Offering a counterpoint to some of the smooth/suave Solas metas out there today, because I have a somewhat different understanding - both based upon the canon material we have and what, to me, is essential to correct/refine about the canon in my own writing.
My understanding of Solas is that he is essentially Castiglione’s ideal courtier. He loves the intrigue of Orlesian politics because it is very similar to the politicking he learned in Elvhenan. The goal is to be helpful, complimentary, and - above all else - entertaining to those in power, and to do this with sprezzatura (i.e. in a manner which makes all the effort that goes into being charming and helpful and entertaining seem effortless).
The goal of successful courtiers is proximity to the ruler. Proximity means you have the ruler’s ear, and thus can persuade favors for friends and family, and have the chance (and responsibility) to steer your ruler toward correct and moral leadership.
Solas can feel the way the wind is blowing when the Herald wakes up. He immediately identifies who will be the main source of power because he has so much practice in this sort of environment. He tries to be helpful, charming, and clever. He schmoozes.
With a romanced Lavellan, he also compliments and engages in word play. He tells her he loves her. Again, these elements are all common to courtiers who wish to gain the favor of women rulers - it is, for example, the type of environment that was eventually turned against Anne Boelyn to accuse her of infidelity. But the love of a courtier to his mistress is meant to be chaste - he can write as many poems as he wants about her, profess his love to her, etc. - but of course he does not expect to actually sleep with her or rule beside her.
This is a problem for Solas. Of course Lavellan doesn’t know these conventions. She has no knowledge of the inner workings of any of the courts of Thedas (and of the ones we’ve seen in great detail, only Orlais seems to have anything of this political structure). Lavellan doesn’t know the steps to the dance Solas has initiated, so she responds in earnest.
Has he ever experienced that before? Has he ever had a friendship or relationship (with someone who isn’t a spirit) that wasn’t essentially transactional in nature? Obviously it’s impossible to say with the lore we currently have, but I think it’s an important question to ask given what Solas tells us of the political dynamics of Elvhenan.
So, for me, when I’m trying to divine Solas’ fundamental character, beneath all the sprezzatura, I’m looking at scenes where the courtier falters. This happens in basically two scenarios. The first is with a low approval Inquisitior, where Solas refuses to pretend he agrees with viewpoints that he believes are harmful or unethical. There are limits to what Solas is willing to do to gain power within the Inquisition, and unreservedly backing an Inquisitor who he believes will do more harm than good is one of them.
The second scenario is the romance. I would argue that we see his courtier act drop in each of the romance scenes, but most noticeably in Crestwood and Trespasser.
Here’s the thing: Being a great courtier is, in many ways, about being a great liar (or maybe a great actor if you want to be more charitable). You are on stage every moment of your life - not just when you’re in the public eye but often in private moments as well. You are “on” at every moment of the day. It’s an exhausting existence. So when you let that facade drop - as Solas does in the romance - it happens either because you cannot help yourself, or because you want someone to see the “real” you. I think you can interpret Solas’ motivations either way (or both ways).
But anyway, getting back to my initial point of why I think suave Solas is a product of life as a courtier versus who he truly is: If we believe that everything he shows to us as a courtier is a carefully constructed fiction, then we need to look at the moments where he can no longer be the courtier to find the truth.
What I see in those scenes is a person who is not confident but deeply afflicted with self-doubt that often becomes self-hatred. I see a person who has never made a decision in his life without second guessing it and, usually, immediately regretting it. I see someone who is very, very clever but very, very terrified that the mask will slip and people will see how hard he is working to make it look so effortless.
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