Oregano

and now all is grey and we are alone and stalked and the water has gone stale in our throats

please remember and do not forget the bricks are heavy but they crumble into red dirt again the pebbles on your soles the sand in your hair

please remember to move your lips the dirt is stale on your face and when you swallow the coarse ash do not forget the smoke that blew that disappeared on the horizon to collect on the roof of your tent

and very happy about the person im becoming tbh

im also rly rly excited for like the next few months + the next year just. bc it's good.

and quarantine sucks so i almost have to keep reminding myself things r better than before and are like ok and getting better

cannot really control that, obviously

not like im afraid of it as a concept of w/e but. i do not enjoy things that are impending but really far away, and hypothetical and unknown but still somewhat planned/anticipated at the same time.

who? when? where? idk! however, somehow, it is something i hope to do at some point i suppose! which is wack!

i also Really do not enjoy things that have many different definitions and meanings and implications to different people

and i would rather obsessively reverse-dread the unknown happiness of the future,

bleeding,, but specifically being drained of blood

writing about writing/the act or creation

bugs nd worms

magic and magic users

sometimes bleeding unnatural things or having stuff grow out of u like plants

responding to injustice

separating/distinguishing bc i’m kinda fixated on the wording surrounding the Havdallah prayer

various joints in the body

morning and creation of new days

also the constant ones of sand/the desert, the ocean/rivers/large bodies of water, household objects that are kind of uncommon (baskets, basins, buckets, farming tools), priests/altars/etc., and blades/weapons

also Time and The Universe and Love and the moon and stars and ESPECIALLY the Sun.