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I only started reading fanfics about them because Ash will be away for 10 days and I know I won't be okay without seeing them together (Ewron is saving us by mentioning Ash all the time), so I'm kind of grateful to have had that immediate break from fanfics when QSMP started because now I have content of theirs to read while they're not together for now. I'm even thinking about rereading some of my favorite fics from other fandoms.

also in every fanfic I read, I just keep thinking, "He wouldn't do that," "He wouldn't say that," or "What beating heart?" lol. That last one is funnier because, technically, he *did* have a heart when those fics were written, but in my head, I forgot that Ghosty only handed over the heart after the altar was built XD Or—and this is what I believe—perhaps he never had a heart from the moment he set foot on the island, and the heart we have was with the Federation.

But so far, my instincts haven't let me down, and I haven't read any fic where I thought, "Wow, this is all wrong." Some shared my view that q!Ash would be more delicate during intimate moments—even if q!Ewron wanted something else—while others gave me new perspectives to consider; for instance, the idea that q!Ewron would totally use a kiss as a distraction to change the subject—it’s so him, yet I’d never really thought about it before.

Wait—Σ(°ロ°)—while writing this, I decided to check my history and realized that, coincidentally, all the fanfics were relatively new; most were from June, with a few from May or April. I was surprised because I’d just clicked on the fics without using the tag system—relying only on the summaries and tags—and in other fandoms, the older fics usually appeared at the top, so I hadn't expected to pick out the recent ones.

Where do I begin? I feel like there are some very obvious things I want to talk about and point out, but I don't know how to put them together in a way that makes sense, so you'll have to try your best. I'm also writing this in Portuguese and using a translator to translate it into English, so some things might get lost in translation. I'll start with something very obvious: they spent the whole day discussing something that isn't very out of the ordinary for them, but this time I feel like something was different.

I will follow the chronological order of events, but there might be some errors!

Let's start with something out of character they did, which was them discussing the balconys in each room and Ewron saying how his was bigger and better than Ash's. Watching the discussion, there's nothing particularly special about it (I'll be honest and say that from the moment Ewron mentioned Jeff Bezos, I muted it), but if you notice, they kind of gave a spoiler for what would happen a few hours later today. In the mini-scene they did out of character, just discussing, Ewron is a millionaire who doesn't care that his balcony is dirty because he has other people to clean it for him (ironically, that's what happens; even if something happens to Ewron, he always tries to find people to clean up his messes one way or another; the difference is that things always get worse for him when he does this). And in this scene, Ash is a simple janitor who works for Ewron and is mistreated by him. He spits in his face and sees no value in Ash's life, refusing a raise even though Ash's family is in bad shape (very befitting with reality lol) and giving an excuse saying that he can't increase the salary and that these are times of crisis and Ash should feel grateful to even have a job, and then he tells Ash to talk to an assistant of another assistant of another lower assistant to talk to a higher assistant who will refuse Ash's request blah blah but what I want to take away from this story is that in a way it kinda references how qAsh will be treated as a servant by qEwron in front of Dark Cucurucho, as someone inferior, someone who is not seen as a life but as an object, a weapon to be used by qEwron who is a loyal soldier to Dark Cucurucho and the funniest thing is that the OOC scene ends with Ash killing Ewron who only had half a heart and after what happened in the Nether qAsh goes and almost kills qEwron, obviously the story is just a joke they made there at the moment because of the discussion about the size of their balconys and that apart from these small references what happens with qAsh and qEwron is different I just wanted to point it ou because I found the coincidence funny.

Now, speaking more in character about what happened to our beloveds qAsh and qEwron, seriously, there's so much to say that I really don't know what to say or where to begin.

qEwron: why do you hate federation so much?

qAsh: that's a great question, maybe i just don't wanna tell you

From Ash's point of view, the reason is obvious, but from Ewron's perspective, it's seen as if he doesn't fully trust qEwron (which is correct in a way). But actually, the biggest reason why he doesn't talk about it is because he remembers almost nothing of his past, and he's already mentioned having vague memories to qEwron. Trying to recall something his brain has forgotten due to the amount of stress and trauma induced isn't easy or comfortable, we all know that qAsh pushes away and represses these memories using drugs and alcohol, and it's very likely we'll see that in his next stream again.

Whenever qEwron brings up the argument that he revived Ghosty and gave a part of himself to emotionally manipulate qAsh, I always roll my eyes because, as qMulti always say, "it's all qEwron's fault" because qAsh never wanted to revive Ghosty; he always saw her death as freedom, that she wouldn't have to go through the suffering that this island and the Federation bring, and wouldn't be trapped in the hole or threatened with death by the people who hate qAsh or The Regime. She would be able to be in a better place without worrying about these things. But qEwron insisted on the suggestion, saying that he felt very guilty about what happened and wanted to repay qAsh in some way. qAsh refused many times, mainly because qEwron said that since he had performed these rituals in the past, he knew that it always took a part of himself or gave something in exchange for the person, and qAsh didn't want Ghosty to return with the price of qEwron being in danger or having a part of himself missing, since he is an important person that qAsh had a solidified plan with from day one and the person he trusted the most. But in the end, after so much insistence, he ended up accepting and letting qEwron resurrect her. Therefore, qEwron using the fact that he brought Ghosty back to life is a useless argument because qAsh never wanted that; he only followed the plan because of qEwron's insistence. Obviously, qAsh felt relieved that day when Ghosty was revived because it was the only good news that day after The Regime had fallen apart and his trust had been betrayed by the person he considered family. It was such good news that just seeing a picture of her made him decide to throw away his diamond knife, calming his self-harming tendencies and relieving him. He was even happy that she had "escaped" the church, that it was supposed to be seen as bad news by qEwron, because she would be free which is what he always wanted. (Obviously, anyone who knows Ghosty's story knows that this moment of freedom didn't last long... and that she was trapped on the altar in the church's basement.)I believe that qEwron sees Ghosty's resurrection as something that qAsh should be grateful for, not only because he risked his life (which was his own fault), but because Ghosty, with her tasks, was the reason they grew closer and began to trust each other more, to the point of not being able to keep tasks that were supposed to be secret from each other. And when he says he sacrificed a part of himself, he's not just making it clear that he would sacrifice himself completely for qAsh (as has been said in many ways many times), but also referring to it as something that brought them together. Basically, what I'm saying is that if qEwron wants to use the resurrection to manipulate qAsh emotionally, he shouldn't use as something bad that he himself brought upon himself, but rather what qAsh values ​​most: their bond becoming stronger because of this action.

I'll use some of the posts from my OOMF because she have opinions similar to mine and highlight small details that I don't notice.

I know it's not a good time and that qAsh is clearly right not to trust qEwron after what happened, but I always felt that qAsh didn't have the same level of trust in qEwron as qEwron had in him because no matter what happened, especially today when he suspected that qEwron was always telling him the truth, he always seemed to see qEwron telling small lies that are obvious to recognize as a sign that he wasn't telling the truth when he talked about qAsh being the only person he didn't lie to. (I want to add more but I'm still thinking how)

(Regarding qEwron running away today) Something I hate as a viewer because it disrupts the conversation, but love as lore, is one of qEwron's flaws: running away in the middle of his fights with qAsh. This serves as a signal for qAsh to realize that qEwron is just very agitated and exaggerating things at the moment, and it makes him stop and retrace all his steps in his mind to figure out what might be the reason qEwron ran away before trying to talk to him again.

qEwron is screaming in pain for qAsh but receiving nothing in return because qAsh is in shock but also following orders to remain silent like a servant (deserved 😋)

qEwron: i gave a part of myself to resurrect your daughter, and now you're like "omg, i don't know if i would give-" i would give everything!

Oh babe the miscommunication... The problem is not the heart but being seen as below someone and only viewed as object/weapon. This is something they WILL have to talk about, even though it's a sensitive topic for qAsh, not his heart, but why he doesn't like being seen as inferior. It's closely tied to his past with the Federation, which he'll also have to tell qEwron if he wants things to move forward. The problem is that with the amulet, qEwron will probably take advantage of any information about qAsh's past, and that will only break the trust even more than restore it. Also, he's once again emphasizing that he would give anything for qAsh 🥹 (or for power...)

qAsh not wanting to say to qEwron why he deeply hates the federation