Chronicles from the Attic..

THIS IS ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

So, on the AO3 “Cool Stuff” FAQ, there is a link to this document under “Posting and Managing Works.”

THIS IS THE BEST DOCUMENT IN ALL OF HISTORY. Basically, it has a script in it that has a “Post to AO3″ option and it will go in and fill in ALL the HTML you need - italics, bold, paragraph breaks, you name it!

It has directions in it for how to use it, but it’s real simple. You just always chose “Make a Copy” when you start writing to make a new document that you can then re-name. Change the language to American English (or whatever language you use) and type away. Then right before you post, click the button, get all the code in there, copy, paste, AND POST. 

It is literally so, so glorious and I want to tell everyone. 

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS CREAM. TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK. 

MEMORIZE THE PACKAGING SO YOU MAKE SURE YOU NEVER BUY THIS CREAM FOR YOURSELF OR ANYONE YOU LOVE.

This post is about vaginas. My vagina in particular. I get yeast infections pretty regularly, and until recently I was able to afford to see a doctor who could prescribe me fluconazole.

Fluconazole, a drug also known by the brand name Diflucan, is a small pink pill. You take two pills a few days apart from each other to restore balance and harmony to your bountiful folds. I’ve never ever had a bad side effect from taking this pill.

Cut to November 2016. I’m a recent college grad without reliable health care coverage in the process of finding a job. And I’m dealing with a yeast infection. Before I moved out of state, my previous doctor told me about Miconazole. She said it was as effective as the pill and hallelujah, it’s over the counter! I decided to purchase the cream pictured above. This treatment only lasted 3 days, a convenient time frame for my schedule.

The application process was a little messy, and some of the cream came in contact with my vulva and labia. Within 5 minutes every piece of skin that had come in contact with the cream, excluding my hands, was on fire. I wanted to scream it was so painful. I began frantically searching for what I should do online. 

I found a whole forum of people on drugs.com who had experienced something similar. These comments saved me, and these were just on the first page. There were 33 pages total, the earliest dated July 2009.

I was writhing in pain at 2AM when I found this forum (which I found by searching “my vagina burn itch hurts after miconazole” on Google). As soon as I read these comments I threw the devil cream directly into the trash and jumped in the shower. I didn’t feel any actual relief until I reached in and scraped the cream out of me. I paid $17 plus tax on this bullshit, but I could have just as easily ripped up my money or paid someone to not hurt me. 

The moral of the story is that vaginal health care is is completely fucked up because we don’t have access to an over the counter cure for yeast infections that is safe for our bodies and also YOU SHOULD NEVER BUY THIS CREAM EVER.

AND THEN I LEARNED THAT IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T HAVE A YEAST INFECTION. I had a bacterial infection, which is honestly pretty much identical to a yeast infection depending on the severity. The only difference is that IF YOU HAVE A BACTERIAL INFECTION AND TRY TO USE YEAST INFECTION MEDICATION IT WILL HURT

But it’s not actually the medication’s fault. The medication DOES do what it’s supposed to do, provided you’re actually suffering from a yeast infection. Chances are though that you and every one who commented on this did, in fact, have bacterial infections instead.

FORTUNATELY they also make over the counter tests so you can know if you need to call your doctor or just grab some yeast medicine off the shelf. Next time if you aren’t sure, pee on a stick and save yourself a world of fucking pain

Yeast infection discharge will usually be thick and white, almost looking like cottage cheese. It usually does not smell. Yeast infections will itch and burn. They are usually treated with anti fungals to kill the overgrowth of yeast. Clotrimazole or the Miconazole are the typical treatments.

Trigger Warning: Self harm, cutting, depression, and eating disorders are mentioned.

Self-harm is painted as a particular portrait of sketched lines across arms, and scars that don’t heal, but there are other ways to self-harm that aren’t as openly discussed. The Oxford Dictionary defines self-harm as, the deliberate injury to oneself, typically as a manifestation of a psychological or psychiatric disorder. The key word there being deliberate. Everyone has unhealthy habits, but if the intention is to hurt yourself, it then becomes a type of self-harm.

So how do we stop these dangerous habits?  The first step to combating them is materializing them, changing the label from bad habits to things that damage. To help this, below are listed five ways that you’re self-harming before you pick up the razor.

Sleep Deprivation

A common symptom of depression can be oversleeping, but another sign can be willful insomnia. When you stay awake, because you believe you don’t deserve rest, or you feel a compulsion to keep yourself up, it becomes an act of self-harm.

Lack of sleep can cause…

Though this Administration has vowed today to sign an executive order that would end the separation of families at the border stemming from its “zero tolerance” policy, we must continue to apply pressure and do our part. Families should have never been separated in the first place.

Here are five ways that you can help:

1. Call your Senator and let them know that immigration reform is still needed. Call the Senate switchboard at (202) 224-3121 and ask for your Senator’s office.

2. Donate to organizations that are providing support to immigrant families being held in detention centers all over the country:

The Florence Immigration Project - The Florence Project is providing free legal and social services to migrants being detained in Arizona.

The Texas Civil Rights Project - Lawyers in Texas have banned together to fight for “equality and justice in and out of the courts.”

ACLU of Texas Border Rights Center

RAICES Bond Fund - This fund provides money to release parents from detention centers so they can look for their kids.

CARA Family Detention Pro Bono Project - CARA provides legal representation for families in detention centers.

KIND - Kids In Need of Defense (KIND) provides legal representation for unaccompanied minors in detention centers. They’ve also provided other ways for you to help oppose family separation here.

CARA Pro Bono Project - Help alleviate the cost of housing for volunteer lawyers, as well as sending coloring books to those children in detention centers.

Refugee Caravan - Donate what you can to help detained immigrants make phone calls to their families and lawyers.

3. Contact the Immigration Justice Campaign if you, or someone you know, are fluent in Spanish and can assists lawyers at the border over the phone as an interpreter.

4. Contact Northwest Immigrant Rights Project and volunteer your services as a Spanish-speaking interpreter or as a lawyer for those parents who have been sent to the state of Washington without their children.

5. If you’re a lawyer, law student, paralegal or Spanish-speaking interpreter, contact the Dilley Pro Bono Project for a week-long shift as a volunteer in Texas.

ALL OF THESE GIFS ARE ONE MAN

THE SINGULAR BUSTER KEATON

WHILE FILMING THE GENERAL

HE SNAPPED HIS NECK ON THE RAILROAD TIES AND WENT HOME AND ICED HIS BODY

AND CAME BACK FOR WORK THE NEXT DAY

HE ONCE GOT HIS HIP RIPPED OUT OF ITS SOCKET BY A MALFUNCTIONING ELEVATOR AND WAS DISAPPOINTED WITH HIMSELF FOR BEING INJURED

HE ONCE HAD TO FALL 100 FEET DOWN A WATERFALL INTO A NET

A STUNTMAN TESTED IT AND BROKE BOTH LEGS AND DISLOCATED HIS SHOULDER

BUSTER DID THE STUNT ANYWAY AND LANDED WITHOUT A SCRATCH

IN ‘THE HIGH DIVE’

BUSTER DID A TRICK DIVE THROUGH A CARDBOARD DECK THAT WAS CAMOUFLAGED TO LOOK LIKE THE REAL DECK

ONLY HE COULDN’T TELL FROM 100 FEET UP WHERE THE CARDBOARD STOPPED AND THE REAL DECK STARTED AND THERE WAS ONLY LIKE A THREE FOOT MARGIN FOR ERROR

AND WHEN HE HESITATED A SUDDEN BREEZE LITERALLY KNOCKED HIM OFF THE DIVING BOARD AND HE HAD TO JUMP ANYWAY

AND HE MISSED THE REAL DECK BY LESS THAN A FOOT BUT HE MADE IT

IN THE SECOND GIF HE’S RECREATING SOMETHING THAT THE ACTUAL GENERAL PURSUERS HAD TO DO IN THE CIVIL WAR

IF HE MISSES THAT TIE

THE TRAIN WILL BE DERAILED AND HE WILL DIE IN THE EXPLOSION

IN THE THIRD GIF AN ENTIRE HOUSE IS FALLING HE HAS ONE TAKE AND IF HE HAS NOT DONE THE CALCULATIONS CORRECTLY HE WILL BE CRUSHED

HE HAS AN INCH-WIDE MARGIN ON EACH SIDE

AND THE HOUSE LITERALLY BRUSHES HIS LEFT SHOULDER ON THE WAY DOWN

YOU CAN SEE HIS LEFT ARM JUMP BECAUSE HE’S FLINCHING FROM THE PAIN

THAT LAST GIF

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE THAT JUMP

HE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO FALL AND THEY HADNT PLANNED FOR IT

BUT HE SURVIVED

BUSTER KEATON SURVIVED 100% OF THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED LESSER MEN INCLUDING WWI, TORNADOS, HOUSEFIRES, ALCOHOLISM, BROKEN NETS, CRUSHING DEPRESSION, THE DEPRESSION ITSELF, THE MCCARTHY WITCHHUNTS, THE END OF SILENT CINEMA, AND ABOUT 900 MORE OF THE STUNTS YOU SEE ABOVE

BUSTER LIVED TO BE 70 YEARS OLD

FATHERED LIKE FOUR KIDS AND EIGHT GRANDKIDS

HE CAME OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF ALL THAT

THINKING THAT LIFE WAS GOOD AND PEOPLE WERE WONDERFUL

BUSTER KEATON IS NOT JUST A STUNTMAN

THEY WERE ACROBATS.

THEY TOOK BABY BUSTER UP HIGH IN THE AIR WITH THEM.

THEY DROPPED HIM.

LUCKILY SOMEONE WHO WAS STANDING UNDER THEM CAUGHT BABY BUSTER.

THAT MAN WAS HARRY HOUDINI. 

HARRY HOUDINI SAVED BUSTER KEATON’S LIFE.