I sleep

It’s been fucking days. Nearly a WEEK

He hasn’t said more than, you counted, 10 sentences. This is getting ridiculous. You could put up with it for two or three days, sure. Maybe he’s shy and he needed to work up the courage to talk properly to his travelling companion. Porters are usually known to be solitary creatures. You thought, maybe you could give him some space and let him start the conversation naturally. Nope. He would mutter some sort of command and resume his stoic trek forward. Ok, so genuinely you would maybe push a bit of discussion. Nothing crazy, just small talk. Like ‘How you are finding the weather?’ or ‘Have you travelled out this way before?’. He would give you AT MOST a ‘It’s fine’ or ‘Yeah’ and that’s the end of that.

Jesus H Christ, you never thought of yourself the most conversational person, but the silence is starting to drive you up the wall. Even Nathan would talk more, and he was a tough nut to crack. Your heart aches, you hope he’s doing ok.

The gurgles and coos from the BB were a welcome noise from the uncomfortable silence. You were tempted to ask if you could hold them, but you already knew the answer to that. Only designated Bridges operatives can use BB units, that only include Porters who worked for the UCA or Bridges and military personnel. You were neither. Though, you yourself didn’t need the BB to see the BTs themselves.

Unfortunately, the DOOMS allow you to do just that. All be it, not perfect. For you, you couldn’t see them exactly, it was an overwhelming sense of dread. Like a wave of fear hits you like no other.

From the few points you have come across them. More occasions than a regular person should ever have to see them. The less times the better, but you know you’re going to run into them sooner rather than later. But for now, you at least have the beautiful Nevada landscape to catch your eye. With the absence of change in weather patterns from Timefall and the lack of human interference. The landscape has grown wilder and full of foliage. It’s still a desert climate but there’s cacti and other desert plants littering the landscape, in a multitude of colors. The mountains in the far distance paint a beautiful, picturesque scene before you. It was just coming into golden hour, the sky was lit with a wealth of pinks, oranges and blues. You could forget yourself in beauty like this. You had to take a moment to stop and admire. You can’t remember the last time you’ve done that.

From the vantage point of where you stopped you could see over a vast small valley, deserted trees and bushes, green with the spring air. Timefall doesn’t happen here as much as it does in the midwestern regions, so the area hasn’t taken a barren of an appearance as the rest of the USA. You’re thankful for that.

It was a few moments before you heard a startling bark from ahead of you. “Medico” He’s using more Italian than he did before, “We don’t have all day. It’ll be dark soon. Come on.” You scowl. It’s not like you’re on a time limit. At least it got him talking to you.

Making quick steps to catch up with him. “I’m not that kind of doctor, you know.” He says nothing as you both continue on ahead. You open the mini map on the holographic pad attached to your wrist. “We’re not far from a UCA safehouse, how about we stay there for tonight.”

“There’s a research encampment a few miles further ahead. We’ll head there for the night” Screw that, you’re tired. He’s tired and you both ran out of cigarettes yesterday so you’re both very crabby.

“Neil, we’ve been walking for hours. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m not a porter. I don’t walk days at a time” You’re not one for the deadly risk taking and unpredictable terrain. A porter’s job is not for you; you came to that conclusion a long time ago.

“Really, I wouldn’t have guess.” He gruffs quietly, but not quiet enough that you can’t hear it. Oh, now he’s a smart ass. He doesn’t even look at you. The dickhead.

“Unless you plan on strapping me to your back like how you porter’s usually do it. We’re stopping at the safe house.” He turns to give an eye. You’ve won that battle.

It didn’t take you two long to get to the safehouse. Around an hour, the sun was already setting and the chill in the air was hitting, after the heat of the day it was refreshing. It wasn’t huge, the entrance was just a door in a large enough boulder, concealing it from the surface world. Neil placed his hand on the scanner highlighted to the left of the door. After a few moments, it gave a faint buzz before the door opened on its own. It was definitely helpful having the government back your excursion. Even with the looming sense of what you now owe them.

Down the long staircase, you found your lodgings for the night, it was empty. It was a single room, plain, concrete walls, a small kitchenette in the left-hand back corner, a door in the middle which leads to you assuming the bathroom and a neatly laid out cot in the back right-hand corner. To the right of entrance was a desk with security cameras from the outside, four monitors in total. They really don’t pull their punches, do they. The place was claustrophobic, but it will do for the night.

You make your way to the cot to let down your supplies. Glancing at the bed, a thought crossed your mind. There’s two of you…. And only one bed. Checking back to the man with you, he seemed more focused on the cameras. The two of you are not fitting on this bed, even if you tried. You’re not exactly small but Neil’s not short either. Well, this is annoying.

“So… Slight problem.” The man turns to face you, brow raised. “There’s only one single bed and the two of us.” His eyes dart from the cot to yourself before he turns back to the desk. Letting his own equipment fall beside it.

“You take the bed, I’ll stay here.” There's a hum of the computer system coming to life as he sits on the office chair.

“Wait, you can’t just sleep at the desk.” Even if he is an asshole, you can’t just let him ruin his back. You need him to be in full health.

“I’ll sleep on the floor. Go to bed.” He still doesn’t look at you, focused on some unseen threat outside. As blunt as he generally is. He’d give Lucy a run for her money. The fact that he keeps ignoring you is making that anger of yours build.

You’d argue but right now you don’t really see the point in it. There’s a bed and you need to sleep. He can be a gentleman all he wants but it’s his back that must suffer for it. “Alright, but don’t start complaining about how sore you are in the morning. You chose this. I know how you Italians get.” Was that uncalled for probably. You’re too tired to care right now.

Now that made him turn to you. Eyes narrowed.

“ ‘How you Italians get’ ’” He makes a quotes gesture with his hands. “Porca miseria. I get you here in one piece and all you do is complain.” His nostrils flare as his hand gestures wildly towards you. There's that Italian drama you’ve known.

You retort in rolling your eyes, “All I’m saying is, you’re going to suffer for it tomorrow and who can you blame? Yourself.”

With a ‘tch’, he turns back to the desk. “Do you want me to get in bed with you. Is that what you’re asking?” He doesn’t seem that phased by the question, but you bristle. Face becoming hot.

“Jesus no, go sleep outside if you’re that pushed about it.” You turn back to your own stuff, gathering your toiletries and PJ’s. The sleep is starting to hit; you can feel your eyes become heavy and sore.

“You sound more ‘pushed’ about this then I am.” He still doesn’t look at you. This is really getting on your fucking nerves. This guy has to have the last laugh, doesn’t he?

“Oh, forgive me for caring about how well you sleep. Not like you’re my guide through this hellscape. Your wellbeing directly effects mine. I’ll make sure to not give a shit next time.” You snarl back. There goes you’re ‘I’m not bothered to argue’ but you can’t help yourself. When someone gives you smack then you will respond kind. You’re not just going to let this guy walk all over you, it’s just tragic you have to spend the rest of the trip with him.

As you ready your things, the heat of embarrassment flushes through you. You know this whole quarrel was rather childish, you’ve been out here for a week with a strange man you barely know, and you still have months of this to go. On top of all that, your feet are sore as fuck.

Maybe Heartman was right, if you annoy him so much, he might just throw the BB at you.

You almost forgot about the BB, from the bed, you can see he’s placed them on the table beside him. It looked like they were asleep, curled up around themselves. Even if Neil tried his hardest to ignore you, he was very attentive to the BB. Throughout the last few days, he’s made sure to sooth them whenever they started to cry. You would never admit it, but you have heard him talking to them. Mostly when you’re at a distance that he thinks you can’t hear.

It was sweet.

Even the most stringent men can have a soft spot.

Thankfully, you two didn’t speak much after your whole little tiff. As you drift off into the ether. You know that will not be your last.

Crashing waves meet your eye.

You don’t like how frequent these dreams are getting. There was a long stint where you went months even years without dreaming of the beach. It was blissful, while Morgan was around its as if he kept them at bay. Acting as a safeguard against the effects of DOOMS for you. You didn’t get headaches, or the allergy didn’t flare up. The dreams were the worse part. Insomnia plagued you for most of your teen years, if it wasn’t the eerie prolific visions of Amelie Strand. It was the night you jumped beaches first. Now you’ve added Morgan to the roster, so no matter what, you’re not getting a good night sleep.

Everything was much the same. Dark shores, the carcasses of various marine life littered the sand as far as you could see. There was a chill in the air, crisp, but enough to make goose bumps appear on your arms. You could even taste the air; the brine could make your eyes water.

Even with all that, it was calm.

The stillness was broken by a familiar tune being sung.

“Here comes the sun, Doo-d-doo-doo Here comes the sun And I say, "It's all right"

Oh, he’s back.

A bit away from where you stood. The same little boy from your last dream was poking a stick into a small rock pool. This time he looks a bit older now. He was hopping around, trying to get a better look at what lay in the small pool. He was humming away.

You find yourself at the pool. It was shallow, clear, from what you could make there was a plethora of starfish floating around the water. Probably dead. He seemed to poke the creatures with a sort of morbid curiosity. Face contorted in concentration.

“You really like that song, don’t you?” You spoke delicately.

“It’s my mommy’s favourite song” He replied, he turned to look at you with a smile.

“It’s my mom’s favourite song too” You sighed. Even the thought of her hurts your heart. “My Mom told me, no matter what, even if you have a bad day. The worst day imaginable. The sun will always come up.”

“My mom also says the sun is really important. It gives you vitamins.”

“Your mom is a smart woman.” Kids have the best talent for diverting conversations. “Sweetheart, what’s your name?”

He doesn’t reply straight away, he ponders something before answering. “My mommy says I should tell strangers my name.” He replies quietly.

“She’s right, you shouldn’t.” He’s clever child, but that’s not helping you figure this out. “Where is your mom?”

He stopped; he looks up at you with a confused shocked face. “I don’t know….” The thought must have not crossed his mind. His green eyes started to water. His bottom lip quivered.

You shoot down to your knees to meet his tearful eyes. Gently grabbing his little hands, you look up at him as he sniffles. “It’s ok, it’s ok. We’ll find her together. Do you know what she looks like?” You spoke gently. Squeezing his hands. He just shakes his head; more tears fall down his face.

“N-no. I -hiccup- I can’t. I can’t remember” His little face just breaks your heart.

“Ok, alright. We’ll figure this out together. I’m going to help you.” He was fully sobbing now. Your own lip starts to wobble as you pull him into a hug. He cries into your chest, gripping your dress.

“Shhh, its ok. You’ll be fine with me.” Rubbing circles into his back, you pat his head lightly. His sobbing has quietened but he still doesn’t move from your chest. You turn your eyes too the sky.

“Hey, look” you say, it takes a moment, but he looks up. Green eyes standing out against the bloodshot whites, and puffy pink cheeks. You point your finger to the clouds.

“Doesn’t that look like a dinosaur?” Its blob shaped cloud, you could see a sort of dinosaur if you squinted really hard. Though he didn’t seem to mind.

“Y-yeah, it’s a T-rex” He rubbed his eyes roughly with his sleeve. It can be whatever he wants it to be.

“Yeah, and that one there, looks like horse!” You point to another vaguely horse shaped cloud.

“No, it’s not, it’s a giraffe!” The tears have vanished as he pushes away, pointing to another cloud.

“That’s a spaceship!” If it wasn’t for his puffy face, you wouldn’t not have guessed he was crying a few moments ago.

“Oh cool, you like spaceships?” Now he looks at you with excitement.

“YEAH! I wanna be in one! I wanna go to space! I have a whole book about it!”

“Wow, you’ll have to show me when we find your mom.” You smile at the young boy.

“Ok!” He responses cheerfully.

Just as you stand, a new voice jolts you. It’s your name. You turn on your heel, eyes wide at the sight of Amelie standing a few feet away from you.

A sharp inhale and you’re awake.

It’s still the cramped bunker you fell asleep in. It’s darker than you remember, the blue light from the computer monitors illuminated the room. You sit up slowly, wiping your cheeks. The inky black of the allergy stains your face. You quickly clean it off with a rag from your bag.

“You sing in your sleep.” Neil’s soft voice cuts through the silence. You forgot he was even here. He was still sitting at the desk.

“What?” Great retort.

He turns to look at you. “You sang; Here Comes the Sun. You like the Beatles?”

“Well Yeah” Swinging your legs around, you shiver as your bare feet touch the concrete floor. “Of course I do, they’re the best. They’re the most iconic band of all time.”

“I’m more of a rolling stones kind of guy.”

“Why does that not shock me. Next thing you’re going to tell me is you’re a Nirvana fan.”

With a roll of his eyes, he turns back to the computer. He seemed to be looking through some files. He doesn’t look like he’s slept.

“I hope my singing didn’t keep you up” you say as your get your things ready. The neon numbers on the clock showed, 07:30.

“I didn’t sleep” Is all he replies before standing himself, taking the BB with him. “We need to keep moving, we’ll take the northwest route. It’ll bypass the worse of the craters.” He’s already out the door before you can even respond.

Guess he’s not a fan.

For the rest of the morning and afternoon, the two of you managed to make good ground. The deserts of Nevada turned to the plains of Utah, due to the timefall in the area, the once grassy prairies turned to flat dark ground. You wondered what it looked like pre-death stranding. The movies and books can only show you so much but the feeling of fresh grass between your hands sounds heavenly. There are greenhouses in bunkers, but nothing could beat the actual feeling of nature. You hope one day; you’d get to experience it for yourself.

Much of the day passed like the last few, painfully quiet. No more comments about music, it was nice when it lasted. It was just coming to the evening when the tell tale dark grey clouds started to form. The air was heavy, humid. It was going to rain. Neil had started to pick up the pace, he was already a few yards away from you. Use to trekking his way quickly through terrain.

He turned to see you’re not as close to him as you were, a deep frown made its way onto his face. “Come on, we don’t have long. Keep up.”

“Do I need to reiterate that I’m not use to this?” You ground out, your pace turned into a light jog but in the gear, it made it feel cumbersome.

Once you were at an acceptable distance, he kept moving without saying a word. All you could do was furrow your brows but hold your tongue. Now was not the time to be harassing him. The wind was picking up around you, the clouds becoming dull, it was getting darker awfully quickly.

Then the first little pitter patter of droplets hit your hood.  “Fucking christ” Is all you could muster. You have been extremely lucky so far to not encounter this yet, but sooner rather then later. Timefall always hits.

And like how rain always is, it starts out small until its lashing.

“Come on, Matta! Or are you planning on turning 100 soon?” I’m going to throw you into the nearest river.

“Alright Mario, I could do with out the sass.” The timefall was relentless. You could hear it pelting down on you’re hood. Your mask and visor covered your face, even with modern technology, they still haven’t mastered making visor’s that actually let you see out of them. You could barely see Neil in front of you. “I can’t see for shit man!” You call out to him. The wind howling.

From what you could see, Neil pauses before making his way back to you. The BB had their hands on the glass, looking worried.

“Fottere, Mi farai fare tutto, vero.” His harsh tone sounds odd with such a nice sounding language. He quickly grabs your arm, pulling you along as a quick pace. You can barely keep up with him. You struggle against him.

“Hey, you fucking asshole! Let me go! I don’t need you to walk me.” You yank your arm from his grasp. He turns to you, though you can’t see his face with his own mask and visor.

“Do you want to get yourself fucking killed, Scienziato pazzo? If you want too, can it wait until we get this over with? I have a job to do, and you are making this difficult.” He half yells at you. His yell is more of an exasperated tone. You don’t think this man can speak over a certain decibel.

“Oh well I’m so fucking sorry that I’m not some brave, courageous porter like yourself.” You almost missed how he fists clench. “That I’m finding this hard. This is so fucking hard. I don’t leave the bunker, not after last time because fuck that. I’m not meant to be out here. I- I can’t be out here.” You suddenly are finding it hard to breath. The rain and wind deafening you, your own racing heartbeat is all you can feel. It’s so hot in the suit. The BB’s cries cut through it all.

“Do you think I want to be out here-” He’s cut off by the clickclickclickclick of the odradek. Neil steps away from you, looking around wildly. Your breath quickens.

Oh god not again.

With a shaking hand, you grab Neils upper arm to steady yourself, gripping his bicep with unknown strength. The overwhelming dread threats to consume you. The darkness creeps into your vison. The raindrops on the visor and encompassing black are all you can see. You can start to hear them, over your own pulse and breathing, the wails.  You think Neil saying something, before he grabs your hand, quickly pulling you in some sort of direction.

It’s just one job.

Just one long fucking job.

Just get this over with.

After taking a drag from the half-finished cigarette, he paused to taste the tobacco. Waiting for it to take effect, he exhaled through his nose. The burn was familiar to him. Drew him back to the present. Smoke filled the elevator. Smoking was prohibited in non-designated areas. Everyone ignored that, he was probably the worst offender. Not like he can do any worse than what he’s already done. The ride was quiet, the elevator hums and the flicker of lights indicating he was nearing his destination.

Neil’s not sure if he’s dreading it or relieved that he finally gets to leave this suffocating bunker.

With a ding, he finally got to the top floor. A familiar face greets him; his weary green eyes meet devilish black ones. Alejando has his signature grin plastered all over his face.  Of course he’s here first.

“Mi Amigo, finally!” He steps beside the shorter man, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. Neil uses to hate it, the constant attention from the other man. Al is one for physical affection. A pat on the back or shoulder. A rough scratch of his hair. He’s hugged him from behind once, but Neil punched him in the face within moments. So, he never did that again. Neil didn’t understand why Al was so keen to be around him. Alejandro is a good man, a bit brash for his own good, mouthier than most, but a decent person. When it really mattered. The thought of Al finding out about his more, taxing jobs, filled Neil with absolute terror and shame. Would he even consider him his friend after that?

“I was half thinking you wouldn’t show up.”

Neil scoffed. “Like I have much of a choice.” He has nowhere else to go. He just has to follow orders.

Al stopped abruptly, Neil turned to see furrowed brows. “It’s just a few months Neil. Once you’re done, the credits you’ll get you can give up this porter business.”

Neil wants to believe him. He really does. But it’s not that simple, it’s never that simple. Not with the UCA or Bridges.

All Neil does is give Alejando a pursed smile before he turns around and continues walking. The other man wastes no time in catching up to him.

“My offer still stands.” Alejando says silently. Rare for him to say anything quietly. “Just say the word and I’ll get you the job”

A job to work under him directly, trading porter work for security detail. It’s a good gig, cushy job, great pay, he wouldn’t have to deal with all this messy fucked work from Mexico. But that’s the thing, he’s never getting out of that gig. No matter how much he wanted too. He’s in too deep. Deep enough to not see the light above. The UCA isn’t going to let him go just like that. He knows too much.

“Thank you Al. I….I appreciate the offer. I really do” He can’t look at him. If he does, he might just break.

“Hermano, if there’s something stopping you, you know I can help. It’s the least I can do.” Alejandro pleads. Neil could use another cigarette.

“I know, it’s just-“

“Gentleman”

Both men turn to see Agent Jefferson, Neil bristles. Jefferson’s face forever haunts the far reaches of his mind. You’ll never forget the man that gives the orders to go to hell and back over and over again. Gesù Cristo, if he heard anything.

“Señor Jefferson, I’m surprised to see you up this bright and early. It’s nice seeing you again, it’s been so long since you’ve been in the OC, we didn’t get to chat after yesterday.” Alejandro’s jolly tone hides venom. There’s a bite to it that only Neil hears. He’s known him long enough to be able to tell the difference.

“Yes, Sorry about that. You know no rest for the wicked.” Jefferson too has a pleasant smile but it’s as fake as the rest of him. Jefferson makes his way into their space, like he owns it. Well, he owns Neil's anyway. His steely blue eyes meet his own olive ones. That smile never leaving his face. 

“Mr Vana. I hope you’re ready for this trip. I wont lie and say it’ll be easy, but you’ll be helping facilitate great work. You’re a real asset to the UCA, we really appreciate it” Theres a tang to the last sentence. A glint of knowing in Jeffersons eye. Theres no escaping from them.

“It’s an honour, Agent.” He gives him a curt nod.

“Mr Torres, Thank you for escorting Mr Vana. I will take it from here. We need you back in HQ, there’s been more MULE sightings near to the west entrance. The UCA will be giving you support.” Alejandro’s jaw tenses, but his smile doesn’t leave either. He glances back to Neil. There’s a question there. Neil nods, he’ll be fine. His eyes focus back on Jefferson.

“Of course, Jefferson. I’ll have my men keep an eye.” Before he turns to leave, his hand meets Neil’s shoulder. He squeezes; it’s a sign to show he’s here. The look in his face says, ‘Don’t be afraid to call’.

Neil gives him a genuine smile. He hasn’t had one in a long time.

It was short lived when he was reminded, he wasn’t alone. “Neil, I don’t have to remind you that we have a deal.” Jeffersons tone was hushed. Tight.

“You think I asked to be put on this mission. Strand put me onto this directly.” He glowered at the other man. That smile was gone now. Jefferson lets his true colours shine when he’s alone with him. They’re in this together, Neil has just as much dirt on Jefferson as he has on him. It’s just the American has more power in this situation. “And don’t call me Neil. I’m not your friend”

“Tch- That’s Madam Strand to you, Neil. Since you’ve been such a good asset.” He takes a step closer, ever invading his space but Neil doesn’t back down. “You get this job over with and I might reconsider the terms of our arrangement.” He slowly walks around Neil. Circling him like a predator. “Madam Strand has taken a keen interest in this project. I would have sent Sam Strand on this, but Torres” He spat Alejandro’s name out like a swear. Neil burned.  “Had a glowing review about you.”

Neil knew Alejandro had risen the ranks quickly. Taking over security of the whole city, he’s heard murmurs of him being considered for spear heading the department of security for the whole east coast of the UCA. Jefferson seems to have taken some offense to that. Good.

“I will admit. I agree with him. You are efficient at your job” He smirked. The prick.

“Thank you. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without you.” Neil spits back. He knows both of them are in this. The cocky look in Jeffersons eyes is replaced by ice. He doesn’t reply as he turns to continue down the hall. Neil following behind with some distance.

The two men enter the exit bay in silence. Amelia Strand already standing by the open hanger. She has her eyes trained to the pink of the early morning sky above.

It’s just one job.

Why did they need you leave at 6 am? Getting up any earlier then 7 should be illegal. It takes you the guts of an hour to even consider talking to someone, let alone going out into the void torn lands of the outside world. You managed to roll out of bed at 5:10, would have been 5:30 if you actually decided to pack the night before and not rewatch that show you’ve seen a thousand times to calm your nerves, but you were a last-minute kind of person after all. You didn’t have much to bring, toiletries, some clothes and that one photo of you and Morgan at your birthday some years ago. A candid one, someone took on a polaroid, you laughing at some hideous pun before the flash went off. You think you look horrible, but his cheeky smile was what made you keep it. He looked overjoyed at the fact he made you laugh like that.

You couldn’t bare to part with it. It was like a lucky charm.

The trek to the exit bay was quick. There was only a hand full of other passengers on the tram. You could drink your coffee in peace. Which was probably going to be your last cup of good coffee in a long time, you better saver it.

Just as you were making your way to the exit from the elevator, you round the corner. Taking a quick sip of your cooled coffee.

“-I might reconsider the terms of our arrangement” Oh shit.

There was Neil and the Agent that was with Ameila. Agent something or other. The sleazy looking one. They seemed to be in a heated conversation, from the look on Neil’s face. His green eyes blazing with some sort of seething rage. You didn’t catch much of the conversation since you quickly stepped back behind the corner. There were mutterings but you couldn’t pick it up fully from that distance behind the wall.

Whatever they were talking about it was serious.  Did they know each other?

Once the talking stopped and you could hear the faint footsteps of the men. You waited for them to be at a distance before making your way slowly to the hanger. You were not getting involved with that whatsoever.

You arrived in the hanger a few minutes later. Amelia’s eyes meet yours; she seems pleased to see you. She’s pleased to see everyone all the time. Just as you get to the small group. Heartman appears in a flash. You both smile at each other.

“Good morning” He greets you.

“I wouldn’t say it’s a good morning but it’s a morning” You whisper, He chuckles.

“Now that we’re all here, I’ll go over the specifics of this mission.” She turns to the holographic screen that appeared from the terminal beside her. You take your place a few feet away from the two men. Neil’s in porter gear. Bulky, with all the little mechanical bits and bobs sticking out in places. You know all of it serves a purpose, but it does look rather cumbersome.  How heavy are these things? You’re not going to have to wear one? Of course you were. His suit looked worn, well used. He’s been out in the fray more than you can ever imagine. You wonder what he has seen. You’ve gotten glimpses of the torn apart world outside but those were quick, and you had a whole squadron of people with you. Now it’s just the two of you.

Though, he is missing the one thing they’re going to need to not get yourselves killed. There’s an empty space where a BB unit should be.

You glance back up to meet his gaze, oh god. He noticed you staring. You turn quickly, saving what little bit of dignity you have left.

“I have taken the liberty of mapping out a trail for you to follow. It’s the most direct route that avoids the most hazardous areas.” A map shows what’s left of the ruined America. Huge perfectly circle craters litter the landscape. You’re eyes natural drift to lower Nevada. There’s a smaller one there. You’re heart aches.

“Your best route is to go through Nevada and make your way through the Midwest, from Utah, Wyoming, South Dakota and Iowa. Then you’ll hit the east coast. We don’t have a lot of recent scans of the east coast due to the Timefall in the region, there’s a satellite town just at the boarder of Illinois and Indiana. You can find new gear and supplies there. You’ll have access to any UCA backed facilities throughout your trip.” Amelia is precise. “Once you get to the east, you’ll encounter Capital Knot City. They will direct you to the whereabouts of the research facility with the samples you’re looking for.” She gestures to Capital Knot City and the surrounding area. “The facility you’re looking for is called P-001-A, or its nickname Atlantis.”

“So, we’re going to where this all started then” You’re voice even startles you. You were not meant to say that out loud. All eyes were back to you. “Sorry” you say sheepishly.

Amelia takes a long look at you before replying. “Yes, this is the hypothesize birthplace of the first BT. Or thought to be where the first pieces of data was collected” Now you feel a headache forming. “I’m surprised you know about this” Her usual pleasantly airy voice is replaced with a firmer tone.

“Well- While researching for my paper. I.…I came across some files of the research they were doing into rise of deaths during childbirth at the time. They all came from that facility. There were documents linking the facility with the hospital that had the first voidout.” The more you spoke, your anxiety worsened. They stared at you like you where on trial. “What ever they did there, resulted in the creation of the first BT.”

No one spoke for a few moments. It felt like hours.

“So, you understand why this mission is so important.” Amelia was now standing before you. Her sky-blue eyes peering into yours. She looked like she was pleading with you. “You need to get those samples. I know this is a lot to ask, but I don’t know anyone better suited for this then you. After what you’ve been though.”

Now it was your turn to become rigid. Voice hardened. “You have no idea what I’ve been through” Neither of you back down.

Heartman calls your name, your gaze tears away from the blond woman to your friend beside you. Compassion clear on his face. “Alright. I’m sorry.” You force out an apology.

Amelia says nothing but her eyes soften. She turns away from you. “I have a porter suit ready for you.” Out of the wall, opens a glass cabinet. There a brand-new suit stands tall. Similar to Neils, but it’s a dark blue in contrast to his dark green one. It’s smaller and more refined. Must be a new model. “It’s fitted with the most up to date systems. You’ll be protected from timefall and moderate damage. It may protect you more than older suits, but I would not suggest taking any treks up any steep cliffs.”

You step forward, the glass door opens. You reach out to feel the navy fabric and the cool metal of the mechanics. “Thank you Ma’am.” You stop for a second, heat building on your face. How are you supposed to put this damn thing on? Relief washed over you when you saw a gloved hand appear beside you, but it was short lived when you saw it was Neil. He started to take it apart, placing pieces onto your body in a timely fashion. Your widened eyes stare up at him. He’s taller than you.

“Here.” His voice was short. Each belt and facet were tied. You watched as he went through the suit meticulously. His jade green eyes were focused on your body. He stood so close to you, you could hear the calm breath from his nose. His expression of attentive, clear on the task at hand. At this distance, you really noticed how delicate his features are. The little tuft of dark brown hair swept across his brow, heavy eyebrows and dark thick lashes framed his face. A Scruffy, days old beard adorned his pale olive toned skin. A dark bandana wrapped around his neck.

Now that you were really looking at him.

He was beautiful.

No

No no, Fuck no.

The tips of your ears started to burn; you could feel the heat make its way onto your cheeks. Your breath quickened. That anxious feeling engulfed your chest. Ok, get a hold of yourself. It’s been a while since you’ve had a man this attractive this close to you. Your body is reacting naturally. That’s it. Jesus, you’re going to melt in this suit.

You avert your eyes to anywhere that isn’t Neil’s face. Which was difficult because his was a few centimeters away from your own increasingly warm face. He seemed to notice, you could see out of your peripheral that he tilts towards where you’ve settled your gaze. His dark think brow raised in confusion.

“Are you ok?” He said softly, his big eyes scanned your face. There's that accent. He had to be European. You do not have a thing for accents, so stop it.

“Eh-Yeah, yeah, Fine. Thanks” You reply quickly. Taking a larger step then you intended back. Turning away from him to face the others again. You probably look so red right now. Heartman was staring, there was a slight curl to his lip. That bastard.

“One last thing” This time it was the Agent who spoke. “Can’t have you two leave with out this.” The man pressed his hand to a control panel on the wall next to him. The floor beside him opened, a black box raised from the ground. It opened slowly; you could feel the cold mist coming from the container. Your eyes widened.

It revealed a bright orange BB unit.

You tentatively take a step towards it. There it was a small baby in the glass case. Leaning down to get a better look, they twist suddenly. You pull back slightly. Then, their little eyes open to meet your own. Getting closer, a slight smile reaches your face. They’re so small. Their little hands press against the glass towards you. Now they have a smile on their little face.

“Aren’t you just the cutest” you say quietly to yourself, as you touch the glass with your finger. Meeting their outstretched hand. You’ve seen BB units before, but not this close. You don’t notice those intense green eyes staring at you the whole time.

“Mr Vana, we’re giving you access to BB-21. I assume you know how to use it.” Agent sleazy directs his complete attention to Neil. His eyes rip away from you to meet the other mans.

“Yes, I’ve used one before”

“Excellent” You stand straight, eyes darting between the two men. There’s a knowing looking shared there. These two definitely know each other.

The man picks up the BB unit, the jostle causing the baby to cry slightly. You wince. Can he not practically throw them around like that? The urge to run and grab them was strong.

Agent Asshole then places the BB unit into the space on Neil’s chest. Neil holds the unit gently as he places the cord in the bottom. Twisting it until a click is heard. His suit comes to life, the clicking of the odradek sensor attached to his shoulder blinks wildly. Neil himself winces in pain, but steels himself like it never happened.

“The path you will follow is already installed into your suits.” Ameila calls to you. “Here’s the case for your samples” She hands you a small black case, it’s a similar shape and size to the BB. This time it’s Heartman’s turn to speak. “When you open it, you’ll find 13 vials. That should be enough to collect your samples. If you need anymore, you’ll have to go to research stations to find them, but not all of them will supply the ones you need.”

Heartman looks at his watch. “Well, it’s my time to go. Don’t be a stranger.” You smirk at him.

“When we rock up, you better have a cup of tea ready for me.”

“I’ll also bring out the scones and sandwiches…... Good luck.” With that final grin. He was gone; his disappearance really set in that this is it. You’re on your own now.

Amelia looks ahead to the clear sky. She looks forlorn. You speak quietly “I just hope you think this is worth it.”

She doesn’t look at you. “You’re work can save millions of lives. You know that”

But you’re too late to save the one person you needed it to.