𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜

he chewed on this inside of his cheek, bad habit. kylian’s teasing was a clear reminder as to why mordred liked him so much. he made his daunting life seem less-so, and if there had to be suffering, kylian would gladly be there with him. making the pain subside with the sound of his voice. how sweet, the voice was wispy, airy and all around terrifying, or would be if mordred still felt terrified by them. it was a rare occasion where he would be. ❛ shut it. ❜ he said both to kylian and to the haunt, fight back a smile that teased his lips. smile for him, he told himself. for him, you can do it for him. it wont hurt.

there was a pause in the air,    and it wasn't so much of the lack of sound then it was the weight of it.   mordred didn't know that bringing up 'she' who he rarely named was almost like allowing a separate entity to exist between them,    because she would always lead mordred's mind back to the child he tried to forget he had in order to forgot the pain.   there were layers to this man that kylian had come to love exploring.   this particular story of his life was always a bit dreary.   the woman left a harsh bitterness at the end of everything mordred said.   he didn't even realize how much she left an imprint she left.   the same way fingers left a bruise if you held on too long.   still,    kylian was grateful for that secret hint of a smile.

𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗄𝗒𝗅𝗂𝖺𝗇 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗆𝗈𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗐𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗋𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗁𝗂𝗆, 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝗐𝖺𝗒… 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖻𝖺𝖽𝗅𝗒 𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗍. 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗌𝗂𝗆𝗉𝗅𝗒 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝖾𝗇𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁. he gripped his hand closed tighter, leaving crescent moon shapes in the palm of his hands, trying to remain calm, but kylian could always see through him. he looked around to the spirits that surrounded him, some grabbing hold of him, digging their claws into his skin. ❛ yeah, they’ve been on edge more lately. dunno why. ❜ he gave a light shrug and stood to his feet.

kylian glanced around mordred once more, like he could see their ghastly silhouettes looming over his friend like sickly obsessed fans. ❛ at least they still look normal. ❜ he teased, hoping to see mordred's naturally solemn expression flicker a small bit of joy like a dying light bulb. despite all the shit nestled in their chest like a rotting infection, they managed together better than they did apart. kylian preferred mordred's company over the absence of it. he would never admit how lonely he had been before meeting mordred. he didn't need to say anything damning out loud, he could get what he felt a crossed without complicating it with the narrow confinements of words.

“I’m only half here. I’m only half wicked, and half of me is down there with you, clean and bright and crystal-clear as running water…”

𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐. . . 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐. there were times mordred wished he could scream until they all dissipated, but inside he let the rage and discomfort build up inside of him until he was ready to explode. he balled his hands into a fist to stop the nervous tics. with kylian the noise building in his head seemed to soften, he tried to focus on his voice, on his presence, there were many spirits surrounding mordred that seemed to fear kylian,  demons too. kylian was one of the kindest souls mordred had the pleasure of knowing , even though others would be quick to disagree.

𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞— 𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 '𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥' 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬. 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠. kylian felt he was rather the same in that way. no mask to guard what should just be said. kylian groped through pockets for a light and leaned against mordred's desk, slipping the cigar passed his lips before he lit it up. kylian could feel the presence of the spirits, but he could never see them unless he slipped into the seam. inside the seam they looked as they once were before they passed on. he didn't know why they bothered sticking around when their time was done. if the clock stopped for him, he'd want to move on to whatever was next. 

𝗈𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗇 𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗅𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗋𝗎𝗍𝗁𝖿𝗎𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝖿𝗈𝖼𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗏𝗈𝗂𝖼𝖾𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗉𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝗂𝗆. he'd barely been listening to kylian when he started to speak. wife... ex-wife.   his ears perked at that and he sniffed, a sign that he was growing uncomfortable with the topic. he had tried to avoid his personal relationship, or lack of it. he and his ex-wife had been estranged for as long as mordred could remember. trying to hold onto a loveless marriage took its toll on both of them, and in the end it came crumbling down when their son disappeared. mordred tapped his pen against his desk nervously and opened a drawer, pulling a cigar box, cigar cutter and lighter from it. his eyes lift to find kylians, trying to find his place of comfort.

𝐤𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 — 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬. 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧. the thing with bringing up the wife as a device. to pull him from his thoughts was rather cruel—but it needed to be addressed or kylian would sit on it too long until it became some sort of dirty secret. he hated keeping secrets from mordred. aside from wanting to feel that closeness, that full trust—he knew those dead bastards would tell him eventually in a vague way that made it sound ten times worse than it actually was. kylian tapped absently on his mouth with the tip of his index finger.