ground control to major tom

‪I once watched a woman pop off all 10 of her press-on nails into the trash before walking into a lesbian bar

POUR JUICE ON YOUR BABY. J UUSTT PP OURR J UCIICCE ALL OVOEOR RYOUR YOUN GG  CHILDD, J US T DO I T YO U PIE CE OF

I’m going to level with you here, this is really more of a “holy shit dude, fuckin sweet!” than a “hmm.”

a d&d group who have only ever played virtually are forced to meet up and join forces when it seems their dm has gone missing. the group is comprised of beautiful popular athlete pretending to be a dork online, a dork pretending to be a beautiful popular athlete online, a stereotypical lives-in-his-mother’s-basement gamer who’s secretly rich, and the dm’s brother who doesn’t know the dm is his sister – they’ve never even exchanged real names online. halfway through their search they realize the dm sent them on a wild goose chase on purpose to give them the thrill of a real-life adventure. three quarters of the way through they realize that through the actions the dm set up for them to take, they’re actually being framed for a crime she committed. 

Unrealistic premise, it requires players to actually follow the DM’s beautifully crafted plan for more than five minutes, zero stars

yeah, these are D&D players. they’re just going to steal the first dog they see and then burn down a grocery store. 

I laughed.