save me from the tide

On James’ 20th birthday, after a rough breakup and much alcohol, Sirius and James made a deal. If they were both single in 10 years, they’d get married to each other.

Neither of them ever mentioned it again as the years passed and they both fell in and out of relationships that just couldn’t quite seem to last.

As they crept closer and closer toward 30, Sirius couldn’t help but to remember that deal. When he thought about it, why wouldn’t he wanna marry James? He grew to realize that maybe what he felt for his best friend was more than just friendship but love. He was in love with him.

After that epiphany it all clicked and yet, he was too scared to tell James. So he waited, secretly pining in hopes that one day, maybe there would be a chance to tell him.

When James’ 30th birthday finally arrived, he flew back to England to celebrate. A ring he’d bought months earlier weighing heavy in his pocket.

This was his chance. He would finally tell James.

As he stepped into the arrivals lounge in the airport, he took a deep breath, preparing to do the scariest thing in his life. Propose to the man he loved and possibly face rejection.

But before his thoughts could spiral, that very same man was coming up to him, a grin wide on his face.

“Sirius!” James drew him into a tight hug before stepping back, “Glad you could make it. I’d like you to meet someone.”

At those words Sirius’ attention was caught by the bright red hair and a beautiful smile of a woman beside James.

“Meet my fiancée, Lily.” And Sirius watched as their hands clasped tightly together, a ring shining bright on her finger.

His heart fell.

He was too late.

***

Sirius tried. He really did, to be happy for James.

He watched how Lily and James cared for each other and he could see it but, something seemed off. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part from years of yearning after his best friend but there was something he couldn’t quite let go of. Something they weren’t telling him. It showed in their subtle glances, like a shared secret held between friends.

And then it happened.

Sirius hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, truly, he was just looking for the restroom during James’ party but, he paused when he heard his name. Curious, he drew closer to the cracked door of the room where the hushed voices were coming from and recognized James’ voice immediately.

“I don’t know what to do Lil’s. I love him so much but what if he doesn’t feel the same? I know we made that deal when we were young and he probably doesn’t remember or thought it was a joke. But, it was real for me. I don’t want to lose him. He’s my everything. So even if being friends is all I can have, I’ll take it. In a heartbeat. I was so scared he’d reject me or hate me if I’d actually gotten on one knee when he got here. That’s why I asked you to pose as my fiancée, so he wouldn’t feel weird or suspect my feelings. But, now that he’s here? I feel like I’m betraying him somehow. My heart is breaking having him so close, and yet I can’t have him. What do I do?”

“James, you need to tell him. I know I agreed to pose as your fiancée but, I’m breaking off our fake engagement now. As your friend, I need you to know that you will regret not going after him just because you were scared for the rest of your life. Tell Sirius you’re in love with him. I actually think you might be surprised by how he reacts.”

At that, Sirius burst through the door, not being able to walk away after hearing everything they’d just confessed.

“You’re in love with me?”

They both froze.

James turned toward him, eyes wide in shock. He opened and closed his mouth several times before words seemed to find him, “I-I Siri, I can explain…”

But Sirius pushed on, he needed the answer, “Yes or no James? Are you in love with me?”

“Yes, I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for years I just didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to lose you. Please don’t hate me.” James begged, eyes pleading as tears started slipping down his cheeks.

Sirius helplessly let out a small laugh, striding forward to meet him. “I could never hate you Jamie.” He swiped the pads of his thumbs against the other man’s wet cheeks, adjusting his glasses.

Then he leaned in and kissed him. Not caring that Lily watched them or that James’ mouth was slightly wet, tasting like salt from his tears. He kissed him like his life depended on it, and James kissed him back.

When Sirius finally drew back, he stared into those beautiful brown eyes that haunted his every dream. Smiling as he answered the question he saw in them, “I’m so in love with you too, James.”

Then he dropped to one knee and pulled out the ring he’d brought with him, staring up at the love of his life. “Marry me James? A deals a deal and I want to make you my husband for life.”

James laughed, reaching down for him and slipping on the ring, “Nothing would make me happier.”

Regulus stepped out of the stifling event, the cool night air welcome against her flushed skin. She hated attending these sorts of elitist parties, they made her sick to her stomach. Always full of a bunch of snakes trying to manipulate themselves into favor with her family, greedy for power. But, she was forced to attend after Sirius ran off and she became the sole heir to the House of Black.

She was loathed to admit how much she missed him but, on nights like these, he’d always known how to distract her from the uncomfortable dresses and people. He’d find a way to sneak them out and go to the rooftop. They’d gaze at the stars, dreaming of different lives where they could be free to be whoever they wanted and do anything.

Pipe dreams. That’s all they were. She’d never have a choice or freedom. She hated him for leaving but, deep down, a small part of her, secretly wished he’d taken her with him.

The evening breeze swept the noise from the party behind her into the night, carrying the scent of expensive champagne and power hungry greed. She felt like she might be sick at the stench of it, wishing she could be anywhere but here.

Stepping off the stoop, she strode towards the nearby alley, desperately seeking some reprieve in its welcoming darkness. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she came to an abrupt halt at the sight of the helmeted figure leaning casually against the alley wall.

Looking directly at her, was none other than James Potter, the heir to her family’s rivalry gang.

Drew a really bad sketch of Regulus Black today with some crappy watercolor pencils

(please ignore the bad anatomy and the mouth, it accidentally got smudged)

Regulus couldn’t look when the bride he was supposed to marry walked down the aisle towards him. His gaze stayed unfocused as she approached, thick veil covering her face. They had never met before, why would it matter what she looked like. It wasn’t like Regulus got a choice, he had to marry out of duty to his family, his parents. He didn’t have a choice.

He didn’t hear the words as the decrepit old man ceiling his doom droned on beside them, lost in his own head. Anxiety clawing up his throat, scratching at his skin. This was wrong, he couldn’t do this. He wanted to run and never stop.

He didn’t move.

His hands trembled slightly against his sides, his heart racing. He was having a full blown panic attack. He couldn’t breathe. Where had all the oxygen gone? Why couldn’t he breathe. Just inhale, it’s not that hard. His body wasn’t responding to his mind though, even as his lungs screamed.

Warm hands found his own, encircling his smaller pale ones in their larger grasp. Regulus inhaled, immediately feeling calmer. His gaze focused on the hands before him as the ceremony continued. These hands seemed familiar, like something he knew well. He couldn’t quite place why though, like a dream he’d just woken from, the connection staying just out of reach.

They were strong yet delicate in the way they held his, keeping him grounded but not trapped. He could feel slight callouses brush his smooth skin as she rubbed soothing circles against the back of his hands with her thumbs. He bemusedly thought it was surprising that his parents would let him marry someone who wasn’t white with their *cough* family tendencies. Then he noticed something, a white scar lining the top of one of her hands, a memory tried to push through the surface but he only got flashes, his brain still to out of it.

The priest said something and Regulus didn’t hear him, gentle pressure pressed into his hands and he refocused, spewing out his memorized lines. The priest continued and his soon to be wife uttered a quite response. Something about her tone felt familiar as well. Had they met before?

Regulus couldn’t think about that now though because this was it. The priest had said those final words and now he had to seal his own doom.

Regulus looked up, and up, and up, how tall was this girl seriously? Regulus hadn’t realized until now how big their height difference was, she was looming over him. They had to pick the tallest girl they could find. Now he had to be reminded how short he was for the rest of his life, he had terrible luck. His thoughts were quickly silenced as she lifted her veil and smiled down at him.

Time stood still.

Regulus couldn’t breathe, but for different reasons this time. He stared into the twinkling eyes of none other than James Fleamont Potter. He’d recognize those deep brown eyes anywhere, even under all the makeup and was that a wig? God, even dressed as a girl, James was beautiful. It was like staring into the sun. His sun. Regulus could never forget him even if he tried.

He sucked in a breath, a thousand questions flooding through his mind but there wasn’t time because all he needed to do now was say two words. James nodded at him, smile never leaving his face and Regulus said, “I do.”

James repeated it back and then they were exchanging rings, signing something and everything was moving so fast Regulus was barely paying attention, eyes locked on the man before him. How was this possible?

Then James was leaning in and they were kissing, it felt like every part of Regulus that had been missing was filled back in again. And then James was pulling away to whisper against his ear, “We might wanna start running now love. I’m amazed no one as recognized me yet.” And then they were sprinting hand in hand down the aisle, loud shouts surrounding them as the guests realized something was amiss. But they were already gone, laughing as they sprinted down the steps and into the awaiting car.

Sirius grinning at them as they piled in, “Hello little brother, thought the marauders could pull off one more stunt for your big day. Might of been our best one yet, yeah?”

James waved a document at Sirius’ face, “Legal too, guess we’re officially brothers after all!”

That’s all James could think.

Faster.

He needed to move faster.

Keep moving.

Keep moving.

Move.

A twig snapped nearby.

He wasn’t alone.

It was a trap.

He knew it was too easy. Too suspicious but he came anyway. How could he be so stupid. He was better than this. His instincts honed over years of training. He’d known something was amiss the minute he’d arrived. The department had received a distress call about a possible serial killer sighting and James had took off chasing the lead.

It was late, the woods dark by the time his headlights switched off. He should have waited for backup but he wanted to catch the killer. Needed to avenge Peter, his childhood friend.

James hadn’t recognized the voice of the man on the phone who’d called the active tip hotline. It had been smooth, like rich French wine but with an underlying note of restlessness and urgent fear.

Now James knew it had been fake.

The man had lured him here, preyed on the James’ eagerness to help. Even when his gut had screamed at him to run the other way. He’d come. And now here he was.

Running.

Being chased.

By someone. Some thing.

All he knew was that man who’d called must be here. Which meant James’ suspicions on the author Remus Lupin were wrong. Because it hadn’t been his voice at all. No. His was stronger, heady. Calm and demanding all at once.

Unless they were working together.

James had played with the idea of multiple killers while working on this case but the murders had been to deligent, to precise in their exactness to be two hands. James was rarely wrong. And this time, it may have just cost him his life.

He had to get back to his car, out of these woods. Away from whatever or whoever was out here with him.

Snap.

James’ head whipped around at the sound of another twig breaking behind him.

And ran straight into something solid and hard.

Strong arms caught him before he had the chance to fall to the ground.

“Hello detective, I told you we’d meet again soon.”

James was young to be a detective, maybe in his mid-twenties. To achieve detective status at his age was impressive. He must be quite good. Especially given how focused the detective was on Remus. Quite good indeed.

But he was better.

Remus leaned back in his chair. His body felt stiff from sitting in the uncomfortable interrogation room for so long. They had been at this back and forth game of cat and mouse for hours. The tension in the room so thick, Remus could almost feel it in the air, electricity buzzing under his skin.

Mine. mine. mine.

James was so close. Remus could reach his hand out and touch him if he wanted. Feel the heat radiating off his warm sun kissed skin. If he leaned forward he could smell the sweet, spicy notes of cardamom emanating off the detective with every movement he made. Remus wanted to lick the scent off his skin, bite that golden neck. Mark him, make him bleed. Claim his prize and devour him whole.

Take. take. take.

Remus dug his nails into his own skin, grounding himself.

No.

Not yet.

He needed to have a little more patience before grabbing his prey.

James was almost ready. Remus could feel it deep in his soul.

Almost.

But Moony wanted his mouse to try and run.

Run from him.

Moony enjoyed the chase.

It was only fair to let his prize try to save himself before the wolf claimed him.

“Are we done here?” Remus asked, gaze locked on the handsome detective’s face.

James sighed, a hint of defeat breaking through his otherwise shielded interrogation persona. He nodded, adjusting his glasses, “For now, thank you for your cooperation Mr. Lupin. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again soon enough.”

“Oh, there’s no doubt about that, Detective. And please, call me Remus.,Mr. Lupin is so formal. Don’t you think we’re beyond that now?”

James met his gaze, eyes steady as he spoke, “Is there anything else you want to tell me at this time, Mr. Lupin?”

Remus smiled. Oh, there was so much he wanted to tell the young detective but, now was not the time.

For he had already made his choice.

James was his.

He would not let him get away.

“Am not! I could totally be a top!” Sirius retorted indignantly, attempting to push Remus off him. His efforts just resulted in Remus straddling Sirius’ hips and pinning his hands above his head on the couch.

Sirius blinked up at him, gulping visibly as he looked into Remus’ deep hazel eyes.

“Oh really?” Remus lifted a brow in challenge, “I’d love to see you try.”

“Me too!” James shouted from across the room.

“Prongs stay out of this!” Sirius yelled in James’ general direction, not breaking his stare down with the wolf caging him in.

Sirius lifted his chin, eyes glinting with a spark of defiant challenge.

Remus chuckled lowly, “Go on then. Show me what you’ve got, Black. Try to top me.”

Quick as lightning, Sirius twisted his wrists out of Remus’ hold. He pushed up on Remus’ chest and bucked his hips trying to dislodge him, Remus barely budged.

“Why” push “are” push “you” push “so” push “fucking” push “strong!” Sirius let out an exasperated sound as he collapsed back against the couch, breathing heavily.

“Werewolf, remember?” Remus grinned, sharp canines glinting in the firelight.

Sirius glowered up at Remus who was trying to hold back his laughter at his futile attempt. He was unsuccessful and burst out laughing when he caught sight of the pout on Sirius’ face.

Sirius used Remus distraction to his advantage, subtly slipping his hands under the hem of Remus’ jumper. Remus shivered at the feel of their cool touch ghosting up his skin. The laughter quickly dying in his throat as Sirius’ fingers ran over Remus’ chest, tracing his top surgery scars delicately.

Remus stared intensely into the grey eyes beneath him, watching as they sparked with lighting. The thunder behind those storm clouds threatening to ruin him.

Sirius smiled innocently before pinching Remus’ nipples, hard. Remus jerked away, biting back a groan. Sirius seized this opportunity to knock Remus backwards on the couch and clamber on top of him.

“See Prongs?” Sirius exclaimed victoriously, turning to the other boy, “I can totally be a top!”

“Uhh yeah mate, not sure about that but, I don’t think that’s your biggest problem right now.” James smirked, gesturing back towards Remus.

Sirius’ smile faltered as he looked down. Remus fixed him with a penetrating stare, his iris’ eating the hazel of his eyes as they darkened.

“So you wanna play like that? I see,” Remus smiled up at Sirius, it was not a friendly smile. More that of a hunter who’d spotted its prey.

“Oh fuck—“ was all Sirius got out before Remus grabbed his hips in a bruising hold, and ground up into Sirius, illicitly a startled moan from him.

“Oh fuck is right,” Remus laughed, “Jamie, mind casting a silencing charm before you join? I think Sirius might need to be shown how to properly top.”