This Glass Darkly

☦️🦊🌞🌿🐝🥧🦋🐦🍯🍞🪺🌝🫖🏳️‍⚧️🍂🐞🍓🪻☦️

Hello friends! Peace be unto you! 

My name is Hilaria, I’m a genderqueer trans girl raised in the hills and hollers of Appalachia. Currently, I live with my partner, our children, and our dog. 

Having been raised in an extremely abusive household where religion was used as a weapon to keep my quiet and obedient, I was overjoyed to find the beauty of an inclusive Holy Orthodoxy. I was overwhelmed by the mercy of the true Jesus who extends love to all. Slowly He began to heal my wounded heart. I also discovered a queer Orthodox community where I was welcomed and began the journey of realizing the queer woman God made me to be. 

Here you will find the love of Jesus Christ expressed in queer community. Here in the icons and the incense, you will find the truth of inclusive Orthodoxy. Here in the chant that echoes across the hills and the hollers, I hope you will find rest.  

I present my version of the Pansexual Lesbian/Panbian flag (with alternate T4T version). The flag maybe used by anyone who likes the label. For me, being a pansexual lesbian means that, although I experience sexual and romantic attraction to people regardless of gender, I actively seek out and am primarily attracted to femine-aligned people and relate to partners in a sapphic way. The inclusion of the T4T chevron denotes that I am attracted to, and wish to have relationships with, other trans people exclusively.

The flag is inspired by the 7 stripe "Sunset Lesbian" flag created by Emily Gwen in 2018 as well as the Pansexual flag created by Jasper V in 2010 with changes in shade made for aesthrtic purposes. Although the flag prioritizes those who express some form of femininity in their gender, it does not exclude masculine-aligned people and they should feel welcome to use this label and flag. This flag also celebrates each person interpreting "masculine" and "feminine" however they choose.

Red-Orange: Masculinity outside of patriarchical gender norms

Orange: Independence from patriarchal sexual norms/Rejection of compulsory heterosexuality

Yellow: Attraction to gender nonconforming/expansive people (genderqueer, nonbinary, genderfluid, etc)

White: Uniqueness of sapphic relationships

Magenta: Attraction to feminine-aligned people

Rose: Celebration of intimacy (romantic or otherwise, sexual or otherwise) outside of cishetero norms.

Violet: Femininity outside of patriarchal gender norms

The T4T version includes the chevron designed by PJ Goff in 2021. According to Goff, the color symbolism is as follows:

Blue: The depth of love, connection,, and commitment between trans people

Pink: The intensity of love and passion trans people have for themselves

White Triangle: Strength of the solidarity of the trans community has to move forward together to a better future

This season invites us to continue the tradition of the indigenous people of this land, to pause and reflect on the gifts of life, love, and community. As many of us journey—casseroles nestled between knees, pies precariously cradled in gloved hands—to gather with relatives, friends, and found family, let us take a moment to offer thanks to God for the abundance we’ve received.

Even in these uncertain times, we are reminded that Christ is with us, offering hope and peace. In a message commemorating the holiday, our Metropolitan John-Gregory reflected on Saint Paul's encouragement to the Thessalonian church to "Give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). These words call us to cultivate gratitude, to hold thanks in our hearts even when the road is difficult, trusting that God's presence is steadfast.

Today, as we gather around tables to share food and fellowship with those closest to us, let us give thanks for the blessings we hold dear: the warmth of community, the gift of faith, and the joy of knowing Christ, who walks with us through every season.

May this day be one of rest, reflection, and renewal. Together, may our spirits be kindled by the sacred sparks of gratitude and grace, lifting our hearts in thanksgiving to the One who is with us always, even to the end of the age.

Many blessings in Christ,

-Hilaria

Hey friends, I've kept a pretty tight lid on this until all the ducks were in a row, but I have some exciting news. I have been accepted as a postulant for Holy Orders in The Convergent Catholic Connexion of Saint Maria Skobtsova, an inclusive and affirming faith community practicing in the Eastern Orthodox tradition.

My sincerest thanks go to my spiritual director, my sponsors, my bishop, and Metropolitan for supporting me and affirming my call to ministry. Those of you who know me well know this has been a long and complex journey, but such is the will of God. That said, God willing, I will be a priest in Christ's Holy Apostolic Church. For friends who pray, I covet your prayers. For those who do not, I cherish your good thoughts and well-wishes. I am beyond excited to step into this new journey and I cannot wait to continue ministering to my queer siblings of faith.

εἰρήνη ὑμῖν, peace be with you!

My dear friends and siblings,

I am sorry for my extended absence. I have been dealing with a horde of difficult things in my personal life recently. That said, this morning many of us woke up to a world of fear and uncertainty. Many of us are terrified of what's coming. Many of us are lost and unsure of what to do.

Please rest assured that I am here if you need someone to talk to. If you are considering fleeing your state or the country and don't know where to start, I can help point you in the right direction. If you want to stay in your current red state and fight, I will help you.

Remember that we queer folx have always been here. We were here before Nazi Germany. We were here before Stonewall. We were here before the Reagan administration and the AIDS crisis. We will be here four years from now, ten years from now, a hundred years from now. The important thing now is to build community.

If you live in a red state and can't leave, find a blue county or city. If you're trapped, go online. Message three other queer people, tell them your name, make sure at least three other people know you exist. This is the start of community. We must band together and help each other.

Hello all! Excited to announce that the first virtual coffee hour organized by Holy Protection is this Saturday from 3-4PM Eastern.

This is a great opportunity to fellowship with other queer Christians in a safe and affirming space. The format for coffee hour is fairly simple. Attempting to mirror the in person after-liturgy coffee hour vibe found at most parishes, we blend support and study, providing a space for affirming and inclusive Orthodox Christians, seekers, and allies to come together for fellowship, learning, and spiritual conversation.

For many LGBTQ+ individuals and progressive Orthodox Christians, finding supportive and accepting communities can be challenging. Our Coffee Hour aims to bridge this gap, offering a welcoming environment where you can connect, heal, and build a sense of community, regardless of your geographic location.

Join us at the link below: