timotheus

Ich fürchte mich so vor der Menschen Wort. Sie sprechen alles so deutlich aus: Und dieses heißt Hund und jenes heißt Haus, und hier ist Beginn und das Ende ist dort. Mich bangt auch ihr Sinn, ihr Spiel mit dem Spott, sie wissen alles, was wird und war; kein Berg ist ihnen mehr wunderbar; ihr Garten und Gut grenzt grade an Gott. Ich will immer warnen und wehren: Bleibt fern. Die Dinge singen hör ich so gern. Ihr rührt sie an: sie sind starr und stumm. Ihr bringt mir alle die Dinge um.

For Example:

Vicious Mockery: Heal an ally by complimenting them

Hellish Rebuke: If someone heals you, you heal them back

Dispel Magic: Make someone else's spell more powerful

Magic Missile: Launch a series of deadly magic bolts that always miss.

Feathfall: Slam into the ground at terminal velocity from any height

Commune With Outer Plane: God calls you up and asks you questions about your life

Invisibility: Become extremely loud, garish looking and obnoxious until you attack someone

Plane Shift: Bring another plane of existence to where you are

Daylight: Put out the sun

Disguse Self: Writes your name on your head in sharpie

Leomund's Tiny Hut: Burn Leomund's house down, wherever he's living now

Death Ward: You cast it and just keel over on the spot.

Monster who attacks you if you make a noise

Monster who attacks you if you stop making noises

Monster who attacks if you point out this a blatant rip-off of cult 2018 horror movie "A Quiet Place"

Monster who attacks if you stop twerking, in or out of game

Monster who attacks if you're not already being attacked by another monster

Monster who attacks once it has filled out the requisite forms for attacking you, please stay in the creepy house for 3-5 working days while we wait for a reply

Monster that attacks you every 30 minutes on clockwork. There's a 5 minute reminder.

Monster who attacks you if you don't tidy your room and eat healthily IRL.

Monster who attacks you if you metagame. No-one in-universe knows why they attack and you have to explain in-universe what your theory is without getting mauled.

Monster who attacks you whenever. Get off its back, ok? It'll get round to it when it gets round to it.

Like he sees Eddie dressing nicely, and smiling more, and listening to Tears for Fears, and he’s hanging out with Robin and Nancy and Steve basically all the time, so he think’s he knows what’s up

Eddie’s dating one of the girls

(he’s almost right)

So one morning after just Steve stays the night (cause Eddie might be grown, but he’s still Wayne’s kid, and he’s not allowed girls overnight in the house, he’s too young to have grandkids yet) Wayne corners Steve in the kitchen before Eddie’s up, and asks

“So, which of those girls you boys are always hanging out is Eddie’s, and which one’s yours?”

Steve, who is literally wearing Eddie’s shirt and boxers, sporting at least four visible hickeys and has slept over more nights than he hasn’t in the last week can just barely splutter out a pathetically false “We’re all single actually,” before running back to Eddie’s room to hide

a modern day eddie would still be a metalhead dnd player who's probably read the LoTR triology more than once; he'd just also own all the movies and know a bunch of useless trivia about the actual filming and production.

he'd probably still be a drug dealer, still gets held back a year in high school, probably has a second hand phone with a cracked screen that he only uses to listen to music, skips class because his teachers don't like him, runs a dnd club either in the drama room or the art room, either forges notes to get out of phys ed or just doesn't show up, he strikes me as someone who enjoys the process of burning music onto cd's so he probably has a bunch of mixtapes in his glove box and steve would hate driving with him bc his car wouldn't have an AUX port or anything so he'd either have to listen to the radio or eddie's music

nancy: right hand blue

eddie: *smacks steve’s ass*

steve: eddie what-

Steve: My..My gay name??

Eddie: Yeah, it’s your first name-

Steve: Oh haha very funny-

Eddie, getting on one knee: and my last name

Steve: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.

Robin: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.

Eddie: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.

Nancy: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.

Eddie: No, the other way

Eddie: Again, the other way

Eddie: Okay, one more time

Steve: OH MY GOD, WHERE ARE YOU?!