sweeter than fiction

On the day of the show itself I was a nervous wreck. I’d been waiting for 10 months, which felt like a long time and no time at all. If we really wanted to get technical, I’ve been wanting to meet Dan and Phil since 2016. But then Dan revealed that they tried to bring TATINOF to Manila but failed, so I thought I’d never get the chance.

Meeting Dan and Phil was such a wonderful but weird out-of-body experience. For months, I discussed with my friends about what I’d tell them, what gifts to bring, what clothes to wear, what poses to do for our photos. But no matter how prepared I was, everything was shot to hell when it was my turn. The only way I could describe it is overwhelming. No matter how long I’d watched them online, it was nothing like seeing them move and hearing them talk in front of me in real life. The image of them staring at me, waiting for me to say something is something that’s gonna be imprinted in my brain forever, probably. They’re so attentive! And they look you dead in the eyes when you talk to them! It’s great that they do but AAAAAAAAAAA?? Was the only thing running through my head in the moment.

I told them that I’ve been waking up at 4 am for the past 4 years just to watch their videos and liveshows and they were like :o and I mentioned that despite that, I graduated from university last May. They congratulated me, sweet boys. And Dan mentioned his usual spiel of getting through university further than he did. I also thanked them for doing an entire tour just to come to Manila and giving me the opportunity to meet them, and they thanked me for supporting them. I also thanked them at least 10 times.

Also, they’re actual trees. Big, sturdy trees. I’m 5’3”, so I definitely looked like a dwarf next to them but not only are they tall, they’re broad. Like seriously. When I hugged them I could barely get my arms around their shoulders. And I didn’t get to smell them because I think I quite literally forgot how to breathe. Oops.

I asked them to sign a poster that had lyrics from Taylor Swift’s Long Live and some of their tweets to me, including a screencap of one making it to Dan’s 2017 memes video. He called it iconic.

By now everyone knows that there were originally two dates for II Manila, but on September 1st, Phil mentioned that they had to be merged into one single show because of logistical issues. The ticket I’d originally bought was for the September 12 show, which was the one that got axed. This means that my seat was relocated from row 2 to row 20.

Well – when I got there I honestly knew I didn’t want to sit in row 20. I wanted to experience the show up close. Not only because I have bad eyesight but also because it was my last opportunity to see them that up close for the unforeseeable future. And then I noticed that in the VIP area, there were a lot of empty seats. Particularly – in the very front row, where more than half of the seats were unoccupied. So when Welcome to the Black Parade started playing and I was sure that there were no more people coming in through the doors, I got my seatmate to move up to front row with me, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made in my entire life. At one point we ran up to the stage to touch Dan’s ‘hair’ and he gave us fake hair!! It was wild.

The show itself was fucking nuts. Partly because the crowd in Manila was absolutely deafening, mostly because Dan and Phil really know how to put on a great performance. I didn’t go into it completely spoiler-free, but most of the spoilers I’d seen I tried my best to not know the context to. Well. Having all of those spoilers pieced together was an experience. When I say I my soul left my body when I finally found out why ‘super best friends and soulmates’ and ‘I’d do anything for you, Phil’ was in the script, I wasn’t kidding. My favorite segments from the show were Wholesome Howell/X-Rated Lester, the sacrifice, Dan vs Phil, and the songs at the end. Screaming ‘Watch out bitch!!’ along with Phil was the single best moment of the entire show for me.

It’s been 2 days since my show, and all I can say is I miss them. I miss them with every fiber of my being and I would do anything to see them again. But I’ve read that they mentioned the Manila crowd during their show in Singapore, so I think it’s safe to say they miss us too. And that’s the one thing I really wanted out of this entire experience – to give Dan and Phil a show they would never forget. Manila was the reason the tour was formed in the first place, and I’m so happy to know we met their expectations.

Thanks for never giving up on Manila. Thanks for the happiest day of my entire life. I’m going to love you knuckleheads forever, if you don’t mind. @danielhowell @amazingphil