🛇UTVISIBL⊗G

do you think churches have bells to give angels wings or is that just a happy coincidence

if turtles didn't have shells they would be total perverts

every dog has its day. that day is september 21st, famously made into a song by earth, wind & fire.

when god closes a door, he opens a window. that is really irresponsible, and now there are tons of wasps in my apartment.

there's no real way to prove that ancient egyptian pharaohs didn't create jazz music

Snidely Whiplash was an incel, sure, but damn could he tie a knot

it's probably not socially acceptable to kiss a bus driver on the mouth, but if you do it at your bus stop you can get away with it

you can hide in any public restroom for as long as you want if you have a mop

I googled "free radicals" and it was way less punk rock than i was imagining

it should be illegal to talk to other people on the street

sometimes I think gravity is just the earth wanting a hug