THE MOTHER OF ALL

“you forgot to take the trash out again.”

“do you think we should just order in tonight?”

“what’s the point of making the bed if we’re just gonna mess it up?”

“will you pick up your clothes? it’s like a pig-sty in here.”

“you cooked, it’s only fair that i clean.”

“i haven’t shaved in like a week.”

“let me run you a bath.”

“you used all the hot water.”

“oh come on, i just cleaned the kitchen!”

“can you stop using my bath bombs? they’re expensive.”

“dinner was ready a half hour ago.”

“you cooked me dinner?”

“i had to carry you to bed last night, you were exhausted.”

“do you even know how to load a dishwasher?”

“your red sock turned all my whites pink.”

“what’s with the hat? are you having a bad hair day?”

“we’ve spent too much on pay per view this month.”

“are you watching porn?”

“next time it’s your turn to do the dishes.”

“my parents are coming over for dinner tomorrow.”

Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure

Looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll

Looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you

Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll

Looks like they could kill you and could actually kill you

Could kill you, but is still a cinnamon roll

Would kill for a cinnamon roll