Welcome to my Collection of Moments

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Then bring me luck

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

The deep but subtle difference between "giving you the cold shoulder" and actively keeping my mouth shut cause I wanna keep having this relationship later

my burden from God is that sometimes someone calls me a dumb selfish bitch and I have to choose between 1. Say nothing and seem petty 2. Say nothing and look like a pushover 3. Say nothing and seem sensitive and 4. Open my mouth and say something horrific like this sort of inability to handle your frustrations without lashing out at others is exactly what your mother used to do to you and maybe that's why everyone you've ever loved has left you, exactly like how you left her, and how does it feel for thirty years to pass you by and still be exactly where she started, exactly as miserable and alone, with no significant progress despite the time, just one long thread of unpleasant and unlikable people that never fuckin change and that last one only feels good for like. A minute

Every engine failure is "unpredictable" and "random" if you've taped over the Check Engine light.

Kinda wish I could put on a mask like that. Instead I fall apart daily.

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

This post is from 2013. It has less than 100 notes. Together we can revive this work of art that tragically ahead of its time. We’re ready for it now