i don't do bad sauce passes
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Today's Document
Cosmic Funnies
NASA
Cosimo Galluzzi

oozey mess

ellievsbear
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Kaledo Art
sheepfilms
styofa doing anything
taylor price
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

JBB: An Artblog!
KIROKAZE
art blog(derogatory)

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@openup-yourmind

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THE MAN FROM UNCLE ‧ 2015 ENOLA HOLMES ‧ 2020 IN THE GREY ‧ 2026
The Fifth Element [Masterlist]
COD/Fallout TF141/F!Reader Polyamory Chapterlist
You always knew Vault-Tec was planning this. Their war began in a terrible flash right in front of your eyes. As the bombs exploded in the city around you, you had no choice but to crawl into a cryotank and hope for the best. You'd wait for the reinforcements. For someone. Anyone. But, no one came. Centuries passed by in an awful, infinite blackness, and you were suspended somewhere between life and death. Until one day… you woke up.
Chapter 01: Hydrogen
Chapter 02: Helium
Chapter 03: Lithium
Chapter 04: Beryllium
Chapter 05: Boron
Chapter 06: Carbon
Chapter 07: Nitrogen
Chapter 08: Oxygen
I know you said it in the post but I neeeeeeeed an in depth part to Simon's reaction to the tattoos. I'm not crazy tatted but it's enough to notice. Its nice to see this spin ☺️
Simon getting so turned on by reader's tattoos Part 2 Part 1
kinda smut I guess?
Simon had you corned against the wall, he tugged at the bottom of your shirt “take it off” one second he’s all shy and now he's bossing you around, when you didn't move he leaned down to whisper in your ear “I tried to ignore ya and yer pretty tattoos, not my fault ya kept showin’ up and showin’ them off” you smirked, you tattoos really had such an effect on him, you pointed to his shirt “you have to take it off too” you knew damn well Simon was tatted up to, you hadn't seen much besides his arm sleeves, but you knew he had more. You took your shirt off in one motion before motioning to his shirt.
Simon just stared at your torso for a moment, taking in all the tattoos it just revealed before taking off his own shirt. And just like you expected his whole chest leading up to his neck was tattooed, you reached a hand out trying to touch his tattoos but he grabbed your hand “no, this isn't about my tattoos, it’s about yours luv” he took a step closer to you, leaning his head down to get a proper look at the tattoos near your chest. He looked from your neck down to your collar bone, he frowned slightly at your bra but didn't move it yet.
He took a step back to look at the tattoos on your stomach, he openly frowned when one of them went down past your pants on your outer thigh where he couldn't see, you smirked, pulling the side of your pants down slightly to show off the rest of the tattoo. Simon pulled you slightly off the wall only to turn you around and look at the tattoos on your back. He was quiet, fingers trailing down your back, stopping occasionally, then he abruptly unhooked your bra sliding it completely off of you. He flipped you back over, eyes immediately on your chest, and you're not sure if he was entirely focused on your tattoos right now.
Simon brought up his hand to cup one of your boobs, squeezing gently before moving to the other and doing the same thing. He then traced a finger over the tattoos on your chest “you let someone tattoo ya ‘ere?” you smirked "jealous Simon?” he glanced up at you briefly before looking back down at your chest. He moved his hands over your arms, looking over all your tattoos before going back over your collar, gently wrapping his hand around your neck, softly squeezing before bringing his hands back to your chest, grabbing your nips and pulling slightly making you whine.
Then Simon got on his knees, hands roaming your stomach area, getting a good look at the tattoos there. Then he pulled your pants down, his hands slowly going down your legs. He stood up abruptly, gently pushing you towards the bed, he spread your legs “and ya had someone between yer legs” he said noting your thigh tattoos, you smirked, he really was jealous about you having someone so close to you. Simon pulled off your underwear, throwing them somewhere in the room. He grabbed one of your legs going from top to bottom looking at your tattoos, his hands lingering on your thigh, when he got back up to your ass, which was tattoo free, “oh but this was to personal” he said in a mocking tone before giving your ass a nice smack “at least I can see how red you ass gets” then he did the same thing on with your other leg.
Then Simon got off the bed and pulled off his own pants, before grabbing both of your legs and pushing them up, he rubbed a finger over your clit, smiling when he felt how wet you were. He lined himself up “now yer goin’ to tell me about all this tattoos while I fuck ya seneseless, startin’ with the ones on your chest and thighs” you smirked at him but before you got a chance to say something sassy Simon thrusted into you “suggest ya start talkin’ if ya wanna cum” the smile on his face told you he was telling the full truth. And right as you opened your mouth to start talking, Simon was rubbing a thumb over your sensitive clit, he would stop if you closed your mouth, but the moment you opened your mouth to talk he rub mean fast circles making you moan out. Mean smirk on his face the whole time, oh this was his plan the whole time.
HusbandKuna x Reader who lost her memory
After a tragic accident erased your memories, you no longer remember the man you married. Unfortunately for you, Ryomen Sukuna remembers everything. And he'll do whatever it takes to make you remember him too.
Everything was so much weird.
When you first opened your eyes, the world was a blur of harsh lights and a rhythmic, annoying beep that made your head throb. A crowd of people were hovering over your bed, their faces twisted into expressions of pure horror and desperation. It felt like they were looking at a ghost or maybe a god that had suddenly fallen from the sky. The moment you blinked and stared back at them with blank, unrecognizing eyes, the room dissolved into quiet, breathless weeping.
You were completely utterly lost. Who was the woman with the dark circles under her eyes calling herself Shoko? Why was she gripping your hand like her entire world was ending? You knew your own name y/n echoed clearly in the empty caverns of your mind, but beyond that single fact, there was only a vast, terrifying void. You understood the modern world. you knew what a smartphone was, you recognized the concept of Wi-Fi, and when you mumbled those details, the doctors in the room let out collective, gasping sighs of relief.
But the real shock came twenty minutes later.
The heavy door to the hospital room burst open with a violent slam. A man lunged inside like a madman, his chest heaving as he fought for breath. You had never seen anyone look like him. His hair was a soft, striking shade of pastel pink so pretty and unexpected that you wondered for a fleeting second if he had dyed it just to stand out. Dark, intricate tattoos mapped across his skin, curling around his sharp cheekbones and framing his eyes. And those eyes... they were a piercing, burning red, swirling with a volatile mixture of terrifying rage and profound, shattering sadness.

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Yeah turns out Soap lives and Ghost retires and they get married and live a happy life together! Idk what you heard???
⌇υѕє мє
Conrad x f!reader⌇
request ~ “Can I get angry sex with Captain Conrad? He’s rough, taking what he wants from you, maybe slams you against a wall or something“ by @sailorholly ♡
warnings ~ 18+ smut, dom/sub, rough sex, language, angry Conrad
not me rereading this, nooooooooooooo
But HOT DAMN 🥵🥵🥵🥵😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨
Wife! Me! UP Conrad!
Rereading this becasue it's a national treasure
This silly little thing went viral on twitter lol
To me it’s a really comfortable position.
— “Explain This” w/ Chris Evans
Are You Ready? Part 2
Pairing - Mafia Boss Bucky x Reader
Summary - Bucky took you from your meaningless old life, but are you ready to give in and give him all of you? Based on THIS ASK
Read Part 1 Here
Warnings - Smut, oral, p in v. 18+ Only! My warnings are not extensive so enter at your own risk!
Word Count - 3k

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You know when cats take a fat nap and wake up all scraggly art by chucklenuts
NOBLE ✦ heian!sukuna and his new arranged wife!reader...who barely looks at him, let alone fucks him... | NSFW. oral (f. rec). slight degredation. manhandling. a steamy onsen. ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა (3.6k)
Life had been a series of decisions made by everyone but you.
Being raised under strict rule and watchful eye just to be sold off to the wealthiest, most respected man in the country wasn't something you fought exactly, you knew it was a battle you wouldn't win.
They could treat you like a prize sow, but that didn't mean you'd sit there getting fat and happy and filled with babies like one.
Especially not when you were being unloaded onto a warlord.
Sorry, not a warlord, the warlord.
Unrivaled and undefeated, Sukuna Ryomen wore blood and ash to your first meeting as casually as he did his kimono.
Draped, loose, open in the front like he didn't care who gawked at his chiseled chest or the thick black ink that wrapped his body and disappeared into the robe.
You kept your head low but your eyes on the bored, tattooed face of the man who didn't even seem to be listening to the details of your ceremony taking place the following week.
Sukuna got one look at your expression, your posture, your dress, and was about to write you off as yet another mindless, well trained insect who got off on following orders. You certainly looked the part.
But as the meeting finished and you rose to your feet, lowering to a deep and respectful bow, you muttered something at him.
"I do hope you plan to bathe before the ceremony, I can smell you from here."
When you straightened, your face gave absolutely nothing away. But there was venom and fire slithering behind the courteous tone.
When you walked off to follow your mother and father, you did not look back.
But you... you insulted him. Told him he stunk right to his face and shattered the image he'd built in his head in the moments you knelt across from him.
Maybe you weren't the polite, sweet, mindless doll your parents raised you to be.
Well, at least you wouldn't be boring.
...
Oh, how he had come to regret those words.
— Letting Sukuna’s stomach mouth eat you out
It happened every time Sukuna would nap, his stomach mouth would awaken like another whole entity itself and start talking to you, somehow sensing your presence every time.
Its voice, deeper than Sukuna’s yet still extremely similar, drawled out slowly. “I have always wondered what you’d taste like, woman.”
Your throat bobs nervously. “Can’t you taste things from both mouths?”
He hummed ‘no’, lip twitching up into a smirk. “Care to appease my wishes? I can already feel you throbbing on my thigh.”
You shift upon Sukuna’s lap, the man himself still deep in sleep. He remained with his eyelids fluttered closed as you slipped off the silk robe you were wearing and discarded your underwear, slowly shuffling up his abdomen until you were hovering over the stomach mouth.
“Don’t leave a starved man waiting,” the stomach growled beneath you, breath touching in between your legs and making your thighs squeeze against either side of his torso.
Hesitantly, you lowered yourself down until the thick tongue pressed flat against your heat, sinking into your slick and licking a long strip fron your hole to your clit. Your nails dig into your husbands skin immediately, lower lip tucked between your teeth to try and quieten your moans.
“Are- are you sure about this?” You ask tentatively, glancing up at Sukuna sleeping soundly.
“Mmm,” the mouth hums in pleasure. “Very sure.”
You writhed and moaned atop him, head tipping back in ecstasy, any remaining sensibility leaving your brain the second the long, thick tongue delved into your hole and ate you out as if you were its last meal and it was the sweetest thing it had ever tasted.
You’d finished twice already when Sukuna grumbled on the bed, hands twitching and eyes flickering, threatening to open and expose you of your current act. The speed at which you pull off his stomach makes the bed shake violently, throwing the discarded robe over your naked body as quickly as possible.
It’s your erratic movements that causes your husband to fully wake, slipping from unconsciousness and blindly reaching for you. You settle down next to him casually. “I’m here, Ryo.”
“Hm,” he grumbles sleepily. “Did you rest?”
You nod. “Mhm.”
“Good.”
There’s a beat of silence as you both settle down to sleep again.
“Liar. I can taste you on my tongue.”
Busted.
#the real ones are all of them (insp)
✮ getting stuck in an elevator with two hot bosses who want you cannot be that bad, right? *pwp
"shit, we're gonna be here a while," nanami breathed out annoyed and loosened his tie after the dispatcher didn't answer again and the call button totally stopped working. your shift ended like three hours ago, but you were still there, typical you, obsessing over some report. the office was totally empty.
well, except for two department heads you were lucky enough to get stuck with in one cramped elevator.
the elevator felt way too small for three adults. you were basically squeezed between them and could feel the heat coming off their bodies. behind you was nanami's tall figure, and right in front of you — higuruma. both were a head taller than you, wider in the shoulders, and fucking hot.
i mean, it wasn't for nothing that you always wore short skirts even though the dress code said no, that you accidentally spilled coffee on higuruma's pants so you could apologize with bambi eyes and wipe a napkin near his cock. for months you played a dangerous game: you leaned over a little more than you should, showed off your chest when you sat across from him, brushed your shoulder against nanami's in the narrow hallway, and left documents on hiromi's desk that were soaked in your boldest perfume. you teased both of them at the same time, gave them hope, but always slipped away the second their stares got too heavy. a little flirting is fun, alright?

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cat shifter!ghost who dips in and out of your house like he owns the place.
surprisingly, he’s a scrawny little thing. there’s random patches of clumped-up fur on his creamy coat and white markings on his face that remind you of a skull. he’s such a little shit too—constantly answering back with angry chirps when you try to shoo him away, sneaking bits of food off your plate when you’re distracted, and spraying just about anything in his path to mark his territory. he could be sleeping on your couch, but as soon as you try to sit or, god forbid, lie down with him, he gets up and finds another spot to nap in. even attempting to pet him results in getting swiped at.
until one night you feel something jump up on the bed. it’s your little mate, and he’s in a very friendly mood judging by the way he curls up right against your chest, head tucked under your chin. he’s never slept near you before, let alone with you, so the only thing running through your mind is don’t fuck it up, don’t fuck it up.
and then he begins purring. the sound starts off quiet and choppy, but as he relaxes, it grows louder, and it’s so comforting that you fall asleep to the whirring, cuddling him closer to keep him warm.
which is all fine and well until the morning comes and you realise that what you are feeling is not fur but a big, meaty arm, and there is no longer a cat burying his head in your chest but instead a behemoth of a man who is currently snoring like a chainsaw.
…and are those fucking cat ears on his head?
calling toji out for cumming too much.... 18+
“toji,” you say, trying not to laugh, “you cum a lot.”
“….the fuck did you just say?”
you can’t hold it anymore. you start giggling into his shoulder, “i’m being so serious, every single time it’s so much. last week i had to change the sheets twice, it was everywhere.”
toji stares at you for another second, “you little shit,” he mutters, but he’s grinning now. he grabs your waist and pulls you onto his lap so you’re straddling him. “complainin’ about my load? most girls would be thankin’ me.”
“i am not complaining,” you say, still laughing as you wrap your arms around his neck. “i’m just saying it’s a lot.”
his hands slide under your shirt, warm palms on your bare skin. “yeah? then maybe i should give you even more to talk about.”
he takes your shirt off and tosses it behind the couch. his mouth goes straight to your chest, sucking on your nipple while his hands grab your ass and pull you down against the hard bulge in his sweatpants.
your giggles turn into soft moans now as you rock your hips. his fingers push your shorts and panties to the side, two thick fingers sliding into you without warning.
“fuck—! baby mhmm shou—warn me first..”
“ooh my bad,” he says against your skin, “gotta bit excited.”
you ride his hand until you cum hard, clenching around his fingers as you scream his name nonstop. when he finally pulls his hand away he licks his fingers clean, eyes never leaving yours. “why’re you so yummy?”
you’re still catching your breath when he shoves his sweatpants down enough to free his cock.
“c’mere.”
you sink down on him slowly, both of you groaning as he stretches you open. toji is thick and big like that, and the fullness he gives you never disappoints. you start moving and rolling your hips, taking him deeper each time.
“honey jus— r-ride it yeahh.”
you lean in close and whisper, “you gonna cum a bunch again? gonna make a mess?”
he laughs, he likes when you talk dirty to him. “keep talking like that and i’ll make sure it’s dripping down your thighs for days.”
the pace gets faster, your skin slapping with his, your moans mixing with his grunts. he fucks up into you harder, hitting that spot he knows so well.
“yeah? you like that?” he reaches between you and rubs your clit again. “cum on my cock. lemme feel it.”
you cum again, crying out as your walls squeeze him tight. toji curses under his breath and follows right after pumping you full.
and yeah…. he really does cum a lot.
you can feel it right away, it’s hot and thick, spilling deep inside you. so much so that it starts leaking out around his cock almost immediately, running down his balls and onto the couch.
you stay sitting on him, both of you breathing hard. after a few seconds you start giggling again, forehead pressed to his shoulder.
“told you,” you mumble. “it’s actually ridiculous.”
toji chuckles, arms wrapping around you to keep you right there on his cock. “brat, round two’s coming and i’m not holding back this time.”
“wha—you were holding back?!”
he smacks your ass hard enough to make you yelp, then kisses you deep and dirty ~ “honey, you talk a lot.”