When I was 8, I woke up in the middle of the night to the sight of a stranger standing in the middle of my bedroom (that I shared with my other sisters).
I thought I was just seeing things…like when your stuffed animals form a shape that looks like a person or something.
And then they turned around. And walked towards me.
Despite all the hypothetical situations I’d placed myself in when it came to horror movies, I did not in fact: scream, call for help, kick wildly and fight back, or run away.
The stranger just kept getting closer and cLOSER AND CLOSER
until they were breathing on my face
and right when I thought they were going to murder me, they opened their mouth and said,
“Are your brothers here?”
Turns out, this stranger was a friend of my brothers.
However, instead of being a normal, sensible human being who would wait until morning and then calmly knock on the front door of our home to be let in, he decided to CLIMB INTO OUR BROKEN WINDOW AT 5 AM.
All because he wanted to ask my brothers if they had any pot.
Thanks, weed. You almost gave me a heart attack.
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