Out of Context RPG quotes (NSFW edition)

Oh ho!

Take a seat kiddies, it’s story time! Some NSFW content follows.

“Why yes, Mr. Fey, I’ll stay in your cave.” He beckoned me in with a wink and a wave. His skin may’ve been gold but his balls were blue, Bow chikka bowow, giggity goo.

His first problem solved, we moved on to the next: The issue of his curse–some form of hex. We visited a wizard to discover the source, After a few more visits to his cave, of course.

“Please remove his curse!” I began to pout. I didn’t have enough gold, but we worked something out… At last, it was vanquished–his curse gone for good. I wasted no time and went back to his wood. (heh)

Background is that we’re in a town filled with goat people, they hunt drakes on these giant birds and we saw them kill one and them salvage the whole body in the middle of town. Currently we plan to leave due to an Orc raid on its way and we are buying provisions

GM: “You see a goatman selling a giant red nut.”

Me: “We saw these goat people kill a giant drake right? So is it a nut or is it a testicle?”

GM: “Well uh it’s a nut.”

ME: “BUT IS IT A TESTICLE?!”

Hydromancer: “If we buy two does it come with a free sack?”

Druid: “I’m gonna bury that nut so deep in the earth.”

Gypsy: “How lumpy are these nuts? Should I get them checked?”

Hydromancer: “Damn, this merchant’s nuts are pretty cheap.”

Me: “Careful there, you don’t wanna bust a nut.”

Gigantic dungeon leads to a gigantic chest. The dungeon almost killed us, so before we opened it, we voted on what amazing thing it could be.

Intra: It’s probably a magic chastity belt!

DM:  Alright, you’ve been restrained by the monster. You can no longer attack until you escape.

Sorceress: Wait, wait, is my foot free?

DM: Uh… yes?

Sorceress: Can I try to shoot a fireball out of my foot?

DM: …Fine. Roll a d20.

Sorceress: *rolls a 1* Shit.

DM: Roll to confirm.

Sorceress: *rolls a 20* Um– What now?

Quite a few people requested some form of trait/personality generator, and here’s the result!  I wanted to keep it vague enough that the options could work for any universe, be it modern, fantasy, scifi, or anything else, so these are really just the basics. Remember that a character is much more than a list of traits, and this should only be used as a starting point– I tried to include a variety of things, but further development is definitely a must.

Could pair well with the gender and sexuality generator.