Farmer: Emily, how do I get revenge on the people who have wronged me?
Emily: The best revenge is letting go and living well!
Farmer:
Farmer: Haley, how do I—

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@oreostarlight
Farmer: Emily, how do I get revenge on the people who have wronged me?
Emily: The best revenge is letting go and living well!
Farmer:
Farmer: Haley, how do I—

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Emily: Oh, fiddlesticks! This really ruffles my feathers!
Shane: [trembling] Please, just say fuck.
Sebastian: [to someone else] Yeah, I’m just not that big of a fan of physical touch.
Farmer: [practically tackling Sebastian from behind in a bear hug] SEBASTIAN! I missed you! The past two hours have been the longest two hours of my life!
Sebastian:
Sebastian: [slowly wrapping his arms around Farmer] This doesn’t count.
Alex: Two bros, chillin’ in a hot tub, five feet apart ‘cause we’re not gay!
Farmer:
Farmer: We’ve been married for five years—
Penny: Farmer, your turn! Two truths and one lie!
Farmer: Okay, so… My favorite color is red, I’m right-handed…
Farmer: And I explored all 120 floors of the mines and donated all my valuable artifacts to Gunther so he would give me a rusty key, letting me go down to the sewers and meet a friendly shadow guy, who I’m now letting live in my house to protect him from the dwarf assassins.
Penny: Oh, Farmer, as entertaining as that story was, I think you should make the lie a bit less obvious-
Sam: They’re left-handed.
Penny:
Sam:
Farmer:
Penny: YOU WHAT
Farmer: Okay, so…
My favorite color is
red, I’m right-handed…
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
you’re doing great haiku bot❤️

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Alex: Bro—
Farmer: Wait, hold on, pause. Your tongue was just down my throat and you’re calling me “bro”?
Clint: [trying to flirt] So… how’s the most beautiful person in the world doing?
Emily: Farmer is doing great, thanks for asking!
Farmer: [five minutes after meeting Shane] Do not fall in love with the spiteful, antisocial disaster. Do not fall in love with the spiteful, antisocial disaster. Do n
Farmer: [laying awake in bed at 2 AM] shit
Sam: [calling Farmer] Hey, Sebastian, do you think Farmer knows I like them?
Farmer: Wait, what?!
Sam: Oh, wrong number!
Farmer: No, wai-
Sam: [hangs up and calls Sebastian]
Sam: Hey, Sebastian, do you think Farmer-
Farmer: Elliott! Did it hurt when you fell?
Elliott: In love with you? ;)
Farmer: … I love you, Elliott, I do. So much. BUT YOU JUST FELL DOWN A WHOLE FLIGHT OF STAIRS

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Sam: [putting his feet on the table] So, I heard you like bad boys?
Farmer: …No?
Sam: [putting his feet back down] Oh, good, that felt terrible.
Alex: Farmer, are you ok?
Farmer: [crying] Yeah, it’s just these onions.
Alex: [to the onions] What the hell did you say to them—
Sam: [does something dumb]
Sebastian: [leaning over to Farmer and whispering] Are you sure you want that one? We can get you another one if you want-
Farmer: [already in love] No! No, I want that one.
Penny: I’ve just ordered my new dress!
Farmer: Great! While you were doing that, I was checking up on the ring bear!
Penny: You meant to say “ring bearer,” right?
Farmer:
Penny: Farmer. Look me in the eyes and tell me you aren’t bringing a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.
Harvey: Farmer, no! You’ll get hurt!
Farmer: [standing on a rooftop on Sam’s skateboard] I have traversed the deepest, most deadly caverns with nothing but a pickaxe and a rusted blade, destroyed godlike threats with only a slingshot, I don’t fear death anymore!
Harvey: FARMER, GET OFF THE DAMN ROOF!
Farmer: OH, I WILL!

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Lewis: I stopped you because you were trying to fit three people on a motorcycle!
Abigail, Sebastian, and Farmer: Wait, three?!
Lewis: Yes, you three are in big trou-
Farmer: SAM FELL OFF?!
Elliott: [turning around in a swivel chair in a dimly lit room] I’ve been expecting you.
Farmer: You practiced that, didn’t you?
Elliott: I did! Thank you for noticing.