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I pick up the skirt, I pick up the sparkling beads in black, this thing that moved once around flesh, and I call God a liar, I say anything that moved like that or knew my name could never die in the common verity of dying, and I pick up her lovely dress, all her loveliness gone, and I speak to all the gods, Jewish gods, Christ-gods, chips of blinking things, idols, pills, bread, fathoms, risks,  knowledgeable surrender, rats in the gravy of 2 gone quite mad without a chance, hummingbird knowledge, hummingbird chance, I lean upon this, I lean on all of this and I know: her dress upon my arm: but they will not give her back to me.

I have just listened to this

symphony which Mozart dashed off

in one day

and it had enough wild and crazy

joy to last

forever,

whatever forever

is

Mozart came as close as

possible to 

that.

Survivors of abuse sometimes decide to take their abuser to court.

But this can be traumatic for many reasons.

For starters, it means seeing their abuser again.

It also means abusers have the opportunity to manipulate the court system, and retraumatize their victim, gaining control over them again.

To make sure they remain in control, survivors have to make sure they are prepared.

They overcharged her by more than double, she claimed. All she wanted was a fair rate for a remodeling project in her house.

The carpenters refused. The work was done. She owed them money.