⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

Art about hyperfixations.

I think this topic is familiar to many people, most have experienced hyperfixations.

Two years ago on Tumblr, I came across an artist’s account. I really loved their drawings, their style, their presentation, their ideas!! They drew the things I loved, the things I liked! I started diving deeper into their account and found their comic. That comic immediately set my heart on fire, I loved everything about it, just like their other art. The concept, the presentation, the visuals, the story. That comic captivated me. I started looking up to this artist, I want to be like them. To have the same perspectives, to draw the same kinds of ideas... I admire this person, and my fanaticism hasn’t faded. And it probably won’t, as long as this artist stays active online and keeps posting.

But what’s so bad about that? After all, it’s normal to find someone you idolize and look up to them. The thing is, like many people with hyperfixations, I tend to feel shame about my “obsession.” I often draw fan art of this person, I frequently comment on their posts and shower them with compliments, and I feel incredibly embarrassed about it, like I’m being clingy or invading their personal space, even though they’re just normal comments... This person doesn’t react to any of it, and they don’t have to!! But that feeling of silence... I feel so ashamed in front of them because of my fanaticism. I can’t just stop thinking about their comic or their work in general, and I can’t stop showering them with compliments because I want them to know just how damn amazing they are!! And that someone truly finds them interesting!! But it seems like they don’t need or want fanaticism, they run their accounts purely as a hobby, not chasing popularity.

I hope I don’t come across as TOO cringey in their eyes, I genuinely feel bad if I did anything wrong with my fanaticism...