tomorrow I guess. Until then I'm gonna call you.." she trails off as she thinks for a moment. "Dean." she says with the sweetest smile.

Dean tilts his head at that. 'wait, does she know?'

"Because you're just as adorable as him. Maybe a bit more. Also, I know he'd be annoyed that I named a dog after him." Her smile was slightly playful as she said that.

"You and Sammy are so dead once I'm back to normal." He said, again as a bark.

Y/n's expression changes as she gets lost in her thoughts, her brows knitting together in a frown. "I'm really worried about him. I know he's the best hunter in the country, maybe the world. But just the thought of anything going wrong with the hunt and me not being there to help in any way I can and then loosing him because of it-" Her voice breaks slightly at the end. She swallows before continuing, "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to him while I wasn't there to help."

Dean felt his heart skip a beat. 'I knew she cared about me, but I never realised that she cared so deeply.'

"That too, before I could tell him I love him"

'Wait. Did I hear her right? Did she just say she loves me?'

"Not that I expect him to feel the same way, or that I would ever even have the guts to say it to him. But I just need him to know how much he means to me. How seeing him smile makes me so happy. He needs to know that he deserves the world, and so much more. And that he means everything to me. I love how selfless he is, how he's ready to give his all to help even one person, even though he's already given more than enough. I love how -" she stopped suddenly and looked down and Dean.

At this point she had tears in her eyes, and so did he. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Y/n quickly sniffled and dried her eyes. "Look at me. I'm confessing all my feelings to you but when Dean is in front of me I can't get a word out." She picked him up to look him in his eyes, "I probably bored you didn't I."

Dean was too shocked to protest.

"Come on let's go to bed." She said as she took him to his room.

____________________

When Dean woke up, the first thing he felt was a body in his arms. The smell reminded him of Yn so he snuggled in closer with a soft smile on his face. He was about to fall back asleep when he suddenly realised, 'Arms?'. He opened his eyes to look under the blanket, just to see that he was back to being a human. But since he hadn't been wearing any clothes as a puppy, he was completely naked. 'Well atleast the spell didn't last too long.'

He was trying to get out of bed without waking you, when his leg got stuck in the blanket and he fell with a loud thud. 'Great'

Y/n stirred around, disturbed by the noise, and eventually woke up. "Dean?" She asked reach her hand across her bed. When she didn't feel anything she sat up, and that's when she noticed 'Human' Dean, on her floor, butt naked.

She immediately covered her eyes, after letting out a yelp, her cheeks heating up. "What is going on? When did you come back? And why are you NAKED IN MY ROOM?"

"Well I-"

"You know what, go get dressed first. Explain it to me later."

As soon as she heard the door click shut she dropped her hands. She was sure her face was completely red at that point. She was about to get up to go look for the puppy, when her door suddenly opened again.

Dean stood there in only a bath robe and pajamas.

"When I said get dres-" Y/n's words are cut short when Dean comes in and cups her face in his hands. Looking into her eyes he asked, "Did you mean it?"

"W-What?" The proximity was making her nervous.

His eyes slipped to her lips for a second, then they were back up to her eyes. "Everything you said last night. Did you mean it? Do you really love me?"

"How d-do you? W-What?" She was incredibly confused now. 'how does he know that?'

"Do you really love me?"

"Y-yes"

As soon as the word left her lips, she felt Dean's lips on hers. Her eyes opened wide in shock, eye brows shooting up. But after a few seconds, she took in what was happening and melted into him. It was so much more than anything she could've ever imagined. She felt like all the cliche things she'd read about in books were coming true. As they broke apart for air, she kept her eyes closed for a few more seconds, holding on to that feeling.

When she opened her eyes, she found Dean's piercing green eyes looking into hers. "I love you too, sweetheart." He said, leaning down to peck her on the lips again.

Hearing him say that caused a slight giggle to escape her lips. She'd never felt this happy or hopeful.

As she came back down from the high, she remembered last night. She smacks him playfully on his chest, "Where the hell have you been? You had me worried sick. Also, how did you know what I said last night?" She pulled away from him a bit to look around the room, "And where's Dean?" She turned back to him, realising he doesn't know about the puppy yet. "Not you, the puppy me and Sammy brought in yesterday. I named him after you."

"Well I'll explain all that, and answer all your other questions in the kitchen with Sammy. Come on."

____________________

"So you were the puppy that we brought in yesterday?" Sammy asked with a confused look.

"Yup." Dean answered.

"The witch you were hunting turned you into a puppy?"

"Sure did. Thankfully, it seems like it only lasted 48 hours."

"So is the witch still alive?" It was Y/n asking the question this time.

"Yeah, we have to go back and finish the hunt."

Sam folded his arms, still looking a bit confused he said "Okay. Wow. That's some wierd information to take in."

Y/n expression suddenly turned shocked, "Wait a minute. So when I said all that stuff to the puppy last night, I was saying it to you, and you remember it all?"

"Yes, sweetheart." Dean replied, this time with a smirk.

"Well, fuck." Y/n dropped her head into her hands.

Dean walked closer to her, pulling her hands away from her face, "No need to be embarrassed, sweetheart. I'm glad you said all that. Gave me the courage to do what I did this morning."

Y/n smiled at that. Sam cleared his throat, "So, should we get packed for the hunt and get it over with?"

"Yeah. Also, don't ever bring a dog into the bunker behind my back again." Dean said, trying to give Sammy a stern look.

Sammy just walked out the kitchen saying, "Wasn't the first time, won't be the last."

"What? Sammy! SAM!" Dean tried calling out but Sam just walked off. "I'm going to have a talk with him."

Dean turned around to Y/n to see she had the biggest smile on her face. "And you too.", he said, his smile matching hers.

"I couldn't just leave you out there, you looked too adorable." She leaned up to kiss the corner of his mouth. "I'm still really embarrassed about last night." She said as she hid her face in his neck.

"Well then, why don't I tell you why I love you while we get ready for the hunt?"

"I have a feeling it's gonna make me more embarrassed."

"Too late. I love how smart you are. I love how funny you are. I love how you laugh at all my jokes even if they're not funny. I love how you -"

And as Dean continued, Y/n, still in Dean's arms, felt her smile get wider and her heart, lighter. 'I might have to thank the witch before we gank her.' She pulled back and interrupted his speech with a kiss, and soon she felt herself get lost in him. 'Yup, definitely need to thank her.'

____________________

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____________________

"So, first we need to mix the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl. You measure out the flour and I'll get the cocoa powder." I say. I measure out the required amount, and am about to put it in the bowl when another idea pops into my head.

"You know.. I've always wanted to know what you would look like with brown hair."

He pours the flour in the bowl as he says, "Really? Why? don't like my blonde hair any-" Before he can finish the sentence, I reach up and dump the cocoa powder on his head.

"Nope. Brown doesn't suit you." I look at him with a playful look. But it soon changes when I see that he's absolutely still, staring at the kitchen counter, no emotion visible on his face.

Shit. He's mad. I think as I swallow a lump growing in my throat. He's probably tired and wants to sleep. But you just had to drag him to bake cookies at 1 o'clock at night. And then you dump cocoa powder on his head. Of course he's mad. I mentally scold myself.

"I-I'm sorry." I say as I reach up to try to clean up the mess I've made. "I-I shouldn't have done th-that. I'll clean up the kitchen. I-" I suddenly see his hands move, but I'm not able to react fast enough. The next thing I know I'm covered in flour.

I look up in shock to see Dean looking at me with a big smile. "Ooh, you're so dead Winchester." I pick up the bowl with the remaining flour and run after him, with a smile matching his.

"Catch me if you can sweetheart." He says with a teasing voice. We're running around the kitchen island when he picks up the cocoa powder, and instead of running away comes towards me with a fistful. I throw the flour in the bowl towards him and turn around to try and run. But I'm too slow, and I let out a little yelp as he catches me. He puts one arm around my waist and uses the other to cover my face in the cocoa.

We're laughing as I turn around in his arms, and stand on my tip toes to kiss him. And as always, I get completely lost in him. I have to remind myself to pull away so I could breathe. As I'm looking up at him, my ears pick up the song playing on the speakers.

The moon is high, like your friends were the night that we first met.

"Oh! I love this song." I pull away as I start to dance a bit and sing along to the song.

Dean just stands there looking at me with the sweetest smile on his face. I take his hands in an attempt to get him to dance with me. "Come on!"

Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night

(Oh!) Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright

Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life

(One, two, one two three four!)

I look up at him as I sing the chorus.

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want

And even though I'm just singing along to the song, I mean every single word. When it comes to Dean, all that matters is that we're together. Everything else just fades into the background.

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want,

In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams

I wiggle my eyebrows for the last part, while looking at him with a suggestive look.

Oh, you're the one I want

Dean pulls me close to him. He reaches behind me to lower the volume of the song while giving me a peck on the lips. "Marry Me." I pull back and look at him with wide eyes. I must have misheard him. "Wh-What?"

He gets down on one knee, right there on the kitchen floor. I feel my eyes water up. He pulls out a rolled up tissue paper, tied into a ring. I let out a giggle.

"Y/n, I love you. More than I thought anyone could ever love anyone, and I keep falling deeper in love with every passing second. I know that head of your's has probably made up a number of reasons to make you believe that what I'm saying isn't true and that I'm gonna get bored and leave you someday. But you need to know that that's not true. There's no way that I could ever even think of leaving you. So, I want to spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that I love you and that you're more than anything I could ever ask for. So, Y/n Y/l/n, will you marry me?"

The tears finally spill and my throat closes up. I open my mouth to say something, but instead of words a sob makes its way out. So I just resort to nodding my head. Dean grabs my hand and puts the paper ring on. As soon as he gets up, I jump into his arms. I try to say 'I love you', as I tighten my arms around him, but it's comes out slightly choked.

"I love you too sweetheart, so much." His voice sounds teary too, so I pull back and look up at him.

"Is the Dean Winchester crying?"

"Of course I am. You just make me that happy, sweetheart." He gives me another peck, which turns into a kiss, and I can't help but think that it all seems too good to be true. I felt as if I would wake up any given second and realise that this was all just a figment of my imagination. So I kiss him harder, trying to hold on to this moment a bit longer.

____________________

My eyes open to sunlight streaming in from the window. I turn around to look across the bed to find the other side empty, except for a note on Dean's pillow. I pick it up and read what's written on it.

Will be back soon.

Love you, sweetheart

Dean

As I put the note back on the bed, I look down at my empty left ring finger and my mind goes back to my dream. While the memory makes me happy, it's makes me a bit sad too. All my insecurities suddenly surface up. _Would Dean ever actually want to spend his life with me? What if he doesn't? He probably doesn't. _I groan as I try to get my mind to shut up. I decide to get out of bed and get ready for the day.

As I enter the kitchen to grab some breakfast, a small smile creeps up on my face. But before my mind could wander into a hundred different directions, I hear the front door open.

"Hey. Good morning sweetheart." Dean says when he sees me.

"Good morning." I say and give him a peck on the lips. "Where did you go this early in the morning?"

"Well, I went to get something for you."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah." He reaches into the bag he was holding, which I hadn't noticed yet, and pulls out a small velvet box. I feel my eyes widen. So last night wasn't a dream? Then where's the paper ring? Maybe it came off while I was sleeping?

"I didn't tell you this last night, but I actually had already placed an order for a ring a couple of weeks ago. It was supposed to come in any day now, and then I had this whole thing planned out. We'd go some place quite for a picnic, spend the entire day doing things you love, and the day would end with me proposing. But last night, I just couldn't stop myself anymore. And with the song playing, I felt like it was the perfect opportunity. So I went ahead. Then I got a call from the store this morning, they told me I could collect the ring today. So," he paused and took a deep breath, "here it is."

He opened the box to reveal the most beautiful yet simple ring I could imagine. He looked up at me, probably hoping for some sort of response, just to find me staring at him. "Sweetheart? Are you okay?"

"Wait. You actually proposed to me last night?" I asked

He nodded looking slightly confused.

"And it wasn't all a dream?" The look on his face changes as he realises what I was thinking. He grins at me as he says, "No sweetheart. It all happened."

"And you don't regret asking me?" His expression changes yet again, the grin now replaced by a frown. "Of course not sweetheart, why would I?"

He cups my face, a slight smile on his face, "Don't you remember that speech I gave last night? I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." When my expression is still unsure, he says, "Fine, I'm gonna say it." He leans forward and whispers in my ear, "I love you more than I love pie."

I let out a dramatic gasp as I widen my eyes. "No!" I whisper back playfully. "Really?"

"It's true. If I ever had to choose, I'd choose you. Just don't ever make me do that."

"I wouldn't dare." I say, all my worries forgotten, a big smile on my face.

He pulls the ring out of the box and askes for my hand. I put my hand forward and he places the ring on my finger.

Looking at the ring brings back the tears in my eyes. "I love you so much, Dean."

"I love you too sweetheart."